Obviously cybersex is different than real-life sexual intercourse for myriad reasons, but there's been a lot of debate as to whether it's considered real.

Some people say that because there's no true physical contact, it's not sex.

Others say it's not the physical aspect that's important, it's the emotional part that matters, and that should be the basis as to whether cybersex is sex or not.

Still others say that it's sex, regardless of the situational factors...

This topic has a billion routes to take, such as whether cybersex outside of marriage is cheating, if cybersex is really an addiction, what the benefits/ramifications of cybersex actually are. Debate away.

So what are you wearing?

I think it could be considered real sex, yeah. (And incredibly safe sex at that...ha ha ha ha ha...*cough*)

The state of mind it puts you in is like when it is physical...well, not the same, but you see what I mean...I hope...

Blimey, I'm not sure now...

*goes off to contemplate*

I nulled my vote, because "real" has so many meanings and levels.

If masturbating to pornography is sex, so is cybersex, I reckon.

I nulled my vote being as cyber sex can be a real turn on and I'd be extremely pissed if someone I was with was to go and have cyber sex with someone. And then on the other hand...its just talk. Its not real real sex.

Yeah, in the emotional sense, and not the physical. If you're going to go and have cybersex with someone, then it is cheating, because that's the intent. So... yes and no, so null vote.

null..

Like Commie said..."real" has so many differnt meaning and stuff...

Alright here's my take on this subject...and it may be splitting hairs.

We all know that sex is really in the mind, but, if masturbation is sex, then all guys aren't virgins after their first time, and neither are the girls, at some point in time we all masturbate before we have sex...

...so, if cybersex, of any form of tele-sex, such as phone, or porno...leads to masturbation,
But society doesn't consider masturbation sex in the pure sense... ambigous , eh? Becauswe are all still virgnins even if we "played" around with our bodies. Even though we might have fully viewed in our minds we were having sex with someone.

So, even though true emotions may have come into play when masturbation is done, society says it's not real sex, so cybersex, which at worse leads to masturbation, isn;t sex by wide acceptance of the definition.

So, no cybersex wouldn't also be considered cheating.

The mind makes it real. And there real emotions or gut feelings at the least. But it is the persons involved to follow thru in the real world to continue...then it's real , of course.

Oh, and I sleep in the nude...

can I get an amen for brother VVes..

wonderfully told...soo since my post wasn't very long...just consider my thinking along the same lines as his

BTW...I also sleep Nude

Well, I've suddenly had to ask myself what cybersex is .... If we are talking about something like phone-sex or whatever, like 2 (to keep it simple) people using the medium of words and keyboards, and/or microphones and web cams and stuff to get it aon, then hell yes, cyber sex is sex. It is the joining of minds to mutually achieve that flash-by fireworks of the mind and loins ... ostensibly with a helping hand involved .... The participants bond ... they join ... they DO IT. Never mind if they dont need to pass eachother tissues ... I mean in that scenario, it'd be difficult NOT to call it sex. And that puts it as a good contender for the cheating stakes ... Throw in some VR and some decent hydraulics, and you've got absolute definite irrefutable hanky panky. If 2 people are touching eachothers buttons, in physical contact or from 4000miles away, its sex.

'What? but i didnt touch her ...'


and who doesnt sleep in the nude?

I nulled, cybersex in of itself is not real. there is no physical contact. But it can also be real if there is enough emotion behind it. Its really depends on the situation and the people involved I guess.

... I sleep in the nude too...

i agree... your mind makes sex real, wether it be tele-sex, cyber sex, or intercourse...

physical contact makes it more real ,but if there is no emotional attachment, then its just bodys in bodys....

*giggles* i sleep nude, sumtimes with boishorts on tho *giggles*

I voted no.

I do believe the cyber sex is a form of sexual expression but not actual sex. It's a lot like flirting. In the end I can be telling a guy that I'm kissing his neck, but am I actually kissing his neck?

I do however consider it cheating. As a form of sexual expression and flirtation, I don't belive that if you truly are into a person that you are involved with that the flirting or cyber sex that may happen should happen.

I don't know that I explained that all too well, but oh well.

Oh and btw I sleep in the nude as well as long as I'm living on my own. So right now it's t-shirts and panties.

Well I nulled my vote about this.

After reading through the responses, I pretty much agree that cybering is an emotional high, and not physical. It can give you the same feeling of pleasure perhaps like sex, but all it is is masterbating or getting aroused really.

What point I noticed in all this is was \/\/es said about how we all lost our virginity after we masterbated the first time. I think the whole losing virginity thing involves usually two people and intercourse to make the virgin power be lost. Masterbating is a form of self pleasure, which is also another lower level of sex. It can help you make you more aware of what you like and don't like but really masterbation before losing your virginity i really more like a preparation if you will, to know yourself better.

As for thinking it real, tis true it can be believed as real. Some people have very good imaginations, I know I do. The more you think it real the more good it feels and the bigger the pleasuring high you get. Simple.

Now back to the point in question. Cybering is emotional. The thing is it can be a form of cheating if you are already spoken for. Like why both flirt and have cyber sex with someone when you have your love or lover already? It isn't right to do such things, but that of course is a matter of opinion.

Before you read on - my sincerest appologies for this being such a long post...



Soz - VVes - I'm not just picking on you, others also mention this point of your mind making sex real and I have to say I'm a bit confused with the reasoning here.

Sex isn't just in the mind is it? If you're talking about splitting hairs - then for terminology's sake - I thought that sexual intercourse also requires the male member is insertered into the female genitalia. Masturbation is where the male or female genitals are stimulated without there being intercourse penetration (though is does allow for penetration by other body parts or even foreign objects) and anal intercourse is not considered sexual intercourse but something very specific in it's own right; though each of these acts can lead to some form of sexual gratification, sexual intercourse isn't just about reaching an orgasm... so far this is all just down to terminology here.

Cybersex is a form of masturbation, whether your are masturbating yourself or



someone else is masturbating you via the hydraulics you're hooked up to...

I think that sex, masturbation, fantasising and watching / listening to anything pornographic are all very different physical and emotional actions that stimulate us in different ways. Having experienced sexual intercourse, been masturbated by someone else, and engaged in cyber sex I would have to say that they are all so very different experiences that they deserve to be treated separately, even if you can reach orgasm through these different approaches.

Although I enjoyed them all... each were very different; eg sex is so extrememely different to cyber sex where there's not physical contact with your partner though there can be much more exchange of emotional dialogue... now - I fully understand the whole issue of mental capacity and the way the mind interprets this, but our minds don't just deal with the imagining of the event, our minds also have to deal with the flood of senses that we experience when in these very different situations, so we are actually thinking differently when we have sex to when we type out our emotions or even observe pornography.

The mind treats the mental approach (issues such as love, lust and desire), as well as the physical (the sense of touch, taste, smell etc) and the bio-chemical (the endorphins and adrenaline that's released making us feel even more)... but it's not the same for each of these activities, you do different things and you experience different feelings and sensations that alter the way your mind is dealing with these actions... so no - cybersex isn't sex - it's CYBERSEX... and can be a lot of fun.

So by this rationale - masturbation doesn't lead to a lost of virginity, sexual intercourse does.

Cheating on your partner isn't just about having sex with someone else, as you've all mentioned so far - masturbation (and mutal masturbation) are also forms of experiencing sexual gratification, but cheating can also be down to kissing, or even an exchange of emotions without physical contact... just ask the person who has found their loved one holding hands with someone else.

Sleeping in the nude isn't really an option as I sleepwalk...

I guess upon reading you guys' responses, I would say it leans more towards real than just "in the mind". I mainly come to this conclusion because there are two (or more) people involved in cybersex, and they interact with one another, which makes it more than just masturbating. That's what I think anyway.

Am I the only kid around here who wears pajamas?

I guess ya are, sarah... cos I sleep in the nude too!

Reet then... if we're talkin clinical definitions, then cybersex isn't real sex, therefore it's not really real. It's more than masturbation with an active imagination, cos there's another person involved, but there's no penetration, ergo it's not real sex.

I agree that there's a level of intimacy that comes into play. There has to be, really... ya cross the line from simple e-flirtin into summat more sexual in context, an it's intention is arousal. I guess at that point, if ya were in the same room together, there's a better than average chance ya would go an have sex, so from that aspect, there's a definite realness.

But I'd still say no. I've never engagaed in actual sex where I hafta watch a monitor an type stuff occasionally, an frankly it's a fair bit off-puttin havin that kinda distraction!

I stick to e-flirtation, it's more fun...

No, cybersex is glorified masturbation. That doesn't mean it's not cheating, but it's not sex any more than having a wank to porn or something similar.

But do that many people do it? Should I be ashamed to be a cyber virgin?

I've opened a thread just for this question. I wanna know ...

Good job there, Pab... and I see the sleepwear question got moved elsewhere by Sarah as well! I'm so proud of the not-spamming...

I suppose I should have put some in-between option on the poll, but then I think everyone would have chosen it. I was looking to see who would decide their opinion was extreme enough one way or the other to vote at all...

Dude, it's so not real sex. It's spanking your monkey in front of a computer. Cyber sex is nothing like the real thing. It's like saying porn is like real sex. I've had both and cyber sex can't hold a candle to the real thing.

I don't consider it real... although... <<;

The reaction it causes i'm sure is real.

Just no fluids swapped.

I guess it's safer.....

*nulls vote*

Cyber is kinda a tricky subject cos it means your expressing sexual desire for someone, so if your partner cybers with someone else that can be as bad as any other way of betraying someone in a relationship. It can definately make you feel that bad anyway...

That said i dont think it can be considered "real" sex at least in the "count the legs and divide by 2" sense, because its all in the mind. Thats like saying that fantasising about having sex with someone is the same as actually having sex with them.

On the other hand, if your with someone in a physical relationship and you cant see tm for real so you wanna cyber, i guess that could be counted as real sex.

Who knows?