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Forever Unknown
post Jul 12 2004, 08:43 PM
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So. I've just done a stunner.

In bombing up the stairs at home, I tripped over the top step *and* my own feet at the same time, smashing my forehead and bridge of my nose not only on the corner of the windowsill, but on the corner of the radiator as well. The monologue happened as so:

"Ow. Ow. Ow! Ow! OW OW OW!"
*notices the pouring blood*
"Oh, f**k me. F**k me..."
*notices the amount of pouring blood*
"*General screeching* Help, oh my God, help"

Never seen that much amount of blood in my life. And, strangely, while I'm sat there p*ssing with blood, I'm catching it so that it doesn't fall all over the floor.

So I've got rather impressive huge deep-as-all-hell gashes (3 inch long down the middle of my forehead, one inch long down the bridge of my nose) which are still bleeding a bit one hour later. Permanent scarring ahoy.

It's hilarious in hindsight. Aside from the pain and blood and possible broken nose... Heh.

Anyway. It got me wondering: What are the most ridiculously stupid and yet immensely painful things you've managed to do to yourself in pure clumsiness? If nothing else, then to make me feel a little less silly.


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Snugglebum the D...
post Jul 12 2004, 08:49 PM
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*huggles* Jesus, girlie - that sounds nasty. sad.gif

You know most of mine anyway FU - but for the rest of the forum -

I set my hand alight on a paraffin garden candle once. I was drunk enough at the time not to notice but I had to go to the hospital two days later as I had a blister the size of a fifty pence piece.

Burnt my arm with a heated paint stripper because I had it in my hand, chatting away and crossed my arms without thinking.

Burnt my nipple with a candle when trying to move a candle from one shelf to the other when naked.

It occurs to me that I really shouldn't have anything to do with fire... biggrin.gif


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LindyLouWho
post Jul 12 2004, 09:05 PM
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umm no it seems fire is not your friend o.o sorry to hear about yall getting hurt so bad, I guess my worst one was going into a wooded area wearing flip flops... they kindly slid aside so that a peice of glass could enter the bottom of my foot ... many of stitches blarg.... what was funny was when I went to get my stitches I took a book so I could read and try not to think about it.... as they did the stitches I was reading faster and faster, the whole waiting room heard me >.< heh not quite as interesting as you guys but its what I got


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hinsley
post Jul 12 2004, 09:26 PM
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In this hotel i was in the main stair case is in the middle of a seating area and i walked up the stairs and managed to fall up them and everyone laughed.

then i did it again about 3 steps up.

then again when walking back down about an hour later.
Those stairs did not like me.


My worst enemies always used to hang out at the same place as everyone i hung around with and as i was walking over to someone i knew i walked in front of their car trying to look oh so cool when i fell over, smacked my head on the side of the pavment (why didnt i put my arms out?!?!?!) and cut above my right eye. Yes, they laughed at me. sad.gif

and at work i was walking down the stairs from the stockroom that lead right into the store with a big pack of coffee so i couldnt see where i was going so i had to guess where the steps were, but i guessed wrong on the first step and fell down the whole staircase before smacking my head on the video rental shelf and messing up my ankle.

i didnt break any of the coffee jars tho!!!



im always falling over. sad.gif


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gothictheysay
post Jul 12 2004, 09:52 PM
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Ouch! That has got to hurt sad.gif I'm sorry.

I was sitting in English one day and I put my finger between the metal and plastic part of the chair. I was holding up the plastic part of the chair with the rest of my hand. When I lost my grasp, my poor little fingee got sandwiched between the two parts of the chair...which were supposed to be connected. Nasty bruise; and it swelled up.

The only big scars I have on my body are from falling off my bike dry.gif One on my knee and there's going to be one on my left elbow. There are two little ones on my feet because I will bike in flip-flops or even barefoot, no matter what I'm told. I currently have three bruises from my last bike spill - one of them is 4 inches by 3 inches and has turned all colors of the rainbow...

I can't think of anything I had to go to the emergency room for...no stitches. During cross country, I pulled a muscle in my knee/thigh. Stupidly, I ran on it, and it still hurt by the time the big all-inclusive this-is-it meet came. I did terrible because of it! mad.gif

I was scratching a mosquito bite recently; blood started to roll down my hand... blink.gif

Oh, and I once tripped and fell over a sidewalk crack. I think I earn the title of klutz.


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LindyLouWho
post Jul 12 2004, 10:00 PM
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dude I dont think there is anyone who hasnt fallen cuz of a dang sidewalk! oh but I got buckled by one... I was like 3 or 4 and I was playing in my aunts back yard... playing carnival yay... anyway I was on the one swing with two seats... ya know? and I was like hey look at me and took my hands off the bar and then fell back onto a jagged peice of concrete had to get stitches in my head... bled for like 11 blocks ewwwwwwwww hehe


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Forever Unknown
post Jul 12 2004, 10:53 PM
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QUOTE
I was sitting in English one day and I put my finger between the metal and plastic part of the chair. I was holding up the plastic part of the chair with the rest of my hand. When I lost my grasp, my poor little fingee got sandwiched between the two parts of the chair...which were supposed to be connected. Nasty bruise; and it swelled up.


Reminds me of the time I got my fingers slammed in the security gate at work... Horrendously painful, but not too much physically damage.

Nice to know everyone's as clumsy as me!


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Mata
post Jul 13 2004, 12:44 AM
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Kim, you truly are rather accident prone. All the best with the healing process!

I've remained remarkably accident free for quite a few years now. Occasional burns and that kind of thing, but good reflexes have saved me most of the time.

For example, I have a sewing machine that was made around 1950. It weighs a lot; I'm pretty strong and have to heft to lift it. It comes in a box that clips over the top of the machine with a handle for carrying. One day I picked it up and was moving it when I realised that one of the clips holding it in place must have been loose. The reason I noticed this was that the extremely heavy and very solid machine was now accelerating very fast towards my foot, approximately 18 inches away from it. Thank goodness for juggler's reflexes otherwise I suspect I wouldn't have had any bones left in that foot!


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acid_rain_child
post Jul 13 2004, 01:11 AM
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QUOTE (Snugglebum the Destroyer @ Jul 12 2004, 09:49 PM)
Burnt my nipple with a candle when trying to move a candle from one shelf to the other when naked.

I wish I had a camera so I could show you the face I made when I read that. First it was of pure horror, then it was of confusion, and then I sorta did a, "you dumb*ss" kinda shake of my head. What on EARTH were you doing naked, trying to move a candle. Please tell me it was fun and worth it...

QUOTE
For example, I have a sewing machine that was made around 1950. It weighs a lot; I'm pretty strong and have to heft to lift it.


Hmm. You know Mata, I was planning that when I get my first paycheck to put it towards donation (I really do owe it, I mean, I've been here for years. And he let's us for free, too happy.gif) but maybe I'll just buy you a new sewing machine. From this century... or maybe just one from the last decade. Just a thought.

Worst accident ever was when I was 4 and fell off a futon. I was balancing on the edge of it, with my arms spread out, rocking back and forth, when I felt that cold ball in my stomach and knew I was about to fall. I landed on a glass bowl, with left a 2 1/2 inch gash and scar on my left wrist (looks like a silverfish) and a 3 1/2 gash and scar on the same forearm. Bad times.

Nothing really serious besides that that I can think of. Oh, and I think I mentioned this here before, but once in gym class, I was trying to impress someboday, so I picked up the heaviest barbells (I believe they were 20 lbs.) and I was doing that thing where you step up, lift your arms, step down, drop your arms. So, I was so busy gloating or something, that when I steped down, my hands smashed together, and my middle finger got caught between the bells of the two barbells, and I do believe I broke it. It turned swollen and purple and now it's crooked. Also bad times.


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{Gothic Angel}
post Jul 13 2004, 11:59 AM
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I was walking along the road with my friend, talking to her, so I wasnt looking where I was going. I finished talking and turned around and suddenly there was a lamp-post there. I walked into it. My friend, who had so kindly not warned me it was there, laughed tongue.gif


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CrazyFooIAintGet...
post Jul 13 2004, 12:11 PM
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QUOTE ({Gothic Angel} @ Jul 13 2004, 12:59 PM)
I was walking along the road with my friend, talking to her, so I wasnt looking where I was going. I finished talking and turned around and suddenly there was a lamp-post there. I walked into it. My friend, who had so kindly not warned me it was there, laughed tongue.gif

I've done the exact same thing!!! Damn lamp-posts!!! mad.gif

I walked into a TV as well that used to hang above my bed for some reason.. it hurt sad.gif


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Snugglebum the D...
post Jul 13 2004, 12:25 PM
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QUOTE
Please tell me it was fun and worth it...


Yes on both counts. biggrin.gif


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Forever Unknown
post Jul 13 2004, 03:57 PM
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QUOTE
Kim, you truly are rather accident prone.


I really am. I have absolutely no hand-eye-foot-limb-torso co-ordination and as a result often fall arse over tit.

Although, admittedly, this is the most damage I've ever done, so I'm relatively impressed that I've preserved myself so well for 21 years. It was bound to happen eventually...

But I'm never getting out of bed again. It's proved itself far too dangerous.


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Cath Sparrow
post Jul 13 2004, 05:54 PM
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I've been brainwashed
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Hey Fu if you have broken your nose the NHS'll give you a free nose job! I know this from when I crashed my car and though I might have broken mine the doctors told me if I had I could get it fixed!


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Forever Unknown
post Jul 13 2004, 07:49 PM
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Really?!?!? Oh my God! That's fabulous! I've always absolutely detested my nose...

Let's hope it's broken!

(How can you tell if it's broken or just badly bruised and swollen?)


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Snugglebum the D...
post Jul 13 2004, 08:16 PM
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QUOTE
I've always absolutely detested my nose...


I've always blamed Dad for our noses... dry.gif


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Art should be an expression of what humanity is capable of imagining - not limited to representing that which surrounds us - Demetrios Vakras
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Mr Fuzzy
post Jul 13 2004, 08:19 PM
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That sounds slightly worrying. Did he have a habit of tweaking them with pliers when you were children? blink.gif


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Snugglebum the D...
post Jul 13 2004, 08:21 PM
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QUOTE
That sounds slightly worrying. Did he have a habit of tweaking them with pliers when you were children? 


Heheh - nope, but that would have been a cool story. Unfortunatly, it's all down to boring old genetics. Natch... wink.gif


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artist.unknown
post Jul 13 2004, 08:57 PM
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I could probably win a contest in this. sigh.

Arg. Noses. My nose is extremely crooked due to a run-in with the metal bit of a trampoline. That same year (I was 10 maybe?) I stomped up some stairs, causing a plate to fall off a shelf and break on my nose, gashing the top open. A plate!!

I set my hand on fire trying to pull a burning marshmallow off a stick.

A couple years ago my sink exploded while I was at taekwondo, flooding my room. We had to pull up the carpet and take down the doors. My mum's solution for keeping me from stepping on the carpet tacks was to lay the door on the floor on top of them, around a blind corner. Of course, I tripped over the edge of the door, snapping a toe into a complete right angle and gashing open the bottom of my foot. Mum: "Aaah! Stop bleeding all over the carpet!"

In biology some years ago I looked up in the middle of dissecting a kidney and ran an exacto-knife through my thumb. I severed the tendon and ligaments down to the bone, but my nurse's remedy was to put on a bandaid and send me off to play hockey. Now it is a completely useless digit. And it's my video game thumb too. Dammit...


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markslut
post Jul 13 2004, 08:58 PM
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the fishnet patterned bruises on my knees will take some explaining


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EvilSpork
post Jul 13 2004, 09:12 PM
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Well, I was riding my bike, on my way home, as it started to rain. I was about a mile away from home so I picked up my pace a bit.

I never wear a helmet when riding two or one wheeled ways of transportation. Yes, no helmet when riding my bike or unicycle... So anyway as it goes, my tire slipped off the pavement and into a large patch of sand, flipping me overy my handle bars. Well, one hand partially stopped my head from hitting the nice hard pavement, as the other got crushed by my body.

So what happened? Well.. My right hand was dragged the full distance under my body (back of the hand about 4 or 5 feet) my left hand out in front of me scraping across the palm to stop my head from smashing against the pavement, but to no avail, as it knocked against it a couple times.

So there I am with two bleeding hands and a bleeding head, nobody around, nearest houses are all dark so I can't go ask for some help... I had to get home, I can't remember if I walked or got back on my bike...
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Snugglebum the D...
post Jul 13 2004, 09:16 PM
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I can beat everyone - but only by recounting my brother's many, many disasters -

* Fell off hisbike as a child, split his nose open.

* Sanded his thumb down to the bone on the industrial sander at secondary school.

* Got smacked off his push bike by a motor bike when in secondary school. Twelve stiches later and he's half an eyebrow short.

* Skidded off his bike a few years later and that's about an ounce of hip lost.

And the winner is!!!!

Two years ago, punched a window in. Slashed an artery. Many hours of theatre later - one artery down, no tendon in upper arm. Months of therapy. A huge scar within his forearm, no full use of his hand and wanking problems for the rest of his life.

(I feel like I'm missing something FU)


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acid_rain_child
post Jul 13 2004, 09:17 PM
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What's the moral of this story? No one should ever wear helmets or any protection at all. That way, we get to laugh at you when you fall.

I'd like to know how often you use a unicycle as your mode of transportation though.


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Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes sh*t to make bliss,
Well I feel pretty blissfully."
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Silver Star Ange...
post Jul 13 2004, 09:17 PM
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For the love of God! *hugs and hands yall cakes* I hope you aren't in too much pain!

*still cringes from the thought of your incidents*

Once, when I was 4, I was roller skating, and I went over a bad piece of pavement, and I fell right on my back. I thought I'd be messed up forever, but a few hours later it didn't hurt as bad. Also, when I was about eleven, I was getting on the school bus when some kid ran down the bus stairs, sending me flying off of them and onto the street below. My hands were scraped, and glasses broken. Fortunately I was able to break the fall, otherwise I don't think I'd be typing right now...


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EvilSpork
post Jul 13 2004, 09:21 PM
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QUOTE (acid_rain_child @ Jul 13 2004, 05:17 PM)
I'd like to know how often you use a unicycle as your mode of transportation though.

To be honest I feel safer on it.

But it's not as fast as a bike so for transportation I use my bike then for fun I use my unicycle. It's fancier and niftier lookin' than a trick bike wink.gif.
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