I was wondering everyone's opinion on how old is the right age to start dating. I'm 13 and a lot of my friends (including me at times) have a tendency to have heart attacks over boyfriends and the like. And a lot of times parents have age restrictions.... some considered fair, others not.

And what could be the right age to start, you know... umm.. "it"? Personally, I think you should wait till marriage in case something happens.

by "it" i'm guessing you mean Bedroom Olympics...aah...the 100 metre dash..anyway

i think the english age of 16 is reasonable...though there could do with being a little more awareness and acceptance of it...we're still a little too...conservative about some things

....course people will take it too extremes, my mate was offered head by a 14 year old for a fag....he was 15 at the time

I really think it depends on the person. I definitely wasn't ready to date at 13. And switching schools 2x (in 5th and 7th, at the begining of the year) to a place where people didn't accept me didn't help at all. But I'm sure there are tons more people that are ready to start. I still think sex & psuedo-sex are weird that early.

Well...I think both things really depend on the person. Some people may be ready to date when they're 16, and some may still not be mature enough for it when they're 40 (example: my uncle Curtis. He's really NOT mature enough for dating. He does it anyway though).

I think with sex it's definitely best to be sure that you're completely ready. Not only for the emotional stuff, but for any consequences that may come of it. And for goodness sake...if you aren't mature enough to protect yourself, then you aren't mature enough to have sex.

I personally do not believe in waiting for marriage. I'd rather test out the equipment first. I think living together before you get married is ideal. If you discover that you can't live together, it's a lot cheaper just to move out rather than go through a divorce (not to mention what the wedding would have cost you). Well, living together can lead to complications as well when you end up arguing over what belongs to you and what belongs to him, and who gets to keep the stuff that you got together...but in the long run it's still a lot more practical.

Whenever you think you're ready and in love enough.

That's it. Period. I'm not even going to go into my whole ageism rant again...

I would say if you're too immature to say the word sex you aren't ready to have sex.
And I don't find anything wrong with dating when you're thirteen as long as you can keep your head on straight and not do anything stupid. You should also find someone at your maturity level.. you know someone who can't say sex either. Actually someone who couldn't even type the word sex. You're 13? Good luck finding a guy who can't do that.

Hehe. VERY good point there.

I'm 13 too, but I prefer to think of myself different and holding a slightly higher maturity than the average "ditzy, angsty" teenager. I usually stray away from those petty stereotypes.

Well, my little brother had a girlfriend at age 8 or 9, but, at 17, I am still boyfriend-less. This is probably due to the whole gay thing (and the utterly repressive school that I am at), but in general I would think that many people start quite young.
As for sex, I was reading an article in the newspaper about the age of consent the other day. The UK age of consent is 16, which I think is unrealistically high, but elsewhere the age is 13 (this is for peer sex - that is people aged 13-16 can have sex with each other, but not with anyone older than 16 until they reach the age of 16). This has been implemented in the Netherlands (no surprises there) and Portugal, and I think this is much more sensible. 13 is really the lowest limit in my opinion.

hm.... i agree with JaJay... if you can not be "old" enough to say the word sex then u arent ready. The hole "age to start dating thing" depends on your maturity. if you are reeady for a gurl/boy frend u will know. I personaly think that 15 is old enough to start dating and as for the "it" time, i believe it is nice to wait until marriage, but if it happens, it happens...

I think 16 is a good age to start both if your matur enough. if your not that mature 16 is good for dating but wait till your like 18 till you have sex, I mean atleast finish high school so if something does happen you can support the kid somehow.

that happened all the time at my old high school

i think if one is capable of making a concious desicion, without friends or media's influence, i say one is capable... this isnt always true, but it should serve as a good base...

if one is smart enough to know what sex means, and what responsiblities it holds, and what it can do to friendships, and lives of those you care about, as well as your own, then i would consider one ready...

I think it really depends on the person. I had my first girlfriend at fifteen and I lost my virginity on my eighteenth birthday (let us not incluse the sexual experimentation and exploration before that). I figure it's up to the person to determine when he or she is really ready. My brother Rick lost it when he was sixteen and my brother Tim lost it when he was fourteen or fifteen. I think Rick was ready, but I don't know about Tim. That's only my opinion, though. I don't know how I'll feel in five, ten or fifteen years or when my little sister starts dating or when I have kids of my own. I do, however, think that if you're gonna have sex, you should use contraceptives, especially if you're a teenager. I do think it's kind of tragic when middle schoolers are having sex. I mean, for God's sake, middle schoolers. I live in a little sh*t town where all there is to do was get drunk, do drugs and have sex and when middle schoolers get into it, it makes me want to vomit or cry because my little sister's growing up in this town. Okay, enough ranting for me on said subject.

I think everyone has good ideas about when's the right time for dating and sex. I guess I'm just agreeing with them and putting it in my own words:

The best time to start dating is when you find someone who you can share things with that you wouldn't normally share with anyone but your closest friends. Dating doesn't have to be uber-serious from the get-go, and I think that's one of the problems people have these days...especially the younger people. They seem to be separated into two schools (with, of course, some in the gray areas, but it doesn't seem like very many): Those who treat relationships and sex like some kind of toy, and those who treat relationships and sex like the be-all and end-all of existence. The former flit from relationship to relationship, lose their virginity at a very young age, and seem to be proud of it. The latter seem to feel that each relationship should be "the One" and treat sex like a landmine.

Honestly, I feel that those in the middle ground are probably the best off. When you're young, your chances of finding "The One" in a relationship is slim to none. The best thing I think you could do is just find someone to be really good friends with, who also makes you feel warm and fuzzy and special...enjoy that and don't worry about making long-range plans.

In regards to sex....you seem to be wonderfully still mostly innocent when it comes to that, and I think that's GREAT!!! It's sooooo nice to see that there are still members of today's youth who've retained some of that innocence... I think the previous advice is best: wait until you know enough about it and are comfortable enough with it...get honest knowledge of it through talking with parents, counselors, reading articles (the REAL kind, not porn stories! )...know as much as you can before you decide if you want to. And make sure that when you do, it's with no preconceived notions of what it's supposed to mean or what's supposed to happen...and that it's with someone who cares about you deeply.

*takes the Mommy hat off*

It depends. You can go out and pork someone, and a good time is had by all.

Until the baby comes.

You don't understand that the age of consent is enforced so that children do not need to worry about a baby and being a parent on top of everything else.

Is no-one going to respect the law then?

Well Polos, I'm not going to obey the law. First off, this is a topic I *NEVER* gave any thought to until I began dating someone much younger then me. You know what? While normally I'm REALLY sensitive and prone to people younger then me (and by that I mean being able to instantly tell the differences in age) I've never noticed an age difference or anything between him and I. I guess everything else just blinds that. So dating, who cares. Its dating. Whenever the kids feel they are ready do it. It's mostly harmless.

But as far as sex.....that's really a maturity issue and should be taken case to case. In my situation, while I honestly do not mind his age (I rarely even think about it) I hold myself back sexually because.....I don't want to go to jail, honestly

Slightly off topic, to prove a point about "laws"

In the state of Georgia, it's against the state law to have Sodomy or Oral Sex.

...read that again...regardless of age, orientation, religion, ethnicity or marital satus...

yes even married heterosexual couples can not have oral sex...they go to jail...




...Now let's talk about the wisdom behind these laws again???

it's all on if you are ready or not. i "dated" at a very young age (14) but i wasn't ready yet, i regret getting in to that relationship to this day. i wasn't ready yet and it was absolutly my biggest mistake. if you feel that you are truly ready go for it, it all depends on the person.

No, it isn't. Supreme Court decisions supercede state laws, and they ruled not too long ago that sodomy is not illegal (sodomy includes both anal and oral sex, btw).

So, married and unmarried couples, heterosexual and homosexual alike, are all free to engage in those activities.

As far as age of consent laws...hmph. No one I knew in school paid any mind to them. Handing out free condoms and educating kids about birth control would be far more beneficial, in my opinion.

I'll be 16 next month, and I've had five boyfriends. I don't want to have sex before I am 16. Unless I find a guy who I feel is...the "right" one to have my virginity, I'll be at least 18 when I lose it. I feelt 16 was an okay age w/o it being too incredibly young. For dating: I had my first BF in 6th grade, but it wasn't much of a relationship, not for lacking of making out, but because I didn't really like him; I just wanted a BF. It wasn't the same at all, so I ended it. My first "real" BF was in 9th grade. I think about 6th grade is okay to start having a bf/gf.

VVes: that law is in effect in Iowa, too. Actually...in Iowa, anything other than the missionary position is effectively illegal.

Cand: I'm not sure about that...I know Supreme Court rulings can override state laws but sometimes a Supreme Court ruling only affects the laws in a single state. As far as I and my friends know from talking to the cops around here (we have Ped-cops who roam the PedMall and talk to people...sometimes they're even nice!) "sodomy" and all its correlated forms of intercourse are still illegal in Iowa.


I could be wrong, as not even the cops know everything...

No, I'm pretty certain it applied to all states.

It'd be pretty pointless to say that sodomy is not illegal only in one state...but that the law is still fine and dandy anywhere else, wouldn't it?

Of course, but then that would imply that our Supreme Court (or our Government in general) is sensible, thoughtful, and non-hypocritical....which unfortunately they keep proving to be false....

(honest, I'm not dissing you at all, just the government. I don't like them.) I don't really trust anything that the Supreme Court rules to be logical or even legal after their appointment of Bush to the presidency.

lmao....well, that's true.

But I remember there was a bunch of backlash in pretty much all of the Southern states..and of course this big clamor to "define marriage" as a union between a man and a woman. So I'm still fairly certain that the decision applies to all states. I'm gonna go look it up though, and edit this when I find out whether I'm right/wrong.

*EDIT* Okey dokey, I was right.



You know what's weird is Iowa isn't even listed there..meaning it was NEVER illegal in Iowa. Your Ped-Cops have been misinformed, it would seem.