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> Are You Self-concious?, Be it for any reason.
Righteous
post Jun 18 2004, 11:01 PM
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I've been thinking for a while about the way I look. Not in a vain sort of way, but from an objective point of view. I realized how self-concious I am. I'm really short and it gets to me when people notice it. I'm also very...wide, even if you discredit the fact that I'm fat. I also have acne even though I am out out of adolescence. I also stutter sometimes, espacially when I'm nervous and because of my illness, my hands shake, a lot. This makes going out of the house a bit scary sometimes. I know I shouldn't really worry about it, but I do. I feel like people are going to look at me and say something like, "Look at him. He's goofy looking." or something.

What about you guys?


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Silver Star Ange...
post Jun 18 2004, 11:04 PM
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I know what you mean. I guess I'd consider myself self-conscious. I'm always worrying if I'm too fat...though I'm told i'm not. I also worry if my hair is nice, and, to say it bluntly, I'm pretty enough. On the self esteem chart, 10 being the best, i'm a 1.


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acid_rain_child
post Jun 18 2004, 11:16 PM
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Awww, honey! No one should be self conscious. The way I see it, when I walk out of my door and go to some public place, for instance the mall (I actually very rarely go to the mall) I just think "No one here will remember me in 5 minutes." I mean, think of it this way: Have you ever looked at someone walking down the street and gone "The hell is he wearing?" or something along those lines? Of course you have, everyone has! But do you distinctly remember every one of those people? No. And will you ever see them again? Probably not.

That's why I can go somewhere without brushing my hair or getting particularly dressed up (*cough* pj's) or putting on any sort of make up because I don't care. No one will remember you and chances are, they won't even notice you in the first place.


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"As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes sh*t to make bliss,
Well I feel pretty blissfully."
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Righteous
post Jun 18 2004, 11:33 PM
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Well, aside from those points, I don't care about how I look. I think I've been embracing my haggardness as a way to overcome my self-conciousness. I enjoy my haggard clothes, haggard beard and haggard-ass black jean jacket (the safely blanket to my Linus). I mean, yeah I worry sometimes, but I'm doing my best to overcome.

It's really bad when you're single and you want to pick up chicks (well, for me at least). I'm always afraid the chick'll look at me and think "eww," or not dig me because I'm not old enough for her or something (I've known 17-year-olds who won't date guys younger than 21). That's one good thing about having a girlfriend; you don't have to worry so much.

And ARC, I know guys who do notice that stuff. I'll be someplace with the guys then all-of-a-sudden, Bob'll be like, "Dude, look at that chick!" Then point out some minor flaw in her appearence. I personally don't care, but the guys sure do and it's cats like Bob and the guys that cause people to be self-concious, though they aren't as bad as others I've met. dry.gif I recall once while I was dating Harmonie my friend Brandon asking, "Hey, who was that fat chick I saw you with this morning?" My girlfriend." "..."

And don't be so hard on yourself, Angel. I was once like that and I turned out okay looking (I'm decent from the neck up). And I even found a chick who's crazy enough to think I'm attractive.


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MoonlightSavings...
post Jun 18 2004, 11:42 PM
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QUOTE (acid_rain_child @ Jun 18 2004, 04:16 PM)
The way I see it, when I walk out of my door and go to some public place, for instance the mall (I actually very rarely go to the mall) I just think "No one here will remember me in 5 minutes."

That may be true, but the part that bugs me most is being self-conscious around the people that I see regularly, such as at work and stuff. That's the thing that bugs me. I'm always feeling out of place.

I feel self-conscious about my teeth sometimes. A couple of my front teeth (not "the" front teeth, but the ones next to them -- the secondary incisors) never grew in fully properly, and one of them is still actually a baby tooth that was never replaced by an adult tooth. So sometimes I feel kind of self-conscious about that, even though I don't let it keep me from smiling when I want. I also don't like my nose. And I don't like the way my face looks in profile.

The one thing I'm most self-conscious about, though, is the fact that I never really talk. Every time I'm in some sort of social situation or work environment, I feel excessively self-conscious about the fact that I can never think of anything to say and can't seem to answer the simplest questions. Sometimes I even give the wrong answer to people's questions by accident, because I just can't think straight. I'm extremely introverted and shy, I'm absolutely horrible in social situations, and my lack of conversation with people I've been working with for months always makes people notice me more for it, and that makes me feel extremely self-conscious. Also, because I don't do well in social situations, my brain simply can't seem to keep up with the everything going on around me, so sometimes I feel like I do completely stupid things that no one else could have done in the same situation. For instance, on one temp job that I worked, I was answering phones for some organization, and any time that I would get more than one or two phone calls on the multi-line phone, my brain would freeze up, and I would start sending the callers to the wrong extensions repeatedly, so the calls would only end up bouncing right back to me and everyone would be confused and frustrated.

I feel like such an idiot sometimes... If I never had to answer a phone again, I could die blissfully happy.

I also have a bit of a stuttering problem when I'm nervous. Answering phones was bad enough when I couldn't even send callers to the right extension, but what made things worse was that I could hardly pronounce the simplest words when talking to them. Sometimes I'd just cut them off and send them to their designated extension because I simply couldn't get the words out of my mouth. It feels like I'm chewing on cotton all day.


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And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
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And how should I presume?
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spiffilicious05
post Jun 19 2004, 12:32 AM
Post #6


Empowe(red)
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Aw, well, I love you just the way that you are. I think it's your flaws that make you completely perfect. laugh.gif

Without them, you just wouldn't be you. happy.gif and that's a bad thing...very bad


anyways, you of all people should know this --- am I self concious??

YES!!!!


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The longest shadows ever cast
The water's warm and children swim
And we frolicked about in our summer skin


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acid_rain_child
post Jun 19 2004, 01:40 AM
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I'm not self conscious because I have very high self esteem, and my ego is way out of proportion. I mean, I probably shouldn't think so much of myself, I'm no prize, but I do.
I know that some people sit there and remember every fat chick that walks by, but my response to that is the bird. The dipsh*ts that are doing that are not the kind of people I want as boyfriends, man. And granted, I do quite a bit of judging myself, but I don't lose sleep over it. I don't nitpick over every person who walks by. I judge the teenie boppers- but damned if I didn't try to make them friends. It just didn't work... they're too difficult to be around. Anyway, you have to be confident.

And as far as classmates and coworkers go, make sure they get to know you before they can make a judgment on your appearance. I mean, everyone in my class knows me, whether they like me or not. But at least I gave them the chance to like me, it was up to them to decide I'm not their type. Best of all, they didn't judge me because I don't brush my hair or have ganky nails, they judged me on my personality. At the risk of sounding super corny, it's on the inside that counts, and I feel it is my duty to make people realize that under my ganky nails and rat's nest hair, there's a half way decent person.
Okay, I'm done my pep talk.


--------------------
"As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes sh*t to make bliss,
Well I feel pretty blissfully."
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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Jun 19 2004, 12:21 PM
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well, my size tends to make me stick out quite a bit, i swear people look at me lots....dunno why, but i'm pretty sure i'm not imagining it, i went to london with a friend to a fur meet, its was a pretty good day, but i spent a lot of the day with the feeling that people were looking at me, i told my friend on the train home, he laughed and said a lot of them were looking at me (for various reasons), see? i'm not crazy! they really were all looking at me! tongue.gif


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He's a freak of nature, but we love him so.
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Righteous
post Jun 19 2004, 03:35 PM
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Shut up, noob!
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My brother Rick and his band's drummer and I were all chilling last night/early this morning when Rick rought up something that gets to me sometimes: My exes. For various reason I feel, well I wouldn't go as far as to say ashamed, but close, for dating some of them. Rick was having a field day on me. We had a convo that went similar to this:

"Why the Hell do you date these fat ugly girls?"
"Not every chick I've dated is ugly, dumbass."
"Yeah, but what about (names some of my ugly exgirlfriends)?"
"Okay, yeah they were, but what about (name some of my hot exgirlfriends)?"
"Well, name one chick you've slept with that wasn't fat by our standards. Okay (names one) wasn't fat but she was ugly as sh*t."
"Well, what about (names two)?"
"...I thought you said (names one) was fat?"
"Hell no!"
"...Oh."

I have to live with this.


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With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end.


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acid_rain_child
post Jun 19 2004, 03:42 PM
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Yourr friends are pricks, dude. I'm not kidding. No offense to your friends, but if you're sittin around and the best conversation he can come up with is, "Why do you only date fat ugly chicks?" then you need to find some new friends. What if you LIKE sleeping with fat chicks? There are people like that. Do guys sit there and rate their friend's girlfriends? And maybe, instead of making fun of you for your seemingly fat and oogly girlfriends, he can try to hook you up with some slim pretty chicks. And who is HE to talk?


--------------------
"As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes sh*t to make bliss,
Well I feel pretty blissfully."
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Aria
post Jun 19 2004, 04:40 PM
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Confused. Very Very Confused.
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Oh, absolutely. I think I'm fat. Which is true to some extent--I am overweight, but I guess I probably don't look as bad as I think.


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In your misery
You're not alone
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Righteous
post Jun 19 2004, 04:41 PM
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Shut up, noob!
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QUOTE (acid_rain_child @ Jun 19 2004, 11:42 AM)
Yourr friends are pricks, dude. I'm not kidding. No offense to your friends, but if you're sittin around and the best conversation he can come up with is, "Why do you only date fat ugly chicks?" then you need to find some new friends.


We have better conversations. We were just talking about chicks we've dated and then Rick started ripping on me. We do that to eachother a lot so it's not a malicious thing.

QUOTE
What if you LIKE sleeping with fat chicks? There are people like that.


I personally like to sleep with the women I love and some just happen to be soft. I would like to that I have a dork fetish, though. wink.gif

QUOTE
Do guys sit there and rate their friend's girlfriends?


...Yeah.

QUOTE
And maybe, instead of making fun of you for your seemingly fat and oogly girlfriends, he can try to hook you up with some slim pretty chicks. And who is HE to talk?


Well, I do date a pretty slim chick so there goes that. As for Rick, his hot-girlfriend-to-ugly-girlfriend ratio is a lot better than mine. Plus, to him, his girlfriend is the hottest thing in the world.


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With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end.


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EvilSpork
post Jun 19 2004, 05:33 PM
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I have low self esteem and therefore I'm extremely self concious... For everything about myself.
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Guest_Fandangohead676_*
post Jun 19 2004, 06:22 PM
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Im not as self consious as i used to be but i still am cuz i talk really really fast and slurr my words. and when im around a cute guy i just act really dumb but besids that i dont care what ppl think about me
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Tomoyo
post Jun 19 2004, 11:28 PM
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QUOTE (acid_rain_child @ Jun 19 2004, 12:16 AM)
The way I see it, when I walk out of my door and go to some public place, for instance the mall (I actually very rarely go to the mall) I just think "No one here will remember me in 5 minutes." I mean, think of it this way: Have you ever looked at someone walking down the street and gone "The hell is he wearing?" or something along those lines? Of course you have, everyone has! But do you distinctly remember every one of those people? No. And will you ever see them again? Probably not.

I"ve been really self-conscious for as long as I can remeber. When I was younger, I did have all these riduculous fears that everyone was watching me and judging me. Now I realize that most of these fears are unreasonable--I
know that most people I pass by in the mall won't remember me--but being self-conscious has become so deeply ingrained in my mind that it's really hard to break the habit. I'm getting better about not worrying about what people think of me, but I still have a lot of work to do.


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Snugglebum the D...
post Jun 20 2004, 12:26 AM
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On the whole I'm really confident - mainly because I really don't care what people think of me. If I meet new people and they don't like what they get then it's really unlikely that I'm going to meet them again and therefore doesn't matter.

I get a little itchy about my body shape but that's only due to the fact that my body is completely different to what it was before I had a child (after 23 years of accepting what I am - to suddenly find that my body does different stuff is a little diffecult!). But, I'll get used to it. biggrin.gif

My outlook is that you have approxiamtely 75 years on this planet, in the grand scheme of things what you look like is so irrelevant - you might as well enjoy what you have, when you have it and not fret about it.


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LoLo
post Jun 20 2004, 02:20 AM
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I'm extrodinarily self concious. Sometimes it may not come off that way with the whole, I do what I want, wear what I want and don't care schtick.

Truth is for perfect strangers and people I dislike I could give a rats ass what they think of me, and so yes doing what I want and not caring is partially true.

Where it gets me is with people that I know and like being around, or when I'm meeting new people for the first time. Take for example yesterday when I met Phoenix in person for the first time. I had to find the right outfit to wear that looked like me but didn't look completely horrible. I was very aware of myself when I was eating (I hate having people watch me eat) and really didn't like the fact that a piece of burger fell on my chest while eating. I was so nervous about what she might think of me not only how I looked, but how I acted that I ended up smoking an entire pack of ciggies. When I met Moonlightsavingstime and her bf Shuilong, the same thing happened.

For the most part when I'm in social situations where I don't know people and I'm concerned what they're going to think of me I can hardly find it in me to even talk. For the most part I just sit back and wait for someone to talk to me and see if I can happen to say anything back. Most of the time I'm so worried that I'm going to say something stupid, or try to be funny and not have it be that way, that I just won't talk at all.

Edit: Sometimes I wonder if meeting people off the internet makes me so worried because of something one of my friends said about another person. He met her in real life and his first thing said to me when he was telling me about the visit was, "She's fat. I didn't think she was fat." That devistated me and even though I really want to meet this particular friend in person, it makes me really nervous to ever do it. It also makes me nervous to meet people from the internet because I think that may be their first impression of me. I don't mind if people I meet off the net realize that I am fat, it's just the whole thing about it being the first thing said once they talk to other people about it. In fact I would love some back up from the people on these forums that know me in person, so that no one else who may meet me in the future will get their expectations up.

Meeting new people that aren't from the internet isn't any easier, even though they know from the get go that I am in fact fat. It's the talking and finding something to relate to. Once people get to know me though those things don't come into my mind as much. More of it is just hoping that I can stay as "cool" as they may think I am in their mind (despite my total lack of coolness) and that makes it hard too.

This post has been edited by LoLo: Jun 20 2004, 02:51 AM


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Fluffy
post Jun 20 2004, 02:47 AM
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I suppose I could be considered self-concious in some ways. First of all, I'm hard on myself on how horrible I am in any kind of real life social situation (luckily my peers are a kind bunch). Also, I hate how I sometimes just crack and become cynical, sarcastic, and angry (which is the thing I hate most about myself) (my closer friends and I have very different maturity levels, and I can't count how many times I've explained that lighters aren't meant to be played with, it's usually only times like that that it happens). The last thing I can think of is that I am by no means funny at all. I only manage to make people laugh when my inherent clumsiness takes over ("Shh, my parents are asleep." *5 feet later* *CRASH!!!* "Oops!" (true story))). Oh, and I don't like how my excessive paleness on contrast to my excessively dark hair makes me look gothic (nothing against goths, it's just that I'm almost exactly opposite gothishynessism). So, er, I guess that's all.


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Sarah the Spider
post Jun 20 2004, 03:44 AM
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Occassionally in public, I'll just start thinking, "You know what would be awesome right now? A desert island. Yes."

I'm introverted to a scary point, though I'm really open with some good friends. I always think what I say is dumb, or that I smile too long at some stranger to be polite or that I'm eating something the wrong way, etc. etc. A lot of people who end up talking to me for one reason or another confess to me that they thought I hated them for a long time, because I never talked when they were around. No--just shy. The worst thing I am self-conscious about is ending a visit/conversation/whatever. It's always so horribly awkward for me, even if it's just hanging up a phone.


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MistressAlti
post Jun 20 2004, 04:24 AM
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I'm fat. I always have been, always will be. It will bother me until the end of time. Whenever I meet people, I wonder if they think all I do is eat chocolate all day. I hate hate hate hate hate eating in front of people, because if I eat healthy stuff it looks like I'm dieting, if I eat unhealthy stuff it feels like I'm getting "You Made Yourself That Way" looks the entire time.

There's some personality stuff as well, but nothing I'm going to really get into.
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monkey_called_na...
post Jun 20 2004, 10:55 AM
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im not really all that self concious, i realise that im fat and that im probibly going to be fat for the rest of my life, but i try not to let it infulance who i am just because its what i am. people will like me if they like me and if they hate me thats just fine as well... it slightly give and take a bit...


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acid_rain_child
post Jun 20 2004, 11:07 AM
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QUOTE
For the most part when I'm in social situations where I don't know people and I'm concerned what they're going to think of me I can hardly find it in me to even talk. For the most part I just sit back and wait for someone to talk to me and see if I can happen to say anything back. Most of the time I'm so worried that I'm going to say something stupid, or try to be funny and not have it be that way, that I just won't talk at all.


Aww, it sounds like you're more shy than self conscious.

About the meeting people on the internet thing- I told someone this before but I don't remember who- I picture everyone to look like their avatars. That is, people that have faces and stuff for avs. Once I saw my own really late at night and went "That chick has really pretty eyes!" So, if I ever saw somebody in real life, I wouldn't expect anything. I'm a simple creature really.

I went to some 7 year old birthday party yesterday, it was my step-cousin's party. It was a bowling party, and bowling brings back horrific memories for me, so I decided to sit with the parents for a while. I realized I was very self conscious about my boobs. I have a small D, which is pretty large for a 14 year old, and the whole time I was around these yuppy parents I was trying to keep them unnoticable. Around these yuppy parents, I was trying very hard to keep my manners in tip top shape, even so to the point where I was the last one to finish eating by 10 minutes. But my attempts were in vain. I turned to one of the mothers while watching a little girl and said, "That girl shouldn't be eating cake and 3 ice cream sandwitches, she'll be up all night!" The mother's reply was, "Oh, is she yours? She's cute." I nearly died. I had worn a crappy bra and sat up straight the whole night, only to be recognized as a... FELLOW YUPPY PARENT! But that's not what bothered me, I was really only trying to make a good impression, that I was raised properly and that I was a good kid, when in reality half the parents probably thought I was some 22 year old with a 7 year old kid.


--------------------
"As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes sh*t to make bliss,
Well I feel pretty blissfully."
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Aislinn Faye
post Jun 20 2004, 05:17 PM
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I used to be really self-concious. I felt like I needed to have a guy to make me feel pretty, and I would mold myself to fit them so I wouldn't lose them. And I used to be really self concious about my thighs, and my legs in general. I dunno what happened, but sense like May, I've been treating myself alot better, I spent alot of time by myself,without my friends putting in their two cents. and I got to "know myself", and I like myself now. My best friend Jammie, told me that she looked up to me because I was so confident, but back then, I was a scared little girl on the inside. I also used to be really shy in social situations, but, I dunno, what helps me is I always start with a strong handshake.

Also, this crap about girlfriends and boyfriends. I stopped smoking for my last ex, and another ex, I quit varsity vollyball when I was a freshman. You should never change yourself for someone you like romantically. Bleh, like with me dating non-smokers. If they don't like me smoking, then they shouldn't have started dating me, that's what I tell this one (Now, I'm not a complete bitch, I always have gum and breathmints). Gah, all I'm saying is that if you date someone and change yourself, you'll feel worse about yourself, but if you tell them to muck off or to deal with it because that's you, you seriously feel so much better about yourself.


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"I can kill catering with a thought!" - Darth Vader
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MoonlightSavings...
post Jun 20 2004, 08:35 PM
Post #24


I have measured out my life with coffee spoons
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QUOTE (acid_rain_child @ Jun 20 2004, 04:07 AM)
I had worn a crappy bra and sat up straight the whole night, only to be recognized as a... FELLOW YUPPY PARENT! But that's not what bothered me, I was really only trying to make a good impression, that I was raised properly and that I was a good kid, when in reality half the parents probably thought I was some 22 year old with a 7 year old kid.

I have the opposite problem, which makes me self-conscious and embarrassed as all hell. I'm nearly 24, but everyone still seems to think I'm a teenager. Even worse is that, for every year I age, I seem to physically lose another year. Three years ago I was getting carded when buying alcohol because, as the clerks kept telling me, I didn't look a day older than 16. Now I seem to be inadvertently fooling people into believing that I'm 14 and therefore not old enough to get most jobs. This happened again just yesterday when I tried to get a job application. I could hardly convince the clerk that I was old enough to work there, especially when I told her I'm a whole decade older than what she thought I was. She seemed absolutely incredulous and only reluctantly told me how to apply. This type of situation just makes me lose even more of my self-confidence -- to be spoken down to by some 16-year-old for not looking like I'm old enough to work at some crummy store. I hate having this face anymore. sad.gif


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And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?
~T.S. Eliot, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"
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artist.unknown
post Jun 20 2004, 10:52 PM
Post #25


sesquipedalian
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From: der Mond
Member No.: 915
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People tend to think I'm older than I really am, which I foresee as being much more irritating when I'm 30 than it is now in my teens. Mostly though I don't care what other people think about my appearance, especially the way I dress. Is my hair brushed? I don't know. (Where is my hairbrush anyway? When did I see it last? Why does the screen look so red? Wait, that's my hair.) Otherwise it depends on the situation. If I'm holding a conversation with a large group I'm extremely self-conscious and stuttery and horrible about making eye contact, because I can't read group dynamics. But one-on-one, or public speaking or wotnot, I'm usually just fine. Caffeine helps.


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-Grammar Nazi-quotes of the yesterday
It is only in his work that an artist can find reality and satisfaction, for the actual world is less intense than the world of his invention and consequently his life, without recourse to violent disorder, does not seem very substantial. -Tennessee Williams
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