Throw it into some cheese dip and watch the chaos ensue (from personal experiance)

Gold

Throw it away.

Calendar

cut out the pictures and frame them...

Moonshine

moonbathe

Vaseline.

Valve oil.

Valve oil.

Soak a piece of music that you don't like in it, and burn it - you get a pretty blue flame, not that I'd KNOW or anything...

Uniforms

Make scarecrows of 'em...

Giraffes

Make ladders out of them

Laserdisc

Make a circle out of loads of them, and you've got a laserdisc-o. Party time.

empty bottles.

really bad bad bad sex toys

cucumbers

really bad sex toys.

A candle.

You couldn't resist could you?
REALLY, REALLY bad sex toys

moving off of that subject....
a necklace

Whip.

Old sock. [Say sex toy and I'll glare at you.]

Dusting cloth (Seriously)

a scratched DVD

Plate for donuts.

old chewed up dog toy that used to be a butterfly.

New-age bow tie

a frisbee

Pooper Scooper.

Human hair.

Nasty teastrainer

burnt biscuits

Objects to throw out windows onto random passer-bys

A dried-up sponge

Dress it up, and give it to a kid as a spongebob toy...

A dead potted plant...

goat food

The letter P

turn it sideways, turn it into a smilie...

melted ice cream...

lickable finger paint.

a shoelace

Garrote on the cheap...

Tube of Toothpaste

Hahahaha^ *dies of laughter*^

assuming it's full, cheap and "different" highlights.

A half-deflated balloon

weird suppossitory...

Uncooked spaghetti

My mind thinks too much

A wig.

A wig.

Stick a handle to it... make it a mop...

Wagon wheel

^has actually done that. Quite amusing.

stick it to a fan, turn on the fan, and watch it spin.

Crumpled printer paper.

Kitty Toy (Sister had a cat that would play fetch...)...

Turkey Feathers

attach them to your wrists to get awesome bracelets.

grape jelly.

Use as a lubricant, for what, I don't know.

KY jelly

artificial slime for deficient snails...

Atari Game systems

Archeological investigation into how ancient cultures entertained themselves.

Keywords.

Rearrange 'em into swords and keys...

old disposable razors...

load them into a cannon for grapeshot.


Cannons.

Ouch!

DEcoreative flower pots...

Aluminum cans

Stilts

post-it notes

Stick them all over your body for a stylish business-casual look

Half a gumball

turn it into a lickable broach

a staple

straightened out, it's a tiny piece of wire... (Sorry. They can't all be Gems...)

used Bubble gum?

used correctly, it can hang up wall decorations.

a single playing card.

If one of the face cards, a nice poster for Barbie...

Half a Yoyo (A yo, maybe?)

Float it and it becomes a ferry for ants

a lump of mashed potatoes

edible missile

used tongue depressor

Kinky popsicle stick

Eww....even I'm grossed out.

empty pudding cup

Fill it with stale beer, and you have a slug trap...

scuffed ping pong ball

^slugs are attracted to beer? Who knew?

replace it with a golf ball to play an April fool's Day trick on someone.

A crochet needle.

erm ... horseshoe

horseshoe

Force a demon to walk under it and hey-presto! Instant fire-lighter

Donkey