I've told this story about a hundred times because so many of my friends find it hilarious. It was basically an account of what was going through my head during my first kiss with one of my exes (the one that looks like syuu). I decided to be artsy and put it in pseudo-poetry form. It's meant to be performed, so I had to color code it so everyone would understand it. At any rate, here goes.

Internal Dialogue
by Tragick the Clown

Kiss her you fat f*ck!

I don’t know. What if she doesn’t like me like that?

Look at her. She’s into you.

She asked “What?” Sh*t. My body language must have given it away.

Play it cool.

“Nothing.”

That’s not cool.

Sh*t, she asked again.

Okay Don Juan, now what do you plan on doing?

I’ll figure something out.

“Nothing.”

I think this could actually go somewhere.

Maybe, just don’t f*ck it up.

“Nothing”

Okay, she asked again, but she leaned in this time.

It’s a sign.

Do you think she’s into me?

...No! Whatever could have given you that idea? Dumbass.

Okay, I’ll lean in this time.

“Nothing.”

Smooth, man. She did it again.

Think this might lead somewhere?

Yeah, definitely.

“Nothing.”

Okay, we’re touching foreheads. I think she’s into me.

...You’re an idiot.

Okay, she asked “What?” again. I’m thinking...

Just make your f*cking move!

Oh, my God her lips are soft.

Use some of those moves your friends told you about.

I think she’s liking it.

No sh*t she’s liking it. Now break and be cool about it.

“Okay, that was it.”

Holy sh*t, that was good.

“Finally?” What the Hell does she mean by that?

Maybe it means you should have kissed her earlier instead of staring at her tits. Now go back to kissing.

Wow, she’s into me.

You’re gonna get laid by this chick.

Think so?

I know so. Now get to work before she realizes you’re talking to yourself.

Its hilarious! Well, I like it anyway... I like the whole talking to yourself thing. Very nice

I remember thinking things similar this...

I think like that quite literally all the time. I'm thinking of editing it and putting in more dudes and mans as to make it more realistic.

I really like that.
But I'm starting to think you're the guy version of me...in addition to looking like my ex .

I performed this the other night and got a really good reaction, particularly with the last line. I can't stress enough how true-to-life this is. Put in some more mans, dudes and me saying "and I'm/she's like..." and that's me.

very funny. like the whole aspect of talking to ones-self

Dude! You have a Brainvoice too! I thought it was just me. Does your Brainvoice tell you to kill yourself, throw things through windows and tell you to maim small children too?

Actually I haven't heard from my own Brainvoice for a while, not since they increased the dosage of those little yellow pills I have to take