So.. haven't posted in ages... but I thought "why not?". So hello anyone who remembers me, and hello anyone who doesn't.

So.. lemme explain what i mean by introvert before I go on.. I don't mean people that are shy.. (though many introverts are), I don't mean socially unskilled (though again, many are). I simply mean people that are just generally drained by being social or by too much stimulas.

According to some psycology books I've read, they summoned up introversion with the phrase, "having a low tolerence to outside stimulation". This included noisey atmospheres, unfamiliar environments, too many unfamiliar faces, and can go as far as conversation with anyone but the closest of peoples.

I'd tend to agree with that as an introvert myself.. though obvoiusly people can be more or less introverted than others, and some introverts learn to develop social skills to be able to survive the real world.

So.. that's my explaination done.. so what's this post about, and why is it not in the personal issues section? Well... simply, I'm not the only one that feels like this, it's not a rare condition. It's estimated over 25% of people are introverts. Sure that's a minority when talking about the world, but more than 1 in 4 people is still a hell of a lot of people in the same boat as me.

We live in an extraverted world, and my main gripe is this. The sheer intolerence there is to a personality orientation that is as common as it is.
Everytime someone uses those little words "I'll bring you out of your shell" earns them my contempt, each and every time.
I like my shell! it smells nice in here, and it's ever so cozy and warm, what makes anyone else think I need to be shown what's right for me?

Ok.. let's use some examples that expand beyond what just some random people said to me once. Let's take school.. an old hell of mine. Now, I don't mean to be unhumble, but I regard myself as quite an intelligent young man if I do say so myself. But I did not do nearly as good in school as my intelligence might imply. It was this place where the emphasise was always on group work. Where there was no where to withdraw to and be alone to reflect. the Caferteria was this noisy place full of 1000 obnoxious people all giving a damn about the brand of shoes being worn. If a teacher spotted you being alone with yourself they always tryed to involve you for "your own good". Saying "No excuse me a moment.. i was doing ever so well alone" didn't help one bit. They liked to just throw you in at the deep end of social situations many a time without letting you have time to prepare (and I don't mean prepare with your work and stuff, but mentally allow your self time to be prepared). It seemed built for the social extraverts (or outties as I call them). I won't even go into physical education (I used mentally have to prepare myself for that ordeal every week). It wasn't that i hated physical activities.. but all the team activities.. it would have chosen being slapped around the face once a week with a stick to that.

The point of that rant is that it doesn't change when you leave school.. everywhere I look.. if I look for a job "team skills required" are in every advert. When people notice me being quiet, the leap over the tables to "help me see the light" as if extraverted noisy bevaiour (gee.. I get passionate about this topic) is the pinnacle of social development. You can see it in every self help book ever, "learn to develop your inner self". That's all advice for the extraverts that neglect there inner selves, this is something I never do. Everytime I see a car advert with a car driving down some mountain path showing how cool other people would think you were if only you owned it I just puke. Why would I care what other people's opinions of a car I own might be?

But in defence of the little careless extraverts.. they just don't relate to someone that enjoys their solice.. and I don't mean a little time alone, i mean hours everyday. (Yes.. shock and horror, I do mean hours everyday). They don't relate to, or don't understand because they've never needed to, and in fairness, introverts hardly make it easy to get to know them. I'd sooner recieve a kick to the face, than have a long conversation about what i might be thinking with someone i barely know.

So, with that thought in mind I have provided a few things that annoy me with a passion I cannot describe, but that i never talk about.. because.. well in the real world.. I don't really see the point because it likely won't do anymore than get another poor mistaken fool from trying to save me from my quietness.

1) Non introverts in conversations do this thing that they think everyone else tolerates (some believe others even like it). They cut off the end of someone elses sentence.
person a: do you remember that time when we were kids and we..
person b: Went on holiday to florida!!

Now see.. what happened there was person b believes that by cutting off the end of the sentence and finishing it for them.. they must be showing off just how "in tune" they are with people
do NOT do it.. I hate that so bad, each and everytime someone decides to show off this "skill" they have. Let me finish my sentence, I speak very little (unless having consumed alcohol) with all but a select few special people to me. So if I do speak, listen and have a little patience enough to wait for me to finish my sentence please.

2) I need time alone sometimes, to just be happy, recharge and be with myself and all content.. that's all. What that doesn't mean:
That I hate you and wish you were dead.
That I am angry or sad.
That there is something wrong.
That I want to sit down and have a deep and meaningful chat about anything.
It means what I say it means.. that I just want to be left to my own devices, by myself.

3) The most important one of all so read carefully. "Don't try to save us".
We're not quiet because something's wrong. We don't mind our solitude.
Don't try to save us from being within our shell. Don't push us excessively when we obviously seem distressed by a situation.. and never EVER say "speak up, your being too quiet". All you would have done then is just earned the contempt of a human.

ok that's all folks.. sorry for the long post.. but the past few months have been rather distressful for me.

Peace out

"I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

*Hands over a cookie, and a pint of Guinness*

Hello there mate, long time no read.

I think I'm going to have to agree with you. In todays world it seems like being an introvert somehow makes you deficient. You need to be re-made like the loud-mouthed icons on TV. You need to exclaim everytime you open your eyes. "Gosh! That water is running downhill! How extraordinary!" Think Adam Hart Davis from "What Did the Romans Ever Do For Us?" The guy seems to have to shout and comment about how fabulous it is that he can breath oxygen...

No, that is not the pinnacle of social interaction. If you like having to engage with everyone, jump up and be counted, or be loud then good for you. Don't think that everyone feels the same way though.

Also what you think of as being an introvert is on the money. Shy? Yes but not necessary. Socially unskilled? Perhaps, but many are not.

Drained by social interaction? Deffinitely.

I find it hard to stay around a mate's house for more than a few days. I can love them to bits but I just need to back off after a while and have some 'me' time. People may think I'm anti-social, but it is not that. I like meeting people and hanging out. Thing is I like and NEED to be alone too. It is not to 'recharge my batteries', I am not drained by being with people. I just need alone time as much as I need others.

I too hate 'group activities' and the dreaded 'presentation'. It is not an exaggeration to say that I would rather have my toenails ripped out than have to stand up in front of a group and talk about something. I can do it for a short time, but it makes me feel incredibly uneasy. To be in a group for my own fun is alright (though I do have to back off now and then for my own sanity), but being forced to in a work environment? I dread it. I panic. It can take all my concentration not to run out of the room.

And people wonder why I drink at social gatherings. I don't *need* to, but by the nine layers of hell it makes me feel better.

It seems hard to find people who understand or feel the same way. This is perhaps because by being an introvert it isn't exactly on your list of top ten things to talk about. Except if you have downed 8 pints, that is.

Oh alcohol. My savior and my curse. *mutters*

I'm an introvert too and sometimes I feel I need a day by myself to "recharge." I dont like going out 2 days in a row. Maybe its just because I have no social life and I'm just used to being by myself, but I can be loud and talkative if i feel like it, I just don't like being around lots of people at once.

But I dont want to be by myself all the time and I'd appreciate it if people made the effort to talk to me even when I'm being shy. It can be very annoying when people assume you are upset or angry or something just because you're not being sociable.

I think it's a misunderstanding thing myself.. people mistake quietness of reservedness, as being aloof or arrogant.
Most people act quiet when they dislike their company.. I just act quiet with most because I don't often feel I want to say anything.

I used to feel guilty for that.. and believe I was "supposed" to say something or else I was being rude/wrong/annoying to people. Took me a while to realise it's ok to not feel you have to say something when there's no good reason when you don't want to.

I'm one of those people who absolutely HAVE to engage everyone in conversation. Especially when they're particularly quiet.

From an extroverts point of view - I seem to think that the reason that you're so quiet is that you feel you have nothing worth saying or you're feeling left out of the conversation because everyone else is so very in your face. I get the hint if said person absolutely refuses to open up but there is a part of me that thinks 'Well, why bother coming out then?'.

I don't think it's that. Witless always has something interesting to say. He is also usually the life of the party and everyone wan't to hang out with him.

That is if I have got this right and you are the person I think you are.

nah, I am just good at spotting specific people I know I can retreat into conversation with. If I tryed to do the group discussion thing I'd wither and die, faster than you could say bobcat.

As I said earlier.. some gain enough social skills to survive the real world.. that's what i've done. But in honesty I have a low tolerence to people.. I can't really share my space with someone for a full day at a time without getting upset.

To answer snugglebum, i go out because I am curious, plain and simple. I have insatiable curiousity about everything, but I am quite content normally to just have one on one conversations with specific people. But... I can't really cope with that 5/6 people sitting around a table all having a really fast up beat conversation thing. I tend to just get up and walk away fast if those develop. This is normally when someone throws anti social labels at me. Then I ignore.. then arrogance labels gly about.. you can quickly see where this cycle starts

Agh, I remember high school, and how you weren't allowed to be alone. If I decided I wanted to go and sit on the field on my own, it wasn't because I felt like being on my own, it was because I was crying out for attention!
If I sat in the 6th form centre and read a book, it couldn't possibly be because I wanted to read that book, it had to be because I was either bored and looking for attention or had to read it for a lesson, and even that I wasn't allowed to do in peace!

You know, I like my room because it is my space, I'm not in there because I'm sulking. I don't want a friend to come around? No, I haven't fallen out with you, I just don't feel like company today.

Yes, people should heed your rules, and let people be quiet in peace!


Oh, and while on a slightly similar topic, my mobile phone is for my use, not yours, dammit. If I turn it off, don't call my house. If I don't answer the house phone, don't e-mail me!

I'm an extroverted introvert. I go out and partay like it's 1999 again and I'm wearing frilly knickers to boot. But I love time alone more than going out. I'm more than happy on my own - I have my own little world (I have my own currency there and everything) where nothing goes wrong etc. I think I'm introverted because I'm afraid of the world and have a big fear of people although many would disagree. I have to say though - I don't feel oppressed when I'm out somewhere and being quiet. Most of my friends know I'm like that and yes, I get the people who ask if I'm ok because I'm quiet but i usually just tell them I'm fine. My big excuse for being quiet in a crown is "I'm just thinking is all, it takes a lot of concentration!" and then smile.

I'm criminally shy as well. That means I break into shops but I blush as I'm doing it!

Fal xXx

Hehe, here's another thing a lot of people that don't feel the same don't get.

Even situations I enjoy are draining to me. If I go out and have a great time, I still need to withdraw. Withdrawel's not like sulking. It's not getting over stuff.
The few times people have accepted me just saying "i wanna be alone for a while" without taking offense were truelly great. I found it the nicest thing people have ever done.. dunno, just that tolerence made me happy.
Not having to fight for my peace was great.

But well.. it's not exactly something I have experienced commonly sadly, hence my general rantiness at extreme extraverts. *whips them*

I disagree.

Being introverted is not a "condition" and describing it as such makes to sound as if its something which needs to be cured. This seems counterproductive to what you're trying to acheive here If you look at the average person, they are neither "introverted" or "extroverted". These are aspects of personality. Many of the "loud, noisy" people are extremely introverted, you're making a huge mistake in assuming that the face people show to the world is the same as the person they are inside. I know someone who is, at face value, loud, unsubtle, and likes to go out and get hammered. Inside, he is totally different. The person he is rarely comes out in company. He's one of the most introverted people I know.

The point about introverts is that they need time alone to recharge, not that they don't necissarily enjoy going out and being sociable, although many of them, myself included, may fit that profile. Extroverts, similarly, recharge through social interaction. That doesn't mean they neer spend ime alone, reading or whatver, just that thats not necissarily what chills them out.

In every personality, one side will obviously be stronger, and granted there will be some extremes, but I don't think encouraging introverts to meet new people and to join in is necissarily a bad thing. So long as this isn't done during their recharging time, and, frankly, expecting to have alone time in the middle of a crowded cafeteria or whatever, seems unrealistic, there shouldn't be a problem. Just because it takes you 18 years to trust someone is no reason not to get started on another 18 years trust building with someone else.

As for the interrupting thing... No, they aren't trying to prove their superiority and connection with the other person. My dad does this, and occasionally, particularly when I'm talking to him, I do. If you know what the person is going to say, and you're getting in to the conversation, then I don't see any reason why the impulse might be felt to complete the sentence to hurry things along. I tend to do this when people are explaining something to me which I'm interested to learn about. When I understand, I suddenly start chorusing things along, because it's good to agree and understand, and confirm. It's simply a way to express a shared excitment at something. Like in your example, those people both have strong memories of Florida, and a shared interest in the subject.

And, to be frank, most jobs above shelf stacking are gonne require some sort of interaction with other people. It doesn't matter how bright you are, you can't do some things on your own. You do need the support, help, and information from your co-workers and so to have any sort of productivity, managers are gonna be looking for people who aren't too shut up in their own heads to talk to anyone else (and I'm not saying I don't include myself in this category, but I know why teamwork is valued).

I am supidly introverted. I think there are about 5 people on the planet who really know me and 3 of them are my immediate family. I need a good couple of hours a day on my own or with quiet, like minded people, or I get ratty. I can't cope with long periods of social interaction, they wear me out and stress me out. BUT... I can do them. I have a different personality which comes out. People don't see me being stressed out until much later in the evening or whatever. I do have social skills. I'm pretty shy, but I wouldn't consider that to be connected to my introvertism (is that the right term? I have no idea. It sounds good. I'll leave it in anyway ).

I don't think society is actually turned against introverts. I think society is made up of people all along the shades of grey, which averages out overall to even numbers either way. I do think, though, that as Jaq once said to me, humans are pack animals. And in pack animals, there are always leaders, alpha males or whatever. In human society, the packs need to work as a pack in order to be effective. The people who are the natural leaders, who are the best at running the packs, rise to the top. And the introverted people, who like to be alone? How many of them are natural leaders? The people at the top are 99.9% extroverts, and as such, recognise the merits of being extroverted, so in order to organise a more effective pack, they want more extroverted people.

I don't think society is against us. I just think that some of us maybe aren't ready for society.

Woah.. where'd that come from.. no one in this thread said it was a condition to be cured.. infact the opposite was said... multiple times.
Confused by the post you made Gothic.. you seem to be reitterating what's been said.. but in a way that makes it sound we didn't know.

My gripe isn't with needing help or any of that junk. As I've said.. It's about when people try to force me do things the way they do for my own good, when all i want to do sometimes is.. "my own thing".

I never said society is turned against introverts either, but it does seem like introverts understand and tolerate extravertedness more than vice versa is true. This is namely because extraverts don't relate to introverts, while introverts have tounderstand extraverts a little to function in society.

There's no clear cut ultra introverts or extroverts.. But amongst other "innies" I here the same stories told repeatedly over and over. "I didn't even say anything and they don't know me, why are they harassing me?!"

Most of the time it turns out to be just someone getting really upset about someone wanting to stay in on a friday night or something. Not even understanding why a person would choose solitude over socialising.

On most days I tolerate it because I'm used to it. But it's those days when especially someone close to you is refusing to accept something simple like "Just becauseI'm not talkative, it doesn't mean i'm upset". That can get tiring when it's too common.

Reasons for my rant would be if even one person that read this thread one day saw someone saying "you know.. I'd prefer to just be on my own this evening" and replied with "Ok, just yell if you want anything". Instead of "why?"

QUOTE

no one in this thread said it was a condition to be cured..

In your first post, you describe it as a "condition which over 25% of people have". I'm not saying you think of it as a condition which needs to be cured, I'm saying that describing it as a condition is gibing that impression, which isn't going to encourage extroverts to see things from your point of view.

QUOTE

It's about when people try to force me do things the way they do for my own good, when all i want to do sometimes is.. "my own thing".

And I'm saying that maybe the time to do your own things isn't talways whe other people are around. Theres got to be some elemet of give and take in all social interactions. If you don't feel you can do that any other time, have you tried politely declining?

QUOTE

I never said society is turned against introverts either

Your thread title is "Oppression of the introverts".

Oppression, as defined by Wikipedia:

Oppression is the negative outcome experienced by people targeted by the arbitrary and cruel exercise of power in a society or social group. The term itself derives from the idea of being "weighted down."

QUOTE

but it does seem like introverts understand and tolerate extravertedness more than vice versa is true. This is namely because extraverts don't relate to introverts, while introverts have tounderstand extraverts a little to function in society.

Not at all. Extroverts just don't necissarily realise that the way they behave makes the introvert uncomfortable. They would very much like to be approached and involved in things. They see it as doing the introvert a favour.

QUOTE

There's no clear cut ultra introverts or extroverts.. But amongst other "innies" I here the same stories told repeatedly over and over. "I didn't even say anything and they don't know me, why are they harassing me?!"

And amongst the "outies", you'll hear. "God, why are they being so cold to me? I was just trying to be friendly!"

The thing is, extroverts are different people to introverts. If you want them to stop "harrassing" you, you need to understand this and give them a viewpoint they can, in turn, understand. Don't say "I'm fine, leave me alone.", say "I would enjoy reading a book more, if you don't mind".

Oppression of the introverts is the title of a book

It's all well and good to say I should do my own thing when other's aren't around if I lived on my own and didn't work, Reality is that's not the case. The little time I do get nowadays seems people get annoyed if I do want that to myself. Instead I get worried upon.. which was ok at first.. but over time, it can become maddening.

This was never meant to be a why introverts are so great post either, I never said introverts don't have faults that others find a pain. But extraverts voice what's bothering them. The internet's pretty much the only way i voice mine normally. (People do that annoying talk over me thing in person, if they don't instantly relate what I'm saying to their lives).

PS. by the way, like my sig?

I never said you did. I'm just pointing out an alternitive point of veiw such as may not have occurred to you

And yes. Yes I do

I can understand the extrovert point of view here, and I don't really mind it most of the time. If I go to a party or something, I expect that people will try to talk to me if I'm standing close to them. If I eat lunch in a crowded place, I accept that people will try to sit near me and talk to me if they want someone to talk to. What I object to is relentlessly dragged to social occasions that I have no interest in whatsoever. Sometimes when there's a dance at school, for example, I just don't feel like going (I don't like dresses, dancing, or loud popular music). When I try to explain this politely, I sometimes get the "Nonsense! A dance will be good for you!" reaction. At this point I can either go and have a lousy time or argue about it and have the friend sulk at me for being antisocial. Most of my fairly introverted friends feel the same way I do, so we tend not to whine and drag each other places. This leads to pretty relaxed friendships and very few fights. The extrovert friends, although I love them most of the time, don't seem to get that sometimes we would prefer a bit of solitude. They tend to see not going somewhere with them as an attack on them personally.
I don't want to seem to be picking on church or anything, but church events are absolutely the worst for this. Sometimes I'll go, have fun for several hours, and then get a headache. I'll tell a few people where I'm going and not to bother me so no one will worry, and then I'll go lie down or sit in a fairly dark and quiet room or hallway away from other people. The people that I told where I was going won't try to follow me, and if people ask where I am then the people I told will just say, "She's fine, she's just resting a bit. Don't worry." After hearing this, some people will just nod and go back to what they were doing. The obnoxious ones will go charging off to hunt for me. They've been told that I'm fine and want to be left alone for a bit. However, they assume that they know what's best for me, so they'll find me, assume that I've been crying my eyes out or moping (even after *I've* told them that I'll be fine, just need a few minutes of quiet), and (if they're around my age) forcibly drag me back to the place I left because it was giving me a headache. As I'm slender and not in the most superb shape, fighting to get away doesn't seem to work. If the person hunting for me is an adult, they'll attempt to act sweet and suggest that I go back. If I refuse, they'll downright order me to go and refuse to go away or shut up until I agree to go back. I've tried persuasion, shouting, snapping, and being outright rude to these people. These tactics don't appear to make the slightest bit of difference. After I'm back in the loud place that I was trying to avoid for a bit, the person who dragged me back will keep an eye on me and make cheery comments about how much fun it all is compared to being alone. My headache gets worse and I feel like slapping the person who bothered me.
As I said earlier, I understand the extrovert point of view and I'm usually glad to talk and be social. I don't mind having my sentences finished. I just would like some particularly annoying extroverts I know to understand that when I decide to have a bit of solitude, it's rude to come hunting for me and drag me about or sulk when I don't do what they want or go where they want. I apologize for not going where they suggest, I tactfully explain why, and they still have an attitude problem and talk about how much fun they had, saying every other sentence that I should have come. I really do have fun being around extroverts most of the time, be there are a few who don't seem to grasp the concepts of quiet time and not interfering in every second of other people's lives.
Hey, this is my 200th post! Yay! One of my longest, too. Excellent!

I'm an introvert. I like being alone in my quiet. I can only handle being around other people, even ones I like, for limited periods of time before I begin to shut down and clam up. I don't like to talk to strangers, and I abhore small talk. Heck, I don't even like to be touched. Parties make my anxious, crowds make me panic. Sometimes I wish I weren't like that. More often I hate myself if I pretend to be somebody else than who I am.

Two of my best friends are extroverts. It is admittedly very draining for me to be around them. But I don't mind, and I don't think it's an accident. I like being put out of my comfort zone because I hate complacency, and there's also a temptation to being different than you would be left to your own lonely devices. With my more bookish friends, I wouldn't have to opportunity to be Psycho Mike-o's designer scarf (no, literally). Conversely, I think extroverts are drawn to introverted friends because it conserves energy; it's somebody they can knock down the energy levels around and relax and recharge.

It comes down to respect, like any other interpersonal interaction. You don't slap my ass, I don't give you the cold shoulder. Easy as.

I am so introverted that it amounts to a disability. For example, I hate leaving the house. Not because I'm afraid to, but because my "Moron" tolerance is low...

Warning!

Major league bitching to follow:

Today, for example, I wanted to go out to the local Chinese buffet. Because gasoline is so expensive, I decided to make the trip count, by going to the store and the library, as well. One of the things I had to return to the library was a DVD (Which, by the way, was so scarred and dirty, I had to literally wash it with warm, soapy water, before it would play properly... it makes me wonder if people treat their own possessions this badly... Grrrr!). Not wanting to risk warping it in the summer heat, I decided to return it first. The library was closed (The library is ALWAYS closed! For whatever reason, they are always shifting about their hours of operation, so I never know what they are... so, I'm angry with them, and even angrier with myself... a phone call before I set out would have told me they were closed...). Dissapointed and angry, I determined to take the DVD in with me, at the restaurant, something I wouldn't have had to do, had cutbacks in the librarie's budget not forced them to close after only four or five hours a day (At different times each day, yet!). The restaurant, however, while still open, had stopped serving buffet for the day, TWO HOURS before they do on weekdays! More anger, more aggravation! Now, you say, I could have called ahead. I had. Tell me, is it just me, or do chinese restaurants in english speaking areas ALWAYS choose the worker with the thickest accent and worst English, to answer the 'phone? I tried to ask if the buffet were up, but couldn't understand the answer. More anger, more frustration! Determined that the day would not be a total loss, I decided to make a (Quick) shopping trip, to the store I usually patronise (Reids). I couldn't remember whether we had milk, so I bought a gallon (At $3.49 a gallon. What, are they milking solid Gold cows, now? ). I then decided to go to Burger thing to get lunch, but decided to do drive through, because everything was warming up, including the DVD. Got my sandwich and fries, then I spotted a sign at the Piggly Wiggly store, next door... "Milk, Gallon... 2/$5.00" and I had just paid 3.49 for ONE gallon! Grrrrr! So I went in, and bought two more gallons (All 3 of Which will last, maybe, two weeks around here...). I got in the car, and slammed the door... a mudguard fell off the car! Cursing under my breath, I got out, picked up the fallen piece, threw it in the backseat. I drove home, unloaded my groceries, and then was accosted by my stepfather. It seems I had thrown out some rice I couldn't finish, at supper, last night. He does the cooking, around here, and took offense. and yelled at me. everything that day came back, then. I blew up. I told him (Familier refrain) that I just couldn't win, with him. If I couldn't finish my dinner, and packed away the leftovers, he was angry. If I threw out the leftovers, and he discovered it, he was angry. He countered with, "Why didn't you ask? You never ask!" "I never ask, because it makes no difference... If I ask you get angry! If I take it on myself to resolve a problem... you get angry! I'm sick of it! I can't take it, anymore!" Which is where my mother broke in, demanding peace. I went up to my room, feeling sick. and I still feel sick. Is it any wonder I prefer to stay home, whenever possible, and stay in my room, whenever certain people are about?

And, Before I was declared handicapped, I had all of this, and the frustration (And fear) of dealing with Morons off the street, in my capacity as convenience store clerk. Typical of this was the constant complaining about how high our cigarette prices were... when all they had to do was walk across the street to a REAL store (As opposed to a convenience store), where the prices were a lot lower... Not to mention the fact that they could avoid the whole thing by JUST QUITTING SMOKING! GRRRR! Morons!

after Ten years of dealing with thugs and morons at work, being beaten up, robbed at gunpoint, and dealing with Management whose IQ's could be found under slimy rocks; After living hand to mouth, freezing in the winters and burning in the summers, in substandard housing; After finally coming home again, when things got really bad, and I crashed; And, finally, having to deal with all that, plus a neurotic stepfather (I don't know which is worse; His agressive behaviour (Yelling and cursing at me for every infraction of constantly shifting rules seemingly made just to catch me in an infraction) or his passive agressive behaviour (If I fail to notice a bit of trash I've left behind, such as a bit of paper... he will deliberatly move it, so it will be in my way, until I get the hint... I hate that!)), I have no healthy nerves left. The slightest aggravation sends me over the edge. engage me in conversation on any subject, and you will hear me bitch about it. I am one festering ball of anger, and each new slight, inconvenience, or proof of moron-ness, gets added to the total...

and that is why I am more comfortable talking to people online, than in person... I can always shut the computer off. I can always walk away, if I have to, without fear that some moron will insist on following me, arguing his clueless, factless rhetoric.

That is why I prefer to stay in my room alone, reading, than go out in public.
that is why, in short, I am disabled...

This is how it starts. This is very familier to me...

take my advice: Don't listen to well meaning types who tell you to force yourself into social situations; to 'toughen' yourself, as it were. Don't take a job dealing with the public. And, if a psychiatrist or other professional pats you on your head, and, basically, tells you that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, and sends you back into a situation that is a living Hell for you, tell 'em to shove it.

I mean it. All these things happened to me, and I accepted them, went along with these 'cures' ... until I had a nervous breakdown. after the fact, the 'experts' admittted that they may have made a mistake, pushing me, when I knew what was best, all along, and they didn't.

follow your instincts...

Yeah, I had to learn that lesson too. If you here that your the one that's got the issue enough times in your life. You will tend to believe it, irrespective of whether it's true.
I can't count how many times a week some random intolerent person I don't even know will suck away all my energy, so that when I am in contact with someone I do actually like, I have no energy left to be able to speak much to them. It's all very annoying.

Don't know when exactly I decided that being a withdrawn person is actually just another personality trait. It's even possible to be happy that way. But realistically it is dependant on just how tolerent people you meet in day to day life are. to give you the space you need, to how much energy you have left to deal with people that actually matter to you.

I am an extrovert.
sorry. Thought I'd prove all your points.
I think I started to be more extroverted when my parents split up. I was 12 and had to deal with my emmotions in such a way that I couldn't let people at school know how I felt. (I had a very weak friendship group back then.) This also developed sarcasm and a very cynical sense of humour- and I am happy how it is. I have a few introverted friends, one of which is slightly autistic so she literaly can't deal with situations of lots of people, but alot of them are mildly extroverted. And then there are a few who are very extroverted, but understand other peoples limits, like when no means no.
I can understand the wanting of alone time, but I can hardly ever find any seeing as I share my bedroom with a 7 year old, and there is also my two older siblings and my mum and step dad to contend with. I don't think I really miss it, as I can enjoy just sitting in a room with someone, not necessarily talking, just enjoying their company and vibes.
Perhaps I am only superficialy extroverted...

I used to hate people who did that, but since then I *have* come out of my shell a lot, mostly due to my own desire to see more of the world, and I've learned that extroverts who try to get introverts or quiet people aren't doing so to annoy the person at all, they're just taking a healthy interest in them. I think anyone who claims to be introverted and still holds this sort of grudge against people that "annoy" them should try seeing things from a slightly different perspective before condemning them as bad people. Lemme explain:

I used to be teh ubar introvert, to the point that I had little to no social life, very few friends beyond those closest to me, couldn't talk to anyone I didn't know about anything, found it hard to phone someone I didn't know, even on business and just generally was very shy. It got to a stage where I began to feel left out though - I was always the last to hear about things, I made silly social faux pas due to not having heard the gossip about people that would have stopped me acting like a fool and saying something silly, and I used to let birthday parties go by and hear about them afterwards and have to ask "you were having a party?" because no one had told me and I hadn't been talking to people who knew it. It got too much for me, really, and I eventually had to start talking to people. So I did, simple as that, and it was great. I met all sorts of interesting people who shared my hobbies or who could debate on a level suited to me, or who were simply nice to chat to. But I didn't become a complete chatterbox. I'm still quiet, I still sit in the corner on my own and I still love being alone to think about things or read books, its just that I've learned to balance these with a sociable attitude, and its helped make me a better person to do so. I've suffered people incessantly talking at me on many occasions, but only through "coming out of my shell" have I learned to not resent them for it. I get plenty of time to be alone when I'm alone, and plenty of time to be alone when I'm being sociable as well, who am I to judge someone who takes interest in me and engages in conversation, even if I have nothing to say to them or contribute to their conversation. If they think that I'm being boring then they wont keep talking to me, and if my silence bothers them then they'll stop, but if they don't mind that I'm quiet naturally then I don't mind them being chatty naturally. Its just the way some people are. A lot of people don't like being in the situation where they're alone for extended periods of time, so I think that the more people out there who can chat incessantly at them there are, the better it is for those who feel like that.

[/ramble]

That said, I cannot stand someone who knows that you're going through something that requires concentration and solitude and thoughtfulness and stands over your shoulder bothering you every two seconds with pointless nonsense, but there aren't many people like that older than twelve anyway. I'll learn to cope with those people when I have kids of my own (either that or I'll be buying ballgags with nappies )