Alright, ever since I was about twelve or so, I've had a sort of problem. Whenever things are happy and good, I think morbid thoughts. Bad things, like people dying. Sometimes at Christmas, when everything's so cheerful, I can just imagine a bomb going off at the mall or someone shooting somebody, etc etc. It's just general times when everything around me is peachy; when I'm getting along with my parents, I think of my mom getting hurt. When my cat is behaving, of him being hit by a car...It's so terrible, I feel like a terrible person. I don't want these things to happen, but the fact that I think them at all are appalling to me. Does anyone else go through this? Am I just one twisted little f*ck? I have never discussed this before, but I trust your opinions and I also believe that you have accepted me into this community so well (I hope) that your views of me will not change.

Someone answer. Anyone at all.

in all honesty I do the same thing... and it kinda scares me... and then when things in my life get worse so do the things i think about... so I'm always thinking morbid things... anyway... yeah... I'm just gonna go now....

it sounds like your afraid of the future you get these nice happy perfect moments and instead of embracing them fully you get worried and think that they will end and you think of the worst possible thing that could happen.

my suggestion is just to calm down take a deep breath next time some evil thought takes your mind balance it out but thinking what it would be like if you hasd a million dollars or a shiney new kitten

I sometimes have that problem, but in a different way. When things are going too well, I suspect a massive f**kup coming along. Thereby keeping me from enjoying it too well.

I feel that it may be because you may not be used to things being happy all the time and you feel safer in depresion. You may think that anytime something good happens, you're set up for a downfall, so your mind bings you down before you get too high. I sometimes think of violent things like that, usually having to do with making bombs, Molentolv cocktails or napalm and using them on people. I've learned to ignore them and not let them get me down. It takes a lot of mental discipline and a lot of time but eventually, it leads to happier, healthier thoughts.

and how much napalm did you make before you gained this controll

I dunno. I always used it right after I made it. I never had enough money to make a bomb and, strangely, I never really had any motivation to make any Molentolvs.

but the napalm was easily motivated

who were the poor b@st@rds that suffered your wrath?

oh and please inform me in the future if i'm angering you at all

Don't be afraid to be morbid, its often funny.

true black commedy is my favorite

I never used it on anyone. I just burned stuff with it. Once we spread it on a kicker and lit it ablaze and ramped off of it.

im afraid of things being to good.. like when my life is going right, me and my dad are getting alone, and im happy, i do something diliberatly to f*ck it up becuase im scared of having that perfect moment, and losing it.. if i feel i am falling in love, i run away....

most of the time i have morbid thoughts of my frends getting in awful car accident, or burning in a fire...just stuff where they die... and i think its becasue im afraid of getting close to a person.. and losing them, so the morbid thoughts keep me from getting to close.... i think

Oh I have done that before sometimes, but its more so happens when I am walking home or to school and im bored. Really though it can make yu think bout all the great stuff you have in your life and it sometimes makes me feel better...other times I just wish I would not happen.

Example...the cat I have had since I was 6 is now missing. We dunno where he went or how he left or anything but ya...it was one of the thoughts i hope would never happen like this... never had the others do that as of yet....hopefully im not jinxing myself there.

I would help you babes but I cant even help myself...I have those thoughts and worse sometimes...i most of the time think of death....

now just speaking from my own way of life...
I'm scared to be happy...it's unformilar (sp?) to me so it frightens me...I like being sad I guess...I've always been sad and I feel weird when I'm happy and it makes me depressed again lol..
I'm not saying your the same way or anything...I'm just saying that this is how I am and I dont know if it'll help or not...but hey it was worth the try...










that was probley no help what so ever...sorry

i do that... mainly cos i feel guilty about having fun when there are so many people suffering in the world... also, if i sabotage myself first, it saves me from hurting other people through my enexplainable, psycho actions.... i can get quite destructive towards others if im in a cra*py enough mood... its kinda a safety mechanism when i think those thoughts....

hope this helps (which it clearly didn't, hence my apologies)

*APOLOGIES*

Fal xXx

so i shouldnt fear napalm death at your hands

Were u one of those deprived children who never saw Mary Poppins,Pete's Dragon or Bedknobs and broomsticks?

Most poeple who posted here need pyschological help. You don't need other people promoting this type of thought/behavior. It is not cool, fun or interesting to be this way. It is extremely unhealthy.

Hmm...

i can see why you where banned

You're not horrible for having those thoughts...it's not like you want that stuff to happen. It's when you daydream about people dying/killing people and *liking* it when you have to think about it and perhaps worry But even then, there's a difference between doing and imagining...lucky for me.

If you have depression and you feel unhappy, you need to work it out. Not necessarily therapist help, but do something...anything..to make yourself feel better. Cookie dough is a great starter. And think how you look to others, the typical whiney teenager personality comes to poeples minds when they see that sort of thing (dont kmow your age, is it an incorrect inference?). You can't live unhappily, or you haven't lived your life. Could be your music you listen to, try something a bit upbeat, may I suggest Blue Man Group as a greta ecclectic musical choice? Also, stop welcoming sadness. People who feel sad often welcome it. Stop doing that.

I didn't want promotion of it, as it seriously bothers me (hence being an 'issue", in the Issues Forum). I just wanted to know if I was alone in doing this. By the way, stop making new usernames.

I actually agree, but be soft

If you still have a religion, become involved in that. Also, take a few friends, 1 or 2 perhaps, and just get some pizza and ice cream. A real upper.

lets face it, everyone has at some time or another, a cynical morbid thought, or wish, or desire. and if you enjoyed it, so what? let the chips fall where they may.

and if you became an axe murderer, well at least you arent on reality tv. theres always some hope

I have morbid thoughts on occasion. People tell me i have nothing to worry about....yet i still worry and have dark thoughts. I don't want the things i think about to happen; rather i worry about them happening.

I think such thoughts frequent the minds of people who have just started to realize how fragile life is...and how eaily things can go wrong.

I do not think that the way you think is unusual sarah.

...No.

It sounds like getting a song stuck in your head.. it's like you're irritating yourself on purpose. It's a hard thing to get out of. Your best bet I think would be to simply concerntrate your thoughts on something else. Try happy memories!

If all else fails, perhaps I councilor or a psychologist or something. I'm not saying you're a wacko, but I'm sure they'd be able to offer some helpful advice.

It happens to me all of the time. Like, I'll be bathing my nephew, and I'll have this vision of cold hands holding him under the water, and other thoughts of child abuse. I just try to leave the situation I am in or think happy thoughts and hope that they are not invaded by the morbid part of myself.