Okay. Background.
Me and this boy are super super involved (roughly 3 years). We're each other's best friends, we take care of each other, sleep together whenever possible or just hang out, it's practically marriage without the documents but oh so much more. (We never plan on marriage/children/that sort of thing). We're also both entirely insane (he's very mildly schitzophrenic, and bulimic, and i've an eating disorder that borderlines anorexia). We both have sleeping problems, we're both mildly obsessive compulsive. Essentially the pair from hell but we love eachother like no tomorrow. We're too connected to ever really be apart. It's bizarre but I'm sure someone must know that feeling.
Story plot.
I left in December to visit my mum for Christmas as par the usual. It was alright. There was much missing, especially to the end. I went back to Florida (where I usually live, and where he lives) for two weeks before heading off to England for a semester. We have been up and down, there have been nights of crying, and of course, everytime I'm in an airport, I end up crying because I want to go home. So, it's been nearly 3 months now. And he's been seeing a shrink on a regular basis.
The bloody conclusion.
He shrink spills the beans on him to his parents, the local authorities and so forth yesterday. Today he gets to talk to the cops, be interveiwed by more shrinks, and possibly end up in a mental institution. I think I'm going to freakin' die. He's supposed to get in contact with me sometime within the next 48 hours (I hope) but I seriously doubt that I'll manage without doing some very bold things (maxing out 3 credit cards, whoring myself out to any person in Paris, cutting more patterns into my wrists with sewing needles, chopping off my hair, getting myself thrown out of places for various reasons, anything to stay occuppied and high off of life for a brief amount of time).
...i would throw up right now, but... the breakfast i ate has already digested. Sorry for the vent... but I think I'm going to go even more mad (if it's possible) and I can't stop crying and I know none of you really know me at all but... yeah.