cured all cancer.

and caused a new disiese at the same time. But this was easily cured by

a few green aliens that were stopping by on their way to

infect everyone with tuberculosis. Fortunately,

whilst helping everyone, they had lost the keys to their spaceship and had to wait for

two millenia to let the oxygen in the atmosphere rust away the door, although they'd died approximately two millenia prior. Nevertheless,

A camel ws spotted chewing at the wiring some time after the door came off. This could account for

mad camel disease which came on later, as the wires were made out of the alien equivalent of camel meat. Then alien foot and mouth wiped out the planet, and many years later apes took over and a human found the statue of liberty in the desert and called everyone fools. Then a number of sequels were made, before a Bim Turton remake where the human goes back to Earth at the end and finds apes there again. And so on, but still,

lots of people thought the 30 second flash version with sheep was better. This caused a revolt by sheep rights activists, who proceeded to

create the Cult of Brother Black Sheep, which then closed, then got ressurected, then died, then got ressurected, and I don't think that it will ever be laid to rest. Moo say cows. The end.

Abd in other news, a 78 ft giant kangaroo was found in japan doing

backwards summersaults before landing in a crumpled heat and vapourising into carbon. Locals are reported to have been

asking way to many questions about the green river. Why? Why not? I mean god some people these

crisps are disgusting! Bloody hell, I hate salt and vinegar! Cheese and onion all the

rest of 'm can go to potato HELL! On second thoughts

I quite like Ready Salted'. At this moment, a pigeon came in the door and exclaimed, '

'Golly. That sure is one big crip....'

He munched my whole packet.

A dwarf dressed as a clown fell through the ceiling, closesly followed by an argentinian nun and a camel with a sheep on its' back. "What the

bloody hell is that sandwich doing in my shoes?' shouted someone over in Germany who is completely irrelevant to the situation.

"And now for something completely different" Said a hamster, famous in bollywood for his many appearances in Hammy Sings! and Hamster, Hamster Where out thou hamster?. The scene quickly switches to ...

Mooses. Are they evil?

We asked toast. Toast said, 'mnrrh', and then he carried on playing tetris.

Which, incidentally is a particular favourite game of Captin Maroose of the ......

Tetris land. Toast, completey out of his face at this time, went over to the window and said:"

" Is it just me or are the trees trying to mug that squirrell?" Squinting he realised that the trees were actually

lynching the squirrel on other trees,

The toast shook his head and continued his game of tetris until he heard ...........

of a new and better game. One called

poop poopty poop poop the game was...

only in

the outer regions of the world called....

Qari, the mirror world of iraq, renowened for its amazing

love of dictators and .............

possession of weapons of mass pleasure. All the statues there fall upwards, aswell.

The toast games industry was booming in Qari, so many of the statues were of toast. although the had a tendancy to fall alot, as there isnt much in the way of anything falling up. The beloved dictator of Qari decided to

prepose a toast to the success of the toast games, and to tie down the remaining statues as

they were gaining many thousands by their statues constantly drifting off into the unknown, like

like my dad drifting to the pub

or a huge drift smashing into a smaller drift and making lots of little drift babies

The wind...

was feeling mean that day, much like

Dr. Evildrift, who had to be stopped by Superdrift, the resident superhero.

for doing evil deeds such as

blowing up the president with...

his evil ray gun named stuart because

his best mate was called that but died of...

an accident, ironically involving said ray, but that tales for another day......

this evil dude was so bad his mum

that she used his handbag in an armed robbery. Then planted said handbag in his belongings.

is that making sence? She was an evil cow but..