Here's some thinking I did recently. If ever this comes up, remember the following mini-rants:
Yeah, things suck, but they can suck more. If you don't believe that, talk with my mother for a few hours. Not only has her life been Hell (broken home, single mom, etc), but also she works on behalf of people whose lives suck more. She's the president of the local chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. At least you aren't homeless with rotting teeth and schitzo-effective disorder. SHe advocates on behalf of kids in custody battles and similar legal troubles. The stories she has make me want to cry.
Don't think things can't be good. Like Mick said, you have to work for them, even if it means just changing your outlook. Look outside. If it's sunny, great, it's sunny. Go outside. Jump around like a little kid. That's something to live for. If it's raining, go do the same thing. That's something to live for. If you like doings things, do them. Life's cool, even with the things that suck.
If nothing else, think of those who love you and care about you. I put up a thread because in a split second, I realized how many folks on Matazone care about me and would miss me. That's just here on Matazone. I didn't even factor in my family, my friends or the people at my church. If you're upset that others hate you, think about this: It would sure piss them off for you to be living one more day.
Oh, and we love you, too.
Ending your life out of guilt is, forgive the language, bullshit. Hurting yourself isn't penance and even if it was, penance is a bullshit concept because it won't pardon you of your transgressions in the eyes of God, others or your own. I have the marks to prove it.
And look, if no one else loves you, God does, as should you. You shouldn't thrive on the approval of others (yes, easier said than done, I know). It's great and all, but when it comes down to it, it's just you and God (if you're into God, as I am).
QUOTE
...start a website: don't know how? Then teach yourself. I did and it's changed my life.
And if he hadn't, as I've said before, I'd be beyond contemplating my death.