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> World Domination, What's your plan to take over the world?
Baron
post Jul 29 2004, 12:45 AM
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Alright...here's my plan to take over the world in X easy steps.

1: Take over the country of Russia.

2: Develop the Russian oil reserves in Siberia.

(Now, you see, Russia has lots of oil. So does the Middle East. But it is much easier to ship oil from the Persian Gulf then from Siberia. Thus, we have step 3...)

3: Nuke the Middle East.

4: I now control the world's oil supply! All nations will bow down to me!
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PsychWardMike
post Jul 29 2004, 12:53 AM
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...I already rule the world. You just don't know it. That's the trademark of a good ruler.


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Baron
post Jul 29 2004, 12:58 AM
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Then I will use my oil wealth, plus the whole Russian Army, to overthrow you.

Unless you happen to be President Putin.

(You never know who you might run into on the internet.)
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gothictheysay
post Jul 29 2004, 01:28 AM
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living in your basement, eating your candy hearts
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Of course I won't tell you! rolleyes.gif It's mostly underground at the moment.

(Mike just thinks he rules the world. He's had too much coffee. If he does get control, well, we know what to bribe him with. I mean, *I* know what to bribe him with. *cough*)

Meanwhile, I shall be in my basement working on alternate energy solutions. evil.gif


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Mutilation
post Jul 29 2004, 09:21 AM
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No, LUE already rules the world. They could cause the internet to collapse in minutes with their spam techniques.

And mine, well seeming as the Dam-Busters already have control of Russia and China, Japan, Thailand etc. all you need to do is:

1)Use necromatic acts to revive Mao, Stalin, Lenin, Marx and Trotsky. Hitler if your a Nazi.

2)Blitzkreig Europe with the huge amount of Neo-Tanks The Dam-Busters pwn.

3)Restart the cold war.

4)Nuke America, then send in the Dam-Busters, then more Neo-Tanks.

5)Yea, like India and all those other crappy countries have an army. Let's so the amount of people left in the army to resist:

Canada: 7
India: 28, and 3 small elephants
Australia: 5 kangaroos and 2 Koalas
The rest of that place with Islam and stuff: 32, and 4 suicide bombers
Hong Kong: 5 Gundams (a bit of a problem)

So you see, we could take over the world in less than a week, and still have the weekend off!

Of course Dam-Buster ships run on Febreeze clothes freshener, so oil means nothing to us.
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Gothymothy girl
post Aug 3 2004, 06:07 PM
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Ima try to get the world back into the fuedal age--- the Japanese fuedal, to be exact. First I steal a crapload of money, bribe the president into killing himself, make sure everyone votes for my "fuedal age party" by using mind control, which I will create using the intelligence of another. laugh.gif

Just kidding.


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artist.unknown
post Aug 3 2004, 06:26 PM
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Even though I can't tell you what I will do, I can tell you what I WON'T.

Click for Evil


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Baron
post Aug 3 2004, 06:34 PM
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QUOTE (gothictheysay @ Jul 29 2004, 02:28 AM)
Meanwhile, I shall be in my basement working on alternate energy solutions. evil.gif

I WILL BUILD A CAFFEINE POWERED ENGINE!

I've been struck by a brilliant engineering idea...

That doesn't exactly have anything to do with plans to take over the world.

I wonder...when they make decaffeinated coffee, where does all the caffeine go?

This will revolutionize the motor-vehicle industry!

Well...there might be a small problem of costumers trying to sniff their cars fuel.

But brain damage for stupid people is a reasonable price to pay for technological progress.
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artist.unknown
post Aug 3 2004, 06:45 PM
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Some of my favourite quotes from the list of "Things I'd do if I Ever Became an Evil Overlord" (link above):

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

9.I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

15.I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

20.Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

73.I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

88.If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

...you get the idea. ^^

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach.


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-Grammar Nazi-quotes of the yesterday
It is only in his work that an artist can find reality and satisfaction, for the actual world is less intense than the world of his invention and consequently his life, without recourse to violent disorder, does not seem very substantial. -Tennessee Williams
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eleraama
post Aug 4 2004, 02:44 PM
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Hah, ar.un. You forgot one thing: the power of future slaves under your regime to tell of your plot!

WHO WANTS HER SECRET PLANS...?

(Please email me with your bids happy.gif)


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eleraama
post Aug 4 2004, 02:47 PM
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Hah, ar.un. You forgot one thing: the power of future slaves under your regime to tell of your plot!

WHO WANTS HER SECRET PLANS...?

(Please email me with your bids happy.gif)


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"Hell is... other people." No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre.
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eternallybored
post Aug 4 2004, 05:18 PM
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hehehehe...

I have the perfect plan.
I will CONTAMINATE THE CHOCOLATE!!!
Yes, everybody eats chocolate at some point in their life...even those that are allergic must try it before they know! And every last piece of the stuff will be dripping with mind control acid, so that even if you're like Gothymothy Girl and hate it you will be under my control, becuse chocolate is literally everywhere! It will be irrisistable; so incredibly good that rezistinss is futile!

And if you're not under my control within one businness week, I will send my already-made minions after you pathetic souls. Death will be painful.

Once I have seated myself in the throne as the Chocolate Queen, I wil revert to something like Gothymothy's plan (I have stealing rights, you said you werent reallky going to do it), and make everything like it was in the fuedal Japan era.

Except we will ride robo-mechs.


smile.gif


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artist.unknown
post Aug 4 2004, 11:16 PM
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QUOTE
Hah, ar.un. You forgot one thing: the power of future slaves under your regime to tell of your plot!


Silly whipping boy spammed. Naughty underling! When I take over the world, thou shalt scoop horse poo in the Overlordly stables of DOOM.

That is all. [\spam]


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It is only in his work that an artist can find reality and satisfaction, for the actual world is less intense than the world of his invention and consequently his life, without recourse to violent disorder, does not seem very substantial. -Tennessee Williams
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space butler
post Aug 5 2004, 10:53 AM
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my plan involves becoming pirates and taking over every country in alphabetical order...i think well get as far as azerbyjhan and then get lost or something
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Kitty
post Aug 5 2004, 03:01 PM
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*shifty eyes* So far no ones plans are as great as me and my friends plan. How come no one thinks of the moon?? NO ONE! Well.... out plan takes up like 50 some pages in font size 10 type so I wont go into it.... I can just say.... everyone will be exiled to the moon *nodnod* And then earth will be cleansed and then all the people we like can go back to earth, and.... everyone else.... tough luck


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Baron
post Aug 6 2004, 08:56 PM
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You could just create a super-evil-evolving-self-replicating computer virus and use it to destroy all technology on Earth. Then you'd have a feudal world. And if you kept a few pieces of uninfected technology for yourself, you'd be overlord of everything.
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eternallybored
post Aug 6 2004, 09:18 PM
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That would be the robo-mechs.

Oh, yes, and I'll let people have the internet. That is just too smart an invention to destroy.


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Aug 7 2004, 12:59 AM
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I would use a cunning plan of lulling you all into a false sense of security, then, just when no one's expecting anything, i'd sit back an watch tele...because no one likes a show off...


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Kitty
post Aug 7 2004, 03:31 AM
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QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Aug 6 2004, 07:59 PM)
I would use a cunning plan of lulling you all into a false sense of security, then, just when no one's expecting anything, i'd sit back an watch tele...because no one likes a show off...
*


The tele!???! How could you just watch the tele?? Theres so many more fun things than the tele.... tele tele.... tsk tsk.... just the tele?


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Aug 7 2004, 11:17 AM
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....i was going for mundane, watching tele = mundane, all part of my joke, hope that clears it up for you wink.gif tongue.gif


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Gothymothy girl
post Aug 7 2004, 10:03 PM
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Bleeg?
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QUOTE
Once I have seated myself in the throne as the Chocolate Queen, I wil revert to something like Gothymothy's plan (I have stealing rights, you said you werent reallky going to do it), and make everything like it was in the fuedal Japan era.


mad.gif Razz, do you know how hard I worked on that plan? About six months. And no, you cannot steal it. It's already under way. . . you just don't know it. . . '

My plan to bring the back the Feudal era is ingenious. Maybe not the bribing of the president part--- that doesn't even need to be done. Witht the mind control that I am already creating, Everyone will vote for my feudal age party. That way, our government will be destroyed. I have a few things I have to rant and rave about now, so I'll take it to Issues. I'll be back to edit my post. . . muahahahhahahahha. . .


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. . . I'm hearing voices but all they do is complain. . .
What if I had a mustard-drenched cucumber tied to my leg and I did not want my pants to get dirty? Ya better checkety-check yourself before ya wreckety-wreck yourself! Once you finally create something original, someone comes along and steals it. . . not to say that's a BAD thing. . .
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eternallybored
post Aug 7 2004, 10:08 PM
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Humph, your brother thought up that plan.
/spam


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eleraama
post Aug 10 2004, 09:17 PM
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Now, see, you have to make people think they want you, so everybody's happy. Start a massacre under an assumed name (maybe wear a mask and twirl your mustache a bit), then come along and 'save' the world from the imagined peril. Either that or start a new world order with dolphins and/or the muti-dimensional beings that are represented as mice. (Anybody get that? Anybody? *Crickets*)


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phoenix
post Aug 10 2004, 11:36 PM
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si hoc legere scis ninium eruditionis habes
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4-1-2007
the day the inanimate objects will take over the world! ph34r.gif


(i dont remember where i heard that, but it stuck to memory tongue.gif)


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You are a wealthy crook and want to take over the world, you:

[A] Steal the secret plans to the U.S. Strategic Defense Initiative and hold the world ransom for $1,000,000,000.
[B] Own Microsoft
[C] Plant subliminal messages in the news Tom Brokaw reads every night: "(((send $1 to PO Box 426, Missoula, MT 59806)))"
[D] Capture the only man in the universe who can stop you, tell him your plans, then place him in an easily escapable situation with an air duct linking him to every country in the Northern Hemisphere and leave him alone.
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artist.unknown
post Aug 10 2004, 11:48 PM
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QUOTE
Either that or start a new world order with dolphins and/or the muti-dimensional beings that are represented as mice. (Anybody get that? Anybody? *Crickets*)


Silly eleraama, don't you know they already have? ^^ As for the Galaxy...*points to sig* Hurrar. Go pseudo-democracy!

As for me and my plans, am I the only one fascinated by the fact that one power station getting hit by lightning or wotnot put out most of the energy on the American East Coast and some of Canada?


--------------------
-Grammar Nazi-quotes of the yesterday
It is only in his work that an artist can find reality and satisfaction, for the actual world is less intense than the world of his invention and consequently his life, without recourse to violent disorder, does not seem very substantial. -Tennessee Williams
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