I imagine there's probably another thread around here that has this already, but I'm too lazy to dig it up. I just wanted to know, how many people who post here think about suicide and are actually serious about it?

There is indeed one here. Fuzzra.

Thanks Fuzzy! ::huggles helpful Mod::

I only think about it when I'm really really depressed...

I had thought about it once, but that was a dark dark time. I keep a much brighter outlook on life. When life gives you lemons blast those lemons to bit with your laser beams as my friend always says.

I can see why people would think it seems like an option but I thought about it and there is still so much more life to go, we choose our own paths, and I'll be damned if I let mines end too early for me to see the good stuff.

That and apple jolly ranchers . . . their to good for words.

*sighs* i think about it all the time... sumtimes when im just sitting alone, i'll look over and see something that I could use... its weird, i have so much access to things that can kill me, but i never get so cought up to kill myself.... i am serious about it, but when i think about how many more poeople i can hurt by killing myself, i just change my mind and result in harming myself... its easier and less painful for my friends and family, and i dont want to hurt them anymore then i have.... depression sucks

I know I still feel hurt when i see my friends scars. To me it makes me feel as if I'm a bad friend cause I wasn't there for that one moment.

I dunno I just don't like seeing my friends hurt

Nope. Never ever contemplated it, even durin some of the worst periods of me life. I always had a "Jus wait, I'll show 'em!" attitude as a teenager, which drove me along quite well.

Now, of course, I dun bother wi that at all. I'm havin a good time, generally, an I know I have too much to live for. I found there's more ways of dealin with crap than to sit an worry about it. Maybe it's cos I'm that much older now, I prefer not to dwell on stuff until it hits me hard in the face, then I try an work out a fix.

I didn't vote. Though I hardly ever think about it and have no intention of ever doing it, I used to, a lot. Being manic depressive (more manic than depressive these days...) it's sort of inevitable, really. Still, that was a few years ago and it's not something I want to go back to. After all, if I were to kill myself, when would I get the chance to prove my superiority to the rest of the world? Right? Right?

No way. I'm having too good a time to kill myself. Sure, there's some bad bits of life, but the good bits are just sooo good. I don't know, I have no problems with other people doing it, attention seeking or not, it's their bodies. But yes, it does hurt everyone close to them. But I mean, would you give up all the music, books, people, food, alcohol, message boards, sex, and fun in the world because you're feeling down? Some might but it's too much to give up for me.

mmmmm . . alcohol . . . .I mean uh. . . sex! Wait no . . . yes.

Sorry

Definately far more to live for than not in this short enough life.

on the bus, if i am by myself, i start imagining what would happen if i spontaneously dived out through the window, and caused all this commotion... but thats just imagination, i did go through a period of life where suicide was one of my definate options, but now i seem to have the same, built in resistance leo had ('just wait... il show em...')

buuuuuut yeah. well iv been finn the furry, and you have been a wonderful audience... g'night

Yeah. I've thought about it. More than I'd like to admit. And...once I tried. Only once. I have these really bad problems at home with my mother, and it happens so much. It seems so nice to be able to rest, to really truly rest. But I know I'm probably never going to go through with a suicide.

I never like talking about when I tried to kill myself. People who scream and shout about being depressed and wanting to die really irritate me, because there are some people with so much pain and they never talk about it, and then there are those people just looking for attention and sympathy, and I just don't like the latter. But since this thread is about suicide, I figure it's okay to discuss. One day I was so low, I really didn't think it would ever get better. So I counted out about twenty pills in the medicine cabinet, and I don't even know what they were. And I started putting them in my mouth, but I ended up spitting them out. If I died, people would just feel bad for that woman who bore me, and that would be awful. She doesn't deserve sympathy for her daughter's demise, when she's the one who spurs it. Gah. Too many issues for one thread.

as i have already said i contimpate it all the time, i have tried it many times *tho i am not proud of it* i dont speack about it often, only when i go and stand in te kitchen staring at the knives.. then i have to get on the net and talk to you people... no one at skewl knows... they have seen some of my burns but they dont ask.... the cuts from the knives are hidden on my ribcage so they cant see those either.... and like Sarah, i hate it when people brag about being suacidal... the poeple that truley comtoimplate it are the quiet one's. and sadly, i am quiet... *sighs* but the difference is i know i shouldnt do it... but sumtimes it just gets to much... and it seems to be the only way.... its lke i need a way oout..... sh*t im rambling... ok imma stop now.. no one needs to hear my pethedic story... ok im done

i have tried before...just once...a little while back...but i don't really talk about it...

I have only talked about it twice in my whole life. Once to a friend of mine who had been concerned about me, and on the forums just now.

i think about it. i think about it so much that i have the note written. id never do it, though. not untill i find something.

I personally would not do it, not now but in grade school I thought....grade 5-7 were the worst. Being picked on a lot made me start thinking about that. I thought about what it would be like to die...to make the ones that made me sufer have to burry their heads in grief, and what it would feel like to just end it all. Thank god things began to turn up fer me. Now I have someone who loves me, lots of dear friends, a good home and people who care for me. Why end it all for me now when things are balanced. Sure I have my bad days all that needs is a good cry to release the tension and to talk about it with someone, mainly my boyfriend. I am very sure that its something i won't think about for a while.

Used to consider trying. Did once a long time back. Decided it wasn't the best idea. Still want to sometimes, but won't.

thought about it? yes. was i serious? no. however i do have a weird obsession with thinking about suicide, even if i'm not serious. every time i do though, i think 'if jesus looked into my soul right now, just how disgusted would he be?' it gives me a laugh and makes me think about somethin else

i think abut it...and ive tried a couple of times...only once was really really serious and the other time i backed out when i realised what i was trying to do. realised isnt the smartest way to fix out my problems and theres too many people id hurt so i stopped trying but i still think about it a lot...

I already have a note wrighten up and ready to leave in my parents room...the time draws near...

Edward_lover, why would you want to kill yourself?

I often have casual thoughts about it. I'll just wake up one morning and think "What would it be like to commit suicide?". I've especially had thoughts about it a lot over the past few days.

*sighs* last night was bad... my note is writen... its under my pillow... um... i dont know what i should do.. im skerred and my body hurts.... and i still have one more bad thing to do todae... *sighs* im skerred

Please don't kill yourself. Everyone has something to live for.

i have bizarre thoughts... i have always imagined that life is like running up a giant steep treadmill, that keeps moving down really fast... everyones running to keep ahead of the rest, but others fall behind because they cant keep up or they arent good at it, and they need the help of the faster, stronger runners.

then at the bottom of the treadmill, there is just an endless black drop...
and people fall off it all the time... but nobody notices or cares because they are too busy trying to stop themselves from falling...

then all the slow runners, the weaker runners, the ones who cant do it, who cant keep up, are right up along the edge of this void... running hard, one by one dropping off, they need the help but cant get any...

and this is why i feel so sad sometimes...

great way of putting it... i feel the same.... *hugs furry* that was amazingly true

I am fasincated with suicide. Different reasons people suicide, etc.... I have this morid curiousity. I wrote a story once about a girl who was so tormented by questions of what happen after death that she killed herself. But anyway...

I tried once. It was unsuccessful, obviously. The world was crashing down on me... I tried to drown myself, luckily there's no lasting damage. I know how many people it would hurt... actually, I don't know, which is why I don't kill myself now.

That and my life's going great. I use music as a coping mechanism, now... ever since I saw Trans-Siberian Orchestra (metal group, does original songs and covers of classical pieces and Christmas tunes, composed mainly of members of the band Savatage) live, I've really known the power of music. It's likely I would be either slashing my wrists or dead by now had I not seen them that night. I'm crushed that I probably won't be able to see them again this year (a play I'm required to audition for opens the night they play here), but it's not as big of a deal... if I don't see them, my Christmas will suck, however, but that's okay.

Sometimes I'll think of what it would be like if I died, either by suiciding or just dying, how it would affect people. But that's just my curiosity.

*hugz* yeah, the worst thing is you see it happening every day all around you, and everyone seems to turn a blind eye. just gets me really depressed sometimes... *hugz*

Hmmm...I always dream of a fast and fiery car wreck, or walking up to a train...sometimes I just wish I would vanish in a wisp of vapor... it was more pronounced when I was younger, now I just deal ... I found people that actually cared about me...and I saw that I needed to respect my life first, and that allowing myself to be helped would help others as well...everyone is precious in this world to a great or lesser degree...

Hang on folks...we are all destined for greatness...

sometimes i think i can actualy hear them scream when they fall... its like walking on the edge of a cliff and falling forever...i see my friends handle everything so well, and i dont understand how they do it... its amazing that they cant see everything falling apart around them *sighs* its just weird

why? *cynical Laugh* why not? I have many many reason...But no time...I should have time tomrow...my mom's gonna have to work lol...but for now all I can say is...

life's a bitch and then you die...

Well, since I'm the one who posted this topic, I guess I should respond. I sort of owe it to all of you who had the guts to answer me in the first place. Here goes....

I voted that I think about it all the time. And I pretty much do. It's become both better and worse now that I've moved out of my house. On the up side, I'm not constantly around my mom and sister fighting. On the down side, I can't take my mom's car and drive to see friends anymore. And I'm so LONELY at college. I've never fit in, and I have no clue how to try. I met lots of cool people my first week, but after I originally met them I never saw them again. And to top it off, I have trouble reaching the three friends I have in the entire world. Jess has afternoon and night classes and I have morning classes, Kalina goes off with other people all the time, and has no car so she can never come visit on her own, and Brent is constantly downloading stuff from newsgroups so all I get when I call him is Callwave, and Callwave is ANYTHING but reliable. At times I just think that I'm totally alone in the world, so there's no point in sticking around. I'm afraid that some fine night I'm going to get depressed, be unable to reach Jess, Kalina, or Brent, and decide to actually do it. I wouldn't be all that hard for me, I have enough major migrane medication prescriptions stored in the cabinet in my dorm to make it quick. And it's a sopoforic, so if I timed it right I'd fall off to sleep first and just never wake up.

Feyliya, it's been my experience that the best way to fit in is not to fit in an act like you don't care about fitting in or not. This has aways drawn people to me, anyway. ::shrug::

I used to think about it alot when i went through my badly depressed phase, sometmes i still do when i get depressed.

Sometimes I have days when im not actively thinking bout killing myself but i just dont care wheather i live or die, i take stupid risks etc, I think i might do it just to see what would happen, but thats getting better recently.

As Dan says "I used to take risks all the time, do crazy things, not rlly care bout myself, but thats changed now, i cant die cos i have something to live for"

i dont like to say too much on this subject - as i get classed as a liar/attention seeker/ utter bitch. but i think everyone here will be ok with me. i do think about it a lot, just walking about and it hits me. porce is about the only person i can talk to about it .... but i do have a lot of stuff going on ( which probably seems like nothing much to anyone else, but to me its hell) . im usually pretty serious, but im too much of a coward to do it. plus i could never burden my friends or boyf with that. i couldnt do that to them. im not saying i think its wrong, just not the right time for me. sorry if i sound like i want attention, i dont. im just saying, if you know what i mean.

I don't often think about suicide, as I seem to have this inbuilt "must survive at all costs" mental thing. It's weird. If it weren't for the media, I don't think the notion would have crossed my mind.
Strange, non?

For five years of my life I wanted nothing more than to end my life. I was 10 years old, yes, I said 10. My homelife has never been good. My father and mother both abandoned me when I was young. I've spent my whole life with my grandparents. Grandparents or great, but it's just not the same thing as having your biological parents.

Because my mother(who was 16 when I was born) screwed up in life, (1)by having me, (2) by skipping school, and more, my life has been much more watched over. I've never been able to make any decisions for myself and I'm constantly told that things aren't good enough. I can do better. My life has always been scrutinized by who my friends are, what my grades are, and what I do with my free time. My gparents have never liked any of my friends. I've been forced into participating in activities I really never even want to. As a 4th grader, I spent a week in the hospital because of migraines and stomach cramps due to stress. My abuse has been more emotional than physical but that makes it no less painful.

I frequently wanted to end my life. I used to cut constantly. I have scars on my wrists and the backs on my ankles. I've tried to overdose on pills. But each time something told me to back off. Nothing I ever did was life threatening. Although I'm Wiccan, I will admit that I truly believe in God. I truly believe it was God telling me to hold out just a little longer. Because shortly after I turned 15 yrs old, I met my fiancee and my life changed drastically. I was happier and more confident. And then I was raped, in two separate incidents. This was two months into my relationship with my fiancee. One rape was an ex-boyfriend. The other was a gang rape. Liz, I don't think I ever told you about it, forgive me for that. I still haven't fully recovered from this. I still look out my window at night and see their faces peering in at me. Just last night, on the phone with my boyfriend I had an anxiety attack because I thought I saw them. But in a way it also made me stronger.

I am nothing like that person I was 7 years ago. I'm a person now, not just a shell. I do still think about suicide from time to time, but usually only when I'm pmsing, which is scary because it is obviously a frequent event. But my fiancee's always there to help me through it. We've made it through so much and he's made me the person I am today. I can truly say that if I had not met him I would probably not be sitting here typing this message to you today.
I want to give some advice. Don't kill yourself. Just hold on a little longer. It's just not your time yet. But when it is things will straighten out and life will be perfect. I promise.

i still think about suicide when im really depressed. i gone as far as taking a razor-blade up to my room, but that is as far as i've gone. for some reason when i come this close something inside me says "wait, tomorrow will be better". it never is though.

yep I have thought about it, kinda serious once or twice, but then i try to figure out a way to go and i get either flooded with ideas and can't decide, or its an odd way to die and i start to laugh. the laughter brightens up my life and im good for a week or two, this goes on until i really like the way my life is going and i go skiping merrily down the hall

I think about it. A lot. Hell, all the time.

This has actually started when I was 7 years old. My dad was... well... you know, again. I hated it, I hated everything, and plus my best friend at the time was over and every time she came over I had to endure insults about why couldn't I get as good grades as her? Play piano well as her? Be a perfect little frigging idiot like her? I wanted to take a knife and plunge it into my stomach so bad. I used to wake up at night and go to the kitchen and take out the knife and finger the blade. At age 7.

I struggled through four years of my life trying to forget about my thoughts, the pain inside. Then it started happening again. I remember the exact day my parents found out I was suicidal-- September 22nd, 2002. They thought me insane and a shame to the family and weak. Mentally weak. They refused to get me help (my dad being a psychologist too), added half an hour to the 1/4 hour of online I had every day, and said no more of it.

Recently I've been starting again. And by recently I mean around January of this year. Cutting and stuff. I stopped the cutting because it disrupted my typing, but whatever. I mostly think of negative thoughts, don't go to sleep at night (hence my posting this at 1:05 in the morning on a school night) and ... Whatever.

*sigh*

I think about suicide all the time. I don't think about it as much as i did but it still takes up a lot of my time. Should i? Shouldn't i?
Sometimes things are just unbearable an i don't want to go on, an SI doesn't help... i've tried suicide a few times but i've never gone the distance something always stops me and sometimes it just doesn't work.

I'm trying to stop and i've managed to throw my knife away which for me is a big step but there's still things that play in the back of my mind. I'm just trying to think that i've now moved away from my problems... i have a fresh start now, and many new friends who i've been honest with from the start... they still talk to me now and i love them... just as much as i love my friends that have helped me while i was going through the toughest times. I'm not going to pretend that i'm 'better' cause i'm not... i can never get far enough away from what i'm trying to get away from.

you cannot say that people that think about suicide are looking for attion, people that show off the fact that they are suicidal are, there is a big diffrenc between somone that sits in her bed room with a razor and crys because she just wants it to end, and somone that has a bottle of pills and walks into a crowded room and downs it. a very big diffrence. but where do i stand in this, well im the girl in her room with the razor, and ive never talked about this befor but in between 8 and 9 beers it doesnt seem like such a tough topic to write on. but alot of the time you just want all of this bull sh*t to jsut end, and it builds up on you and then all you can think about is weither or not tonight i can get up enouff nerve to jsut do it, and who i would want to say goodbye too and weither not i should hug my dad and tell him how much i love him befor i do it and how to make sure that no one can walk in while your doing it and wich would be the best way, is you jumped off the house it might not be tall enouff and you might not die, if you slit your wrists somone might walk in, if you shoot yourself somone will hear and might come and if you dont do it right you still might live, and how much your going to hurt your family because you wont be there for them to blame everything on and to pick up there sh*t after them, and then you go to your room and take out your razor and you sit there with it aginst your wrist and all you can do is stare at your wrist untill you start crying because you still cant do it, so you put it away and cry yourself to sleep and you wake up the next morning and all you can think about is why the hell you had to wake up just to go threw it all agin.

I think about it a lot. In fact I just always assume sooner or later I'm gonna do it. I thought skydiving to my death might be fun. You get to fly...sort of. W/o a parachute...all that crap on you..No. If you're gonna fly, ya gotta fly freee!Of course then you got the whole *splat* at the bottom... ....

I started getting depressed in the 6th grade...got worse the next year, after I moved. I cut my wrists some... some of the time for attention (as a way of saying "I need some freaking help here!!") and some when I got depression/anger...I like destruction when I'm angry...whn better to destroy thean your body? Life a little better the next year, the next and so on (I'm in 10th grade now). I still get depressed though. Pretty bad Feb '03 when my bf broke up with me (for cutting my wrists b/c I got jealous of his friendship with a girl...unfortuntely)...but it's cool now. *mumbles how much she hates being depressed* Sucks! It'd be so much easier if it was all just over. I've gotten so used to this sadness, I don't know if I'll ever really end it (my life). Depression sucks, but I get some hella good poetry out of it My poetry sucks when I'm happy. I'm a tortured artist. *sigh*

I even thought about it a lot as a kid...well really I thougt more about running away. I'm overly sensitive and the smallest thing can set me off. I think I may be bipolar (I haven't been diagnosed with it though, just depression - which I have pills for...whether they work or not). I can go from perfectly fine to ready to kill myself by a few little things going wrong.

I think about it when I'm depressed, which is quite often, and when I do I'm serious. I think there ought to be suicide booths in every city.

I think about doing it alot. Almost constantly. It's been less of an issue now that I'm on ads... I just think about it and don't want to do it any more.

*shrugs*

I have thought about it quite a few times, rarely seriously. I have written a running away note already though.

ive been thinking about it alot lately, i was in hospitle last week because i took some tablets not enuough to kill myself but i blacked out...i dont know what stoped me from taking a leathal dose. i got some antidepressants but ive been thinking about it more since i got them. it feels like im going crazy sometimes its stops me sleeping and its like these thought are going into my head and i cant do anything about it.

It seems that so many people have actually thought about suicide.. do you thinkt hat everyone is really like this?... I don't think that any of my friends have...

I think I was born depressed. I have been dealing with the idea that life is meaningless and empty since I can remember. It seems that pain, punctuated with the briefest of happy moments was all I had, and all I could ever look forward to. And those few happy moments were stolen moments, when I was able to briefly shut out the world. Fear, anger, and depression were all I had, and, although my life is better, now, I still envy my brother, who died when I was a teenager. They say he felt no pain, at the end, it was so quick...

Still, Suicide feels like cheating, to me. Life may be miserable, like a tunnel with no light at the end... but I'm here for the long haul. Not a cheery thought, I'm afraid, and I can't hold out any hope for any of you, when I don't feel it, myself...
But, I'm determined not to let the b*stards win. They want me out, they're gonna have to take me out... I'm not about to help them...

well, there are a lot of Teens on this board, and that is a tumultuous time in our lives... many teens think about it, but most grow out of it, should they survive. Some never do, though...

I haven't thought about suicide since I moved out to Seattle. I'm away from everything that depressed me and I'm much much happier. My suggestion to all of you would be when you're of an age to move away, think of the one place in the world that you would like to be, get some contacts there, and move. Don't listen to your parental units about staying home for college, find a place where you think you'll be happy and where you can have a fresh start and go. Submit an application to a college there, look for roommates there, submit job applications there, and hopefully you'll get something. But don't just up and go, make sure you'll have something when you get there. Running away from the problem won't make it better, make sure you're running towards something instead. If you're lucky, your parent/s will see that you need to go and help you do so.