ok... i was planning on not telling anyone about this... keeping it a secret.... but i decided not to...

i have ran into a good deal of stress and shit just lately...

1) my parents threatened to kick me out. i cant believe it, i really cant. i know im a pain in the ass, i know im a smart ass, i know i talk back alot, but i never thought it was serious. theres a place inside of me that thinks that they wont do that, but the threats got more frequent just lately.

solution! i do exactly as they say, become a "nice, rule following child"... i feel like a slave... such a whore.... but if it gets them off my ass, im willing to do it.... things have been calm latey... things will be going back to normal sooner or later... or im being too optimistic... one or the other.....

2) im trying to deal with the stress of the really good chance im a loner this year in school. my two only really good friends arent going to be going to my school this year... one is going to some job-school thingy in another city, but his parents said he might not go because his behavior is better, the other is going to another school.... to be quite honest, ive been a loner most of my life, took me to 9th grade to make some real friends that would stick by me when i need them... the chances that i will make more like them this year? slim to freaking none...

solution? none available....

3) horrably HORRABLY depressed lately.... reasons = look above.


so basically, im just trying to deal with life, just trying to get by with whats left of my fragile mentle well being... i will start becoming a frequent here when my family problem is gone, or when i think its gone.

-- jon

*hugs* im really sorry to hear that.... like, im speachless, i dont know what to say, im really sorry....

o yah, and sence noe one usualy pays much attention to what i say most of the time, will you listen to a song for me? its called Heaven's Coming by Wakefield.. its amazing... but really sad... i dont know why, but when u told me that about what's happening, it reminded me of the song... *sighs**hugs* i hope things get better... i'll miss you if you leave

Ok, how old are you? If your getting on 16-18 getting kicked out might not be so bad. On the other hand, if you're younger than that it's probably best to lay low like you're doing. You'll have the ultimate revenge when you leave home and you can do whatever you want.

About the friends thing, I know the feeling. I can make friends ok but i find it hard to get on with things if my group of friends are all sick or away for some other reason (which has happened alot lately). Being a loner at school sucks, but you'll make friends soon enough, even if it's out of nessesity, it's human nature etc. Well, the depression is just part of being young and well... depressed. Try venting it on authority, worked wonders for me

Oh yeah, I doubt your parents would actually kick you out. Mine threatened until I explained that everything I am is a direct consequence of my upbringing, hence, by complaining about me they're admitting to being failures at parenting. Then I explained to them why they infact were failures at parenting and how I'd outgrown them and was already my own person, being smarter, stronger, taller and just damn prettier than both combined

My mum just looked at me and said "you know, you're right". And that was the end of that.



And that was a fairly pointless story. Sorry

you just gotta hang on in there.. i know how you feel. Me and my mum are constantly in fights and she often tells me to leave but hasnt yet done anything about it... and so i do what you said, but now i feel like im being taken advantage of because now my brother has joined in and they both make me feel like a slave, i have to do everything... luckily we have a cleaner so i nolonger have to clean the house but yea everything else i do... the best thing is to just grin and bear it, but thats such a bitch. Mum doesnt even recognise depression, she reckons im just attention seeking and tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself. It is better at the moment... i think thats only because i gave in and got a job which she made me do, and because im not stressed out because of college... then it gets bad because my brother really stirs things up. Things will get better you just have to remember that..., you wont always live with your parents.
As for being a loner, nothing wrong with that, im always the loner, i prefer being a lone then having to talk to most of the people i come in contact with. I just take a book or a my md to college for something to do in the break. You might make friends, i mean theres a chance your other might come back? or someone new has started. The more you worry the worse the situation can become, chin up theres nothing wrong with being a loner, they are always the most interesting i think.
And when i have found a cure for depression ill get back to you...

I know we dont know one another but if you ever wanted to talk just pm as it sounds like we have very similar situations

well im not the best person to give advice on the wole parents thing my dad threatened to kick me out and i packed my stuff and moved to my grandmas after 3 days he begged me to come beck... maybe you should try it?

That would be asking for trouble in my house when I was growing up. If I'd mentioned that to them they'd probably have kicked me out for being cheeky!

Making friends isn't easy and, when you've got them, keeping them isn't always easy. It's a fact of life unfortunately You will make friends but you will have to make the effort to be approachable and approach people yourself. I know it's hard because I've been there but I'm living proof that you can become better at making friends. Even when one of your so-called friends lets you down But that's another story

Hope things get better for you and remember we are all always hear to listen to you and dispen useless psuedo grown-up advice

Oh yes, but I've been carefully stretching the boundries over the years, slowly desensitising them to my wise cracks and general teenagery arrogance. Oh yes, all the subtle work has paid off (I was an evil, schemeing child )

Cheese I hope things get better for you. Give me a buzz or email or whatever if you need anything at all. I wish there was something I could do to help.

that's awful cheese i really hope things work out. we're all here if you need to vent or just want to talk

Well, it's not gonna be the same without ya, cheese ole buddy... I'll miss ya

These things need sortin out, so you take the time to get 'em sorted. We'll still be here when ya get back.

/me hugs the cheesemeister

Take care, buddy.

*hugs Cheese*

I know there isn't much I can do over the computer, but I'm here if you need me. And I really hope you don't get kicked out, but if you do...you could always live in my computer room (that may come off as a joke, but yeah, if you don't have anywhere else to go, PM me on a computer at the library or something and I'll give you my address. You hopefully won't need it, but I figured I'd make the offer just in case).

Anyway, if you ever need to vent about stuff, feel free to unload on me. I really hope things start looking up for ya soon.

I'm sorry Jon. *hugs* I wish I could do something to help. My advice? Become a drone and do whatever they ask. Unless they're asking you to do something, avoid them. As for school...well...find other loners and hang out with them.

Awwww *hugs Cheese*

Ya sometimes parents you can't make sense of what they want or why they say things....sometimes I dun get it myself. I certainly hope things will look up for you.

I'm here if ya need me....even though it aint much since its only online. I have missed our chats. Come back soon when things die down little brother *gives cheese another big hug*

*gets in line to give Cheese more hugs*

Sorry to hear you're havin' stressful times, hon. My parents never threatened to kick me out when I was in HS, but that's mostly because I was the "rule following whore" who never did anything to ever upset my mom (if I could help it)....then again, I absolutely ABHORRED my home life growing up as a result of it. Of course, my mother, realizing that I probably wasn't all that happy at home (although never actually knowing it as truth, never mind how MUCH I hated it), figured that keeping me there was a great form of punishment so I couldn't get the hell OUT of the house as much as I wanted to move to my dad's.... sorry, rambling story.

I was a loner in school until my senior year...not because my friends weren't around, but 'cuz I didn't have any friends until senior year (go figure)....but I didn't really enjoy that loner-ish thing either. At least you know you always have friends here that'll be there for you anytime you need 'em! *HUUUGS*

thanks for the support everyone, it means alot... my family problem is... pretty calm at this moment, and i think it just might be going away soon.... hey, can optimism help me? maybe... maybe...

well, today was my first day of school, and, to be quite honest, it wasnt as bad as i expected, although, still not too good.... could be worse, ya know?

1st period - i know someone in there... but since im dropping that class because i didnt take it, and i dont want it... it doesnt matter...

2nd period - i kinda know two people in here, acquaintances are better then nothing i s'pose. and the teacher is cool too, she hates the school rules, and hates making kids stand in front of the class and speak, should make for a good year... pretty funny too... but there is a downside, as with most things in my life... she hit on me within the first 20 min of class.... school teacher askes minor for beers at her house, more at 11.

3rd period - algebra two.... need i say more? well, i am... i dont know anyone in here... at all... except for the teacher, he was my algebra one teacher in 9th grade... and i hate him... he likes me and its not uncommon for him to compliment my ass during class.... <cringe>

lunch... hung out with some people i knew from junior high... its like junior high all over again....

4th period - art 1... i dont like to draw art... i like to look at it... damnit! why did i take art!?stupid stupid stupid me.... DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT!!! <cry> being alone in here doesnt help either.... and the teacher managed to confuse the entire class within the first 10 minutes... damn confusing teacher...

5th period - U.S. history... alone here as well.... and my teacher sucks donkey balls for cocaine money... ladeedadeeda.... let me explain, afterschool work (AFS) is one hour of detention afterschool, usually picking up trash or listening to horrable music from the 50-60s while you stare at the clock... well, this teacher, will give a student AFS for the following bull shit reasons... 1) getting up out of one's seat to throw trash away. 2) talking, even if one is helping another student with work. 3) coughing or sneezing too much, its a class disruption ya know.... oh, how i wish i could beat her face in with a golf club....

6th period - chemistry... soooooo boring... soooo stupid.... oh wait, should i be insulting the teacher like that? yes, yes i should... i fell asleep just listening to him... <yawn> not to mention that im alone in there.... sooo boring...

well... that was my first day of 11th grade... not too bad... not too good... guess ill make due with what i have... also, im so unstressed/not depressed after today... i didnt even mind having to break into my own house

thats all i have to report i guess, hoping that things pick up for me sooner or later....

I'm glad things are going better cheese.

Told you you're a sexy beast!

If you need any help in art, like understanding those complicated names let me know! I won't draw for you though. lol

not sure if this needs to be said in such a serious thread... but... my hair has been growing longer lately, because i havent had a hair cut in about 4-5 months... and no one has seen me in 3 months (vacation and all) and i ran into my oldest friend in life (he has the same lunch as me, i forgot to mention that, makes me so happy!) and he told me that it looks good on me and he thinks im cute.... weird... weird....

That sounds alot like me. You are cute. Send us a new picture of your long hair so we can comment

Hi, Cheese I'm glad that things seem to be a little bit better for you now.... I hope that things just continue to get better too!

Cheese well now im sitting here cring in studyhall and everyone is looking at me funny.. i cant stand that your life is going like that i wish i could do something to help... i really do.. i dont want you to be dperessed babe.... your to great of a person to feel sooo bad..... i wish i could get kicked outta my house then i wouldnt have to deal iwth the nazi parents... *grrrr* im kinda grounded so my only online time is like ... umm schoool... i hate school... I luv Yah so much jon..... feel better sweety e-mail me if you can.....

Two words: law suit

Well, that's not very good advice but you have grounds to have something done. Even if it's just a formal apology, which is always satisfying

Anyway, good luck