Dear mother nature,
I would like to you to know that I love you dearly, but there are a few problems that I wanted to discuss with you.
First of all it is not okay to show up, at random, after two years without even a single phone call. You should at least give some sort of warning. Also, it is not nice to be erratic, you can't simply show up on random days of the week, you show up, stay a while, and go away. That is the way it has always been.
I love my two children dearly, but a two year stint of "Let's see how many times she can panic" is going overboard.
For that matter, please remember that you personally set up four seasons. That doesn't mean you get to throw them all at me whenever you want. Flowers bloom, it gets hot, the leaves fall off the trees, and it snows. Winter was almost non-exsistant this year, and then suddenly when it's time for spring you decide to throw some snow at me. Please understand that you are doing it wrong.
While you are at it, I'm not sure if you have been drinking with aunt flow... but be mindful that it is not supposed to be 100 degrees in spring. It's supposed to be a balmy 70. You are either drunk, high, or are getting a taste of your own medicine.
I hope this letter find you well, and you get off whatever crazy stick has been inserted in you hind parts.
P.s. I will find a forest and burn it down if you don't.