Wasn't sure if this should go in Daily Life or Issues, move it if nessecary.

Okay, first some background. Not too long before I came to the forums, I had just finished getting rid of my arrogance and egotism. Now, before I had, I clearly let everyone in my class know that (I thought) I was smarter than any of them. Now, people still bring it up a lot, and I've told them I'm not like that anymore, but they won't listen. For example today (letters will represent people):
*really confusing problem no one knows how to figure out*
G: Maybe Reuben knows since he's so smart.
Me: Okay, dude I'm not like that anymore. I was arrogant and egotistical back then.
K: He's trying to use big words to prove he's smarter than us!

Yeah, it usually carries on in that fashion. And I hate it! I mean, it's really tough to make friends when everyone thinks you think you're better than them. Any advice or anything?

I think that the only way to prove to anyone that you have changed, is to show them over time that you have. You don't have to keep defending yourself against what you have said or done in the past. You apologized, and explained to them that you are trying to/have changed. I would say to leave it at that. If they say something childish or rude, just ignore their remarks. Either answer the teacher's question, or tell the teacher that you do not know the answer... but ignore any rude remarks that the other students say. Just be yourself, and they will eventually get over it.

I think.... lol

It's one of those things. Unless someone is around you a lot he or she won't notice how much you've changed and if you used to be a nut job, an asshole or egocentric, then most people won't bother to get to know the "new" you. Case in point, back in my youthful days (and in speratic instances when I was switching meds) was a nut job. When I became more in control of my mental illness, I contacted an old friend of mine (who still thought I was a nut job). Through talking to her, I convinced her that I had changed and grew since living in Philadelphia (and sending her a pic of me weighing 160 pounds at the time didn't hurt ). It takes a lot to convince others that you've changed and grew. Just continue being yourself and eventually someone will take notice.

Slowly move away from one personality to another. People will not believe you changed overnight, even if you had. Slowly leave your persona. Plus from what I understand you are due for a school change in a year or two. High school provides an excellent opportunity to change your entire character to people who don’t know you. It worked for me. And remember, if people don’t want to understand you, they serve no purpose to you. Consider them part of the environment and only consider them when you may hurt them, and in that case, don’t hurt ‘em. However, treat them with contempt on the inside, and with the right people and the intelligence to pull it off, you can openly mock them. I often find myself very frustrated with the little immature petulant whiny brats with the mental maturity and common sense of youngins, and it clearly shows. It’s ok to be hated, as long as you have people who don’t hate you. This doesn’t seem to be a problem with you, so I’m sure you will be fine.

wow. i too am in the process. sorta.
trying not to be the intellectual jerk my parents and sister grew me to be.

your company helps. im hanging out with more laid back people in order to become more laid back. and they're helping me learn. you just need good sidekicks and to be able to laugh at your former self...

doesn't mean you can't still be smart and know all the anwers...

I have friends like that.. I say a "big word" and they're like "oh she has to make us feel stupid by using big words". and half the time they're words the average 8th grader should know. But on changing your personality, you should, like Sir Maxerpopple said (I'm too lazy to quote) you should do it slowly, and if they're really your friends, go up to them and have a nice deep conversation (over cake) on how you've changed and how sorry you are about your formerly being egotistical. And if they bother you, be proud! You're smart, and that's a great way to be. Wow. I haven't typed that much in a while....

It was easy for me, a change in school systems made me start my life over. I had the same problem Silver had, but now my friends are intellectuals and debators, and even though we yell at someone for saying hegemony (long story, if you want to know ask), we have great conversations.

But take it slow fluff, give it time, get into high school, and things will change dramatically.

I forgot about this thread, heh heh. Well, basically everyone's accepted that I'm not the old me in that aspect anymore. So, yeah, thanks for your support everyone.

Heh... it's a good thing they accept you... i was about to go down there and beat them up.

Unfortunately for me, I have the same problem. Except I've never admitted I'm smarter than them and some of them are bigger idiots then mentioned. My advice, deal with it! all of your life you are going to meet arses like this so you are best off just thinking before you talk and back up everything you say, and if you get in a situation when you don't think (if you are like me, this will happen many times) promptly apologise and ask them to be the mature one, It makes them feel better about themselves.

Find some smarter friends, that's what I did. Even in my new school my first few friends were complete idiots, got rid of them and now I'm in a circle of the few conservatives in my school. Go Forensics Team and Model Congress!!!!!!!

It's hard for people to accept it..... Like, I had a fried who lied. She lied over the stupidest, most meaningless thing. I don't know if she did it for attention, or if it made her fel good, or if she was a pathological liar or what, but she lied. Now, she tries to say she changed, but still, no one can trust her.(maybe that's because she hasn't changed, but hey, it's my only example!) It's frustrating for her, but if she continues to tell truth, (or at least starts) people will slowly start to regain their trust in her. It's not like we'll wake up and say "I'm going to beleive Melanie today! Yup, every word!".. It takes time....

My expenrience with people is that they don't want you to change. They have you in the role of arrogant and egotistical, and in their minds that makes them better than you, even if its in the nicest way possible. You may think that you are better than them, but they find that a flaw and it therefore makes them better that you (if that makes sense). If you suddenly change for the better, it risks them losing their "better than you" mindset, and they don't want to accept it.

People don't accept change because they are ignorant. Thats why. Take me for example, I was that person that was never serious, had to make a joke of everything, and people are still going by the first impression that they got of me some few years ago, but truely I have changed. I've learned not to rely or trust people. I've given up on people.

Not wanting to see change does not mean ignorance.

People get comfy with their world, and often times are afraid of change. The people they surround themselves with fit into a pattern, and they are a comforting constant variable. When that variable changes, is can throw someone off alot, and they just want things the way they were before. Not necessarily ignorance, just not-wanting-things-to-change-edness.


Now that's scientific psychology talk!