Ok, I basically decided recently that I don't want to have children.. not genetic children anyway. Basically I've decided I'd prefer to adopt put simply.
Whether or not I'd get the rather brief but unnerving sounding operation to make it so I cannot have kids is another question mulling around my head. But thankfully I am under no pressure so can take as much time as I like to make that one.

But back to the point of this post. "Let's look after the people we have on the earth before we get carried away making too many more" is one reason I'd use.

Ok.. I can see that some people dream of having their own kids, with a passion I probably will never hope understand. But still, I have a lot less optimistic views about how many people our little patch of the universe can support than most. We don't live in a world where you can afford to not care about what happens beyond your own backyard. If you live in a street and everywhere else on that street goes to hell except your house, within a week your house will be dragged down into hell along with everyone elses.

I see the point that the 1st world's growth rates a all pale in comparison to the 3rd worlds but, awareness and a little consideration to ideas oneself never hurt.

Ok.. but population size is a poor way to plan one's life so that's not the only reason either. It just seems unfair put simply.. some women/girls get pregnant in hardly ideal means. But they don't take the abortion method out (don't turn this thread into an abortion debate thread). They go through with the whole thing, give up their child hoping another family that's great will get it. Now I have spoken to an unnerving number of people that have all said the same thing.
"I couldn't love an adopted child as much as my own". It didn't shock me that someone said it. It shocked me how many people I've asked that have said the same thing. Also how many types of people that have said it. Even my own mother said the same thing, and she's the most hardcore values person around.
So in true me style I did a little research into adoption and adoption agencies.. my findings were odd.

Ok, lets start with the types of parents that give up their kids and the types of kids that end up going for adoption. Believe it or not, percentage wise.. all those teenage parents we hear about in the news and on every tv soap drama aren't the ones giving up these kids. Sure they are amongst the people giving up kids. But they surely don't make up majority like the media likes to paint the picture of. On the contrary.. of the teens that don't get an abortion, they seem to be the ones that give up their lives the most to give it a go. The parents that are giving up their kids seem to fall into this weird "parenting isn't what I thought" category. Stuff like really really strong post natel depression is one example. Kids with physical conditions they weren't prepared for is one. Kids with mental conditions is a huge one.

Here's a scary one, 75% of all downs syndrome babies are aborted, of the full term babies a further 70% are given up for adoption. Seems like the most common cause of parents giving up children is just simply that, reality doesn't live up to this idealised image in their heads.

So that leaves a good annoyingly large number of kids and babies in limbo as a result.. and to hear people just say, "nah sorry, couldn't love an adopted baby as much as my own" is pretty darn horrible to be honest. I'm not saying "you must adopt or your evil". But dismissing it because adopted kids just aren't as good, I see as rather arrogant.

Ok the other half of things is the trying to be a parent that adopts. The idea is that a lot of these kids have had it pretty hard up to the point. Some have done, a lot more than others. So they're obviously going to have a screening process for parents, else ending up doing more damage to some kids than good. The problem is (in the UK anyway) that the screening process can sometimes be a bit over the top. Some couples are being turned down for such petty reasons. One couple got turned down for living above a pub, others are getting turned down because of their appearence (can't find the link now but it was basically a couple with lots of tattoos). Fact is that some couples are getting turned down who are.. (lets face it) better than your average parents having kids the real way. The standards seem excessive sometimes. You don't want to put kids with bad families, but you don't want to go so far the other way that only the most squeeky clean of squeeky clean people can get on the adoption register.

Let's remember, these are people who actually want children, who have planned to have children in their lives. They have more than likely they thought it over for a long long time, most are well prepared. How many of us in these forums can honestly put their hands on their hearts and say "my parents planned me as well as that", Maybe half? Not saying all adoptive parents are that great, but most that take adoption seriously are pretty decent.

My question to you guys are:

1) What do you think of the adoption system in the country you live,
2) What do you think about adoption,
3) Would you be able to love an adopted child as much as a child related genetically?

1 - I don't know adoption laws in the U.S. very well, but I do think that there must be something better than what we have. I think that the worst part is that once you turn 18, you are turned out, and expected to simply live on your own, without any family, or financial assistance beyond normal government welfare.

2 - Adoption is a great way for some people, although I think that I'd like to have a child of my own.

3 - Yes, of course I would. Family is more important than relation.

I can only answer (3) There are three adopted children in my family. All these children have been treated as "genetic" children from the day they came into our lives. As they have grown they have acquired a lot of the traits in our family, so much so that apart from their physical appearance, nobody would ever guess that they were not of our "blood". I only got to know these children when they were older as I lived away, but I felt an an immediate "bond" with them. The thought that they were "other people's" children didn't even enter my head. One of these children has given the family a whole lot of heartache over the years, but never once has it occured to me not to support him as if he was my own flesh and blood. Adoption is not a path I personally would choose to take, but I have nothing but admiration for the way these three children have turned out and I like to believe it was because we gave them the right environment in which to grow. Short answer is Yes, it is possible to love an adopted child as much as a genetic child.

1. The adoption system doesn't work that well. The screening seems to focus too much on superficial things, as in the examples given. Some of the worst parents are the ones in business suits with respectable haircuts. Not all, just as not all tatooed couples who live above pubs are good parents, but some. Also I really think there needs to be an easier way to go from a childrens home to a council flat, even as a halfway step to buying your own place, because the "once you're 18 we aren't bothered anymore" thing has always seemed to me to be an irresponsible way to behave. Wouldn't it mean a large number of people who were put up for adoption but never adopted are homeless? (can someone explain this to me actually, I've always been confused by it.)

2. I think if you have a baby and don't want it it's better than bringing it up in a hate filled enviroment, but in the early stages of an unwanted pregnancy (up to 20 weeks) I think abortion is a better option. (I'm not trying to turn this into an abortion thread and it's just my opinion, so please don't flame me).

3.If I wanted children but couldn't have my own naturally I would pursue adoption before IVF or artificial insemination. Genetics mean nothing, what matters is the relationship you have with that person. The world is overpopulated and there are so many children hwo need a home.