I just had a conversation with an acquaintance of mine, in which he told me that he was trying to help me get out of my depression and conformity. He then called me a useless whore, a stupid thick skulled twat and said that the only thing I was good for (and this is a direct quote) was being raped with a knife.

This just makes me feel so good about myself. Some of you know just how great my self-esteem already is. This really helps, too.

And I'd feel so much better about it if this guy wasn't my best friend's closest friend, and if my best friend hadn't told me that he liked this guy more than he likes me, and if my best friend (the first actual friend I've ever had, by the way) wasn't constantly yelling at me because of my low self-esteem.

The thing is, I don't hate either of them. I can't help but think that they're probably right, and I'm a conformist and a stupid whore, and I should just kill myself since that's what everyone seems to think. I want to stop thinking this, I really do. It's just hard not to be f*cking depressed when everyone seems to want me to.

bleh. thats just mean and wrong! of course you shouldnt kill yourself, thats not the best route for the other people in your future. soon enough, youll find someone who loves you and you ywo wil be truly happy. but if you kill yourself not only are you giving up that chance, but your denying someone else the chance of being with your serious awesome sexiness

dont listen to them. we all have self esteem issues (well, not me, i dont have a self esteem anymore. its so low it disappeared ) but we can work through them. always know that you are NOT a (howd they put it? useless whore/twat?). you are a person who is BETTER than they are. thats right. your better than them. you want to know why?

ill tell you anyways, its because if they are insecure enough to feel the need to push you down below them by intsulting you, its that they are afraid you are better than them. they need you to feel subordinate so that they can feel superior. also, ANYONE who insults someone like that is lower than me. and to me, that is low.

all i can say is verbally defend yourself. Try agreeing with him. yes, thats right, agree. if he sees that you are no longer any fun to sport with because you casually take what he says and agree with him, he wont feel that he is denominating you anymore. try it, it works.

disclaimer: he MIGHT be too thick to realise that he isnt having an effect anymore.

hope i helped, and NEVER HURT YOURSELF!

have a nice day

wow this is messed up whoever said that about the knife aught to get there head examined or introduced to captain sledgehammer.

or some zombie badgers.

but seriously never ever let people put you down, ignore them surround your self with happy friendly people who want to look out for you and whom you can trust even if its your own family you shouldnt suround your self with people that could make you want to end your life.

in the end its never worth killing yourself over what somone else says

*smile*
lemme tell you something.

no one is worthless. there are too many things left unsaid at this point in the universe for you to not have a perfect purpose.. there are people who are in your life yet who will appreciate you for who you are... if you let them know who it is.

"She tapped her finger & nothing happened & she thought she had lost her magic, but it had only changed & it took her awhile to figure it out. " -Brian Andreas

and you're only a conformist if you are doing it for someone else's reasons... if i buy a shirt from the gap because i like it, not because my friends all have one, then i am still my own person... you are in control of your destiny... not a-holes who dont know what you are worth...

just keep rockin...

just be you! if someone has an issue with who you are...thats their issue, not yours! dont let some ninny make you feel like that cos you are obviously better than them! i agree with acid! if they try to be all mean, just go passive...agree, assume an air of meh-ness, and soon enough they will get bored and skanky and will go away and stop being so mean to a lovely person!

mwah!

Fal xXx

lol zombie badgers.

Yeah anyone who would say something like that is worthless and you should not even listen to a word he says.

What you need is a golf club and a few 8-track players.

Gee, I sure wish that somebody would tell me that I'm only good for being raped with a knife. Frankly, I think your friends are stupid depressed whores themselves. Like they say though, "ignorance is retarded"....or...wait...that's not how it went was it? Either way, it's cool that you don't hate them, although you most definitely should. Seriously though, the only reason people will point out stuff like that to you is if they have problems of their own. You should go on an adventure to find better friends. You don't have to stop being friends with these effers of yours, but at least meet some nice people. Nice people are good. And also, you should most definitely tell them what whores they're being. Not in those words of course. Something nicer like about how it's making you feel really crappy when they do it. And if they whine about that, then walk the (hell?) away. Because it's not worth it.

And...how old are you all? I mean I'm hoping these "friends" of yours have not reached like the 20+ years yet, because if so they're immature. But let's just assume you are all a bunch of rambunctious teens. You will grow out of it. Don't worry about feeling so miserable, because believe me, it will not last forever. And no need to kill yourself either. Because depression does not make up who you are, it blinds you from the truth of who you are. And giving into that is like allowing someone to rape you with a knife and then taking up no lawsuit. And nobody deserves that. Not even you. And especially not you. It's okay to feel depressed. And for the whorish culture we live in, it is normal.

it is so easy to say disregard the crap said about you, just not so easy to actually hear it and truly believe it. I dont know you or pretend to know you even, but I do hear you. :

Aidan, the only thing wrong with you is that you let what other people say affect you too much. And you are far too tolerant of your friend's behavior, anyone who says stuff like that seriously isn't worth your time.

Besides that, even if you were worthless, why the hell would you kill yourself? Be selfish for once in your life, you should live because it's probably alot more fun than dieing. That should be enough.

The very same existentialism that you find justifies your death actually justifies your life. What is worth? The value that a human being places in an object, either material or abstract. But one person's value is not another's, and humanity doesn't share the exact same views, so therefore no one or thing can be worthless.

Forget whether you are 'good' or 'bad', it's irrelevant. My advice would be to associate with people who hold you in high esteem. It's better for your ego, which is the only other thing which you seem to lack from what I have read about you.

You know, when you think about it, dying when you are worthless leaves yourself that way. Living when you're worthless gives you a chance to make worth for yourself. I think that's pretty cool. Something to think about.