Not sure if there's a topic about this already, but there is one about Internet ones but that's not exactly the same.

Do you think that long-distance relationships can work out, and why [not]?

Personally I'm not sure. I might not be able to make enough effort to make mine work. We live about 30 miles away from each other and to drive it's about 40 minutes. We don't go to the same school, and we only see each other about once a week at Chinese school. We talk on the phone pretty much every day but long distance on our phone costs a pretty penny after a while. ; Would it work out? =\

Long distance relationships are hard. They can work if you have enough trust in the person that you are involved with. If that trust is not there, or if that trust is broken it makes it even harder to make things work. I for one am not up for making long distance relationships work, I just don't have the stamina for them anymore so I don't do them. But yes if you have the trust and love the person enough there are ways to make it work. Best of luck to you.

long distance/internet/ any relationships suck. im never having one ever again ever ever ever ever ever ever.

Well, I met my husband through an Internet relationship.

We "dated" online for 8 months. It was really hard, but I think if you care about the person enough..it can work out. Provided that one of you is willing/able to move to be with the other. If not..then it's rather iffy.

Sadly, I've seen more long-distance relationships break up than I've seen succeed. I can only think of two other successes aside from my own off the top of my head.

It is definitely hard. But if it works out, it's worth it in the end. And if it doesn't...well, at least you won't always wonder "what if."

One problem with long distance relationships is that it gives a *false*idea of what the relationship is about ... cos its a situation that is presumably temporary, so when you get to live together it becomes a big and difficult change .. Did I explain myself well enough there?

Yeah, Pab...I understand what you mean.

However, moving in with someone is always a big change...and there's always the possibility that it'll be difficult (which is why I strongly advocate living together before marriage).

Maybe my relationship was unique...but I didn't have any trouble adjusting to being in person with the hubby as opposed to just talking on the phone and such.

long distance relationships are hard, they never last for me, sadly. sometimes im glad they didnt, but others i wish they did. They are the best at times, but the worst at others... u have all the emotional connections, and everything that matters on the inside.. but the physical stuff isnt there. Sum people will say that physical doesnt matter but it does. u need to be held sumtimes, but if its long distance, they cant always be there when u need them to hld u and comfort you... and its hard. When they are god, they are great, when they are bad, they are horrible. ITs just the way it is. But for me, the long distance relationships hurt the most... because u have this deep connection from talking to the person more then u see them, its kills you.... *sigh*

i shouldnt much worry about long distance relationships...i cant even start any kind of one!

as for long distance...from what ive heard they sometimes work, sometimes dont.
id say ihnternet relationships (assuming that theya re not lying) are the best b/c you love the person not based on physical characteristics, but by the personality you see in them

Well speaking as a person in a long distance relationship...

It is definitely the truth when you need a lot of trust, and it also requires patience. Some people are not up to long distance relationships and that is ok. Sometimes though you will talk to people who are complete knobs about it all. My advice is just to ignore them.

I have been in this relationship for a year since october 22nd, we've got together (as in person to person) in march, may, august and october of this year. Yes it is hard but you gotta have the willpower to do it, and what better way to get that willpower than through the love you give and receive.

For people who have not tried it and are considering it, think about first what YOU want. Only you know yourself better than anyone, so check within yourself to see if you can be open minded. Now if you get in one and it gets serious, then best bet is through an easy paced transition, begin to talk about getting together and so fourth. It may sound foolish but words like this need to be said more offen.

Finally, as a golden rule: Don't just speed through the relationship right away. You won't feel the same or they won't feel the same and it could crumble...I have been in that situation before Jonathan so I can relate. He said I love you and I only said it because i didnt know what else to say...there wasnt enough motion I'm guessing.

Anyway nuff ramblin, onward!

all relationships suck. people only let you down or arnt there for you when you need them or just f**k you around, or dont listen to you or lie to you. its pointless.

wat is the point.

I respect your point of view on the matter, however just because you had a hard time with that does not mean ALL relationships like that are bad.

are for me, .

So....do you think the relationship I spoke of is bad? that there is no love?

It is a shame some people think that way, and that you are one of them. Tis not an insult but only what I see.

Good luck with the negativity in your life, you will need it miss.

Well I've never seen any different. Usually i do beleive in things without proof but love is jsut one of those things i dont beleive in and wont until i see it. i beleive that some people want to be cared for and find a person who will care for them and will be cared for in return but i dont even see that very often.

No jibe at you or anyone else who beleives in love or beleives they have found it but i jsut dont think it exists.

Well that is good, it was just how you worded things that it made me think you were implying to other relationships that ARE worthy.

Cheers.

yeah alot of people seem to take my wording to things the wrong way.....

Well speaking from expirience long distance relationships suck. 30 miles isn't that bad.. mine was 2000 miles which is a bit of a difference. I've found that they hurt like hell because you really can't come in contact with the person and the more you love then the more it hurts. I can't judge from your sitiuation. I'd say you havea better chance of it lasting then I did. if it feels right go with it

Mat and I live roughly 40 miles away from each and it really isn't that big a deal. Ok, so we only see each other of a weekend and sometimes during the week when he has to work in Birmingham, but we've managed it for two years so far and we're strong. There are, of course, times when it sucks but you get over those. the point is, we love each other and 40 miles is nothing. For a while last year, we were more than 2000 miles away from each other. Now THAT sucked. Pixiegoth and MR Pixiegoth are in the same position and I think she'll prolly agree with some of what I've said.

Well, I guess my point is that if two people love each other enough, a little traveling is no real hardship.

Well, of course 2000 miles is much more, but considering we're still in the point of our lives that it makes a difference... I think either way it's pretty hard... x_X; I dunno. I've never really had one that worked =\

Long story short: been there,done that,was in love,didnt work.he was in Great Yarmouth,I was in Cambridge.eventually it drives you nuts not being able to see each other everyday,we became miserable,after 5months we called it a day.But good luck to anyone who's in one,if you think its worth fighting for,go for it.

WeeJ is right. Me and...er...Mr Pixiegoth (a.k.a. Ed! ) as she puts it are in a long distance relationship. I'm not sure of the mileage but it takes just over a hour on a good day or just under two when the traffic is bad

Personally trust is a BIG issue and we have had our problems but I love him, he loves me and we make it work. Period.

Of course it sucks that I only get to see him at weekends but I am looking forward to the day when we can be together more often. It also teaches me to be more independent and patient. I used to spend 24/7 with my previous boyfriend work permitting! It was too much but I didn't realise it at the time.

Being apart from Ed makes me love him all the more and it's so much fun looking forward to the time I do spend with him

It's not easy but it IS worth it!

blah...*shudder* i dont think i can do longdistance...id miss my partner way too much.

that said though - i see my boyfriend every single day, from 4pm when he gets out of college til 11pm when hes walked me home...and i stay at his house on the weekends and only part from him to go to work for a few hours each day. sometimes i think wed benefit from some time apart

*shrugs* i dont know...i guess it depends on the person/people

I have to say it's not easy and if you have no reason to be apart then why should you be. I understand if you need time and space and stuff but if you are both happy with the time you spend together then so be it. You'll only be miserable and missing each other and what's the point in that

You could always try it and see.

Take up a different hobby or something, spend some time with friends that aren't mutual. Do something that's 'for you'?

Good for you

as of veterans day (tge 11th, which coincidentally is national plaid day) krys and i, at least this is what i gathered, im still _REALLY_ new tohaving someone pay attention to me, let alone love me, are offifcially a couple. i love krys with all my body mind and soul and hope that whatever happens between us, good or ill, she remains happy about her and my descisions and that we can be together forever. i love krys...and i think its safe to say that she loves me, and nothing can hange that, nothing can interfere with our love.

what this has to do with long distance...well i live in massachusettes on the east coast...she lives in San Diego, CA on the west coast...thats over an eigth of the world apart we are, and if i had my way id be there in a heartbeat.

/me sings mountain to krys

i love you, krys.

well it's working wonderful for aries and i.. i'm madly in love with him. we talk everynight, webcam, whatever.. all that good stuff. we'll meet eachother.. all this online and phone crap will all pay off in the end when we meet.. and then it wont even be the end. it'll be the new beginning.

Thanks *blush*

It really was very, very, VERY hard in the beginning The relationship had a lot of 'creases' shall we say that needed 'ironing out'. It's the hardest but absolutely the best relationship I've ever had. Someone once said to me that you need to grow, learn, develop with each other in a relationship and, until I met and started to see Ed, I didn't really understand what that meant. I thought I did but I didn't. That doesn't mean to say that only long distance relationships do this. Just mine with Ed Even if we don't make it (which is unlikely but you never know with these things) I've learnt so much and developed so much that I'd never look back with any regrets.

I Ed!

40 minutes is not a long distance relationship.

And as to the phone costs, try a cell phone (free nights and weekends, 1000 mobile to mobile...).
You can even look into a family plan where the second phone is $20 and you get additional "family minutes".

Well, I'd say that it can be a long distance relationship if you can rarely get to see the other person. Likewise, a relationship based in, for example, London and Geneva could work as a short distance one if you happen to have a private jet...

My fella is still in Greece and is planning on joining me in a few weeks time. If I knew he was not coming to the Uk to live (we lived together in Greece also) I certainly would not beable to substane a relastionship over such a distance as I hate using the fone!

I believe long distance relastionships are extremely difficult to keep but not impossible. It depends on the amount of commitment and trust that each party put in.

awww elf i know exactly how you feel, my now ex lived 40 miles away, and i only ever saw him at weekends...not even every weekend though. trouble was, although with some people that would have created a deeper bond....it did, but it was like we couldn't just enjoy being together, we had to cram a lot of stuff in, and it stopped being so much fun. the summer hols were the best days of my life, but...you've got to be happy when you're apart. if you're always upset or he is...it might be better to try and then call it a day...i don't know, i'm a crap person to give this kinda advice right now, so i don't know why i bothered really. it just rang a bell with me, i know what you're going through. i do hope whatever happens it either goes ok and/or you're happy though *hugs*

As cruel as it may sound I am not too bothered that he is not here right now. We have been living together for 3 years and I`m the kinda gal who likes a breather now and again and enjoy having ME time!

only been without him for a week though!

Long distance relationships have never really worked for me. However, my good good friend is still with her boyfriend of nearly a year now and they see eachother like once a month at most. In my opinion the answer to the question of 'whether or not long distance relationships work' really depends on what the two people in teh relationship are like, how they interact, and what their relationship is like. For example long distance relationships generally don't work for me because I'm a very physical person in teh sense that I need my sig. other to actually be there for me to hug, kiss, cuddle with, whatever. Whereas, other people feel just as content in a relationship so long as they actually get to talk to the person. but yeah... i'll stop babbling now, I hope this made some sense at least.