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> Troubling..., I feel alone..
The Lorax
post Jul 8 2004, 07:23 AM
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Today was not a fun day…I just found out my mom is sending me to a therapist. (or a counselor-she’s not sure yet.)

I might have said this before in another thread, but I have serious problems with my nine-year-old sister, Amy. I don’t know what it is but when she comes into the room I get tense and generally unhappy, and seeing as how I share a room with her, I’m like that all the time. She does whatever she can to make my two older brothers and I, miserable, just because we don’t let her get her way all the time. The only one she listens to is my mother, and because of that, when I have to baby-sit it turns into hell. It seems like everything that is mine is now hers, I have no privacy, and no authority—and it doesn’t help the case at hand.

She was born when I was five, and a lot of bad stuff was going on then, my brother was battling severe depression and mental trauma. My other brother was in and out of the hospital, but instead of attribute those things to genetics or stupidity, my brain made the connection:

Amy + bad things = Amy causes bad things

So now whenever I see her it’s a negative thing…and I know I should love her but until I get this fixed I can’t. I want to…but I can’t.

I kinda need some support since my family seems disappointed that I can’t just smile and pretend…but I cannot pretend to love someone I honestly don’t love. So I’m kind of in exile right now...and completely alone...


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the lil' pie...
post Jul 8 2004, 08:09 AM
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i have this problem with my own sister, lorax. she was born a few months before my dad left home, and to find out he had left because he couldn't deal with another child made this connection for me of it all being her (three month old) fault.
to this day, i can't get along with her, i hate her being near me, she annoys me like hell, even disgusts me. it's like a little voice telling me to hurt her somehow, all the time. my parents have learnt to live with it, but i can tell it gets to them.

let me know what the therapist says. i'd be interested to hear what can be done about it. i hope going to see them isn't too horrid for you, you don't seem v.enthusiastic, and i don't blame you! my thoughts go with you on this one *hugs*


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Mutilation
post Jul 8 2004, 09:46 AM
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Just hope it's not one of the those REALLY old therapists that thinks the only cure is beating it out of them.

QUOTE
it's like a little voice telling me to hurt her


That also sounds very worrying. I got on very well with my brother. It will probably be better when your sister matures and realises what PERSONAL SPACE is.
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gothictheysay
post Jul 8 2004, 05:00 PM
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I have pretty much the same problem with my older sister. The thing with your family is they made not understand - try to stress that you're doing all you can. I hope the therapist will be helpful - mine has been so far - and just keep an open mind and your spirits up.

Don't worry, you're not alone, no matter what you think. *hugs*


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Mutilation
post Jul 8 2004, 06:15 PM
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Why are so many of you girls who have been through therapy? This can't be good.

*Runs to CS-Nation forum where there are no girls*
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acid_rain_child
post Jul 8 2004, 09:20 PM
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I think therapy is over used in general.

Think of it this way, Lorax, it's better that your mother is actually sending you to get help. I've been telling my mother since my first mental break down about 2 years ago that I need to go see someone. But she never takes it seriously, and I think she's paying the price for it now. By the time I get any help, they'll say I need a pill or something to keep me stable (I probably do right now to tell the truth). If I would've gone earlier, I may be a happier person than I am today, and I may not have all the problems I'm having now (with drugs and things of that nature). Therapy will get to the bottom of your troubles with your sister. You may think you have it all figured out now, and that you don't need someone telling you what's wrong, but truthfully, there's some stuff you don't even know is happening inside your own head. Don't fight what help your mother is willing to give you, and don't take it for granted.


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Snugglebum the D...
post Jul 8 2004, 09:33 PM
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I don't want to belittle what you're feeling, but...

All families have their sibling rivalry. Can you not just chalk it up to that?

I have a younger sister by three years and an oder brother by three years. I have problems on both sides - with my brother I just wish he'd pull himself together and with my sister we are so similiar that we just clash supremely now and again.

That's families, that's life. I sometimes feel that people make normal, everyday problems into this huge thing.

You may have to be put onto drugs for it. But is that really the solution? May you grow out of it? May it just be a section of your life?


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Forever Unknown
post Jul 8 2004, 11:28 PM
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Nine years old, I can imagine, is a difficult age.

I honestly do believe that it'll improve with time. Me and my siblings never got along until we werent living together.

You can't expect your nine year old sister to comprehend things the same way as you because she's just too young - she won't understand it. As you both mature, you'll understand to tolerate and be comfortable with one another. In the meantime - don't be so hard on her.

On incredibly rare occasions do family members not love others. I'd bet you both love one another unconditionally, she just gets on your tits.

As a younger sibling, I *know* you don't get privacy, and I realise it's hard work. She'll grow out of it. It's not that she causes bad things to happen, and it's unfair for you to blame that on her because she's young, she doesn't know better and, quite frankly, it's not her fault. I don't think it's her reaction to you, but your reaction to her.


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sjbbandgeek
post Jul 8 2004, 11:55 PM
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My little sister is also a little monster. She is always singing some crappy song trying to get it stuck in my head.
Lucky for me, years of intensive training has enabled me to zone out the entire outside world with ease.
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acid_rain_child
post Jul 9 2004, 12:10 AM
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I doubt she'll be put on drugs for a sibling rivalry, but you know, she may have other family problems that are fueling her sensitivity. I know that's how it is in my house. All the stress makes it so that every time someone steps in the room, everyone else gets tense because everyone knows there's a good chance the new person will start a fight. If her mother thinks she should get some help, there has to be some validity.

Sorry for talking about you like you aren't here Lorax smile.gif


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The Lorax
post Jul 9 2004, 12:19 AM
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QUOTE
Why are so many of you girls who have been through therapy? This can't be good.


Oh stop. You still love us. tongue.gif


QUOTE
I don't want to belittle what you're feeling, but...All families have their sibling rivalry. Can you not just chalk it up to that?


No worries...but believe me, Snugs--you do not know how much I wish it was just sibling rivalry. I'm not saying that dosen't contribute, but she could have done nothing and just being around her sets me on a bitchy-edge. I'm absolutely cool with my older brothers, we never fight.


I know she is just nine, and she dosen't understand why I can never talk or play with her, and if she were older I would put in an honest effort to try to make her understand, but she can't right now. And I know it hurts her-my mom tries to use that to guilt me into being nice but when she gets older, I don't want her to think of fun times we've had as just...lies.

EDIT:
QUOTE
Sorry for talking about you like you aren't here Lorax 


It's all shibby!


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EvilSpork
post Jul 9 2004, 03:50 AM
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Just a little fact...

Most women become depressed or do end up going to therapy in their lives. I think the moms know just how difficult some females can be so they just overuse it. tongue.gif

Seriously though, if you have a problem just go along with the therapy, then maybe try to talk to your sister about it in a few years when you think she may understand better if you still need to. Right now she just can't express her opinions and how she feels to the same extent you can, so it may take time.
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gothictheysay
post Jul 9 2004, 04:23 AM
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Yeah, women have twice the chance for depression. Depression is commonly called "anger turned inward", and a lot of men don't turn their anger inward so it's expressed as anger and not depression.

Sorry to spam your thread there; just an interesting fact. You know if you want to talk to me more you can though, right? happy.gif


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The Lorax
post Jul 9 2004, 05:17 AM
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QUOTE (gothictheysay @ Jul 8 2004, 10:23 PM)
Sorry to spam your thread there; just an interesting fact. You know if you want to talk to me more you can though, right? happy.gif

Most deffinately.


On another note--

smile.gif I'm just happy that I have some people to talk to...my family isn't having it, and my friends...well...I don't see very much during the summer.

Thanks guys! *hugs you all*


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the lil' pie...
post Jul 9 2004, 08:06 AM
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QUOTE (Mutilation @ Jul 8 2004, 10:46 AM)
QUOTE
it's like a little voice telling me to hurt her


That also sounds very worrying. I got on very well with my brother. It will probably be better when your sister matures and realises what PERSONAL SPACE is.

i hope so. it was like this morning. i needed to get dressed after my shower, but i share a room. so my sister sits there looking into space, not getting done and making us late, whilst making me feel uncomfortable about getting done in my own room!
GRRRRRR.

and it's true. she could be as nice as pie, (mmmm...pie) but the fact she was in the same room would ruin my day. difficult to live with, but hey.

and lorax, you're welcome smile.gif you know we're all here.


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The Lorax
post Jul 9 2004, 08:26 PM
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QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Jul 9 2004, 02:06 AM)
and it's true. she could be as nice as pie, (mmmm...pie) but the fact she was in the same room would ruin my day. difficult to live with, but hey.

and lorax, you're welcome smile.gif you know we're all here.

That's EXACTLY how I feel. huh.gif Are you channeling me? Or are we somehow twins?

--and yes I know you all are here! happy.gif


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Silver Star Ange...
post Jul 9 2004, 09:48 PM
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I can't really help, since I'm the youngest sister... but don't worry. If you need me, I'm a PM away. *hugs and hands you a cake*


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post Jul 10 2004, 05:29 AM
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I nottice how you act when Amy is around 'Lorax,' and I don't think she really tries to make life hard for you. She's just trying to get by and since she's found out that if she pouts and whines and cries then she can get whatever she wants.
And when you say you hate her- Kaede would you be truly happy if she were murdered right in front of you in cold blood?
Hate is such a strong word and probably should not be used, even if you are kidding.
She likes to hang out with you, I've seen her new art work and she's trying to make you her role model but since you guys don't get along thats hard. I'm truthfully sorry you feel this way and I actually feel somewhat sadened you didn't talk about this with me. I guess we're not as close as I thought. But oh well right? ^.^ At least you have everyone here to help you out even when I'm not there.


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the lil' pie...
post Jul 12 2004, 01:17 PM
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QUOTE (The Lorax @ Jul 9 2004, 09:26 PM)
That's EXACTLY how I feel. huh.gif Are you channeling me? Or are we somehow twins?

damn. plot foiled ph34r.gif

lol. no, but i'm glad i'm not the only one who has this problem. my parents don't know about it though which makes it so much worse unsure.gif


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