On average I sustain at least one injury a week normally walking into tables, falling over bins or being triped up by stray chair legs these are all run of the mill.
However I pull of a stunning fall two weeks ago and I still have the war wounds to prove it.
I had peeps over for dinner for some reason I decided to try and make a furby hiccup (it is possible honest) the flaming thing then wouldn't shut up so someone very tall put it out of my reach where it continued to make an annoying series of noises.
I decided to put the blasted thing in a cupboard where it would no longer be of irritation. I had to stand on the new sofa to retreve it and this is were it all went a bit wrong. I forgot that the sofa is a bit higher than the old one by a good few inches and so the floor was not where it is meant to be and stumbled. this in its self it should have only resulted in me landing on my behind, but my mother had also had a re-arrangement moment and put a coffee table in the middle of the room. So I attempted to avoid landing square on it, I stepped to one side stepping on my shoes (that I'd left out) somehow turned around and getting hair in my face and fell onto the coffee table landing on my chest traping one of my guests hand under me.
I'm still not sure what happend in what order or how I got the bumps scrapes and bruises I did, all I can remember thinking while this was happening I'm not that drunk.

The list of bruises and scrapes
left forearm bruised and scraped
whooping great red triangle on my somache
very large bruise on my right thigh
The only thing that has faded is the mark on my tummy

Make me feel less of clumsy fool

Ouch!

I have a habit of trying to catch people and getting my hand squashed if that's any compensation

The only thing I've done lately was attempting to pick up a pint glass in a pub, not realising how wet with condensation it was, knocking it gently over, followed closely by the glass exploding all over the table. Oops! No-one was hurt, but the glass did not recover.

This happened awhile ago, but My mom has these fancy-looking glass pot and pans set that she used to cook with all of the time. When I was seven, she decided to use one of the pots to boil some water in (C'mon can't anyone guess where this is going?) and after awhile I just completly Exploded. All I heard was this lound CRACK! WOOSH! (we had a gas stove) and glass went flying everywhere.

This may sound strange, but it was kinda pretty right after it exploded and my mom had turned off the stove. There where little pieces of blue glass everywhere, and I remember the sunlight catching the glass and thinking "Oh, that so pretty...Wait... AHHHHH!"
I'm pretty sure that all we ended up with was a few shallow scratches, thank God!

*cough* ive had three stupid injuries this week..

1. i fell off a side walk, a side walk level with the ground (as in the area was tottaly flat). it had been raining so the ground was soft around the side walk, and i just happened to steop halfway off the side walk, stumbled, then i over corrected and fell face first on the side walk.
i have a nasty scrape on my knee and a big bruise

2. well... i was driving my car and the break pads were grinding because we needed new pads... it went along the lines of *grindy grindy grindy* *pop* *silence* *grindy* *clank* i stoped and got out "oh look my break pad fell off... i should pick that up" "HOLY FREAKING SH*T". safe to say that break pads get hot... and now i had burns all over my right hand.

3. last night my rooate caught a mouse in one of those glue traps, and it was still alive. i decided that i had to take the mouse off the glue pad and set it free... it bit my right hand, but the mousy is now safe and free outside our building.

I was just getting up from the chair by the computer and I slipped on a piece of paper and instead of just falling like a normal person, I grabbed onto a large picture which landed on top of me causing a cascade of lamps, books and sparechange.Nice one Emma.

The other day I was walking along Main Street with a very heavy backpack and tripped over a leg for one of those temporary construction signs, causing an astounding series of somersaults and ultimately the further demise of my dear top hat. Main Street is very hilly.

I also got a pair of scraped knees, which I haven't had in about eight years. They're fun!

One day i was playing football with the Y5's and the ball was near their goal so we gave the sign
(by the way im in Y6) and we all ran like hell to the ball before the keeper got there, that ended up me being in the middle of it, on the floor.At one point i was running and then suddenly i was being trampled on. When the riot was over i was there on the floor with a shoe missing. I got up and scrambled to my shoe and then ran up to my half to do some of my dirty defending!Hee hee

Yeah, I know the feeling. I trip all the time. There doesn't have to be anythign substantial there to fall over, a piece of dust can send me sprawling. I drop stuff, loose everything from change to random books.

I think I trip on average three times a day (& not the good tripping either!) As for books, if anyone has seen/found a copy of Jane Eyre on the Hammersmith and City Line, can I have it back please! It's the third time I've lost it, and my essay is due in two weeks!!!

I spilt a little pot of bonding agent on myself and got a piece of acrylic stuck to me. It hurt a lot trying to get it off.

I somehow managed to corode part of my finger with some extremely strong acid.

I have also stupidly attempted to go down steep bumpy hills on my skateboard on numerous accations, once rusulting in me lying in a heap of nettles. ow!

lets think. what other thing have i stupidly done?

I climed up a tree, while someone else was cutting it down.

that's it I think.

On Thursday I hurt my toe. This was the sequence of events:

1) Being bored and playing with a stapler
2)Thinks: 'Would a stapler staple into flesh?'
3)Tries it on toe
4)It works
5)How to get it out?
6)Ah. A staple remover
7)Removes staple. A quite a large chunk of toe with it
8)Ow.

Last night I had an accident. I ended up stretching my achiles tendon and giving myself a mild concussion.

How?

I had a friend over for a "chat". We hadnt been speaking for several months. She had convinced me to let her round with the promise of getting wasted. As it was saturday i figured what the hell.

So she came round and we got wasted. I decided I needed to use the bathroom and so off i went down the hall. Got to the bathroom and then i managed to lose al control of my legs and arms. I fell head first into the toilet, breaking the seat in half (which was fortunatly down at the time), snaping one of the hinges off the seat, knocking the pipe from the cistern out the back of the bog and putting a dent in the ceramics in the side.

My head really hurts.

Ouch!

Well, your typing seems okay so you're probably not concussed, but I stick by my first statement of 'ouch'.

The alcohol generally means that your body is more relaxed than it normally would be, so you could have seriously hurt yourself if you did that while sober... But you wouldn't have done it sober. Ah, the old Catch 22 of accidents!

Last Friday, my dad did this* to his elbow whilst playing in goal at football.

*Warning, it ain't pretty. Well, unless you find bruising pretty; then I guess it's rather beautiful. Also, it's a rather hefty file size. I couldn't be arsed to size it down.

Ooh, it's all black and icky. When bruises are that color it hurts when you do anything more than breathe on them. I speak from painful personal experience gained whilst trying to avoid the basketball in gym and failing so miserably that it hit me in the face. Gah, I hate sports.
Anyway, I tripped on one of my cats in the dark and slammed my shoulder on the edge of the coffee table. My arm isn't really hurt, but it feels very odd and twingy when I stretch.

About a month ago I was wearing heels (which isn't usually a problem, honest!) and decided to chase after this guy I was talking to (I forgot why....) The chasing involved quite a bit of turning around due to the small space we were in, so during one of the turns my ankle decided to turn sideways so it was parallel to the floor, while I was still standing. Well, I was standing for a second, then I decided it would be best to fall over x.x; I layed there for a few minutes coaxing tears to stay in my eyes while I yelled at Aaron (the guy) for causing the problem Which he denied and laughed a little and told me I was fine.

Well I couldnt walk the next day (couldnt go to school, honestly) and I still cant really bend my ankle the way my other one bends. Argh.