It wasn't so much groping as she just kept placing her hand on it like she owned me. That just got my back up! I hate people invading my personal space when they aren't asked to!

Aww crap, so I guess that's not gonna get me women

Yeh, I have major personal space issues and hate people touching me when I don't like them or they seem fake. Ugggh *shudders*

I don't think you're alone there. I know lots of people that don't like it. Like when I'm out shopping and surrounded by people or at a gig. If someone stands too close to me I freak a bit. I just feel really uncomfortable. Not wanting to sound all new age but it's like they are disturbing my aura man!

I'd love to find a good gay bar or club in Sheffield but I've heard that the scene is limited. Perhaps I should look to Manchester. Any ideas anyone? Anyone fancy a Gay Clubbing Meet?

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*runs from the new age, pot smoking hippie*

nah, I'm with u on the uncomfortability (my friend invented that word a year ago) of closeness. With you... but standing >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>ova here (so's we aint too close).

Which brings me to the point of people that like to be in your face when they talk to you. I like at least a 1.5 space between me and them. Some people I dont mind being close to tho. But Gawd I hate 'in your facers'!

I'm gonna stop spamming now.

*always up for going to gay bars / clubs (cept when I go through my homophobic stages - should post about that). Too bad I live soooo far away.

*starts drinkin pond water in the hope it will get smaller and result in Australia becoming closer to the UK*

Peh SALTY!!!

/end spam

I hate people invading my space too. theres a guy who keeps doing it even though ive told him several times to back off. and to make this post remotely on topic, the guy tells the world he is straight, has secretly told me hes bi but i am certain he is gay and im his last ditch attempt to prove hes not.
and he has no respect for women.
gah.

The only touble with gay clubs is they play really really crappy music.
And Sam, you can come dance round your handbag in Birmingam any time you like darling

And as for the gay club we were heading to tonight, we decided not to go as it was really far away and closed at 11.

I'm so there, dude (now imagine Spicolli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High saying that). I've always worn the skirt in relationships and I do other girlie (or as the guys say, "faggish") things. I'm not afraid of ashamed. Some think I'm confused or something in my sexual identity, but truly it's just the opposite; I am very secure in my sexuality and thus am not obsessed with masculinity.

And yes, I agree about guys. A guy has to be really hot before I'm attracted to him (most guys I wouldn't screw with a stolen dick.

What if it was someone you knew and fancied?

I groped a friends knee last night, infact I also ate popcorn off of her leg. I fancy her and was testing the waters but didn't get any unusual response at all.

I grope a friend of mine's knee all the time, and he knows I'm interested He occasionally gets annoyed, but he gropes his friends' knees all the time. However, I don't think he's interested that way in them. His friends hate it more than he does

I'm a very physical person if I know them. Occasionally I really tick people off, but they learn to deal, and I have to back off a bit too. But I like to touch, one of my ways of connecting.

Affirmative action=BLEAH. It messes things up more.

I'm impressed that people can be so touchy-feely around their straight male friends. I played at being straight for so long that I now have personal-space issues with straight guys faking coming-on to me. I also have a very quick eye in the changing rooms.

Ah, yes, I have to admit to peeking once in a while. What can I say? I'm curious. And though I'm sure by now I'm a heterosexual, that's not to say I don't occasionally get light homosexual feelings. I mean, when someone just looks *perfect*...

Umm... I was just reading a couple of the above posts.. Just feel like I should add my two cents.

I'm a pretty (I guess you'd call it) "touchy" person. Usually just me and my friends all get together, joke around, and casual flirt. I usually don't flirt with people because I'm interested.. because it's fun.

Anywho.. I'm bi.. *dun, dun, dunnn* I'd say that I'm probably bi because of my real father and other negative experiences with males envolved..

There were a lot of issues with him up until him and my mom got a divorce, and even after that a lot of the females in my family got cheated on or abused by their husbands.. I suppose it's just an impression I got when I was young, and it just stuck with me all these years.

Sorry folks... I'm a bit of a man hater. Doesn't mean I don't like all of you though.

Anyhow, now I'm in high school.. and I have a girlfriend.. and she's bi too. So.. erm.. yeah. *creeps out*

QUOTE

And if someone is bisexual, do you think it's ok to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time?

Oh, and in response to the first post. No, I don't think it's okay to have a girlfriend AND a boyfriend at the same time if you are bi... even if they know about eachother and don't mind. I believe in one partner at a time, and being faithful to him/her.. To me, that is just cheating no matter what kind of spin you put on it.

I'm rather "touchy" myself but that's only because I'm an affectionate person and I like to hug and kiss my friends. It's just a thing I do. I've had problems with girlfriends thinking I'm "cheating" on them because I'd hug and kiss friends in the hallways. If the other person's a personal space oriented person, I'll be affectionate only within the person's comfort zone. I dunno. That's just how I am.

And with the original post, I have a hard enough time keeping track of myself and can barely keep track of my girlfriend. Add another person into the relationship and I'd go nuts.

I would never have a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time but I would consider having "fun" with a girl while I was with my bloke. Ed doesn't mind. As I've said before. If I was with someone that did I obviously wouldn't mind. I couldn't have two partners though. It's just my opinion but I think that's strange and little greedy



As I said WeeJ, she wasn't asked. If I fancied her and invited it then that's fine by me. You offering?

Daft question

I guess so!

Oooh are we gonna get to see some Weej and Pixiegoth knee groping?

wouldn't put it past us

*takes a popcorn* Mmm perfect view of all knees. [/spam]

Hmm...I keep trying this knee groping thing on people, and its more than the type of person your groping. People seem to have an in-built radar to spot people who are naturally touchy and assume I'm just being a flirty friend.

Ever read the book Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit?. Its about a girl who is brought up in a christian home, and discovers that she is lesbian, and is sorty cast out by her family and church.

So back to the bisexual thing and refering to the title

It is true that oranges are not the only fruit, but we may choose to ingore all other fruits, so oranges CAN be the only fruit!

PM me if you got that!

Smee xxx

Since this thread already existed I thought I'd move the conversation over to here from the 'Fetish and Fantasy' thread.

The current discussion is mainly in response to this post



Taking on a label is a big thing for many people. I know it was for me when I realised I am bi. Bi-curious is often a saftey net for people who are unsure. It's easy for people to assume that they are straight, and arguably it's currently easier for people to say that they are gay than it is to say that they are bi (I'll give a reason for that very controversial idea in a moment). Saying you're bi feels like you are tearing yourself away from communities, but people often find themself, a few years into their sexual life (or many more), thinking about people of the same gender in a sexual way. They're not sure that this is something that they would want, but they feel that it holds some appeal.

I'm not sure if I agree with Funk's definition of bi-curious for this reason: if you are bi-curious then given the right circumstances you will resolve into a more firm definition of your own sexuality, that may be bi, it may be straight, it may be gay. Curiousity is something that can be sated, and when this has happened there will be a result. It may turn out that you are actually bi, or that you didn't like the daliance you had, but either way you will get information to resolve the curiosity.

The reason I say that it is sometimes harder to say that you are bi than it is to say you are gay is because of the amount of incomprehension and pressure I have had at times in my life in response to my bisexuality, especially from the gay community. There have been campaigns to not let bi men into gay clubs by lesbians, I have been told that bisexuality does not exist by gay people, I've been told that I'm really gay and just can't admit it by both straight and gay people, and there are more examples... It's hard to say you are bisexual when there are many people who see you as a threat, a pervert, a traitor (oh yes, bisexuals are traitors to gay liberation because we can 'pass' for straight people), a disease carrier, or as insatiable sexual predators.

I've got older now, and I see more that to move on in the world we need to make distinctions less important rather than more important. I happen to have been dating a woman in a monogamous relationship for 4 1/2 years. If I ever split up with Sues at some time in the future then it's possible the next person I date will be male.

Of course, given the social pressure that same-sex relationships have on them, I'm not going to kid myself and say that it is the most likely turn of events. It's easier to be in a heterosexual relationship for many reasons, but affairs of the heart are strange things so anything would be possible.

I think Fallen Destiny has the right idea in that s/he concentrates on desire, rather than action, as being the defining aspect of a person's sexuality, but I suspect the way that it was conveyed clouded the point greatly.

I can't read most of the posts at the beginning of the thread by the people who don't have avatars, and I heard the slow moaning of The Ghost of the English Language turning around in his wine cellar. So anyway, I will just read Mata's post as he is usually the smart one.

After reading...

Well that gave me nothing to discuss so I will just have to use the thread title.

After more harsh reading...

Well some people say that there are things and motives behind bisexuality. Some people say people can feel pressured into being bisexual if they are gay but in society everyone else appears to be straight. But are they really bisexual or gays forced to act like a hetero? Alot of people say that environment and childhood can effect sexuality, but I can't really go into that.

I myself am gay, and I don't do it because I want to be, or to look smarter or cooler. I just am, it's not a thing I was motivated to do.

I think you'll find that that idea has already been covered in the previous eighteen pages of the thread. Rather than discarding Mata's long and thoughtful post and stating your own (and far from unique) opinion, why not try to make something of a debate out of this thread? We might actually move the conversation on, rather than make empty statements and irritating remarks.

And in the spirit of making our posts worthwhile (though probably not in the spirit of being nice to everyone ):

I think that the Kinsey Scale is the answer to all our problems with defining sexuality. It very neatly destroys the idea of sexuality as two or three distinct orientations, and shows it rather more accurately (in my opinion) as a continuum. Where it fails, however, is in that it describes sexuality according to action, rather than desire. This completely ignores people who realise that they are homosexual/bisexual/anything-other-than-0-on-the-Kinsey-Scale, having spent a lifetime repressing their true sexuality because of social pressures or ignorance. I would say that sexuality should be determined entirely by judging how much you desire each sex. Action can indicate that you have a desire (for instance, some homosexual/6-rated men who produce kids must have some small desire for their wives, or they'd find it pretty difficult to... you know) but it is unreliable for judging sexuality.

I have often wonderred how many of you guys out there in cyber space consider yourselves "bi curious" ie. Think you may be bi but haven't had either the oppurtunity/guts to experiment (I consider myself in this category by the way). I have also wondered whether people think it is more "acceptable to be female and bi rather than male and bi. My own theory is that women are exposed to pictures of beautiful women from pretty much birth and therefore grow up with this idea of beauty programmed into them. Men however are usually show in a purely functional way and are rarely shown (to a child or teenager) in a beautiful way. What do you think guys? Am I onto sometihng or just mad?

Heh. I'm bisexual - that's it. I, in contrast to Frog's ideas, however can't seem to carry on a romantic relationship with a man. It doesn't work, but I'll be damned if I couldn't have sex with one.

However, I often wonder if I am, as Law and Order: SVU so aptly put it, "Compulsively orgasmic" over bisexual.

Or something.

Female bisexuality is certainly very widely accepted in the mainstream media, but only because it makes it appear more likely that a woman would then be interested in a threesome with a male and another woman, which apparently is a very common male fantasy.

Whether female bisexuals actually have it any easier in real life than male bisexuals is a more difficult point. It might be harder for women in some respects purely because there is the myth that most women are actually bisexual, therefore a woman who comes out to straight friends may make the friends feel more uncomfortable than a male bisexual doing the same. There is the cultural implication that female friends may be expected to be more responsive to advances than male friends would be.

I really am tring to reply to your post of the 28th Mata, but sometimes I find it quite difficult to acuratly express in words what make sense in my head.

With regards to my quoted definition of a person who is bi-curious. This is the definition I have given the word, after having people who label themselves bicurious tell me that said definition is what being bi-curious is. And this is why I defined it that way.

What I take from your disagreement to my definition is that bicurious people's sexuality isn't a set thing, but a tool to understand their sexuality more, through experiance? -And therefore be able to take from an experiance and decide (or maybe not) what the degree of romance/ sexual desires towards, either or both genders is their individual preferance. And in this way bicuriousity is more of a transition, than a set for life definition of self defined bi-curious person. Or is it self defined? hmm.

I agree. Has long as that's what you ment, or I've totally lost track.

The bit about bi women having it easier than bi men. I don't know many bi men. From my experiacnce, being in a relationship with a bi woman. What really gets my goat is the attitude, and I might start rambling off topic, so apologies. What really gets my goat is the attitude that women in bed together have this custie, gental, sweet touching malarky. Sure I have, but I've also enjoyed quite rough, fetishised (is that a word?) sex too, and I liked it. I hate the attitude I've had to put up with that women can touch and please eachother, but this is ultimatly to please a man (what even when there is no man involved in the event, or relationship, HELLO!). I've had this from straight guys, bi guys and straight women. It's partonising to be told that lesbian sex is just a prelude to 'real' sex with a man, and that's what we really want at the end of the day. Yes, men and women have been built so that they can procreate, but also have fun too, but hello, fisting? I've found that a woman's hand can hit me better than a man's penis any day.

It's frustrating to feel that, and to a degree know that that's what people think when we walked down the street. I'm a slightly paranoid person too, so that probably doesn't help.

'K, I've rambled a bit, I know. But I hope what I've typed make more sense, and that I've cleared up what I ment from the post Mata quoted. erm. I was trying to read all the way through this thread, and I still am, so I guess I'll post in here again. Just might take me a while.

Yes, that was what I meant when posting about the nature of being 'bi-curious'.

I know some bi-men and bi-women (and it gets very confusing when they date each other I assure you!) they all seem to have the same stresses over partners as friends who are straight and friends who are gay.
Its more acceptance by society that causes extra stress, not sexuality.

I did the bi-curious thing when I wasyounger, kissed a few girls to see how I felt about it, and I can say that I agree about the kinsey scale thing, I still can and do see girls who look very attractive, but I'm more strongly attracted to men, and I can't see myself ever having a gay relationship, even if I can appreciate a pretty girl.

Way I see it, if no one gets hurt, whats all the fuss about?

I think that bi girls have it easier than bi men because girls are often much more open than boys and in my opinion much more understanding. I think perhaps everyone at some point ponders over the idea of being bi but some more seriously than others....