Back in the very distant past of these here forums, (2003) we had a thing called e-weddings. Now, just about everyone in their youth e-married off another lucky mzer for sh*ts and giggles and general cuteness all around - but there is one glaring, modly exception, someone whose social butterfly status acts as a glaring contradiction to her e-single peril. I speak of none other than the gorgeous, vivacious, sexalicious LoLo.

I know what you're thinking: you want a piece of that. You need to break off a bite of that white chocolate and savor the taste as it melts in your mouth, but she isn't just any lovely lady, my dears, she needs someone special and amazing.

And so, this is part tentative e-bachelorette and part 'what makes you good enough for this Goddess?' So please, ladies and gents and anyone willing and wanting to plunder this uncharted territory with your e-moves, tell us why you're worthy of looting this treasure trove.

You don't get the mormon holy underwear until you're married.

Also I never wanted to get e-married. I think I even founded the whole anti e-marriage club.

That's what makes this all ten times more taboo and delicious - seven years later...you hear the distant snap of mormon underwear clasps. Oh, and wedding bells.

Turns out I lied, prezgfish founded the club.

How long can we keep Lolo in our basement if we win?

Oh, however long you want - she's aaaaalll yours. And I'm her pimp.

Nope nope darling syuu. Read my sig. "Being pimped by Aries since 2003." Until you can find him and take me from him, I think you might just be s.o.l.

Gerl, Aries has been more MIA than Lord of Darness. He has relinquished his hat, cane, and license to sell you on a street corner like hot cakes.

Dear Lolo,

I have been searching for internet love for well over five years now, and all my efforts have returned is horrible date after horrible date. I've seen migets, registered sex offenders, legally crazy men AND women, and even someting that I'm not even too sure was a human. And so I've given up on looking on Craigslist for dates, and am now turning to Matazone.
Originally, my love was directed at Syuu, but I realised that as I will soon be a legal adult, she will no longer have any interest in raping me.

But you Lolo, you've got that special something. I can tell from the way your avatar looks directly into my soul.
I've two pairs of handcuffs.

Please love me back.

-Chelsey

FYI, you've warmed my heart so much that all the faux ice cream in my faux ice cream truck designed to pick up ladies your age by way of advertising puppies and ice cream has melted. It's all a flood of sugary, sappy flattery. I dare anyone to top Chels in charm or looks - nigh impossible, but if possible, it will be possible only on these forums.

Syuu, no one can compete with the complete and total stalker-level love I feel for Lolo.

Or my awesome facial hair:


Lolo, if you choose me, this mustache will tickle you in places and ways you never thought possible.

AWH YEEEEEEEEEAH

TWINS*.
only the coolest girls rock the 'stache. sadly, lo will only be feeling your 'stache on her favorite 'stache receptacles, as i am happily e-married to an e-husband and an e-beard. otherwise, we'd be having some 'stache olympics, and not the pleasant kind. do you think this is easy? it would be like trying to auction off brad pitt - he's pie to flatter, but boy if you aren't eyeing that front runner with the healthy burn of jealousy all up in your biznazz. that head of freshly dyed black hair, however, will compliment LoLo's assortment of skirts wonderfully. whoever wins her heart is one lucky bastard..
maybe we can all work out some kind of arrangement.

*the mustache is from andy, so, credit evilspoon.

I would like to breifly pause this battle of wits to say that you, syuu ma'am, may violate me anytime regardless of my legal-adult status, because you're gorgeous.


Lolo, you've got one day to say yes before I stand outside your window holding a boombox playing love songs.

This forum tends to bring the sexy - I'm never surprised at how people here look, it's just an expectation that you'll want to f*ck everyone at one point or another.

Anyone object to this thread/forum/entire internet being given over to pictures of syuu and voices and their fetching facial fuzz?

No? Thought not.

Lo - elope with me. You know it makes sense.

Lo - antelope with me.

What is it with girls wearing fake taches recently? I've seen more in the last twelve months than in the previous ten years I think.

...Fake? Who said anything about them being fake?

Mata, these 'staches are very real.

We're conjoined twins, and the way our faces are bonded together, the hair-growing-glands over lap, and our mustaches grow in the color of the opposite twins' hair. It only appears as if we're holding them on, we're actually stretching them to stress how nicely they've grown in. (I've shaved since then.)



Lo - cantaloupe with me. I mean can't elope. My mom would hunt you down. ...Lol that was lame. >_>

We've realized our inferiority to men and are taking steps to correct it - you'll find many of the mustachioe'd women don't shave or make sandwiches.

But no, I'm not sure. I was asked politely/assigned a mission to wear mine. Perhaps a mustache on a girl is both playful, ~edgy~ and yet drastically highlights her femininity by contrast.

Btw, *spanks Izzy* welcome to the party. Are you getting in on some Lo?

Unfortunately not. I'm sure she's outstanding and fabulously mustached, but I already have an e-wifey.

I think this might be one of my favourite threads

Cute girls with facial hair? Who wouldn't love this thread?

Lo, I'm married to 1961 Jean-Paul Belmondo but if the position is available I wanna be the official catcaller. I'll perch on the back pew and shout borderline-rude statements about the ridiculous attractiveness of both e-spouses (spice?)

It's what makes adds that special something to an e-wedding. A small, noisy, colorful human drunkenly slurring (and occasionally whistling) from the back row, who you simply cannot shut up.

Terrorist. That's who.


Elpha, I've only been to one wedding without a cat-caller drunk, and it was the worst wedding ever. So boring.


Lo, c'mon, baby.
You haven't been responding to the thread. Are you threatened by my advances?

she's actually in town with me - she'll be back in a little under a week.

and Chels, don't you mean 'terrist'? aren't you from Texas?

Daria, you win the mustache war.




The sad thing is that I actually do pronounce it "terrist".

However, I do not say nuke-ler. So I guess I get a few brownie points? Maybe?

isn't it nuclear? not 'new-cu-lar'?

Isn't it both?

Does anyone actually pronounce tomato "toe maut oe"?

Tuh mah toe
Puh tay toe
new clee er
alum in yum
terror wrist

ok, you can continue with the moustaches now

Ah loom eh numb
Toe may toe

"And the word you wanted was aluminium" - Adam Duritz

Tom ar toe
Bath (as opposed to barth)
Grass (as opposed to grarse)

and according to my nan boohk rather than buk

Well now Picasyuu... How could you overlook me? I have yet to be e-married, e-pimped, et cetera... The only thing I am is an e-pimp for SilverStarofDaTowers.... So clearly, I am the most eligible for one so illustrious as Lolo... I mean honestly, who else around here can possibly keep up a good romantic conversation in Latin?

May-tur.

Then serenade her! Woo her with your words, pictures, videos, what have you! *spanks* Get going!

I'm all in favor of wooing said lady... However, this is not the opportune moment for the lavish spectacle that would ensue... The coordination of champagne fountains to be timed with the momentous moments is such a finicky bit that frankly I wonder if Maverick can get the rest of the flying cats to get it all together in time for the most opportune moment... After all, I wouldn't dare attempt to do any wooing for such an almost untouchable beauty of such mythic proportions without the most grandiose of background music, the ultimate of romantic ice sculptures, the most perfectly shined and cleaned spaces, the ability to produce the exact drink or food which the gorgeous lady desires, and, most importantly, the complete and absolute blessing of her best friend... Which at this point I'm not entirely sure who/what/where is... And I still need to talk to the bartender to ensure the ability to concoct the drinks requested... oh, so much to do... so little time... *dashes off to get it all done*

I bought a unicorn for you today, Lolo.

We can ride into the sunset on it.

Here's a picture of me and the unicorn:



the only thing missing is a lady beside me...

Awwww!