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> Adopt A Dace, cute, cuddly and ready to usurp!
Tarantio
post Jun 30 2004, 12:11 AM
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Due to large levels of stress, anger and general lack of usurpation in the world today, Dace and I have decided to begin putting up other, similarly Dace-like creatures for Matazoners everywhere. Just send a post this way and give a few pointers as to what your dark side might need, and Dace and I will see what we can find from amongst the legions of hell, just for you! wink.gif


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When, will I, will I be famous?

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Aislinn Faye
post Jun 30 2004, 12:48 AM
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My cute little Aislinn!
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Uhh.. don't fully understand.. but yeah, I can always edit. I assume I get minions who fit my evil personality to help me take over the world. Well now.. I want ones with hardcore shoe throwing action when I'm pissed. And to be able to keep a straight face when lying. Also, I want 'em to have PMS powers. And an Anti- Belinda barrier to protect me while at the same time inflicting child neglected sting rays at her. Yeah.. unsure.gif something along those lines. I have a feeling I did this wrong. sad.gif


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gothictheysay
post Jun 30 2004, 12:50 AM
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Oooh!

My creature will have a blatant disregard for others! Dig up the most selfish demon you can find. I usually spend a lot of time trying not to be selfish. TO HECK WITH IT! Anyways. This creature will also be terribly uncivil and none of the stresses of the real world would apply - grades, expanding waistline, etc. It will be very spiteful - Oh LORD how I love to spite! rolleyes.gif

I think that's all. ph34r.gif Thank you.


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Tarantio
post Jun 30 2004, 01:08 AM
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WELL, WE DO HAVE COUSIN GEORGE...

I knew the very first one you tried to flog would be cousin bloody george, Dace. put some effort in and try not to give away the ones you hate the most.

OH ALRIGHT... -PUTS COUSIN GEORGE BACK IN HIS HOLE-

RIGHT, SELFISH AND UNCOMPROMISINGLY BASTARDLY... WELL, THERE IS OLD BEORN DOWN IN THE THIRD PIT. HE LIVES ALONE WITH THIRY THOUSAND CATS OF VARIOUS TYPES AND TENDS NOT TO HAVE ANYTHING LOANED TO HIM, UE TO THE FACT THAT HE STILL OWES THE PRINCE OF DEMONS HIS LIBRARY CARD FROM 876BC. HE TALKS FUNNY, SORT OF A WHINING, BLOODY SORT OF CHANT WITH LITTLE PUNCTUATION EXCEPT EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!, WHICH TERRY PRATCHETT SAYS IS A SURE SIGN OF MADNESS.

-GOES TO FETCH-

WELL, HERE YOU ARE GOTHICTHEYSAY. ONE DEMON COMPLETE WITH HIS OWN DISTINCT... UH... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING ANYWAY, BEORN?

ITS A PIKE, YOU IDIOT!!! IT HAS THE HEADS OF THIRTEEN HUNDRED CENTIPEDES ON IT!!!

nuff sed, really.

so, next up is the request for a group package from Aislinn Faye. Dace?

I TAKE IT SELLING MY MOTHER IS OUT HERE?

again? didn't u do that before?

ONLY ONCE. SHE HAS MORE THAN ONE IMMORTAL SOUL, YOU KNOW, AND SHE IS A VERY ANGRY WOMAN. THING. DEMON. WHATEVER.

RIGHT, A PMS AND SHOE ARMED HORDE, EH? I CAN TRY GOING TO THE UNDERWORLD HAIR SALONS, BUT I CAN'T GUARANTEE I'LL RETURN WHOLE. HANG ON I'LL GO SEE WHERE ELSE I CAN GO FOR THIS.

RIGHT, WELL THERE SEEM TO BE ENTIRE HELLS DEVOTED TO THIS GROUP OF DEMON-GODDESSES THAT ALL SEEM TO BE CALLED BARBARA. THE ONLY OTHER INHABITANTS OF THESE PLACES ARE MEN, AND IF YOU EVER ASK ME TO GO BACK THERE FOR MORE I MAY JUST HAVE TO FIND A NEW HOST. THEY TRULY ARE RATHER SCARY. I DID MANAGE TO ROUND UP HALF A DOZEN OR SO OF THESE BARBARAS THOUGH, SO LETS HEAR FROM THEM...

WELL I NEVER, YOUNG MAN, AND TO THINK YOUR MOTHER WAS A RESPECTABLE DEMON WITH PROSPECTS FOR A FUTURE AND EYES ON A WHOLE CIRCLE TO HERSELF. THEN COMES ALONG YOUNG DACE AND SPOILS EVERYTHING FOR HER FAMILY AND MAKES HER UNLIFE AN UNLIVING HEAVEN...
-DACE DUCKS A SHOE AT THIS POINT, IT BEING ABOUT TWENTY FEET LONG AND SPIKED-

QUICK, TAKE THEM PLEASE!

okay well, I hope thats some satisfied customers... keep em coming.


--------------------
When, will I, will I be famous?

I CAN'T ANSWER THAT, I CAN'T ANSWER THAT.

-Tara and DACE sing is available from DACETRON ltd.
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Pab
post Jun 30 2004, 01:27 AM
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Has been kidnapped by gerbils and forced to post on here repeatedly
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Well ... ermmm .. I could handle a demon to take care of my IRC sessions after 2am ... He needs to be cruel, but fair, and be able to change nicks real quick ... alos, if he could do the dishes it'd be real nice ... Oh and I need him to wake me up in the morning. He can be a she ... in fact might as well be ... under 30 foot tall would be a plus, and a tolerence for the bizarre is almost required ...


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Tarantio
post Jun 30 2004, 01:35 AM
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HMM. THIS ONE'S A LITTLE DIFFICULT. I THINK YOU MAY HAVE TO SETTLE FOR AN IMP, AS WE USUALLY HAVE THEM DOING THE DISHES FOR US. ALSO, THEY HAVE PRETTY GOOD TIMEKEEPING SKILLS, AND THERE'S NOTHING TO GET YOU UP IN THE MORNING LIKE AN IMP SHOUTING IN YOUR EAR OVER AND OVER AND OVER...

just go get one then, Dace, and make sure it has the latenight extra added features on it.

ALRIGHT, THIS PUNY THING IS JIMMY. WE TRIED TO COUNCIL IT ON THE NAME, BUT IT TRULY IS BEYOND ALL HOPE, SO WE SET IT TO WORK ON THE NIGHTSHIFT FOR THE LAST FEW HUNDRED YEARS. WORKS WONDERS FOR THE EYESIGHT, APPARRENTLY, AND ALSO REDUCES NAGGING DUE TO LATE NIGHT TIREDNESS, CONVERTING IT INTO A THOROUGHLY DEMORALISING TIRADE OF GENTEEL EXPRESSIONS AND SLIMY COMMENTS ON PEOPLE'S ATTITUDE. OVER TO JIMMY:

well, i'm jimmy, as the beast here put it. I have a tendence to nattle on for countless hours about nothing in particular, but just for you I can recount the last hundred and seventy five years accounts for seven layers of hell day by day. so, starting from the beginning...

OK I THINK THATS ENOUGH FROM YOU. -HANDS TO PAB- KEEP HIM LOCKED UP, FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THE UNIVERSES, PLEASE. IT SHOULD BE SAFE TO UNLEASH HIM ON IRC THOUGH...


--------------------
When, will I, will I be famous?

I CAN'T ANSWER THAT, I CAN'T ANSWER THAT.

-Tara and DACE sing is available from DACETRON ltd.
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gothictheysay
post Jun 30 2004, 02:13 AM
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We are a very happy customer. Er, I mean...

I'M SURPRISED YOU GOT TO ME FIRST!!! I DESERVE IT YOU KNOW!! KEEP IT UP AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU SLACKING!!

Sort of like that. biggrin.gif


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MistressAlti
post Jun 30 2004, 02:32 AM
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ever-hopeful since 2003
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I want a Dace.
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PsychWardMike
post Jun 30 2004, 02:33 AM
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Do me. I dare you.


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Tarantio
post Jun 30 2004, 03:24 AM
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ok missy, I know sorta what type I should get for you... but mike, your gonna need to gimme a few more details on your dark side for dace.

OK, SO JUST ONE TRIP FOR MISSY THEN. FOR THIS IM GONNA NEED SOME VERY OLD ROADS, ONES THAT LEAD TO DEEP, DARK PLACES. BUT I SHOULD BE BACK MOMENTARILY.

WELL, HERE I AM AGAIN. (DACE HAS A LITTLE BLACK BUNDLE OVER HIS BACK) I BROUGHT THIS FROM...UHH... -CHECKS TAG- THE MAGICAL WORLD OF LAS VEGAS. IT SEEMED TO KNOW YOU ALREADY. I THINK ITS NAME IS BLINK, THOUGH THAT SEEMS TO BE DEBATEABLE. OR ARGUABLE. OR SOMETHING LIKE IT ANYWAY. ANYWAY, LETS HEAR FROM HIM...HER....IT?

i am blink, one with the wonderful paranoia that is the underlying darkness of rachael. I have existed since the beginning, from the very moment that she allowed her mind to be subjected to the inner hells. I whisper quietly to her in those dark moments when people are talking to her, or about her. I cause her ears to burn, her head to throb with pain and distrust. I am, and will always be.

SO. UHM. YEAH. KEEP HIM. PLEASE.


--------------------
When, will I, will I be famous?

I CAN'T ANSWER THAT, I CAN'T ANSWER THAT.

-Tara and DACE sing is available from DACETRON ltd.
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eternallybored
post Jun 30 2004, 03:36 PM
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the avatars weren't working again
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At one point everyone I knew swore I had an alternate personality...

Anyway, my demon must have the ability to scale tall buildings and break in through windows. He/it must also have a very hideously deformed face and/or the ability to change shape. Could he come dressed in liederhosen?


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PsychWardMike
post Jul 2 2004, 02:24 AM
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I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
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What are you talking about?


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eternallybored
post Jul 2 2004, 02:26 AM
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the avatars weren't working again
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QUOTE (Aislinn Faye @ Jun 30 2004, 01:48 AM)
Uhh.. don't fully understand.. but yeah, I can always edit. I assume I get minions who fit my evil personality to help me take over the world. Well now.. I want ones with hardcore shoe throwing action when I'm pissed. And to be able to keep a straight face when lying. Also, I want 'em to have PMS powers. And an Anti- Belinda barrier to protect me while at the same time inflicting child neglected sting rays at her. Yeah.. unsure.gif something along those lines. I have a feeling I did this wrong. sad.gif

Same thing. Dunno what I'm talking about.


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>(|||>
currently one of the four flourish freaks! Hazzah for me!
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The Tortured Sou...
post Jul 3 2004, 10:25 PM
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before i get started i have a terrible memory but correct me if i'm wrong i thought dace was an alternate personallity not a demon, be since your dishing out demons, here goes!!! i've kinda gone 4 a mix of alternat personallity and demon as it will kinda account 4 some of my personallity traits...

ok i have a preoccupation with fire (as you can tell by my cider fairy and vodka imp) so she should be able to produce flame, not just breath it, that gets boring, but just like produce it with her hands and eyes and every imaginable methond of making fire!!! i decided she should be a she, as i'm bi the reson i like guys is coz shes a girl, i also decided she should be very attractive and seductive (as i have a low self esteem, this is coz she is so goddamn fine she puts me to shame tongue.gif ) also just general powers i'd like her to have, the ablity to walk through shadows, in other words she enters a shadow and can exit anywhere she likes as long as there is a shadow there... and kinky-ness is always good, she always has a whip at her side if she ever gets bored of burning her chosen victim tongue.gif yesh she seduces other ppl (not me) to torture them tongue.gif

ok i guess that will do biggrin.gif


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Signature now edited for my new forum life

WOOOHOOO i am e-engaged to the beautiful GothicTheySay

my little minion DoRmAnT she will do my bidding and be protected by my faires

my faires are, My cider fairy Pyromissy and my Vodka Imp Pyriem

Woo i got a funky signature thingy

user posted image
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Ashbless
post Jul 19 2004, 11:13 PM
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I could have written a short novel by this point
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Kudos on giving the demons a proper airing in the world above.

Don't really need one myself as I have a cat. One dose of kitty opera at 3am and I'm sure you'll agree.
Go forth furball and cause havoc amongst the dust bunnies!!!


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IPB ImageIPB ImageIPB ImageIPB ImageIPB Image

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. - SpeakertotheLost
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eleraama
post Jul 27 2004, 03:35 PM
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There is glass between us...!
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Ooh, I need one.. further tools for world domination... I need something incredibly cute and fuzzy looking but insatiably evil, like Gremlins or the Tubb-tubbs. Wings would be good, but I'm looking for something fuzzy, not humanoid... Oh, and it has to be entirely loyal to me and love to be with me. Claws, fangs and glowing red eyes a plus.


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"Hell is... other people." No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre.
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mooooooooooopo
post Jul 27 2004, 05:40 PM
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: P>
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Oooh, ooh, ooh, demon me please?

My dark side will duct tape things without consideration for anything, be slightly (or completely) insane, probably stay up to hours of unholy lateness, and also a fondness for lurking on IRC in utter silence. The ability to smoothly descend from rafters in a batlike manner would be a bonus.

Think you can find me one Tarantio?

*awaits eagerly*


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I am Candice's asw emo e-husband, real life actual husband and all around awesome person, Funked)Out_Frogg's e-paramour. Snugglebum's harem slave. Candice and gothictheysay are my e-pimps.
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PsychWardMike
post Jul 27 2004, 11:39 PM
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I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
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Fine. My dark side. I usually just think of me with an evil looking goatee. I'll try to be a little more creative.

I do have a good friend that would be oh so nice. Well, a few. The first is a small blue monkey, clad in a black tee shirt and pants. He has a nice flowing black trench coat in which he conceals two hand guns. Across his back, he carries a sword, small and elegant, Japanese in style. He has a small silver cross on a chain and sun glasses and is an outrageous chain smoker. He's the muscle.

The brains behind the [evil] operation is a penguin wearing a monacle and top hat. He speaks with a charming British accent, and can often found playing cards with a group of other equally diabolicle men (Bill Gates, Micheal Eisner... etc.) Normally not found without a his walking stick (which doubles as a sword or gun) and a glass of Brandy, he doesn't come on many missions.


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gothictheysay
post Jul 28 2004, 12:06 AM
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living in your basement, eating your candy hearts
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I BEAT YOUR PENGUIN TODAY AT POKER!!! ACE HIGH STRAIGHT!!! AND THEN I ATE HIS CARDS AND BELCHED THEM BACK UP AT HIM!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

/alternate-personality spam

WHAT?!!! MY OPINION IS HIGHLY VALUED!!!! YOU SHALL NEVER USE THAT WORD IN ADDRESSING ME!!!

*Blinks innocently*


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Being corrupted by candice since 2004
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Tarantio
post Aug 8 2004, 06:19 AM
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NyanNyanNyan
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QUOTE (moop @ Jul 27 2004, 05:40 PM)
Oooh, ooh, ooh, demon me please?

My dark side will duct tape things without consideration for anything, be slightly (or completely) insane, probably stay up to hours of unholy lateness, and also a fondness for lurking on IRC in utter silence. The ability to smoothly descend from rafters in a batlike manner would be a bonus.

Think you can find me one Tarantio?

*awaits eagerly*
*


forgive both the late night/drunk reply and the unread/ignored other replies, but i had to respond to this in the only way i found suitable. I hereby grant upon u, moop, the alti-title of dayan. You may have described the boy better than I could have. Oh, and as an aside, I'm still not back yet... sad.gif


--------------------
When, will I, will I be famous?

I CAN'T ANSWER THAT, I CAN'T ANSWER THAT.

-Tara and DACE sing is available from DACETRON ltd.
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SPEAKERfortheLOS...
post Aug 31 2004, 12:42 AM
Post #21


Transdimensional Traveler
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Wanted Ad in my local newspaper:

Looking for Lesser Daemon to take care of my little daughter. Needs to be well qualified in the art of torture, domination, and Proper Toilet Training. Call 666-4968 ask for margie.


--------------------
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.


Jack of all trades, master of none,
though offtimes better than master of one.

Carpe Noctem, pro cras nos necemus
Carpe Diem, pro hodie nos mutiamo

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PsychWardMike
post Aug 31 2004, 12:53 AM
Post #22


I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
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I really like my monkey, but his sense of humor has been pissing me off lately. He's taken to calling himself "Addiction" and clinging onto my back, pouring coffee down my back all the while. I think he needs to get laid or something... he's always been more of a quiet badass from what I could see.

The penguin... let's not talk of him right now. Suffice to say that a duel action laser and hypno beam are in the works.

*sigh*


--------------------
I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby.

I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you.
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phoenix
post Aug 31 2004, 10:06 PM
Post #23


si hoc legere scis ninium eruditionis habes
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can i adopt a tara instead? happy.gif if not a dace will do... i guess dry.gif


--------------------
You are a wealthy crook and want to take over the world, you:

[A] Steal the secret plans to the U.S. Strategic Defense Initiative and hold the world ransom for $1,000,000,000.
[B] Own Microsoft
[C] Plant subliminal messages in the news Tom Brokaw reads every night: "(((send $1 to PO Box 426, Missoula, MT 59806)))"
[D] Capture the only man in the universe who can stop you, tell him your plans, then place him in an easily escapable situation with an air duct linking him to every country in the Northern Hemisphere and leave him alone.
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phoenix
post Aug 31 2004, 10:08 PM
Post #24


si hoc legere scis ninium eruditionis habes
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QUOTE (SPEAKERfortheLOST @ Aug 30 2004, 05:42 PM)
Wanted Ad in my local newspaper:

Looking for Lesser Daemon to take care of my little daughter.  Needs to be well qualified in the art of torture, domination, and Proper Toilet Training.  Call 666-4968 ask for margie.
*


lmao!!! oh in the apartment building where my dad live some actually has that number laugh.gif


[/spam] sorry but it giggles me and i had to share


--------------------
You are a wealthy crook and want to take over the world, you:

[A] Steal the secret plans to the U.S. Strategic Defense Initiative and hold the world ransom for $1,000,000,000.
[B] Own Microsoft
[C] Plant subliminal messages in the news Tom Brokaw reads every night: "(((send $1 to PO Box 426, Missoula, MT 59806)))"
[D] Capture the only man in the universe who can stop you, tell him your plans, then place him in an easily escapable situation with an air duct linking him to every country in the Northern Hemisphere and leave him alone.
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SPEAKERfortheLOS...
post Sep 1 2004, 01:03 AM
Post #25


Transdimensional Traveler
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I knew that was a real number... though an old friend of mine had it once...

The best part about that though... Me and my friends actually ran that ad... We got 10 calls to sell kids instead of daces....

Ironic isnt it....

CONFORM
CONSUME
OBEY


--------------------
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.


Jack of all trades, master of none,
though offtimes better than master of one.

Carpe Noctem, pro cras nos necemus
Carpe Diem, pro hodie nos mutiamo

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