These titles may not be found in your local book store
(not sure of the author, but this is what started it all)
children's books that didn't make it....
1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
8. Some Kittens Can Fly
9. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
10. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
11. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
12. The Popup Book of Human Anatomy
13. Strangers Have the Best Candy
14. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
15. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
16. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
17. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
18. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
19. Your Nightmares Are Real
20. Grandpa Gets a Casket
And these are ours MWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
1. GASOLINE, MATCHES AND YOU
2. EVERYBODY IS GOING TO DIE
3. FUN AND GAMES WITH AEROSAL SPRAY
4. LET'S GO THROUGH THE MEDICINE CHEST
5. PAT THE PITBULL
6. FODER'S TRAVEL GUIDE; DETROIT
7. CHARLETON HESTON'S HANDGUNS FOR TODDLERS; IT'S THEIR RIGHT AS AMERICANS
8. MOMMY AND DADDY GO AWAY...FOREVER
9. HBO'S WIZARD OF "OZ"
Don't forget the Disney classics;
The Little Mermaid Does Dallas
Pocahontas; Pioneer Genocide
The Lion King 3; Hunted to Extinction
Winnie the Pooh and the Yellow Bear Skin Rug
For the more mature child there is always;
SEE DICK RUN; THE WONDERS OF PENICILLIAN AND STD'S
THE IDIOTS GUIDE TO SHOPLIFTING
THE YOUNG PERSONS GUIDE TO CAREERS IN NARCOTICS
CHOOSING THE RIGHT GANG TO JOIN
YOUNG AMERICAN ROLE MODELS, VOL III; CHARLES MANSON
HEY MISTER,YOU BE DATING?
how about.. these... fun favorites...
1. Hand to Hand Combat for Toddlers
2. Jimmy has 6 mommies and 1 daddy: a mormons tale
3. It hurts when I pee: a dodge ball story
4. That Doesn't Go There: 101 things to put up your pee pee hole
5. Dad Cries Alot, Mommy Burned Dinner.
6. Jimmy and the wonderful rope in gym class
7. Daddy made bail
Even though we encourage our children to read, we often don't have the time to set a good example by reading ourselves. Here are some tiltles that make easy reading with our busy modern life styles.
1. IT'S ALL ABOUT INNER BEAUTY-PAMELA ANDERSON LEE
2. LOVING YOURSELF-MICHEAL JACKSON
3. MAKING IT ON YOUR OWN; MY STORY- GEORGE W. BUSH
4. DEEP THOUGHTS-SYLVESTER STALLONE
5. MODERN TIMES-JESSE HELMS
6. EMBRACING HUMANITY-JERRY FALWELL
For those with more time, I would recommend;
MY PHILOSOPHY-GEORGE W. BUSH AS TOLD BY DICK CHENEY
RESEARCHING ON THE INTERNET-PETE TOWNSHEND
BASIC CHILDCARE-MICHEAL JACKSON
EVERYTHING THAT I LEARNED IN LIFE, I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN-MIKE TYSON
THE FATHER-DAUGHTER BOND-WOODY ALLEN
And don't forget everyone's favorite Harry Potter and the Sex Chamber
) 
