Like I stated in Daft, argue out what you think of it. Right, wrong, to be waited for, doesn't really matter, how do you feel about the horizontal hanky-panky?

My thoughts on this...

Well, one nighters are okay at the time, but they're a bit unfulfillin really... I never really enjoyed 'em that much to be honest. I much prefer bein intimate wi someone I actually care about, it's far nicer

Me first time was a one-nighter... but I kinda wish it wasn't. That said, I dun think I coulda waited till I was 25 before I did it (that was when I met the future Mrs. leopold!) Basically, do what ya feel is right at the time, but consider the first time bein wi someone ya care about.

There's nowt wrong with it in the end... it's a perfectly natural thing to do an it's a great way of sharin intimacy an gettin some exercise, all in one go, an it dun cost anythin!!

That said, all you who are underage, I'm not sayin this to ya. Keep yerselves outta trouble!

Horizontal hanky panky? I'll have to remember that one

Well for one thing, I will say this about sex (I use the term sex lightly, I mean any sexual situation): IT IS OVER RATED.

Completely and utterly. With that out of the way, I'll press forward. For me, it's a VERY rare thing for me to be involved in a sexual situation and when I am, it's always a big let down. Doesn't feel right, physically and mentally. Now of course, that makes me wonder if, for myself, it's more of a mental thing as opposed to a physical thing.

I think sex is best enjoyed with someone there is emotional attachment to. It doesn't make it so empty and cold and so darned redundant.

Sex without love is nothing.

Sex when you are in love with somebody.


Wooooooooooooooooooooooooow

*sings the 'Lets talk about sex' song*


i dun really know...but i think one nite stands give you bad reputation...not to mention countless possible dizeeses you could get...methinks sex and love mix well so thats my answer..

So what did we learn today?

*silence*

thats rite...package your meat!

Me thinks if you are careful and know when the time is right (and you'll know) that the person you love is the right choice for making love. I found mine and I love him dearly and we both respect our thoughts and wishes and being intimate is perfectly normal.

It might be lil awkward the first time, or it might be like it all falls into place (no pun intended ). No matter it can be an everlasting experience to remember. Just use common sense, that's all

you should have sex when your ready to, it's as simple as that. For me i think it would be best if i did it when i could handle a baby if it happens.

For me, I kinda wish I would've waited. Spiritual reasons mainly. I was able to hold out until my eighteenth birthday and I lost it to my best friend/fiancé at the time. Now, well, I guess I'm spoiled goods, so I'm sexually active. I do try to limit my sexual activity, especially after banging Brandy six times (Why, God, why?).

I don't think that there's anything wrong with sex, provided that it's between two consenting 'adults' (read those mature enough to be able to deal with it). Sex with someone you care about is always a good thing. I guess one night stands can leave you emotionally drained, or whatever it is (not having had one I wouldn't know), but then if you're both doing it for enjoyment value and you know there's nothing in it then that's ok too I guess.

Amen to that, Wolf. There is such a thing as f***king, which I count as just pleasure, what the physical body feels. No emotional attachment, but there is always making love, someone you really care for. That's the best thing right there. Not that it will ever happen to me

I've never had a one night stand so I couldn't comment on that.

I can't understand the big religous hang up on sex...its how we reproduce and its natural. If anything, they should consider it one of gods gifts.

I had my first one night stand last weekend, and definatley 100% my last, it was awful.


(I'm not a slut!)

What if the one night stand person turned out to...erm...lack in personal hygien...down there...so to speak...?

Actually I think it's their way of controlling the population. The church added it all in to their....er...rules?....to stop promiscuity (sp?) and lots of unwanted babies. Besides, who do you know that listens to the 'Church'! I've known quite a few Christians in my time to be big fat hypocrites which is a real shame for Christianity as a whole BTW the way, I'm not Christian, I used to be. I'm Pagan now and it feels much better but horse for course an' all that

Anyhoo that was a bit off topic! As far as sex goes I don't 'do' one night stands. I can't! I get too emotionally attached to someone I have sex with. To me sex is as much as mental thing as a physical thing. I love my boyfriend dearly and that makes our sex fantastic. I'm not saying that you can't have a great one night stand just that I can't bring myself to do that. I never sleep with anyone on the first date or rather I never sleep with anyone I don't know really well. My current bloke when we first slept together it was the first night we had done anything at all physical but I had known him for over 1 year and we 'knew' each other mentally.

If I'd waited to have sex until I was ready to have children then I'd still be a virgin today and for the foreseeable future!

Does that make sense

Sam
x

I never had that happen to me.....luckily I HAVE been in bed with a guy and his penis was sooooo small that it actually shocked me. It put me right off! I just decided not to sleep with him and we just fumbled about a bit. It kinda depends what your 'one night stander' is expecting from you. If they are expecting sex then you're kinda in a bind and you'll have to do some fast thinking/talking

Why? Has that happened to you?

Sam
x

I was smart and protected, as always.

thank god for that!

Under all my sillyness runs a river of common sense.

Really?! You too!?! Nice to hear that I'm not the only one!

Sam
x

My view on sex:

It's fun. It doesn't have to be emotional, but many people make it that way. I wish I could actually get some.

I like having sex. In fact I love having sex. It's fun, and only gets to be a drag if your partner likes to always have sex in the same way. For instance, my ex bo. He was kind of exciting at first, we went and had sex in diff places, diff positions, all the time. By the end of the relationship it was, always in bed, and always in 1 of 3 positions. Blah boring.

One night stands are great if you can handle that. People who can handle one night stands are people who aren't in the mindset of sex is love and love is sex. Hell I'd have a one night stand if I could meet a guy who even wanted to see me naked. I personally don't know how ready I am for emotional attachment with people I don't know, but sex, sure. lol

amen Lolo! I'm with ya girl!
I think it is a matter of perspective. If you associate sex with love, the ONS are not the thing for you. But I look at sex as a act of gratification. So I am pretty open. Now if I am in love with someone, sex takes on a whole different meaning. Then it becomes an act to be worshiped.

Totally agree with Lo and Rav - there's a difference (but not a huge one) between sex for sex's sake (i.e. mutual enjoyment and gratification between the folks involved), and sex as part of a deeper relationship, which, as far as I'm concerned, is an essential part of the bond.

However, if a relationship's right, you can have fun sex, as well as intimate sex, sometimes even at the same time.

I personally feel that a lot, if not most, people are too hung up on the idea, and it's taboo-ised (sic) far too much.

One thing I do think is that sexual technique ought to be part of the national curriculum at schools worldwide - obviously not at a young age, but as a final lesson before you leave school. Too many people (so I hear ) have no idea.

Never had a one nighter, so I can't comment on that aspect of sex. Deep meaningful sex w/ the one ya love tho is great, that's all I can say. Except after awhile sex seems to lose *some* appeal through the sheer virtue of the fact that you now have to clean up after it like you would brush your teeth or take a shower after work.

it's like, man i'm horny and she's horny, but it's too hot, i still need to be able to use my legs for the rest of the day, and i just showered.

i honestly don't see why sex is seen as an immoral act. like it's been said in this topic already...it's a natural thing.

that being said, i don't think anyone should have sex before they are emotionally ready. whether they are 14 or 40....it just depends on the person. and they shouldn't be called a "slut" or "whore" or any of the other lovely names we invent for each other simply because they were young when it happened for them or because they have multiple partners throughout their life. like i said in the "are you a virgin?" thread...such a choice is no one's business except that person's.....and they shouldn't be judged for that. they should, OF COURSE, protect themselves.... but a "bad reputation" isn't deserved.

i say, as long as you are okay with what you are doing emotionally and you protect yourself, then more power to you. i for one would never dream of looking down on you.

having only been with one person (the one i'm married to, obviously), i can't comment on the one-night stand thing from personal experience. but i agree that if both parties agree that there's no emotional attachment, it's fine. they should be clear on that before anything happens, however, or i think that could lead to one party sitting by the phone, upset, waiting for the other to call.....

i feel that having sex is not immoral, but i dont feel you should be having sex unless you can deal with what might happen because of it, may it be pregnacy aids or anything else. because if you cant your just going to make your life a living hell.

ive been with 5 guys my life (im 17) i lost my virgenity at 15 and wasnt ready and this last year i had sex with 4 guys for a grand total of 12 times (2 of them were one night stands) and i have no problem with people that are sexually active, untill they get an abortion.

I'm sorry this just made me bust up, cause it's just funny, but at the same time soooooooooo true.....good call. lol

To many non-spiritual religeous folks, sex is something that is kept to themselves and scorned when seen in general society. To hevily spiritual Christians, like me, sex is seen as beautiful and one of God's greatest gifts. I personally believe that sexuality is interwoven with our personalities and that it is one of the most precious things we have been given by God.

I have had a one-night satnd. The chick's name was Brandy. I want to bash my head against a wall for sleeping with her. It's something I whole-heartily regret and I'll advise anyone not to have one. I felt so empty and dirty afterward, plus I was afraid of having an STD. So, I'm going to watch who I have sex with until I get married.

Here's a thought: If a chick has sex twenty times, she's called a slut. However, if a guy has sex twenty times, he's congradulated. It makes you think how patriarchal our society really is.

with 20 different people or just 20 times?

I've had sex hundreds of times but only actually ever been with one person.

sex......hmmm whats that?



*innocent look*

i have no idea what these daft ppl are speaking of.

Why God? Why did you let me sleep with Brandy? Why couldn't I have gotten a limp dick or something? Why, Lord, why?

Righteous, it happens dude... what's done is done. If yer worried about an *ahem* unwanted memento, go to a clinic. Best advice I can give (after wakin up an thinkin much the same stuff one time) is to shrug yer shoulders an move on. No point dwellin on it, it happened, it can't be undone... jus chalk it up to experience, an next time keep yer old fella in yer pants. Or at least use a condom.

erm... one night stands generally suck, but I did have one that was extremely cathartic, as I was doin the deed wi some chick on the day of me ex-gf's birthday... this was a LOOOOONG time ago, mind, back in the days when I was a bit more of a bastard...

*nods*

Hey, I lost it to my best friend. How cool is that?

the lord is vengeful, you've clearly done something incredibly evil to have sex with a girl 6 times, you bad bad man, did you eat a baby?

"And the lord bade those beneath him to not have sex with a girl 6 times, above all other sins."

Now, my Scripture knowledge may really not be up to much, but I'm sure I'd have remembered that one.

Sex for the most part is ultimately in your head, if not take for example , phone sex, and cyber sex. In guys it's very visual and tactile, for women it involves more senses and and a lot of thinking.

Sex and love (of any kind) are not mutually exclusive and non age dependant, it's the arrogance of government and religion to set a age limits for appropriate sexual conduct.

One night stands, for most people can fullfill the basic need, to others an unrepeatable adventure ( whether good or bad). And yet to others its an addiction, like anything, too much of a good thing makes it bad(?)

Spiritual , religion for the most part was the ultimate authority nobody would question, so for population and disease control , sins were made and consecuences followed.

If this day and age you reach 11 yeas old and don't know that "peeing" in a girl's bum makes babies, your wanker should be snipped off just for being stupid.

The days of sexual ignorance are over, you know what happens, and how. Nobody has an excuse or the right to whine and blame the media, governmant, church for misinformation from any source, school, friends or family.

In this world everything is purely subjective and points of view are constantly shifting, girls read Cosmo, boys read Penthouse.

i wouldn't say sex without love isn't worth it...par exemple, i have a friend who sometimes end up in 'situations' with and there isn't love, just best-mate affection type stuff...and it's good because on a platonic level we 'luv' each other.
but, i will agree that sex with love and all the trimmings is far better. it's the best way of cementing the bond between two people, especially if you were both virgins, because you've shared something no-one else could ever have with either of you.
hence i agree also that you should wait until it's with someone you care about.
one night stands...i think it depends on you personally. but as long as you have fun and no-one's mislead i think they're good for people.
hmmm...awfully long post for me...*proud*

"And the LORD doth chastise James. The LORD sayeth unto James, 'Thy penence shalt be that thy cannot remove this hideous instance from thy memory.' And there was much suffering upon James, who doth bangeth his head against a wall many times."

-Book of Idiocy, chapter 5, verses 11-13

well....
sex is good as long as it's safe.

"everybody does it.
it's just that they don't talk about it"
-sarah michelle gellar, cruel intentions