So, any of you feel the need for some verbal abuse, all you have to do is ask. Feeling pent-up confidence that needs some deflating? Obscenely happy, and none-too-happy about it?

Not to worry, Jonman's here to save the day. Not only will I make other folk point and laugh at you, I'll creatively insult aspects of you that may or may not have been insulted before.

Just let me know why I should insult you, and Bob's your uncle, you spam-encrusted bunch of left-footed wellington-boot-faced numpties.

um.....

AHA! wisdom is spelled with a J ...

well, i do enjoy being insulted by people i don't know... so have at'er

I'll take that as a request for abuse, you misspelling, pastelheaded pot of clam chowder. I can but hope that the good lord, in his munificence, sees fit to rain down showers of rancid jelly upon your untutored, blobular digits in retribution for your vicious assault on the innocent alphabet.

Can you tell me what a bad, bad, bad boy I am? I'm a very bad boy.

Irish - That's disturbing and I think it's time for the verbal spankings.

Jon - His Royal Highness Aries needs a good verbal thrasing the very likes this forum has never seen before. I'm a flippant absent minded fool who rambles incoherently. Bring your worst.

I don't know about religion being the opiate of the masses - stupidity seems to be your drug of choice. That's the only way I can explain the stench of idiocy that seems to emanate from you, you knobbly-elbowed flotsom on the sea of humanity.

Bad like Michael Jackson.

*dusts hands off*

My work here is done.

*applause* That was indeed verbal abuse unlike any *I* have ever seen.

OO! OO! ME! ME!

His Royal blah blah blah needs a good verbal thrashing? There's nothing good about the things I've got to say about you, I'm afraid.

Do they call you Aries because of the unsightly lumps growing out of your head, or because of the all-pervading miasma of goat excrement that invariably accompanies you on any of your unwelcome visits? Or is it because of the synapse-meltingly boring RAMbling that you mutter about? Which incidentally has been the only thing to make me consider gleefully filling my ears with superglue since Celine Dion's chart-topping days.

Ouch. That's harsh, man. Thank you!

/me steps up for a verbal slagging...

What, is you sig some kind of sick joke? An eyeball, followed by text so small it can't be read? You some kind of twisted degenerate who enjoys taunting blind and semi-sighted folk? I suppose you take great pleasure in challenging quadraplegics to a race, or playing Blind Man's Buff with a deaf person who's 'it'.

People like you make me sick. To the stomach.

*looks debaser up and down*

It'd be like shooting fish in a barrel - even I don't have the heart.

NEXT!

right, I'm taking the stage for one....

I'd like to dedicate this one to my keyboard ... as good a target as any ...

Keyboard? KEYBOARD? Call yourself a keyboard? You multi-function no-action cheap plastic 102-key bag of rabbit droppings ... your multimedia buttons work worse than a bag of viagra in a hand clinic for compulsive players of the one-string oboe, you pre-molded ergonomical slab of donkey's gonorrhea! You clic-clic-clac like a fart on crack and suck the puss off a dead dingos gonads!

ehem.

Thank you.

whats all this ruckus aboot. eh.

I got called a hoser this morning, think you can top that?

do your worse jonman!! <laughs bravely>

Hey, I could use some abuse.

ow...that kind of hurt .....on the inside..

Verbally abuse me, you annoying letter swimming in a putrid bowl of donkey urine!

Hoser, hm? As in someone that hoses? So, you like gardening then? I'm afraid that there's just no point in hurling verbal abuse at someone who's into gardening. It goes waaay over the line of bad taste, even further than I'm prepared to go. Like telling Jewish jokes at a bris.

Gardening...

pfft.

can you insult me again?

Hoser : A clumsy, boorish person, especially an uncouth, beer-drinking person.

But i do kinda like to garden. I plant tree's for the local green peace-ish people. wait thats not gardening. I hate gradening what with the bee's and the flowers.

You couldn't handle my worse, kiddo. I doubt you could handle my worst either. And I'm certainly not going to let you handle my wurst.

A wise man once said that bravery is simply stupidity with the absence of fear. He didn't mention anything about being a wrong-faced mould-obsessed chump, but I guess he was leaving it open to interpretation.

i am your god.

tell me what you truly think of me jonman!

meh. couldn't be much worse than any other comments i've had directed at me. have at it.

Right, you've obviously got a lot to learn about the noble and oft-forgotten art of verbal abuse, you sack of furry meerkat's kneecaps. Let me start at the start:

Starting your abuse with 'annoying letter' is a bit weak, even for one such as yourself. 'Annoying'? That's as abusive as cuddly toys. And as for 'letter'? Obscure and leftfield is all well and good, but the only intellect that's belittled by references as obtuse as that, is your own.

'Putrid bowl of donkey urine' is getting better, if a little predictable. Creative use of linguistics is the true marque of a pro insulter. See my above insult in the first paragraph.

Playtime's over. Back into your box, you scuttling spewtum on the toecap of the species.

pah! sack of FURRY meercats kneecaps? whats original about that? meercats have been furry sinse god knows when. cant they be shaved or dyed pink?

personally i think this whole thing reeks like a month old used johnny that has somehow found its way out of its usual watery habitat and manifested itself as the ruler of the united alliegiance of ants somewhere underneath the m25, shortly before being joined by the contents of j's "clean" underwear drawer and taken over. with a cherry on top.

No.

God? No I don't think so - maybe a typo for 'dog', but I'm afraid I'm not into that kind of kink.

So, god? No. worthwhile insulting opponent? Maybe.

... so, a challenge to the tattoo'd nob-end of a nats wing-wang .... 25 words or more of coherent abuse with no animal references, please ... make it a goodie ....

and remember kids, let's keep it clean.

ermm, you never know with the printed word, but ..... was that the worlds most massive side-step ever?

Oh right, so I'm the tattoo'd gnat-nob? I missed that.

this was supposed to be a cue to insult.....lol

Quiet, whining harridan - there's only so much insulting a man can do in one day. Your incessant fishwife's bickering will only make the creative process of a genius such as myself all the more time-consuming.

Hey, well you clearly are a letter! I mean, look at the back of your head!

I need some verbal abuse. I feel the karmic scales aren't quite balanced. I've been doling out abuse left and right and no one has been abusing me. so. Yeah.

Does a letter have a head? No, it doesn't. Ergo, I am not a letter. The fact that I had a silly haircut some time ago does not change the essense of my being.

Now, you ought to get back to dancing with Miss Piggy as you are clearly a muppet.

LMAO!

(okay. That's my spam for today)

Karmic scales, eh Jaq? Bit of a guilty conscience? I dread to think what depraved acts of debauchery go on in the dank depths of your sick and twisted mind to could actually bring on such feelings in one so dispicable as yourself.

*shudder*

I made a thread.

hmm. i get no verbal abuse?

oooh! i need verbal abuse! please mr. hit me hard.

If you verbally abuse me, I will injure you. But go ahead anyway.

bump to the front page

dangit, i want abuse!

i wish i could give all the people i think deserve abuse it. but id get kicked for profanity. so not a good idea. but there is only 1 person i woluds anyway. i think he knows who he is.