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> Is It Me?, Am I completely gullible?
Faerieryn
post Aug 1 2004, 07:34 PM
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Faeries don't bite we just nibble a bit!
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OK guys I've got a really confusing situation going on in my life at the minutes and I was wondering if people here might be able to help me figure it out.

Right. This whole thing really started about 3 1/2 years ago when I started seeing this guy I worked with. He is three and a bit years younger than me but we had a fantastic relationship for about a year and then things started to go wrong. Thing is that we are both majorly still in love with each other ( he has told me he feels this way) we have broken up and got back together several times but the last time we did he left the country sayig that he wasn't likely to come back. Whilst he was away I started seeing someone else but that got too heavy for me and I backed out just as he managed to reappear from australia. Anyway to cut a long story short he now says that he cant trust me as the person I was seeing was his boss ( I know , queen stoopid here, but wait it gets better!)

Now for the last six months or so we have been trapped in a circle of "I want to be friends" moving towards the "Oh bugger we ended up in bed again" to "I never want to see you again" to " I can't not be around you I miss you too much". We arrived at a bit of a dodgy arrangments which was the classic "Friends Shag buddy" thing. This was going OK (there were no screaming fits or crying my eyes out) until last week when he stopped contacting me. No text messages, no phone calls no emails nothing.

I texted him to try and find out what was going on but got no where. This evening I got up the courage to phone him and found that both his mobiles were off. This now has me completely confused. If he was just ignoring me he wouldn't turn his phone off he would just cancel the call. I let him know that I was going to call but I actually phoned later than I was supposed to. PLUS he has been kicked out of his parents place and is living between his car and his friends places.

My questions are quite simple really. Am I being stupid? Is it really naive of me to think that there might be another reason for him not contacting me other than he doesn't want to talk to me? Or is it possible that he might be having problems with his phones (charging/ paying bills that he isn't at home to collect)?

Help me out here guys I'm stuffed!

Luv Ryn


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If life hands you a lemon make lemonade, lace it with cyanide and then pass it around. What can I say I'm a revenge type of gal!!! Ryn
Wearing a large shiny tag around neck "Uncullable Faerie"
Official S P A N G L E R and self proclaimed protector of Tribe Wyvern- OOh Sparkly!!
Proud leader of the Super Spangler Squad. Me and Stardust wil spangle your a$$!!
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EvilSpork
post Aug 1 2004, 11:10 PM
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Daaaaaaaaaaaaaang
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That's tough I dont' know what to tell you.

Nothing is stupid if it has reason.

Good luck with that sad.gif
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gothictheysay
post Aug 2 2004, 01:55 AM
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Aww, I'm sorry sad.gif I've been in somewhat of a similar situation - roughly - but not quite exactly. Is there another way you can reach him? Try doing that...It could be that his phones aren't working, but it could also be that he's too chicken to face the music. Really I don't know the situation too well enough to know exactly...and I hate sounding pessmistic to other people but don't hope on it too much...I'm really sorry though. Keep up the fit-less state as well as you can - you're stronger than me! And I wish you all the luck possible. Very tough situation. You can PM if you like.


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Jonman
post Aug 2 2004, 09:00 AM
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From the brief bit of info you've posted, it sounds like the two of you have been plugging away at this for several years, without being able to find a mutually happy resolution to your relationship. Perhaps I'm being hasty, but that seems to me like there's a lesson to be learnt in there. Perhaps it just isn't meant to be. Perhaps it's time to cut your losses and move on.

Perhaps. (dammit, I've typed that word so many times it looks funny now).


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spiffilicious05
post Aug 2 2004, 02:00 PM
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That is tough. All I can say to you is to wait and see if you can get a hold of him or he can get a hold of you. Listen to his explination, and if it's plausable and if you decide that you can trust him then just forget the whole thing.


But that is a difficult situation to judge.


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Spacehappy
post Aug 2 2004, 05:25 PM
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Sounds like an icky situation. But as for the phones ignoring you bit, he could be skint. As per Jonmans post though i agree.
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Faerieryn
post Aug 2 2004, 06:03 PM
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Thanks guys. I have just tried to phone him again and his phone is still off which suggests that as he wasn't expecting a call from me he is either at work (which he usually has his phone on for anyway) or it has run out of battery and he has no way of charging i. The only problem now is how to contact him without being obvious that I am a borderline paranoid!


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If life hands you a lemon make lemonade, lace it with cyanide and then pass it around. What can I say I'm a revenge type of gal!!! Ryn
Wearing a large shiny tag around neck "Uncullable Faerie"
Official S P A N G L E R and self proclaimed protector of Tribe Wyvern- OOh Sparkly!!
Proud leader of the Super Spangler Squad. Me and Stardust wil spangle your a$$!!
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Forever Unknown
post Aug 3 2004, 02:48 PM
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I can understand it's a bit of a toughie, actually.

I'd, on the whole, agree with Jonman, though. I did the same thing with an ex for a while (three times in as many years, about once a year, we got back together). I've found when you keep going back it just keeps getting messier every time - the last time was very much the nail in the coffin for me and him.

The best advice I can think of is to just sit back and see what happens. All well and good to say, I know - but the truth always comes about eventually. However, you have every reason to be a little concerned in case something's happened, so if you do come across as borderline paranoid (Psh! "Borderline Paranoid". If you're going to do something, do it properly!) then just slide that in as an excuse.


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Cath Sparrow
post Aug 8 2004, 07:00 PM
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I've been brainwashed
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Sorry Sweetie I would tend to agree with Jonman you can't keep going with the if's and but's. I know how much you care for him but can keep ending up waiting for him to sort him self out and this friends business has been going on longer than 6 months now it's getting pretty close to a year now. You need to move on your starting a new job soon which going to be stressfull enough you dont need him playing you around to add to that.

*big big hugs*


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How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister? You're only young once but you can stay immature indefinetly!!!!



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