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> Save The Noob
DaBear69
post Sep 24 2004, 08:57 PM
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mmmmmmmmffffrrraaaaaah! ... man that hurt! Duct tape is quite sticky. wacko.gif

Hi all, it would seem that someone I thought I new coaxed me into posting for the first time in her game, and it would seem I have been led astray. dry.gif

The one thing I dd not know is that I must be adopted when I post for the first time, and I wound up duct taped to the cieling. What she doesn't realize is that I am quite capable of floating around on message boards quite well... um... so long as I ain't duct taped to the cieling, that is. tongue.gif

If someone could do me the kindest of a favor and cut me down from the ceiling, I would really appreciate it. I'd do it myself, but it'd take me a while to reach my handy-dandy swiss pocket knife. blush.gif

You can find me in Daft>Games>The Ongoing Story by Ashbless> page 2 ph34r.gif

--
Currently Da Noob


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Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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Ashbless
post Sep 24 2004, 10:23 PM
Post #2


I could have written a short novel by this point
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Mwahahaha

Um, you don't actually have to be adopted to post here. If you'd like to be then feel free to find someone to do so. They'll show you the ropes. It's a mentorship style of thing. See " do we have to be adopted? " here in Introductions for more info.

*passes up a beverage and a cookie*

What are you complaining about anyway? I gave you a spot on the ceiling. Do you know how many NoObs wanted that spot? There were probably two, maybe even three! tongue.gif laugh.gif

Now that you're in this bit there'll probably be more of the welcoming committee come by. There really isn't any escape though. ph34r.gif Generally the duct tape just gives way after you've enough posts under your belt. Or was that virtual food? I can never remember.


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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. - SpeakertotheLost
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sjbbandgeek
post Sep 25 2004, 02:47 AM
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...
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I want the n00b! All of mine have run away.
*slips out kukri, cuts dabear69 down, puts it in a fox cage*
Welcome to the forums!
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DaBear69
post Sep 25 2004, 04:14 AM
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QUOTE (sjbbandgeek @ Sep 24 2004, 08:47 PM)
I want the n00b! All of mine have run away.
*slips out kukri, cuts dabear69 down, puts it in a fox cage*
Welcome to the forums!
*


Awe crap!

closedeyes.gif

Does this mean I have to break out the can opener tool on my swiss army knife? I have to cut this fox cage off my head somehow. It's a shame bears don't fit in fox cages <sigh> I must look pretty silly.

<OOF!> Not to mention I can't see a thing with this contraption on my head. Where did that wall come from?

blink.gif

I smell cookies... and soda... mmmmmm...


--------------------
Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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DaBear69
post Sep 25 2004, 04:17 AM
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Yeah, I think it's the treats, Ash... and days of doing nothing... which leads to the expansion of the wasteline. Yeah, just what I need, a little expanding power to break the bonds of Noob bondage. dry.gif


--------------------
Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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Ashbless
post Sep 26 2004, 02:32 AM
Post #6


I could have written a short novel by this point
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*wanders back in, duct tapes DaBear back up*

Silly Bear, bars are for kits.

*removes fox cage and puts it where sjbbandgeek can find it*

Inexplicably has the theme from Batman in her head.

*goes to find Cath and her grenades*


--------------------
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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. - SpeakertotheLost
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DaBear69
post Sep 26 2004, 02:40 AM
Post #7


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Will Ashbless ever find Cath and her grenades? If so, what ever will she do with them?

Has Da Bear become stuck up, or will he come unglued?

Tune in tomorrow for another amazing tale of the "Super Noob"

--
Nana nana nana na--Bat-Bear!

Bat-Bear?!? Maybe a genetic moo-tant? biggrin.gif


--------------------
Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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Ashbless
post Sep 29 2004, 08:31 PM
Post #8


I could have written a short novel by this point
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*Riippp! - THUD.*

laugh.gif Yay! He's out of noob category. laugh.gif

You can still be adopted though - if you are keen.

I'd like to present D'Bear. I start the bidding at one salt-free cookie.


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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. - SpeakertotheLost
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sjbbandgeek
post Sep 30 2004, 01:03 AM
Post #9


...
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I bid three pounds of cheese
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the lil' pie...
post Sep 30 2004, 01:31 PM
Post #10


Don't you just love hot water bottles?
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Five barrels of rum?


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It's not so bad being trendy, everyone who looks like me is my friend...

SHINY...

Freshers Flu is a buttmunch.
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DaBear69
post Sep 30 2004, 03:38 PM
Post #11


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I bid Three turnips and a raisin!

... no... wait... this is me...

I can't bid on myself like that. blush.gif

...

...


I change my bid to a selection of fine Scotch and Irish whiskey!

--
<nirGlivE>

Yes, I realize the beauty of my plan is if I win the bid I don't have to share... heh heh heh <hic!> (still drunk on my own fiendishness).


--------------------
Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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Cath Sparrow
post Sep 30 2004, 06:53 PM
Post #12


I've been brainwashed
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*me sneaks in sticks granade to Da Bears back pulls pin and runs*

It not what Ash does with the granades you have to watch for! Oh dont worry if your lucky my adopted noob Quoth will be along shortly to spoil my fun and remove the granade. On the other hand she might not!!! evil.gif


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How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister? You're only young once but you can stay immature indefinetly!!!!



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DaBear69
post Oct 1 2004, 03:55 AM
Post #13


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Hmmm, this is going to take some clever thinking. Some very quick thinking if I'm going to get out of this without being blowed up...

Hmmm, how would Baloo handle this?

<Does the Baloo the Bear dance>

o/` Look for the - Bear necessities/ The simple bare necessities/ Forget about your worries and your strife./ You need the - Bear necessities/ Old mother nature's recipes/ To get the bare necessities of life... o/`

Anyone know where I can find a tree? I need a back-scratcher...


--------------------
Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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Cath Sparrow
post Oct 1 2004, 02:16 PM
Post #14


I've been brainwashed
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To late!!!!!



BOOOOOOM!!!!!



here's the needle and thread to sew your self back together!

Hey Quoth your slipping you missed one!!!!


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How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister? You're only young once but you can stay immature indefinetly!!!!



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DaBear69
post Oct 1 2004, 02:49 PM
Post #15


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Yeah, yeah... come on Bear pull yourself together.

!!!!!MOOOOOOB

...And now for a little super-glue. Great all around all purpose adhesive, you know. Needles and thread are just "sew" yesterday biggrin.gif .

<dab-dab-dab-dab... waits a few seconds for it to set, and dry so he doesn't stick to things>

Oh, yeah. Here's your grenade back. Sorry, couldn't find the pin... Oops! forgot... needs to be reassembled.

A little super glue... <dab-dab-dab> there you go.

ooOOps! Did I just superglue it to you? I'm sorry...

BTW... um... it won't work anymore. It's a dud, being pre-exploded and all. But you might find it a little difficult removing it from your hand. At least not without an "explosive" adhesive remover... try to stick aymore grenades to Noobs with that stuck to you... you just so mean! dry.gif But that's what'cha get for blowin' up endangered species tongue.gif

I looooove "Da Bear" brand Super-eGlue, it doesn't weaken with age.

<Leaves Cath with her Hand/Pin-Pulling-Appendage firmly superglued to the reassembled dud grenade, and dances away...>

o/` Look for Da - Bear necessities, the simple bare necessities... o/`


--------------------
Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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Cath Sparrow
post Oct 1 2004, 03:02 PM
Post #16


I've been brainwashed
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Cath has alway uses super glue (doesn't mater what brand it is) so has now developed a resistance to it. So reassembled granade is now sitting on the floor. evil.gif


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How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister? You're only young once but you can stay immature indefinetly!!!!



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DaBear69
post Oct 1 2004, 03:50 PM
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QUOTE (Cath @ Oct 1 2004, 09:02 AM)
Cath has alway uses super glue (doesn't mater what brand it is) so has now developed a resistance to it. So reassembled granade is now sitting on the floor. evil.gif
*


Hmmf... really?

<Big sarcastic grin on his face, he reaches into a two dimensional pocket dimension and pulls out a strange looking golf(?) bag... not very big at all, but not made of leather, either. Instead it is made of some sort of black large-scaly hide of some sort, and emblazoned in gold leaf on the side with the initials "DGB". He steps into the opening of the strange golf bag... obviosly the bag contains some sort of pocket dimension for such a huge Bear to slip into such a small bag.

<The sounds of construction and the clicking of a ratchet can be heard from within for a few minutes... then all goes quiet... only a greenish glow can be seen eminating from the open mouth of the strange bag, and a slow trickle of some black oily substance leaks ever so inoccuously from the open top, to drip down the side and congeal on the floor...>


--------------------
Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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Cath Sparrow
post Oct 1 2004, 05:38 PM
Post #18


I've been brainwashed
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*Cath disappears into her transdimentional wardrobe which then disappears in a twinkle*


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How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister? You're only young once but you can stay immature indefinetly!!!!



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DaBear69
post Oct 1 2004, 06:21 PM
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<Echos of laughter can be heard from deep within the golf bag... strange, insane, manical laughter...>

heh heh heh... hahahaha... mwha-ha! MWA-HAHA! MWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahaha--

<Cough! Cough! Wheeze!>

heeheeheehee... evil.gif

--

I now realize the old saying is true; laughing last really is best.


--------------------
Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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Quoth(The Raven)
post Oct 3 2004, 02:17 AM
Post #20


Meow!
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...No one expects the Spanish Inquisition...

(Looks around, sees only a golf bag...)

Oh, geez... Late, again. Now, what shall I do with this exploding Armadillo? The fuse is lit, an' everything... Oh, well...

(Throws armadillo into the only available recepticle... The golfbag...) <Sighs>

Better luck, next time I guess...

(Slouches out, dispiritedly...)

(From Golfbag): Oh, no!

<Boooom!>


--------------------
Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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DaBear69
post Oct 3 2004, 03:19 AM
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<The muffled explosion sends a gout of oily black honey-like liquid spraying from the mouth of the DGB, hosing everyone and everything in the vacinity...>

<Poking head out of the bag...>

HAHAHAHA! Suckerrrr! See what you did? You covered everyone in Dripping Sarcasm... Hey, you're not Cath!

Rule number one: "Never throw explosives into strange pocket dimensions without knowing what's inside, silly Raven... har har har!

Now, just where is it did you think you were going, young lady?

<Hands Quoth a mop, and a towel>

Now, towel off, and mop up that sarcasm. You made the mess, you clean it up. And be careful, that stuff's corrosive. It'll eat through almost anything... 'cept dragon scales, for some wierd reason. I'll be right back...

<From somewhere deep inside what sounds like to be a reeeeeeeeally BIG cavern...>

Now where was I? Ah yes, there we go! Settings... Sub-Pulsar Level 5, Implosion Factor 2. Perfect! "Ignore targets: Da Bear." Excellent! Encrypting... Voi la! Locating test subject... I've got tone!

Fire In The Hole!

<ka-CHUNK! Followed by a high velocity projectile of some sort shooting out of the mouth of the DGB on it's way to find it's target...>


--------------------
Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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Quoth(The Raven)
post Oct 3 2004, 03:26 AM
Post #22


Meow!
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(With a whispered prayer, turns into a raven, and flies off panel...)
Nevermore!
(Disapears into the darkness of the cavernous deeps of the Matazone, to plan revenge)


--------------------
Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Quoth(The Raven)
post Oct 3 2004, 03:32 AM
Post #23


Meow!
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From: The land of the fireant
Member No.: 1,296
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(after arriving in her own pocket dimension, Quoth becomes human and applies Milk Of Human Kindness, to sarcasm burns...) Ooooh! No more Ms. Nice guy!


--------------------
Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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DaBear69
post Oct 3 2004, 03:32 AM
Post #24


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Hey, don't blame me. I wasn't the one who threw the exploding armadillo into--

--um ... ... exploding Armadillo?!? dry.gif


--------------------
Da Bear

Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, and if you let the system beat you down long enough it's bound to get tired... eventually.
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Ashbless
post Oct 3 2004, 03:34 AM
Post #25


I could have written a short novel by this point
************

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INCOMING!

*avalance of ice cream from the upper reaches of the roof*
*Ashbless, hanging out among the taped Noobs, straps on a snowboard and slides down the slope, scoops Flamestryke's golf bag and skiis out the door*

Byeee!


--------------------
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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. - SpeakertotheLost
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