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> Older Guys And Younger Girls, should I tell my parents?
Aislinn Faye
post Jun 12 2004, 02:47 PM
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I started dating this 22-year-old, and I'm 17. He's a complete gentleman, still a virgin, and plans to stay that way until he's married. He hasn't missed church since he was seven, and he's living his dream job. He's an overall nice guy, but because of his age, I'm afraid to tell my parents, and he's afraid to tell his, and he's even more afraid of my parents finding out. I've taken a vow of abstinence, so nothing has happened between us. I hate lying to my parents, but I'm so happy with him, he makes me wanna be honest and clean. I'm truly happy with him, but if I tell my parents I'm afraid I won't be able to see him until I turn 18. Gah, just some support and advice please.


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Silver Star Ange...
post Jun 12 2004, 02:50 PM
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Hmm.. sticky situation. I think that you should tell your parents. Technically, it will be safer than taking the risk of hiding your relationship. I think your parents will be less mad if you told them then if they caught yall dating. And if anything was to happen to you, they should know who you're dating.


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snooodlysnoosnoo...
post Jun 12 2004, 03:15 PM
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Tell them, like Silver says it's better that they know now because sneaking around really doesn't get you anywhere.

It's only 6 months before you're 18, they should be understanding because it's not like on your 18th everything suddenly changes and you are an adult or whatever.

Just be honest with them and they should appreciate it. Good luck, he sounds great.


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TigerLily013
post Jun 12 2004, 03:22 PM
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Yeah its best to talk to your parents about it all. It's not a really bad age diference like 10 years or anything. Plus then your relationship will not get stressed from the secret.


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Cath Sparrow
post Jun 12 2004, 04:58 PM
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Pretty much what people have aready said and just think what there reaction would be if they found out from some one else they'll think your trying to hide some thing and it'll get blown out of proportions where as if you tell them now your self yes it might cause some problem to start with but you might be able tosort them out in a lot calmer way. And as has been said the age difference really isn't that big in the long run.


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Aria
post Jun 12 2004, 04:59 PM
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Tell them about him. Heck, have the parents meet him.... if he's as good as you say, I'm sure that would be encouraging to your parents.


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franken-sarah
post Jun 12 2004, 07:18 PM
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QUOTE (Aria @ Jun 12 2004, 05:59 PM)
Tell them about him. Heck, have the parents meet him.... if he's as good as you say, I'm sure that would be encouraging to your parents.

That's a good idea, then everyone will (or should), feel better about the situation. Besides, he's not that much older than you, so they should be okay with it.

Hope everything turns out fine for you *hugs* smile.gif


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Gothymothy girl
post Jun 12 2004, 08:49 PM
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MOst people say tell your parents,and I agree.

BUT


I see your predicament. If I was stuck like this, I probably wouldn't tell them.
Then again, I'd gett my a$$ kicked, so id probably WISH i did.

So my overall advice would be tell them and get it over with.


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kidvicious2punk
post Jun 12 2004, 09:45 PM
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i think you should tell your parents,


it would be a lot different if he was like out of work,lived in his sisters basement kinda guy

but if hes a good as you say he is,you should go for it

also..the age difference isnt as big as i thot you were going to say..like your 13 and hes 21 or something..you practically an adult anyway smile.gif

he sounds wonderful by the way happy.gif


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Queenie
post Jun 14 2004, 06:24 PM
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Wow... he sounds amazing wish i could find one!!

Don't worry about the age gap. 5 years is nothing serious, i went out with a 30 year old - me being 19 and he has a 11 year old daughter. Was the best and worse 6 months of my life.

Anyway your bloke sounds great and i don't know you that well but from your post you seem so positive and happy that it must be a good thing. All you can do is talk to your parents hopefully they will be supportive and stand by you, and if you explain to them how you feel about him and him about you i'm sure they will. Good luck and all the best with him. smile.gif


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Righteous
post Jun 14 2004, 09:57 PM
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My sister (the older one) recently broke up with a 34-year-old cat whom we all thought she was really into. My folks met when my mom was 21 and my dad was 31. I had a girlfriend who was 14 when I was 17 (why Lord?). It's not really that bad. From what I've known of your dad, if you put it in the right light, he should take it well. Your mom appears to be a nutjob (yes, that is a technical term). She got sketchy when she found out how old I am, even when she found out we met in high school. I also recall you saying I can't hug or kiss you (platonically; I'm like that with my friends) when I'm at your house. You might want to be careful with her on this, or wait until you move to your cousin's place as a "by-the-way."

And I do want to meet this cat. He sounds cool. Hell, when Trina, my cousin and his girlfriend comes down, you two should come chill with us at Moon River or something.


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Snugglebum the D...
post Jun 14 2004, 10:02 PM
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I'm just really echoing what everybody else has said...

He sounds like a really amazing guy and someone that any parent would be proud to have dating their daughter.

Perhaps you could start by introducing him to your parents as a close friend and go from there? When they meet him like that and understand what he's about and that he really doesn't pose a threat to you, they may be more open to the idea of the two of you dating?


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Aislinn Faye
post Jun 15 2004, 12:26 AM
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I talked with him and I talked with my cousin's mother in law. And we've come to the conclusion that I tell my father. But, I'm going to move in with my other cousin until he gets a house. Thank you guys for all your support and advice. And my mother is crazy I'm just going to tell my dad. And wait to tell my mother when I turn 18. Thanks again.


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Mr Fuzzy
post Jun 15 2004, 12:51 AM
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The main thing that strikes me about this doesn't have a great deal to do with you and your chap per se. What I see is that sooner or later you and your parents are going to go through a change in your relationship as the realisation comes that you are growing up. There really isn't a way for anybody to avoid it coming out sooner or later, but the main thing to remember is that objections they may raise are partly to do wih you being their child, and partly because they have been in the world for longer than you. A lot of arguments can be saved by remembering that they have most likely been there and done that in their past.


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Righteous
post Jun 15 2004, 01:16 AM
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Shut up, noob!
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You're a wise cat, Fuzz. And you have facial hair and guys with facial hair are awesome.


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spiffilicious05
post Jun 15 2004, 01:37 AM
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My friend went through a situation exactly like yours. She ended up telling her parents and they're fine with it. I guess it all depends on what your parent's personalities are like.


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Aislinn Faye
post Jun 15 2004, 06:13 PM
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yes.. very wise words indeed Mr. Fuzzy and I agree with you. I was talking with my brother and he's dated my friends (he's 21) and I asked him how he would feel if I dated someone his age.. and he about flipped, but I guess it's the older brother cliché thing to do. I'll post here again when I tell my dad and tell you guys what happened. Which will probably be in a few days. I just wish I could tell my dad face to face (I live in Florida and he lives in South Carolina). But anyway, thanks again for you guys support and advice.


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Aislinn Faye
post Jun 16 2004, 11:08 PM
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Gah.. I'm such a coward. I had my Dad on the phone today... and I was about to tell him.. then I just told him that I had something to tell him, and that it was good news.. and that when he came down to enroll me in school that I would tell him. And yeah... god, I'm such a coward.


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Lord of darness
post Jun 17 2004, 12:13 AM
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well you should spill it to your parents. They have no right to tell you know and if not then you have to wait a year to see him. Ifthat is true you can see it as a test of your love or what not. People do that sort of thing all the time.


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craziness
post Jun 17 2004, 01:36 AM
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im 14 and there is a 19 year old guy who wants to go out with me. i said no because for me thats just too bizzare. i mean, why would he want to go out with someone so much younger. i think hes kind of weird. hes making me feel really bad about it but i dont want to deal with the many issues it will bring such as it being ILLEGAL and plus id feel like a huge skank and plus telling my family??? definitly staying just friends. but if your 17 and hes 22, your both more adult, and i think its ok. plus, its only illegal for a few more months. (for me its only illegal for what....4 years?) laugh.gif


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Aislinn Faye
post Jun 23 2004, 02:26 AM
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mwha!! I have told my mother. My cousin's husband said it was the best. And we were both getting stressed from hiding it. I told my mom that I kinda liked him and I thought he kinda liked me. She said "you're dating him.. I knew you would." then I asked her if she would be okay with the idea, she asked how old he was, and then she said "no." But my loving brother stood up for me and she's okay with it. But she did say "If I find out you guys are having sex, I'll have him arrested and break both his legs, and he'll have a hard time finding a job." Kinda pissed me off, because she didn't need to say that, plus she doesn't take my vow seriously. Buuut...I did tell her, and she didn't flip. Now I can't wait to tell my dad. laugh.gif biggrin.gif laugh.gif biggrin.gif -=is happy=- laugh.gif biggrin.gif laugh.gif


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Aria
post Jun 23 2004, 03:02 AM
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Wow, that's great. I'm glad things worked out. smile.gif


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TigerLily013
post Jun 23 2004, 03:44 AM
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Ah yes, the father's reaction will probably be a real pip as well. Good luck to you.


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marmalade
post Jun 25 2004, 10:38 AM
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that's nothing, i know some-one who at the age of 16 was going out with a 12 year old! dry.gif


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Aislinn Faye
post Jun 25 2004, 09:29 PM
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Mwha.. I have also told my dad.. over the phone, I couldn't not tell him any longer. I told him that I met a guy, bla bla bla. And he's like "Ohh.. how old is he?" And I told him that he was 22, and ofcourse he said no. But I didn't get upset, I just told him that I want him to meet Jeremy, and he said that he would, and I asked him to meet him...with no prejudice, and he said fine. So... when dad comes down, he's gonna meet him. happy.gif And this whole time I thought I had something major to worry about, I guess honesty is the best policy.


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