every breath you take, every moment you are alive,i cry, for i can not be with you, I gaze upon your face witha smile, yet I am crying my heart is being crushed every second I'm, with, without you, I am hopeless.These tears that seem to come from satan, come from you.Why? Is it that your purpose is to give me a death that is not achievable by anyone else? Such a beautiful face, such a beautiful soul.AS I REalize your intentions are pure, I begin to hate you even more, I START TO LOVE you uncontrolably

Erm.... its not written as a poem.... It really really sounds like prose and is written in a prose format. Other than that, you portray the emotions pretty well which is good.

WHEN I GAVE IT TO HER.... SHE STARTED CRYING TEARS OF JOY, AND SHE JUMPED IN MY ARMS, SO ALL IS WELL

TYPING IN CAPITALS MEANS PEOPLE WILL LISTEN TO YOU MORE.

AND THAT'S SCIENCE.

Woops, i didn't notice i did that.

BUT IT GOT YOUR ATENTION SO IT ROCKS

Anyway, dude, your poem is really bad. Go away, get a pen & paper, and write an 'original' love poem. Try and avoid clichés about the heart n' stuff. Yeah.

You see, i don't realy mind harsh constructive critisism, but that was just seiously unneeded. Thanks buddy.

"yOUR POEM IS RELAY BAD." PSH

It was kind of difficult to read without any paticuler(sp?) format.

You seem to be showing Emotions really well in your poem, though. And that, to me at least, is one of the most important things!


It's nice to know that you didn't reply with the normal
"WAT iZ yOuRr PrObELM??//" That most people seem to respond with.

Yes, Yes the american poet society seemed to enjoy it. I won $300 off of that poem. I didn't want to eneter,because i thought it would be a sell out of me, but i did anyways because my family needed the money.

I don't think that's selling out at all! If your family needed the money, that was just amazingly kind of you.

Now, if you sell your poem to Hershey Chocolate for a commercial jingle..... then you can consider the "sell out" point of view.

I was reading this and I was wondering, how can I contact The American Poet Society? I really do like to read poetry, and it would be interesting to look into it. I ran a few searchs for them, and came with nothing under that name. All I did find was a scam going under the name American Poets Society.

My reading teacher is int it.Not much I can do to help you.