Ah, the medical thing... Does that extend to other medical equipment too, or is it just leg braces?

Personally I find the vibration of power tools quite annoying, but then again I am male so perhaps don't have quite the same response to such things!

*adds hammer drill to tara's christmas list*

mata, men are supposed to treat power tools like weapons, esspecially, but not limited to battery drills/drivers

I am going to respond to this now instead of reading the rest of the posts because, despite the fact that it's probably already been said somewhere, this is a personal matter to me.

You can think what you like. You can generalize all you want. You can even suggest that somebody in their right mind might pay a loopy person like you to professionally dominate them. You cannot, however, tell me about what is on *my* mind when I fantasize, when I masturbate, when I make love to my husband, when I kneel down in front of my Master, when I tie a boy up so he can't get away, or when I eat my cereal in the morning the next day.
I don't want any woman to feel as though she's bizarre because some weird girl showed up and decided to proclaim fetish a man's thing from her... professional point of view. I don't love the shoes and the fetish fashions. I don't love the dress-up parties where people get dressed to the nines and then stand around uncomfortably (via outfit or arousal) trying to make small talk. I like it when we turn up in whatever we want and then all of the sudden it doesn't matter what I was wearing because it didn't stay on long anyway. I like it when people are watching. I like it when I don't know who they are. I like it hard and soft, I like it physical and mental, I like it fast and slow, I like it when I didn't know it was going to happen and I'm suprised so hard that I can't catch my breath until it's over.

I'm not talking about sex.

Tell me again that women don't have fetishes.

Kat
(aka Mrs. Jonman)

See, you have a good imagination, just my point!
I am not trying to tell you what you think etc, thats for you to decide what is fetish & what is fantasy....2 different things!!
I did`nt insult you with terms of `loppy`, but you did, wheres your perceptions in life? What do you know about me for that matter?
Nor, I about you. I talk from a distanced perspective, you talk from a personal perspective. I have no problems with that, but you do???

It would be a lovely imagination if I only had to imagine about these things. Unfortuantely, I *need* BDSM (specifically power exchange and pain elements) in order to achieve orgasm. Sexual gratification is important to me. If that's the route I need to take to get there, I'm just pleased I have a willing partner.
You may not have insulted me personally but you did make a much bigger folly of insulting me *along with* the rest of my female fetish friends. You talk from a distanced prospective but you make sweeping generalizations. Furthermore, any time someone makes a valid point (ie Lesbian BDSM or personal accounts) you don't respond at all. You didn't leave it up to anyone to decide what is fetish and what is fantasy. You clearly stated that men have fetishes and women don't. As a woman, as a bdsm community member, as someone who has been involved with BDSM for more than ten years, I have to say you're ignorant in the area that you claim to 'specialize' in.

<this post was removed by me... on second thought>

But I do acknowledge the BDSM community, I am a part of such communities as well as offering professionalism to a few.
I do also accept that the lesbian BDSM community is about fantasy & fetish also... but what exactley is your interpretation of fantasy as apposed to fetish?
I am interested?

I know I'm not kisah (to whom the question was aimed), but to me a fantasy is something you in your mind, a scenario of some type that you live out in your imagination. But a fetish has some sort of physical implication.
For example, someone could fantasise about being dominated, bound, punished etc. But for it to actually be a fetish they must engage in the physical act and enjoy it, and as you probably well know, in that sense, there is a difference between fetish and fantasy.

Blackgrass,

Considering that many women have stated that they imagine fetishistic activity, that they engage in fetishistic activity, that they desire fetishistic activity, and that they actively seek fetishistic activity in their personal lives then I think that any definition of 'fetish' that you may have in your mind will have been covered by one of these items.

Isn't it just possible that Camille Paglia might have been wrong? And do you appreciate why your views are seen by others as offensive to women?

You also state that Paglia's views have nothing to do with Freud, but considering that she is a highly literate person working in the field of gender studies I cannot imagine that there is any way in which she has had no encounter with his ideas. To take Freud's idea of the phallic symbol as an example: when Freud proposed the idea it may or may not have been strictly true (and many of his analyses have been later shown to be of rather dubious value) but it has become so widely known in culture that many accept it as the absolute truth without any question. Just because Paglia does not refer to Freud it doesn't mean that she is not tacitly accepting his ideas.

Certainly her notions of feminine power are interesting, but they just aren't backed up by the lives of modern women. She was writing some of her most influential work at the end of the 1980s when it was fashionably dangerous to argue that women were really empowered:

"I've always felt that prostitutes are in control of the streets, not victims. I admire that -- zooming here and there, escaping the police, being shrewd, living by your wits, being street smart. I think that with prostitution, getting the money is control. I identify with that. In college and even in high school, I did not as a woman like the situation of giving it away for free.

"I view the prostitute as one of the few women who is totally in control of her fate, totally in control of the realm of sex. The lesbian feminists tried to take control of female sexuality away from men -- but the prostitute was doing that all along."

The myth that she creates is an appealing one, but again it ignores the way that many have lived their lives. I have know people who have made a good living selling sex for a time in their lives and have no regrets about that, I have known others that were massively exploited, hooked on drugs, and were in no control of their lives whatsoever. Just because Paglia likes the idea of something being true it does not mean that it actually is.

The idea of 'street smarts' was incredibly desirable during the 1980s, and so to suggest that prostitutes possess this is a way of empowering the mythology of the business, but it's not always like that.

Yes, some women probably do only go along with fetish play because they have internalised a desire of their male partner, but there are many who do not (again with the prominent example of lesbians who enjoy BDSM, although Paglia does seem to have issues with lesbianism anyway, in a manner that was very much of the time). Paglia's ideas may be right for some people, but others find it extremely insulting to be told that what they feel is just them kidding themselves. You seem to be a person who is content with your line of work, which is great for you, others are not happy in it but have little way of escape, others outside of the trade would try to tell you that you are not actually happy, but that you are fooling yourself into believing that you are happy because it fulfils a role within the male patriarchal social structure. No doubt you would tell these people that you are wrong and an empowered woman, but their assertion is of an identical nature to that of Paglia's, which you are now reciting as scripture.

No-one can really say things that are true for absolutely everyone of a gender, and even small generalisations will often be flawed. The statement that normal women are incapable of having fetishes has been proven wrong on the grounds of solid empirical evidence.

If you are suggesting that the women who have so far written in this thread do not have fetishes, then I see no flaw in arguing that men do not either! Perhaps women really are in control, and men have no fetishes but instead those that believe that they do are just poor misguided men who have had dominant women's ideas of female sexuality thrust on them and they have fooled themselves into believing that the source of an idea is really them. Obviously, this is utter nonsense, but it follows exactly the same reasoning as your statements derived from Paglia.

how about looking at it as a fantasy can include a fetish, or not

eg: One can fantasise about a BDSM scenario, and the BDSM part is a the fetish element of the fantasy. But one can also fantasise about having sex on a beach in the tropical moonlight - does that mean one has a tropical moonlit beach fetish? I don't think so cause for 'most' people thinking about beaches or seing a photo of a beach isn't particularly an arousing thing, whereas, as I understand it, if you have a BDSM fetish thinking about or even seeing a piece of bondage equipment is arousing.

Does that make sense?

Away from the purely sexual aspect, what about non sexual fetish & fantasy?
I have friends who are into body mod and suspensions. I'd consider that to be a non sexual, or not entirley sexual fetish. And I know people who fantasise about playing in the world cup final - a fantasy, but again not sexual.

*points at bel* what she said, my post isn't as good

I have a few fetishes. Hands, feet, hair, and teeth lol.
Fantasy? I wanna have sex in the shower...yeah

I've been on the fetish scene for many years now, and there is DEFINATELY a difference between fetish and fantasy. One is more likely to make tactile contact with the object of the fetish (eg me and a De Walt drill) to physically get them off.
Actually, even looking at pictures of power tools is highly erotic for me, so would therefore be my "fetish". My own definition of a "fantasy" is to create a scenario, either in your own head or through roleplay, then for this to be "acted out" in some way.
Kisah, I agree with you as I am very much into the BDSM scene(as a top rather than a bottom!!). I do not need it as you do, but incorporate many elements of it into both my fantasies and fetishes.
In fact, fantasizing about my fetishes is one of my comforts at bedtime!!

I never got the whole S&M thing... It's always been a bit of a turn off, actually (I think it has something to do with my being molested as a child, but I won't swear to it.) But to each his own.

I forgot to talk about my biting fetish, though. On the neck and ears, but preferably not getting me bloodied up. I've also got a bit of a fetish for girls that dance seductively, guys that dance close, and masturbation. "Dirty talk" is kind of cool sometimes, though. And I'm a big fan of water. Pool sex, shower sex, rain sex, it's all good.

Oh, psychwardmike...i was, too...but it doesn't really....bug me, i mean, yeah, sure, sometimes...but it hasn't affected my sexual desires. i like biting, nibbling, scratching, etc... so it hasn't stopped my kink-side as of yet
actually, i rather like holding my breath for a while...gives you quite a head rush, though you ought to make sure your partner is ok with it ; lest he become concerned.
just...when you finally get that rush of air back, it's like everything is rushing in all at once.
*blushes quite a bit*

That sounds like a lower level version of autoerotic-asphixiation, and yes, you do need to let your partner know about such things. I suspect this is why some women enjoy wearing corsets during sex. Apparently the difficulty bearthing heightens an orgasm.

And here's something for Saucy

You

don't

know

what

that

has

just

done

to

me.........



Gosh what a time to be listening to Laibach AND now power tool pic???



(will tell you at ultraviolence

'auto' erotic asphyxiation is when it's all just you
hence the word 'auto'
...i suppose when it's with someone else, it's just 'erotic asphyxiation?'

...
Hmm...

No, that's assault, rape, attempted murder and/or grievous bodily harm.

wow, polo, that's quite a list of kinks you have there

You should just be glad that I've never acted upon them.


Yet.

*Thunder cracks*

Oh bananas! I apologise, I can't spell! I ment to offer my apologies.
Anyone got a spade?
yours in randomness!
RG

I have a thing for earlobes, just thinking about nibbling on an earlobe turns me on... which is bad concidering I'm going to spend the rest of my life staring at other peoples ears for my work.

Okay - fetish I suppose...

Having my neck bitten, that little bit just between your shoulder and neck. A couple of bites and I'm pretty much anyones (more so than usual, I mean ).


*runs away giggling like a little girl*

I've been around and seen some of the BDSM stuff knowing full-well that there's much more that I haven't seen and already it's too much for me. I'll do the love bites and the hard thrustings and occasionally some of the scratchings but that's about it for me. I tried the tying down thing and the blindfold thing and just, no. I have these long, drawn-out beliefs as to why my sexuality should not include pain (they're quite complicated and I don't want to go into them for fear of crashing Mata's server). Suffice it to say my life is destructive enough and sex should be constructive, if that makes sense. I'll refrain from the slapping, whipping, handcuffing, etc. As for you cats, live and let live.

I fantasize sometimes about group sex, but I'm pretty sure that would lead to heartache more than anything. I don't know for sure, but considering how I get with depression, I don't want to risk it.

On a lighter, sillier note, I work construction. I'm around power tools all day. From now on, I will be thinking about her Sauciness every day I'm at work.

I have a few fetishes, one I will tell and one, I'm not going to say. I have a slight fetish for feet.



I have more or less thought about it like one would glancing at someone, but I haven't visualized it in my mind. I think it would be sort of interesting.




(Don't you all love how college makes people more open?)

[spam]

Dude, I was open way before I went to university.
[/spam]

Anyhow, I thought about something today at university: For me, food, sex and violence (which includes pain), either two of the three or all, can't occupy my mind at the same time. When I'm imagining bashing Spiffy's asshole exboyfriend in the face with a shovel, my mind won't jump to fond memories of me and Spiff making out on my couch. Alternately, if I'm eating something with my belovéd, I'd better eat fast because one kiss and my appetite's gone. This I figure can hinder my kinkiness. I could cut loose a little with chicks I didn't really care about or love, but once emotion comes into play, hell no.

Another silly note to end on: I was looking for the corded drill in my garage today and had a monologue conversation with myself similar to this:

"Hmm. Cordless drill won't work...Heh. There's the angle drill. That would be fun to use. Yeah right...Damn there are a lot of tools in this place...Hmm. On the remote chance that she would visit, I'd better not show Saucy Tara the garage. Otherwise she might want to move in."

Never will power tools be pure to me...

Showmethegarageshowmethegarageshowmethegararge......

*debates taking Tara to Axminster*

Mata, why haven't we heard about your fetishes? You sure have posted a lot on this topic and it really makes me wonder.

And for the person that was molested as a child and considers BDSM a turn off. Many that have been molested or raped as a child or in older years find S&M as a way to deal with what has happened to them either as a bottom as a top. Sometimes acting out what has happened in a controlled atmosphere is very helpful to those people. Maybe you should look into it?

I don't see the massive thrill in BDSM myself, I've a friend who organises the local groups partys and munches, and runs a bondage photo website. But I don't see the extreme turn on that others get. I've done photo shoots for the site which generally involve getting tied to all sorts of things and I just don't find it all that exciting, hysterically funny in places, specially if I fall over, some of the out-takes must be classic, but not really a turn on.

This thread has got me thinking if I do have any fetishes, and I'm starting to come to the comclusion that personaly I don't. I have plenty of fantasies, some more far fetched or exciting than others, but nothing that I'd classify as being a fetish.

I feel quite left out

I think I'll keep away from it, thanks. Just not a turn on for me at all.

Though do you know what's really been my fancy lately? ANYTHING THAT MOVES.

[/anger that he hasn't been able to hook up with anyone lately.]

I had a very pleasant upbringing, admittedly I was always quite distant from my family in emotional terms, but these days I'm working on building bridges and there's a lot of mutual respect there. Things are actually very positive with my family, and I am always grateful to my parents for the care that they gave to me through my life. I'm a lucky person in that respect. So, my childhood is nothing to do with why I have not discussed personal fetishes on here.

The reason, since you ask, is more of a political one. I run this forum, and as such I have certain responsibilities.

In that I own the site, I am in an interesting position. Technically I have a modicum of power on here, and as such some may assume that this would lead to abuse of such power. For this reason it is important that I keep discussion of my personal sexual habits off of these forums so that accusations of impropriety cannot be placed at me. If people do not know the details of my sex life then any argument stating that I am attempting to lure others into more corrupt ways is deprived of any circumstantial evidence.

It is a sad reflection of the times that I need to take such precautions, but there it is. I, and my team of mods, have a duty to protect people on here that are at a more vulnerable point in their lives. I feel that if I were to discuss my personal life here, in the manner that you suggest, then I would be hindered in performing that duty.

There is also the point that my girlfriend would not appreciate me discussing such things in public (should any exist to be discussed), and I have to respect her wishes on this.

[QUOTE]

I didn't mean that you were sexually abused Mata, I was responding to Psych Ward Mike. Sorry if any offense was taken.

And yes I suppose for all your eloquently spoken reasons, I understand why you would not want to share these types of things with all of us. Especially the girfriend one. Sorry for asking!

I had forgotten that reply. I seem to do that a lot... I should probably keep a record of all my posts or something so that I really know just how much I'm embarrassing myself...

Ah right, that makes more sense now!

No problem about asking, 'glad my answers make sense!

Yes, Mata. We all know that whatever the girlfriend says goes. We as guys learn that the two golden sentences in a relationship are "I love you," and "Yes, dear."

More odd than anything, my cop friend told me that there's this random chick somewhere in the county (he's a county cop) who has a cop fettish. If you're a cop, she'll try to jump your bones. She's not even subtle about it, either. She was feeling all over Chris trying to be cute. Keep in mind, she's acted like this toward every cop (every cop; age and appearence don't matter) and has even gotten a few takers. "Why didn't you arrest her?" "Man, I don't want her anywhere near my patrol car! Who knows what she has!"

That's right up there with Her Sauciness's love of power tools.

Hehehe, I hear you.

The fetishes I have aren't really very interesting, so I sha'n't bore you with them, at least not here. For some reason I'm slightly averse to these discussions, probably from years of enduring thinly-veiled bragging about sexual exploits on other message-boards. Fetishes are interesting things, though.

Went to B&Q at the weekend
serious attack of the giggles inthe power tools section while my dad was looking for a drill bit to help me fit doors in my house - couldn't explain to him what was so funny.

Men in leather pants are yummy. That's a fantasy... I don't think I have any fetishes, really.

Lol, intriguing indeed!
I'll just say-Alex from Clockwork Orange. Mmmm...
XxX

My girlfriend and I have been playing a lot recently... biting absolutely rules. Woo hoo! Almost makes me stop hating the goths that think they are vampires. Almost.

*Touches slightly tender neck*

Ooooo!

Heh... I've known my bruises to last for over a week...

Heh. That's my girlfriend's fair. She has braces, but likes to bite so I let her do it until she catches me skin in her braces. Don't care, that hurts. Then I go to her and damned if she doesn't always tell me to go harder. I've felt things crunch and squish and all manners of things, but it's always "Harder, harder!" Suffice to say her neck is rather bruised for days, even weeks afterwards

(And if artist.unknown happens to read that, keep it under your hat, love?)

Psychobabble

Misty Rain

Licking strawberry jam off piano legs is nice.

I know - I know

Why strawberry - why pianos?

IT JUST IS OK?!!!!!


Misty Rain

Long or short?

What colour?

Misty Rain

[quote=PsychWardMike,Nov 25 2004, 04:09 PM]
My girlfriend and I have been playing a lot recently... biting absolutely rules. Woo hoo! Almost makes me stop hating the goths that think they are vampires. Almost.

I drive goths sometimes.
Know a few.

Why the hate?

Misty Rain

First that's sarcasm. Secondly, I won't go into my rant about goths right now as I don't feel like typing or getting onto the bad sides of the mods. Suffice to say, their hypocrisy and judgemental attitudes in the name of group individuality piss me the hell off.

Back on subject: Public sexcapeds are good fun, too. Never having sex of course, but fooling around while in public is great... such an adrenaline rush.

Long leather pants. I've never seen short ones.
Black is always supersexy. But I've seen nice red ones, and some nice shiny pvc things.

Oooh, and long hair can be supersexy too.