Is it just me, or do lawyers mainly exist for the sake of lawyers?
In the last few years we have somehow managed to import possibly the worst American export of all time - auto-litigators.
We have all seen the adverts that go along the lines of 'I was walking up the stairs with a bucket of molten lava (being a lava fitter) and I decided to pour it over my face. Despite all the safety warnings I had when learning my trade I didn't realise lava was dangerous. Now I have had a huge payout which destroyed my company because of my own massive stupidity. Even better, the lawyers didn't charge me because they got 88.7% of the settlement. Hurrah!'

I challenge you all to find a good reason for the non-extermination of all vampiric companies like this who expect us not to notice that the most gruesome insurance rate increases in history are down to them.

Gah!

OK. Who drank the tar?!?

Not me. I only drink tar if its chocolate tar.

I did. I wanted the money.

On balance I suppose drinking tar may have some benefits - at least it will line the stomach and reduce the damage if you randomly decide to drink bleach/meths/petrol.

drinking bleach? you must get reeally bored sometimes

Well.... Cheap supermarket vodka/bleach in the end they taste pretty similar.

Bumpety bump bump.

I want to see some real vitriol aimed at these monstrosities.

A bump that has crippling debts.

Sun

I have crippling debts myself. However I think crime is a more socially acceptable method of earning than claims companies.

Hmm... Crime...

I too share the feeling of utter senslessness of this claims company thing...

Like that guy (and this is one of the legitimate ads, mind) who was changing a light bulb using steps and successfully sued his company for summat like 60 grand... I'd question the company lawyers who allowed such a litigation to pass unhindered, cos:

On the ad, he openly admitted he was reaching up. HASAW laws say reaching up on ladders is not considered safe. On the ad, he never mentioned his "footer". High work requires the use of two people unless you're using a closed stepladder (one of those A shape ones). If he was reaching for a light fitting, the A frame steps are no good (too high), so he should have had assistance. Also, he should have high work in his contract, or a permit to work and hazard study if it's not in his job description - this would have covered him in case of an accident. Basically, it appears that this guy broke EVERY high working regulation in the book. I wouldn't have given him a damn thing! But here he is, £60K better off...

Oh, and that lad who got £10K just cos he fell off a slide and needed glasses. Okay, it's not a nice thing to happen. But what happens now?? The owner of the play park gets landed with a "make it safe or be closed" order. He can't afford to make it safe cos he's now 10 gees down, so he closes it. Now the kids all hang around the shopping area smoking, drinking, spraying graffiti and starting fights cos there's nowhere else to go.

I really hate this "blame culture" we're absorbing from the US. It allows ostensibly stupid people to make vast amounts of money out of loopholes picked open by lawyers who, frankly, if they were any good would be doing more resplendent work.

I agree that there are genuine cases. But these should be followed up by reputable firms working on behalf of the downtrodden majority, not these pathetic ambulance chasing freaks.

End rant.

I now return ya to me normal typin accent!!

Ah. Thats what I like to see. People enraged by these leeches.

An quite right too!!!

Litigious swines... an their adverts suck too!

"I was hit by a car while crossing the road and reading a newspaper. I was awarded £35000 because the court could prove that the paper carried no health warning about reading it while using the road, and could not prove I was stupid enough to ignore the part in the Highway Code saying 'you should not read while operating a bicycle'"

ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Yup. All the things that your parents told you ending in 'and it served them right' seem to have become a source of revenue.

Im just off to pee on an electric fence while using a mobile phone and eating quicklime - I'm a bit skint.

Okay... I'm just off ta operate me TV wi wet hands cos the handbook doesn't tell me not to... I got a holiday ta pay for!!

yay! me fairy!!

anyways.....



can i suggest climbing up an electricity pylon in a storm? lame, i know...but im tired guys xx

Im starting to get a little scared by the percentages...

Am I missing something about tar as a taste sensation?

only chocolate tar i believe...apparently it doesnt taste so chemically

<rant=cursing>see, i have been dealing with this type of culture my whole life... why do you think im so freakin paranoid/insane these goddamn companies that decide that its better for them to pay dumbasses huge sums of money to be a dumbass!!!! GAAAAH!!! i sincerely wish that all of britian would have stopped these dammed ideas at the coast, you shoulda turned the boat of deadbeat lawyers and blame back..... but no, this is too lucrative a job oppurtunity for those "poor mistreated souls" that poured accidentally nearly killed themself while using their laptop in the rain... because the rain came with no warning that use of a laptop may cause adverse effects on you central nervous system!!! BAAAH IM GONNA GET THESE DAMMED LAWYERS!!! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!!</rant>
im off to jump off of overpasses into 6 lane highways!!! see ya all later from my soon to be mansion!!!

You know whats really bad? My sister is doing a law degree.

I feel dirty.

eat her books... then eat her degree if she gets one... just tell her its for her own good

Most Americans worth their own spit think it's a corrupt system too, just so you know.

On balance then most lawyers are very similar to ticks. Damn I hate ticks. Shudder

wait, if ticks are like lawyers, and you get lime disease from ticks... then we have to kill all the lawyers!!!
*gets torches and pitchfork* i just wanna play mr ambulance chaser man!

I have a funny story about claims people...

Last place I worked was a saw mill, making the trusses for roofs. Ok, so anyway this guy came round and gave all the workers this talk, it basicly went along the lines of "Its Always somebodies fault." ergo, you trip over, its the shoemakers fault. You Piss yourself laughing, its the joke tellers fault..

Anyway, the next week we were happily getting on with work when the guy I was working next to tripped over the airlinehe was working with (all of the tools are worked by air-pressury thingies) and nailed the back of his leg with a nail gun... Mmmm nice... lots of blood, screaming and ambulances (Well one.) Right, so when the floor manager comes to check everyones story, to see what happened and "Who is to blame." we all blame the saftey talk guy, cause he didn't tell us not to trip over airlines that we are working with...

...Suffice to say there was this kinda civil war in the company about the time that I left

lovely, blame balme blame.... lets kill god cuz he made all this stuff!!!

There's the law firm here that is always advertising for ppl who were in car accidents and they have people tell about their experiences... I swear every single person who speaks for them was "driving a little red car" in their story.

I'm terrified because my car is red... LOL

I am a gibbon, and drink tar. Give me money.

i didn't understand the question. there i go with my small iq... blah

its ok elf, we can rebuild you, we have the technology. stronger faster and better than before. and this tiem we can make you understand all about thse dirty comanies that go around and say "harr harr, this guy shot his foot with a nail gun cuz he was trying to kill a catapiller!!! LETS GO SUE THE NAIL GUN MANUFACTURER!! the lawyers that take this kind of case are the people we are talking about....

LMAO!!

I just hope it all goes away sometime. I really hate this nonsense. Plus the ads are crap too.

One of em - Claims Direct - recently opened a branch in our town. I sooooooo wanna go in there, "trip" over summat, pretend I hurt me ankle, then ask to speak to one o their "dedicated team of expert advisors" on how to go about suin their arse...

i'm a stupid dumbass, so why should i have to wait on all these legal proceedings finishing to receive cash? just give me money now!
woops! i slipped on a clearly marked wet floor! i tell ya, i couldnt see the sign because it was facing away from me! give me cash! that money that the company has put away for building a creshe(SP)will do nicely.......

Ok... soapbox ravings (feel free to disagree)

Lawyers... they aren't ALL bad (that is - not all of them)

First - there are different types of lawyers for different types of law. Not all lawyers are bad (however you wish to determine bad - morally ethically, legally etc). Some are actually good... really...

Perry Mason is a good lawyer... although he only seems to be doing repeats now.

Digna Ochoa Placido was a good lawyer, up until she was murdered for defending the few rights of poor people (usually from ethnic minorities) in her native Mexico. She is not alone - in defending the rights of people most at risk OR being killed because of it (looks like there are some people out there who DO think lawyers are like ticks and should be killed).

The list of lawyers who deal with saving people from the excesses of justice systems around the world (including UK and USA) is a long one... take any repressive regime (at random) and you will find a handful of dedicated men and women who risk their skins to help people whom the rest of the world could care less about. Sometimes these people are lawyers.

Second - The majority of cases (specifically insurance related) that get dealt with - are treated sensibly... the vast majority... its only the minority of really dumb cases (where one side was asleep throughout the hearing or the judge was still on crack) that result in the bizarre stories you hear of... But the press like bizzare stories (they sell) so that's all we ever hear (unless you bore yourself stupid reading various law journals).

Then there are the adverts on TV... These adverts are designed to make people believe that if you do something really thick you can still claim and/or that if you have a genuine accident you can actually claim from some one/company who has nothing to do with it simply because they're rich. This is to get more customers and to try and scam anyone who can be scammed.

There are VERY dodgey lawyers out there who do bend, break, or ignore the rules in the eternal quest to screw people for cash... these are the scumbags that have been discussed so far in this topic thread so I don't need to add to the list of horror stories with my own.

Then there are the vast majority of lawyers who simply do their jobs - where there aren't any moral issues to get tangled up in, just problems that need to be sorted out.

Then there are the lawyers who take on the massive corporations (who will break Health and Saftey Law - endager their employees / members of the public and then deny they're in the wrong). These lawyers end up defending the 'little people' against the 'big corporate machine'... Think Samuri Lapin vs The Snaffleburger Corp. (although the Corporations do tend to win more).

Oh, no doubt there are worthwhile ones.

No win no fee companies give free ethic-ectomies to all their employees though.

Can I add my two-pennies worth here?

In a broader sense, I think that it's a bit of a misconception when people say that companies are evil.

What is a company?

A company is a bunch of people doing various jobs.

MacDonalds is considered an evil company. Does that mean that anyone working in MacDonalds is evil?

I think it's this that makes the issue of responsibility very vague - unfortunately, this is a symptom of capitalism.
The workers have to answer to thier managers, the managers to the directors, the directors to the shareholders.

Does that mean that it's the shareholders who have responsibility, and therefore it is they who are evil?

btw - I know nothing about business, so if i'm wrong about anything, feel free to shoot me down!

Bump. I also drank the tar. :( Give me money.

Mmmm....chocolate tar...

I mean, what? No! NEver!

Where's my money? ;_;

I have no money - I didn't drink my tar yet...

my mammie is suing our local council for leaving sewage outside her shop!

the companies are evil but i enjoy the mockage of local authorities so ...

Proof I tells ya. I have proof!

Get your proof here while it's proofy

I heard about that on the news!! That is ice cold, sackin people that way

Still, it's about what ya would expect from a company o blood suckin leeches... I only hope karma gets 'em!

wibble.

But I had to go with the tar, I had to make my guts mach my lungs :eek: