I was just talking with another forumite....and we were talking about we both feel like we rarely smile for ourselves or in earnest. How we just smile to make people think we're happy, or just use the smile to put up a front.

In my case, it's become almost an instinct....to just...smile for people...to act a certain way for people. It's a really difficult concept for me to expain actually...it's not exactly like I'm hiding some great trauma from everyone, it's more like...there's this uncontrollable mask in front of me.

Anyway, I was telling the forumite that there will one day come a "shining thing'....that one thing that causes your heart to truly shine and make you smile in earnest. To bring forth your true smile. Nothing is more precious in this world then a true smile...a true warmth in your heart exploding through facial expression.

Anyone have feelings like this?

I have no idea if this relates to what you mean at all, but there's this guy that I know that every time I see him, I have to smile. It's the craziest, most disabling thing ever.

I doubt that's exactly what you were going for but he seems to evoke that shining feeling in me (and other people too, lol) and it's just kinda natural to smile real big and laugh to yourself about how strangely happy you are.

That's EXACTLY what I was referring to, Missy.

The "shining thing" doesn't necessarily have to be this big, taking over the world thing...it can just be a simple pleasure that evokes a true smile out of you. And its a powerful and wonderful thing. Because there truthfully is not enough heart felt smiles in this world nowadays I would think.

I smile a lot more than I used to. I don't do it all the time. If I did, then it would be fake. I think it's best to smile when you have a reason to do so. The key is finding good reasons.

I hate the "customer service smile." I hate it even more when I'm the one who has to perform it, because my fake smiles really come off as completely fake and insincere. I've never been good at fake-smiling. I find it's just easier to keep my normal appearance, to look grumpy or terrified, depending on my stress level. Or something. Besides, I hate my job too much to even bother with the fake smile anymore. Ugh, I cannot convey to you how much I hate my job.

I don't really use a fake smile for anyone else though, outside of work. It's too difficult for me to smile, for some reason. I'm bad at physical expressions of emotion, in general. Meh...

i know how you feel, aries. i smile a lot without feeling that 'shining thing' you're talking about. but i think the REASON everyone 'forces' themselves to smile when they don't really have that sort of 'smiling feeling' (anything from happiness to amusement) is, at least for me, because you sort of 'have' to smile to avoid offending someone (or something like that). i mean, no one notices if you DO smile; they notice if you don't.

but, at the same time, there's plenty of times where i smile because i 'feel' (as in the 'shiny thing' sort of feeling) like it. whenever i listen to certain songs, see certain people, or just hear a really good joke; i just smile.

i think the difference is between whether you need to smile, or whether you want to.

Smiling is always hard for me too, my real sile tends to look scary and my fake one eith looks smug or non-existant. I usually try to smile with my eyes instead of my mouth. This can be painful if you think too literally.

At my old job it was preferred that we have a smile for the customers and my fake smile was good (however would fade by closing). The funny thing is that I started having sores in my mouth about the same place all the time. I then realized that with all of my fake smiling I stared wearing a hole in my cheek. I thought it was rather funny.

eventually i quit with the faking....
the only thing about NOT smiling is backing it up.
you know, when people ask, "how you doin?"
if you dont say, "fine" then you have to explain....
well, i found explaining quickly is easier on my sanity than lying.

not that i dont smile all the time. i do. *is happy*

to address the actual topic... im with gerbil...
sometimes i cant help it when i hear a song i love. or a joke...

*gets all inspired to make a new topic*

i hadnt ever really thought about it before...but i do smile alot in a forced way... i dont really have a "shining thing" but most people confuse happiness with being content..i have peaceful things like songs and stuff...but nothing that really makes me smile...happiness is fickle

You know, it's odd, but I don't think I ever really smile unless I want to, unless it's an expression of something coming out from within. I guess I don't fake smile, which is odd. Maybe I'm just a happy bugger. Or maybe this is why people keep telling me I look depressed... I'm not going to go around smiling if I don't *feel* like smiling.

And as for the shiny happy thing? For me, it's when I see my girlfriend and she lights up because she sees me. When she smiles, I can't help but smile back. /me sighs.

I know exactly what you mean, being an actress I've been able to put up a front for most of the world to see. When I appear to be my happiest is actually when I am at my worst. I don't like the world to see me down, especially if your centre stage for something. "The show must go on" --- not just a saying for plays/movies but life as well.

::smiles for the public::

Shining things a-plenty at Jonman Towers. Clearly, there's the whole engagement thing, and all the goodness that goes along with that, but simple pleasures, like looking across the Sound at the snow-capped mountains, or getting the perfect racing line on *insert racing videogame title here*, having that chilli turn out just perfick, or that smooth break that makes my botty wiggle on whatever CD happens to be spinning.

I smile mostly when i make other people smile, its simply one of the most gratifying things i can think of, though i was grinning like an idiot in the toy store earlier today when i made a whole shelf of tiggers stand up and bounce for a bit and sing a song.....i really should get that "I'm an intellectual midget" t-shirt printed, possibly with a comical picture on it too

most of the time when i smile its for the benifit of others. its the one habit i have that hasnt done me any harm, and people seem more at eas around me because of it. i also force humor at times, and once agin to make it easier for the people around me. i used to be tottaly upfront with people (and i still am with some people, like righteous, irish and aries) but normally its forced happyness, the magority of my posts in daft are forced happyness, when im yelling at people its normally what im thinking. i have alot of opinoins that i have never addressed to anyone because i dont want people to be uncomfortable around me (just look what happened in the abortion thread, also in the thread about global warming) but yeah i dont think many people know the real me and the way i see it is as long as they dont they wont be a.) afraid of me b.) hate me. i gues its a self preservation thing.

As a performer (acting, color guard, and choir), I have a great fake smile. Comes from being the daughter of a waitress.

But I also have wonderful friends who make me laugh and smile everyday... like when I look sad, my friend John pulls out his mini-harmonica and plays for me... never fails to cheer me up.

The smile you see upon my face,
It isn't really cheer,
It doesn't express happyness,
It's fake and insincere.
I look happy on the outside.
But inside I weep.
I'm filled with pain and lonelyness,
I cry myself to sleep.
Although it may seem so,
I'm not really grinning,
The happy spark tries to fight,
But I know it isn't winning
So when you see a smile on my face,
Know everything's not alright.
The happyness upon my face,
Won't be there tonight.
Instead it'll be the real me,
The one who wears a mask all day,
To seem not so angry and depressed.
To seem not so bleak and gray.

ditto

Generally when I'm performing, I'm smiling because I'm enjoying it. True... there are moments when you don't want to smile but you have to grin and bear it, but... when I'm up on stage and communicating with that many people at once... I've always felt like there was *something* flowing through me at that moment in time... creative divine energy, if you will... and that feeling, of being up there and communicating and creating... makes me smile from the inside.

When I'm happy, I smile.
When I'm depressed, I frown.
When I'm angry, I scowl.
When I'm amused, I grin.
When I'm hurt, I cry.
When I feel an emotion, I show it.
That's all you can offer the world.

There is something out there that makes me break into mad fits of painful smiling.

Simon.

In him, I saw reason to smile again. True beauty as well, but I suppose that's a sappy rant for another evening.

There are other people that evoke that response out of me. It saddens me that the majority of them are online relationships, as I would revel in having them be RL ones. But alas, we work with what we're given.

I hope I can find something like that someday. The fact that other people have is partly encouraging, and partly depressing because I feel like I'm missing out on something. My fake smile hasn't been all that great lately, either. I've actually started expressing what I feel, which is why my family can't stand to be around me anymore...

It sucks to know that people only like you when you're being fake.

Antagony - Those used to be my exact feelings. Hopeful because I knew the same would happen to me, but saddened because it wasn't already happening.

And if it's one thing I learned: Don't let your sorrow blind your eyes so that you might not see the path to happiness.

I express what I feel nearly all of the time.

I cry a lot. More than the average person. Well, I cry when I'm sad, that is -- I'm hardly sad all of the time. But when I am -- watch out! You're in danger of being swept away by a flood. My husband doesn't understand my crying, because he doesn't see how it makes me feel better since I always end up with a headache, puffy eyes, and sometimes even get sick if it's really bad. But...it does. It just feels good to release the emotions I guess.

When I'm happy, I smile. I tend to smile a lot when talking with friends or family (immediate family, that is...extended family...not so much). I generally don't do fake smiles very much. If it's a special occasion and I'm feeling down, I might pretend to be happy because I don't want to bring everyone else down with me (like this Thanksgiving I had to do that a few times). But that's usually the only time I fake happiness for anyone.

I've been called over-emotional by many...and I guess that's because I just don't hide what I'm feeling behind a fake smile like so many people seem to do. *shrug*

i cant every really cry. when i cry so does everyone else, i only cry when im alone. i didnt even cry at my moms funeral because i dont like it when other people cry.

i kinda know what you mean... i didnt smile for 17 years of my life. (im currently 17, for story's purposes). but a few months back, i was given a reason to smile, and, i really cant stop... not that i want to. its a good feeling, to smile because your so happy, im glad i have this feeling, and im glad that the circumstances that have given me this happyness are the way they are.

Yeah really man. I never had anything to smile about. I've been a depressed little thing for like sixteen/seventeen years. Then I got something drastically happy in my life and I smiled, genuinely. Course, before then I couldn't really fake smile too often, I just plain did not smile. Now, even though the drastically happy bit has died down and I'm a bit depressed, I still always get those brief things of genuine happiness. Like this childish giddiness pooring out of my ears. Over tiny things. But it's not fake. It's real, it's just brief and instantanious. I like it.

Sometimes you have to make your own "shining" thing happen, it's great when someone is there to pick your emotions up, or just that unexpected presence out of the blue.

But, personaly I find it most gratifying when I am the giver of that "shining thing" it makes you feel all warm and happy inside, and you are helplessly happy for a moment because of it. You smile right then, and you know it's honest and true.

I don't know, I'm just that kind of person. I rather make and give than expect and wait to receive. I find ways to give "shining moments".

We all have an amazing ability to drag things down, it's easy. We all have our reasons to be unhappy. Of course I am not saying we MUST be happy 24/7. That would be insane!

So. maybe go out today and while you're walking in the mall or anywhere and you see that long faced person. Make it a challenge to make them smile. Because, their "shining " will be yours also and for a moment the world stops being ugly.


::: vicious huggers ::: Now y'all be happy damn it!!!


*Pops open bottle of Matazone...gulp gulp gulp...ahhhh... refreshin'!*