AMEN!!!
I've found that to b true, ive tried to stop - im trying to stop and ive stopped for a whole week now and i am very proud of myself! It doesnt sound much but to me it is...
...from what ive written peps can prob guess that im occassionally depressed and suicidal but i try not let my friends get involved... they know very little about such things in my life - even tho some try an help which in a way i thank them for cause it kinda helps but the scars on my arms an legs scare them so hey... I always think of suicide but i can neva go the distance there seems to b somethin that holds me bak here - maybe its my friends because they are my family that ive been able to choose, the people that, mean the world to me...

I used to go out with a girl that used to cut her self, while I never really understood why I just tried my best to make her happy, but i'd love to understand more.

Queenie...you know i'm allways here for you, or at least I hope you do. You always know you can talk to me. I know its easy to say that but its true.
please PLEASE be safe. you know I love you loads.

/me hugs L

he he... *cries*
Honey, u is part of my adopted family! An uve helped me alot these past few weeks!

I should damn well hope so. I just wish I lived closed

the beginning of Sixth Grade was theworst for me i was depressed all the time and had no one to talk to. IT was terrible.

I'm a very introverted person. It's very easy for me to become depressed and melancholic, for no apparent reason. I almost never smile, no matter how happy I am - it's just one of my things. My facial expression doesn't change unless I want it to, as a rule. I used to be very depressed - about a year and a half ago I spent perhaps six months in near-suicidal depression. I was in love, and heart-broken, and wanted to die and generally loathing myself for no good reason. I'm better now. I got over her. Then I fell in love with her again. Now we're together, and for the most part I don't go back to my old ways. Sometimes, though, I still get depressed, I still feel negative about myself, I dwell too much on the shameful tragedy of the human tradition and the meaninglessness of life, and then I just need to be alone. I can't dwell on the truth too much. We as humans need to distract ourselves from reality.
It doesn't help that I'm both emotional and aesthetic. I'm also extremely impulsive, and I will do stupid and dangerous things just to see what will happen. I think that if she died, I would kill myself out of a mixture of depression and romanticism - I really think I would do it just for the epic tragedy of the scene I would create. I have seriously contemplated, during some of my worse moods (and this was not when I was during the aforementioned period of suicidal depression, mind you) taking a lethal overdose of pills then immediately calling the emergency services, simply to see if they would get there in time.
I'm alone. I shouldn't be alone. I start thinking like this, and it spirals unless I have company. The problem is that I am an emotional masochistic. A part of me likes it, in a melancholy way, when I think like this, when I'm in a mood like this. But one day I think it will kill me.

*raises her hand*

Well I'm a bit late coming to this thread but that's because of computer death! In brief I shall say depressed - yes, suicidal, yes, lots of scars, yes...

That kinda sums it up.

It is possible to stop.....

please don't give me the it's possible to stop speech right now. i'm really not in the place where i can listen to it without hitting someone or something. the easiest way out i know at the moment is suicide. that will make everything stop, but i've got a feeling that wasn't what you were going to suggest. i've heard all the alternatives, all the answers. please don't make me listen to them one more time.

I know exactly how you feel, Wolf. Exactly. No, I'm not here to give you the "you can stop" speech. I'm only here as someone who understands those emotions. Maybe not the situation, but the emotions, yes. I know what it's like to be trapped in a dead end like that. I personally have found a way out (not really sure HOW, it just happened) but I really do wish you well. I really do. I don't want to know that you've hurt yourself in any way. I hope whatever has driven you to this gets better.

*smiles*

thanks aries. i guess things will get better eventually, but i've felt like this for so long that i'm used to it now. i get bad days (today being a prime example) and i get good days, but there you go.

it's sad that you understand the emotions, though i'm also kind of grateful.

It's not sad at all. It happens a lot actually. I have my good days and bad days too.....especially 'round these parts But there are many people including myself that understand these emotions and we're always here

I'm depressed. I've been depressed so long I have trouble even recognizing other emotions besides sadness, lonliness, and anger. I write poetry to purge my feelings. It keeps me from going completely suicidal. I was a LOT more depressed before I got on the internet. Now I have more people to talk to about it.

That's what happened to me too, Fey. Once I had an outlet to release all of this and just get it all out, it really helps. It really does. It also allows you to meet more people that DO understand then was possible without. That's just my viewpoint. And while I understand how you feel, I really wish the best for you. I've said it many times before, but everyone here on these forums are great and deserve more then they have been getting. This will change of course, it never rains forever.

Wow, Feyliya and Prince Aries, you two just expressed something that seems to apply to me too. I remember begging my mom for the internet one year and we finally got it. I became literally addicted. The reason I had wanted the internet so badly was for the potential emotional/friendship connections it could facilitate. I wanted so badly to try out chat rooms because I was desperately lonely and in need of some sort of companionship because I absolutely couldn't relate to anyone in my tiny Midwestern hometown. The chat room stuff helped some at first, but it wasn't until I made some lasting friendships in those chat rooms that I really started to feel happy. While the internet is no longer my anti-depression crutch (at least I don't think it is... ), I still enjoy using it as a tool to connect with other like-minded people. I'm bad at socializing and making friends in person, so the internet really is a magical dream tool for shy people like me...

Understandable Moonlight. I'm also small midwestern town imprisoned so I completely understand that. *nod nod*

Yeah, I think you're about 100 or so miles south of where I used to live, Prince. Sucks around there..

Oh really? Where'd you used to live, Moonlight? You've probably told me before....curse my infernal short term memory

And yes, yes it does. But by god I have video games, anime, a computer, and a forum. What more could a gay boy ask for?

Before you jump down my throat...just bear in mind that a) I'm trying to be helpful and B ) Maybe I'm speaking some truth...remember you don't really know me Wolfbane so for all you know I could actually be speaking the truth...

Sorry...I guess that was a bit harsh but i'm getting snapped at left, right and centre at work. I'm f*****g sick of being here and I've had enough. I shouldn't take that out on you.

Sorry

Ever heard of Decorah, Iowa? Well, I lived about 20 miles north of there in Harmony, Minnesota. I doubt you've heard of that one. It's practically on the border. Or close to it anyway.

Eeeek. Scurry stuff.

It's ok WeeJ - I understand about having a bad day. I was having one as well and I shouldn't have said what I did perhaps in that manner, but you've got to remember that you don't know me either, and for all you know I could actually be speakig the truth, as it relates to me. I understand that different people have different ways of coping with things, and I understand that you're just trying to help, but I've heard a lot of 'how things can change if you really put your mind to it' speeches and there are some days when I just don't need to hear any more. Nevertheles I do appreciate what you're trying to say.

Yeah, I guess.
I'm just trying to point out, that although this may not apply to you, a lot of people manage to lead a happy and healthy life after depression.

I'm sorry if i offended you

Oh I've no doubt many people do. I just think that it takes a lot of time and effort, and a hell of a lot of work, to be able to overcome something like clinical depression, and even then some people will end up on meds or having therapy for the rest of their lives.

But I wasn't offended - just having a bad day, which has progressed to a slightly better day today!

this sounds like a daft question...but what do meds actually do? Are they something used to mellow someone out?

Meds - short for medication. There are lots of different drugs that can be prescribed for depression, the most common being Prozac. Each med has a different effect, and though I'm not sure exactly what all of them do they each have a different effect. Prozac for instance alters the amount of serotonin which goes to the brain and so makes a person feel less depressed. Most meds work on a biochemical basis to treat the checmical factors surrounding depression, though placebo's can also be given to treat the psychological basis - give someone a drug that they think will make them better, and about 50% of the time they will start feeling better.

I heard about some kind of med on the news prescribed for teenagers with depression and they discovered it makes them worse and gives them more thoughts of suicide :/
Can't remember what it was called though.

There were some scares about Prozac as that's the most popular drug for depression, and in some people it does make them even more suicidal. I think that's a risk with almost any drug though.

I've been depressed for a long time now. I'm not sure why. It's really hard for me to be motivated to do anything other than smoke weed and drink beer. It's just hard for me to be happy. My brother Rick is heavily involved with his girlfriend. My brother Tim works like a Nazi. It's getting harder and harder to talk to my friends for various reasons. I feel like I have no one. My relationship with God has seen better days. At least that's shaping up. I need to ease up off the grass. I really do. Am I just feeling sorry for myself? I do need to get up and get into things, but it's just so damn hard, you know? (sigh)

well acording to my shrink i have "parinoya schizofrenia" or how ever you spell it and im have alot of suicidal tendecys... i dont think i have them that often but what does a shrink know??

wow..I have schizofrenia but I dont know what kind lol..my therapest never narowed it down...

I've thought about it often but id never have the guts to try to cut myslef....

If I do it I look psychotic....
If I dont im a wimp......

Ugh...it never ends....... :'(

that's the thing i went through...unfortunately after a lot of deliberation i went for the psychotic option...and i have never ever stopped regretting it...

I can understand if people get depressed every now and then but being a manic depressive just sucks for you and everyone around you. Take pills or something. And suicide is selfish ... people do it to get a rise out of others and to finally get some to care about them. God - i hate suicidals they just want attention.

actually i just think about what it would like to be dead. that and the fact that my familys always telling me that im ruining everything and i get in alot of fist fights with my 19 and 21 year old brothers (my lil bro levi is my baby). but every now and then i just thionk that everyone would be happeir if i wasnt there and i guess it happenbs alot but its better now it used to be 2-3 times a day and the only reason i didnt was because of levi but now its only 4-5 times a week and itll be better when i finnaly get my apartment.

Let me first start off by saying SOME suicidal acts are nothing more then attempts to get attention. But there is an honesty there, there is a fear, and there is something wrong.

Yes everyone gets depressed and it happens. But "take pills or something" is NOT the answer. That's just what America does to people like that. Pop them full of pills and declare them sound in mind. That's just avoiding the issue. It's better to work through these things....SOBER.....then getting high on these pills and numbing everything.

And saying you hate suicidals...that's really harsh and I really pity you for saying that. That makes me really sad. Because all they want is NOT attention. Like I said prior, some maybe, and it's really a subconscious thing. But there are many who are NOT after attention, they honestly believe that there is no other way out, which of course is not true. There are so many people every year who kill themselves for their own reasons, without ever knowing another way, a better way. How can you say you HATE people like that? People afraid and feeling helpless? They should be getting our ears, our shoulders, our words. Not our hate. That's what causes it in the first place.

I have to agree with Aries there. My sister is depressed a lot, but not ever serious enough to commit suicide or take pills, and the last reason she's depressed is because of attention. I get your point of some people doing it for attention, which is completely true. But there are people who have depression for a number of reasons, and to paint them all with one brush is very harsh.

I agree one hundred percent with Aries. As someone who's been depressed for years, and has to deal with suicidal feelings on a daily basis I think, mismatched, that you're wrong.

Yes there are some people who do it for attention, but there are others who do it because for them there is no other way out. They feel so much pain and hurt, and have no way of dealing with it that death is the best option. Believe me I've been in that place so f***ing much, and I hate it, but there's nothing I can do about it. 'Taking pills' isn't an option because that disguises the problem rather than dealing with it. I don't want to feel like this, but I do. I don't want to put my friends and family through hell by killing myself, so I keep going, but each and every single day I feel worse. I know people who've tried to kill themselves, I know some who have succeeded, and I think that in most of those cases they really believed there was nothing else they could do.

How can you hate people who are so scared and afraid that they have no hope that things can get better?

i agree with Aries as well

Thats a pretty blunt statement, especially since you say all suicidals....

A close friend of mine is manic depressive. She can't help it, and I'm not sure why you feel she should be blamed. She is on medication, but that just makes the symptoms milder. As somebody who is very often depressed, I'd like to point out that there is a whole shitload of nothing I can do about it. I'd love to be happy all the time, but I'm not, and I think it's extremely unfair of you to generalise both suicidals and those with mental disorders. Nobody is suicidal because they want to be suicidal. And people don't do it for attention with the exception of maybe a few annoying kids who should be kicked to death - they do it because they're depressed.

Sorely mistaken.

Suicidals just want to end the pain they're suffering through their own death.

ditto (u have not gone mad, i AM agreeing with Missy)

How about this....I know many of us have been in the situation where you are talking to a friend who is suicidal.....maybe not ready to do it just yet but REALLY thinking about it. What do you say? How do you react? I've tried and I know very little of what I say, helps, but do you think that maybe just BEING there is enough, or does there need to be something more there...some real substance in what you're trying to say? The big thing is...you want to help them but you feel you cant because you dont know what to say.....how many of you have been in that situation? Discuss.

I'm sleepy right now so I'm not reading the curent convo at the min so I cant respond to anything said recently...I'm just posting so that all those who were worring about me and stuff can stop I haven't cut, burned, or even thought of my own death at my own hands....meaning I've been strangly happy *laughs* so I'm posting to put everyone's mind at ease
BTW when I've had some sleep lol I'll respond to curent convo

I've had to deal with suicidal friends both in real life and online, and in both cases the best thing you can do is just to be there, to listen, to be yelled at, to be cried on - anything as long as it helps. Most of the time I think it's a case of needing someone to talk to, to be reassured that there are people who care about you and that you're not alone in what you're thinking or feeling. Even just by saying 'I know what you mean' it's possible to make someone realise that they've got someone who understands them. The deep, profound stuff is over-rated a lot of the time - it's the little things that can mean the most.

There is some girl who lives in my old home town who is an aquatance (sp?) of Mat and myself. I don't know her that well but i've chatted to her and know she has a reputaion for being a bit wild at times.
anyway, she texted Mat on Saturday night saying 'I'm so sad, i want to kill myslelf, I've had enough' and so on a so forth.
We then later discovered that she had sent the exact same text to lots of other people...
Is this attention seeking or someone who needs help...?

i would say it's probably attention seeking, weej.....BUT....everyone who seeks attention does it for a reason. and whatever that reason is, i'd imagine she needs help with it.

basically i think that anyone who says "i'm going to kill myself" needs help in some way or another, even if they are only doing it to call attention to themselves (but good lord, no way is that the case with all suicidals, in my opinion). some people call it a cry for help, and i'd have to agree with them. healthy people don't just do things like that. there has to be something seriously wrong for someone to say such a thing.