So... I'm bored and I often chastise myself for not reading the forums often enough. I decided to give this a whirl because even if nobody uses it I still need to come check and see and that will make me read the rest of the stuff on here.

It made sense a moment ago.

Anyway, in case anybody doesn't know- I'm a chef. That is to say, I went to a Culinary University in the US and I graduated, I once owned part of a restaurant that shortly went bankrupt, and I cooked for a major league baseball team for a season (they made it to the 'world series' that year too. I'm sure it was my cooking that did it. Don't ask me why it's called the world series when only the US participate- that's Jonman's area.) That said, I'm not presently working as a professional chef nor do I see myself doing so any time in the near future.

Seems like a waste of a lot of information that I'm still paying for, no?

Prompted by a question about cooking directed at me in Jonman's thread I am officially inviting any cooking queries, recipe requests, and general cooking banter.

O wondrous Kisah:

Steak.

I love it. Unconditionally. Nothing better than a good, bloody steak.

That said, though, steak is steak. What can I do to make it a bit more interesting?

Mmmm. Steak. I have to say that steak is easily one of my favorite foods. One of the primary things to consider when you're cooking steak is the method. Now, obviously if you like your steak on the rare side you probably already know the importance of an incredibly hot pan. Ridged and non-stick is my preference bcause it leaves the nice grill marks on the steak. You *can* do steak under the grille of your oven, or (ofcourse) over an open flame outside. No matter what, make sure that it's really really hot because that is going to sear the flavor into the meat and keep it from stewing in it's own juice.

Ideally, you want to put salt and pepper on your steak as soon as you get it home. This allows the seasoning to get into the meat and the salt also helps the heat sear the meat. Salt makes things retain water, so, if you eat a lot of salt you can feel bloated. This works for the steak so that the salt you added helps the steak stay juicy when you cook it.

I found a few fun steak recipes that might be more interesting:

Tequila Steaks
Steak with Mushroom Sauce

Another way to make steak more interesting is with a marinade. This is usually a combination of a few ingredients to infuse flavor into your steak. Usually I would recommend mixing the marinade in a ziplock plastic bag, putting your steak in the bag and pressing all the air out before sealing it. This will make the marinade stick to your meat. You should marinade for a few hours at least. Ideally, plan ahead and do it overnight. Keep the bag, steak, and marinade in the fridge no matter how long you're leaving it for.

Steak marinade
Black Steak
Somebody's blog entry about steak

You can always throw together a marinade on your own, just make sure that there is something acidic (vinegar, soy sauce, wine) and some sort of oil (olive oil is best, melted butter not recommended). The oil is especially important if you're using dried herbs because oil brings out their flavor.

Hope that helps and happy cooking.

Thanks, kisah!

I'm only just learning how to cook - something of a necessity as I'm going off to university in October - and I'm finding that I rather enjoy it. So I may well be coming back here a few times in the future

Kisah, you are my god! I am going to force my parents to use those ideas the very next time we have steak!

Do you have any suggestions for potatoes, O wise chef?

What about sunflower oil in a marinade?

Also, oven chips are frequently bland and boring; do you have a way to improve them?

Ooo, good idea, I'm off in October too and I'll need to know how to cook...roughly
I love pasta. Do you know any pasta dishes as easy as spag bol, but more original??

Dear Kisah,

Are you wearing a frilly apron?

Yours in lip licking anticipation.

(I'm guessing that this is supposed to go somewhat along the same lines of Jonman's thread, so I'll stick to the letter format. )

Dear Kisah,

Do you think cooking school was worth it? Did you learn more from it than you could have from just picking up lots of cook books? I've often thought about attending, though I have no plans to cook professionally. I just like to cook and want to do it better.

And, on a sidenote, did you ever figure out what's up with the big, white chef's hat? Why do people wear that? Heck, why do people wear white at all when cooking?

Always curious,
-Fey

Dear Kisah,

Do you know of a good way to convert those odd english temperature measurements into good old fashioned farenheit? I bought a lovely cookbook with interesting recipes and it sits gathering dust as I've no idea what "set the oven to 4" means.

Yours,
Val

Dear Kisah,

Why am I writing 'Dear Kisah'? Do you and Jonman have some secret technique for turning yourselves into Agony Aunts/Uncles?

Yours hungrily,

Cooky McChef

Wow, This took off faster than I expected!

Wow... what to say about potatoes... Cheese! We're pretty boring about potatoes. They are a great piece of food really. You can either put forth a bunch of energy (Duchess or Dolphine) or you can just throw them in the oven (baked, jacket, roasties).

My favorite is mashed. Sometimes we boil a sweet potato with the whites (maybe one for every four whites) and mash them all together. sweet potato mash all it's own is super yum, especially with pork. Just make sure that the milk/cream and butter that you add to the drained potatoes is warmed up a little (I said a *little*, scalded milk makes icky mashers) for that extra special creamy loveliness.

Sunflower oil will work fine in a marinade.

The only thing I do to liven up oven chips is an americanism... See, there's a salad dressing called 'Ranch' which is a creamy kind of... well, you can't describe it. It's yum! So, some people like to make their own salad dressing at home... without having to have a million ingredients on hand. They sell these packets of dried salad dressing mix. Either, just add oil, or just add mayonaise... you get the picture. ANYWAY... I have a stash of this stuff that my mom sent me from the states and the powder is perfect for sprinkling on oven chips. Yummmy!

Unfortunately, this isn't very helpful advice for those of us living in the UK. A few suggestions came up from my mind and Jonman... He suggests salt, ketchup, or brown sauce... Mmm hmmm. I thought of garlic salt. It's available in the spice section of the store. Jonman also suggests mixing mayo and ketchup into an atomic dressing.

Sorry I can't help more, oven chips are what they are.

Well, that all depends on how you make your spag bol... ours consists of me spending a few hours rolling out sheets of homemade pasta and Jonman nursing a sauce for a good few hours. I can hardly think of a less easy pasta dish.

Obviously, you're going to have to be a magician to find a dinner easier than dried pasta and a jar of sauce. They are, however, starting to branch out with the pastas and sauces available in stores. They probably have some interesting jarred sauces besides tomato (carbonara perhaps?) and they definately have a huge range of pastas. I highly recommed the wholewheat pasta. It's a little darker in color and the flavor is slightly more round and almost a little nutty. There is also the ever-present rack of sauce sachets available in UK grocery stores. Everything from lasagne cheese sauce (just add milk?) to instant carbonara. Pair any of this stuff up with a nice pasta (that isn't over cooked) and you're in for a treat.

Like sticking with the tomato sauce? Bertoli makes a nice line of yummy sauces (the grilled vegetable one is especially nice on grilled pizza bagels if you have leftovers) and I think they sell ready grilled chicken breasts/tenderloins that you can chop up and toss in the sauce for some umph. We especially like the slices of frozen garlic bread you can toss under the grill for a few minutes to go with our pasta.

Hope this helps and happy cooking.

Dear Kisah,

I don't know if you would know this but it has baffled me for some time. But what do the numbers on a standard toaster indicate? They don't seem to be values of temperature or number of minutes. Is number 4 twice number 2 on a standard toaster?

Yours in need of a piece of toast.

MrTeapot.

Nope! I'm wearing a brownish sort of army looking combat apron with loads of pockets however jonman has a frilly little number complete with inflatable boobs!

That's a tough question to answer... I always wanted to be a chef growing up so I think I probably did a lot of cooking along the way. That meant that I already knew not to put metal bowls in the microwave and the like. I'm sure it's one of those cases where you learn more than you notice. I definately learned a lot about sauces and stocks. I learned TONS about pastry (my major) that I would have never learned from a book. There are little tricks that the chefs in culinary school have gained from being professional chefs out in the world that they share with you and you couldn't get from books. I think I definately learned a ton... but it was by no means worth the 30K I paid for it. Especially now that I'm sure I want to be a teacher!

Here's what I can tell you about chef hats and whites. When you're not the head chef you wear a little white cloth hat in the kitchen, it fastens around your head and keeps all your hair away from the food. The tall hats are to show authority and it helps for the boss to wear it because if he/she is short you can still see them coming. There are 101 pleats in a paper chef's hat and they symbolize the 101 ways to cook an egg. (Don't even bother asking what they are because I'll ignore you). Chefs wear white to try to convey their cleanliness. They don't want to hide stains and dirt behind a loud print. Chef's jackets are double breasted so that if you do happen to splatter something on yourself you can switch which side is out.

I can't teach you a handy way of converting but I can just give you the answers.
These read temp F, temp C, Gas mark... I'd make a handy chart but I cant be bothered.

225 F 110 C 1/4 Very cool
250 F 130 C 1/2
275 F 140 C 1 cool
300 F 150 C 2
325 F 170 C 3 very moderate
350 F 180 C 4 moderate
375 F 190 C 5
400 F 200 C 6 moderately hot
425 F 220 C 7 hot
450 F 230 C 8
475 F 240 C 9 very hot

We're Jedi Masters.

It's not a linear scale, that much is for sure. There's also no difference in temperature either. I think you should stick a thermometer in one and time each setting then release the data for the rest of the world.

what colour are your light sabres? is jonman's pink and flowery and yours brown with a wooden spoon hilt?

...what? yeah so i've been playing star wars games again....

Jonman's is cowprint and mine is paisley. What do you think I'd need a wooden spoon for if I had a light sabre?

Maybe it'd give you a little more... you know - flare.

Dear Kisah,

I bought Tofu instead of a carton of Passata by mistake the other day, but thought I'd try it.
I followed the suggestion on the back, drain Tofu, marinate in soy for a bit then stir fry till golden and add veg and chilli.
Is it supposed to look and taste like polystyrine with the texture of firm hair-gel or did I mess up? The veg and sauce were really good, but the Tofu was rank and disgusting!

I can usually cook really really well so I was very dissapointed that this went so badly

bel.

....I bit into a lump of deepfried tofu once....stupid japanese restaurent...still...sushi was nice....

*goes to brush teeth* urgh...tofu....

Ahhh Tofu... some swear by it, others despise it and it's no wonder, most people don't know what to do with it. Personally, I usually leave my tofu preparation to the experts (sushi chefs, chinese restaraunts, etc). I don't dislike tofu, I've just never been hugely successful with it. Here are a couple of things I can tell you about tofu:

Some webpages compare the versatility of tofu to that of the potato. They both taste quite bland when eaten alone and they can be added to just about anything.
If you freeze firm tofu and then defrost it the texture and color changes. I think defrosted tofu has a nice consistency although some people might consider it spongey. Defrosted tofu is good for slicing and grilling or stir frying. It still soaks up the flavors you cook it with but the texture is more pleasant to me.

Soy products aren't limited to just tofu. In my restaurant we used to make vegitarian chili and also vegitarian sloppy joes. We fed them both to a couple of burley local cops and they were totally suprised when we said they were vegetarian versions. The product we used to create that mince texture was called TVP (texturized vegetable protein) or TSP (texturized soy protein). I think TVP is pretty flipping cool, expecially since it's soooo good for you and is nearly indistinguishable from real mince when cooked properly. I want to try it with taco or burrito seasoning. I can't say whether or not it's available in the UK.

My own experience with tofu is mostly through sauces, soups, and milkshakes. I regularly threw a few chunks of silken (super soft) soy into a sauce or soup to thicken it up. Food processors and blenders are especially good to keep the texture consistent. You can usually substitute sour cream with silken tofu in dips and spreads. I'm pretty sure that some of my friends use silken tofu to make 'scrambled eggs'... but I'm not convinced. I also went through a phase where 'breakfast' was a ritual of me throwing a scoop of rice dream, some soy milk, a banana, some all-bran, a small chunk of silken tofu, and a generous helping of chocolate syrup into the blender and liquifying the lot to be consumed through a straw on my way to work.

I am lactose intolerant which means no milk for me in this country. In the states they sell regular milk with the lactose already broken down (and yummy ice cream by the same brand) but here I need to be more clever. Mostly I use goat's milk but at starbucks I always get soy and as long as there are other flavors in the drink I can't really tell the difference... but I've been going for soy since starbucks made it to Ohio... so I don't know if I remember what real milk in a latte is like anymore.

Soynuts and Soynut butter is very yum. If you don't like peanut butter don't bother with soynut butter. Roasted soy nuts are like a super yummy moreish lovely treat that isn't very bad for you.

Cook with love.

Dear Kisah

My parents are away for a few days and my sister expects me to help with the cooking. Have you got anything easy that a culinary incompetant like me can pull off?

Thanks

Cheese Moose

There are a few variables here that would be helpful to know.

1. How many people and children is this cooking for?
2. Are there any dietary restrictions?
3. How much do you like beans on toast?

Good point, sorry

1) Me and her
2)Shes a vegetarian
3) I dislike beans with a passion

Bel, with regards to tofu Cauldron Foods do a pre Marinaded tofu that is absolutely gorgeous :-) You can get it in sainsburys. I never use normal tofu, it's so hideous.

*clears throat*... okay... refer to PPP (Previous Pasta Post). That's super easy- pasta, sauce, fool proof.. mostly. Also, the homemade pizza thing is pretty simple although getting all the ingredients can cost more than ordering delivery.

Mmmm cheese on toast...

I'm also a big fan of breakfast for dinner. Eggs, pancakes (bisquick is easy), cheese on toast. All that good stuff.

Hope that helps, best of luck

Might I just say that it does work, and it's really not that bad.

Thanks, pasta it is

I believe that it works... I guess I'm just a little egg-addict. Or a big one, as the case may be. There's something satisfying about eggs that I don't think can be replaced by something good for you. It's a personal thing.

Well, it's good for you and it's not eggs (I love eggs as well). It doesn't really taste like eggs, but it's still not too bad. I'll try most things once.

Dear Kisah

Could you tell me what is the best way to stop dumplings from disguising themselves as small rocks please?

I got it right once, sadly never again, please tell me theres a cure or do they just like being small and rock like?!

Dumplings... I have to forwarn you- I've come across several different things that people call 'dumplings'. I think it's mainly due to the fact that there are several different ethnic takes or definitions of what a dumpling is.

I'd be happy to help you if you can describe what they were like (and what they might have been served with) when you got it right.

Jewish dumplings with matzo meal are the best. Light and fluffy and wonderful.
Suet dumplings are just lumps of badness - my mother makes them and you could use them as balast!

Kisah - I've see lactose reduced milk in the UK. In larger Sainsburys stores with the soya milk and UHT milk so look out for it, that latte is closer than you think... & try goats milk as that low lactose and not as strong tasting and goaty as it used to be, goats are now milked in modern dairys not goatsheds!

Ooh, that's good news. I'll have to check it out. Goats milk is what I use for regular everyday stuff and I agree, it's not very goaty... though Jonman swears if he uses it for his cereal in the morning his burps taste of feta for the rest of the day.

I was wondering if motza were considered dumplings as well. As for suet dumplings, my first and only experience with suet was this most recent christmas making mince pies. I'm a pretty smart cookie but the are some blind spots in my cooking knowledge just due to cultural differences.

I made a cookie recipe the other day and I just thought I'd run it by you before I made it and wasted the ingredients. Could you let me know if it looks like I need to modify any of the ingredients to add more dry or wet? Here's the recipe.

Ingredients:
1 cup Butter
3/4 cup White Sugar
2 cups White Flour
2 Eggs
1 tsp. Vanilla Extract
1/2 tsp. Salt
1 tbsp. Cinnamon
1/4 tsp. Nutmeg
1 cup Chopped Walnuts

Directions:
1.) Pre-heat oven to 330 degrees. Situate a rack in the middle of the oven for the cookies.
2.) Cream together the butter and sugar. Add in 1 whole egg and the yolk from the other, vanilla, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Mix thoroughly. Sift in the flour slowly. Mix in most of the cup of nuts. Save a little for later.
3.) Roll into balls 1 inch in diameter. Place on a cookie sheet 2 inches apart. Flatten slightly with your thumb and brush with the egg white from the other egg. Sprinkle the top with the last of the chopped nuts.
4.) Bake for 20-30 minutes, or until slightly browned. Cool after cooking.

Looks good to me. I'd normally figure 2 1/2 cups of flour for a 1 cup of butter recipe but I'd suggest making it lthe way you planned and then only adding extra flour if it's totally too sticky to roll in your hands.

Let us know how it turns out.

Dear Kisah,

I qualify as a slut for curry. I need some good recipes that use curry (and largely taste of it) to try. Anything you know of? I need some suggestions.

Spoon-man

Dear Kisah,

Do you know any good recipes for apple fritters? (Or any other type of fritter for that matter...) People are talking about them and I'm confuddled and I want to try them because they sound tastey.

Thanks!

I will make them tonight after the Guild Wars beta, and I will even take pictures to put up! They should be tasty.

Dear Kisah,

I have eaten mushrooms at least once a day for the last week and I was wondering if you had any good mushroom based recipes.
I'm a vegetarian and I don't eat cooked or puree tomato.

Any ideas?

The Mushroom fiend.

Edit: I don't do spices either, not so much as a pepper corn... the mildest spice to most makes me want to drink a river

They were English? suet dumplings floating on a nice chicken casserole. Thing is Id managed to get them all fluffy and light which seems an unrepeatable event.
Sadly apart from mixed herbs and mustard seeds I cant remember what else I put in them.


Snoo, have you tried cooking them with butter and milk in their own juice until it thickens is nice with a little mustard, garlic or cheese too.

my supper tonight was so lovely it needs to be posted.

big piece of gammon (smoked)
1 litre pineapple juice
1 litre water
mace (about a teaspoon of blade mace, not ground!)
allspice, about 4 berries crushed
pepprcorns, about 8 crushed
cloves, about 3 left whole

all in a big cookpot
boil for an hour

The sweet juice soaks the meat and takes out the salt, the spices work stunningly well

Carve thin thin slices with steamed new potatoes and veggies/salad of choice.
I reduced a bit of the cooking liquer for a sauce as well, but it didn't need it really:)

And I have sandwich fillings of cold gammon and dijon for the rest of the week!

*drools*

Bel - I think I love you.

I adore gammon and it's so hard to find a restaurant that can A. Pick a nice piece of meat or B. Serve it correctly.

I'm going to try that receipe out this week!!!

Here's a couple that I found. Jonman has a number of them here but I don't really really feel like typing them all out. If there's a specific kind of curry you fancy, let me know.

This one is from Jamie Oliver's book and we've never had anything that turned out bad from that book:
Peter's Lamb Curry

and here is a webpage dedicated to curry:

Curry Frenzy