: I'm hoping experimentation (short of sex) will give me a hint, but we shall see. I can't say I've never wondered along those lines (ie are we compatible, how would you know, etc). Then again, several people have had strict courtships or even arranged marriages and ended happy in bed and out. I suspect those cases that you can either develop or improve what's there already.Cand:
I can't think of any of my friends who have expressed regret at losing their virginity when they did.
I do appreciate the perspective. It's nice that some people had better experiences than the ones I was surrounded by. Some of that might be the amount of depression in our little group. Work doesn't help as far as positive input as I'm surrounded by people that have usually had hideous experiences, but drug addicts and the often messed up families that produce them are not the best control group.
It is spiffy that it made you appreciate moop more. Learning experiences aren't necessarily a bad thing, for sure.
I don't think if I had waited to have sex until I met him that we would have shared some sort of deeper bond. I don't feel like I gave away a part of myself or something like that. I've just had more experience. Innocence is overrated, if you ask me.
Hm. This seems pretty individual and I'm wondering if it's related to your world views, the value on you place on it, etc.
I don't think people should pin many hopes on that first time being a memory they will cherish forever. I cared about the guy at the time, but I don't think I'd call the experience "special." It could be that I'm just strange, though.
I'm kinda expecting it to be semi-awkward, especially if it ends up hurting a lot. Daria
I don't get why people decide that they are more true to themselves if they deny themselves a big huge chunk of adult fun.
Well, part of it, is that people often aren't true to themselves. I'm sure this varies by group of friends, but how many girls have you seen put out to keep a man, because their boyfriend wanted it, because they were drunk, etc? Teenagers are notorious, but adult women or men aren't necessarily much better. I'm not telling people what to feel about their experiences, but the times I personally made out with people at parties or let them feel up? It wasn't some true to myself, exploring my desires crap. It was because everyone else was, because I was supposed to want this and because I desperate to feel something besides pain. Deciding to wait until marriage (for reasons religious and non) kept me from doing something stupid. People (I'm more talking teenagers here, but..) don't always know when they're ready or what they want, let alone enough to be 'true to themselves'.
Now that I'm older and supposedly wiser? Well, I waited this long and I'm not in a hurry. I don't -need- to have sex and it isn't like I go around having to repress myself all the time. When and if it happens, hey, awesome and I hope it works out. I don't feel more or less true to myself without it though, as I'm defined by a lot of things besides my desires.Smiler
I also just wonder what makes a wedding night so much more 'special' than any other night, considering it's a bloody stressful and tiring day.
Especially if it's one of the chicks that went insane with the wedding planning stuff. I don't get that either.