Him: hi
Me: hiya
Him: how do you do
Me: I do well, and you?
Him: thankx im ok too r u from?
Me: I'm from the US. You?
Him: waaaa im in london
Him: asl plz
Me: 18/f/USA
Him: r u beautiful?
Me: Probably not.
Him: why?
Him: your real name plz
Me: My real name is Diane.
Me: What about you, a/s/l?
Him: 22 m
Him: u have a pretty name
Me: Thanks.
Him: hi diane
Me: Hello...
Him: do you have a boy friends
Me: Nope.
Him: why not
Me: Oh, I don't know, probably because I'm fat.
Him: no dont say that
Me: Why not? Don't you like the truth?
Me: The truth will set you free you know.
Him: yep i know but being fat is not a matter
Me: It isn't?
Me: Then why don't I have a boyfriend?
Me: Probably because I'm annoying, then... that must be it...
Me: I might just be stupid.
Him: u don't seem to stupid to me
Me: I don't know why I'm single but I'm sure there's a good reason
Him: actually be single is better then with bad company
Me: Yeah, that's what my last boyfriend said when he broke up with me.
Him: o that mean u had a boy fr... in past
Me: It was a while ago, but yes
Him: o i c
Me: He dated my best friend after me. I think that says plenty.
Him: ooo so sad
Him: he must probbley the stupid man
Me: No, he was good at physics, I think that means that he was smart.
Him: he may be good in physics but not mantelly
Me: It's okay, she was prettier than me, so it makes sense.
Him: no i can'take that
Him: only stupid people do this kind thing
Me: I don't think so... it made sense. She was prettier than me so of course he should date her.
Him: is she relly
Him: i don'think so
Me: She was... she had long, pretty brown hair.
Him: dont u have long hair
Me: I didn't then, but I do now
Him: what short of hair do you have now?
Me: my hair is shoulder-length
Him: what colour
Me: Brown. I dyed it to be just like my friend's so I can be pretty too.
Him: waaa i wish u r with me i like brown hair soulder lenght
Me: Really? You'd like my friend then.
Him: i don't think so
Him: not your friends
Me: Why not? She's really pretty and nice too.
Him: i think c is bitch because she want out with your boyfriends
Me: Don't call her a bitch! She's nice.
Him: i dought about that
Me: Whateva... it doesn't matter.
Him: actullly u er right
Him: so r u looking for new boyssss
Me: Yeah. I hate being alone. It makes me feel worthless. All my friends have boys. I'm a loser.
Him: it is very nice to talk to u
Him: i will never forget
Him: u r a star
HIm: u must be very inteligent
Me: Oh, no I'm not...
Him: i think u r be positive
Him: what is time there now?
Me: 4.30pm
(suddenly he leaves the table, but soon returns)
Him: sorry im back
Me: You left me.
Me: You think I'm ugly too, don't you.
Him: no never
Me: Then why did you leave me?
Me: Am I not good enough for you?
Me: Just go away...
Him: no that no right darling
Me: I think it is.
Me: Just go away.

I then booted him from the table, and he IMs me:

Him: hello i like u come on
Him: come on plz plz plz plz
Him: hello

And then I got an email entitled "be positive"

"hi sweety i don't mean to hurt u because i been disconnected, because this stupid phone line.
i m veryyyyyyyyy sorrrrrryyyyy
plz forgive me. positive"

Ha. I have anchored another one.

Yahoo Flirters 0, Missy 5.

ummm... congrats on your accomplishment?

wow. i think u should have two scoreboards there missy. the other one should read:

yahoo flirters 0 english language -1

LMFAO!!!
Keep 'em coming Missy, this is fantasmickal!

Once I told this guy I WASN'T into the whole 'I love you, marry me now!" sort of thing and he was like, 'You are only thriteen, you are at a young age". And later on he was all "When do you want to be married, I though you wanted to get married, I love you honey!" It was great. I love stupid people.

Shite I think I've laughed my arse off!!!

That was great! Dumb fool.

*waves bye bye to arse*

Aysha xxx

*bows to missy* Ah, you play them like a fiddle, my lady!

I agree with Tarantio about that second scoreboard....let's see if you can find a yahoo flirter that can actually successfully use the english language!

(It makes me wonder, too....do they ever notice when they're talking to someone who doesn't say "how r u doin sweeeettie", how much better the spelling is? It makes you wonder....)

sad sad sad.

Warning - Do Not Read This if you are highly sensitive to any type of relationship abuse and will be upset by a dramatization of it used to poke fun at a Yahoo Idiot.

Victim Number 6 - Missy and Commie tag-team takedown!

This particular victim, pymp2003vn, invited me to his particular pool table. It was a simple target just by the name, and he started asking details immediately. Pymp was also from California, just like everyone else on the goddamn internet. He was also desperate, also just like everyone else in Yahoo Pool. I decided to play dumb and flirt along. After I sent Pymp a bullshit picture of a green-eyed brunette, he was definitely stricken.

Him: do you think we could of make a very cute couple
Me: maybe i havent been single very long
Me: my ex was really mean so im afraid
Him: how can anyone be mean to your cute face
Him: u should just kick his ass
Me: i wanted to but hes strong and im not
Him: u need help
Me: help?

He was right. It was time for help in attacking Yahoo Idiot Number Six. Commie is called to the scene, who IMed Pymp.

commiebastard616: WTF U BEEN SAYIN 2 MY GURL
pymp2003vn: who is your girlfriend
commiebastard616: CRYSTALLINE_INNUENDO
commiebastard616: U STAY DA F**K AWAY FROM HER
commiebastard616: U HEAR ME F**KER
pymp2003vn: f**k u
pymp2003vn: i talk to who ever i want b*tch
commiebastard616: STFU
commiebastard616: U LISTEN
commiebastard616: U DONT GO AROUND COMIN ON 2 someone ELSES WOMAN
commiebastard616: SO UNLESS U WANT 2 B IN HELLA TROUBLE U STOP TLKIN 2 HER
pymp2003vn: m i suppose to be scare
commiebastard616: U THINK your HOT S**T HUH

Pymp was very confused.

Him: your boyfriend is talking to me
Me: wat? i dont have a boyfriend
Me: i broke up with my boyfriend
Him: he claim u r
Me: im not i broke up a week ago but he wont leave me alone
Him: he is mad cuz u r talking to me babe
Me: who is imin u i can tell u if hes my ex or not
Him: r u still there babe
Me: im scared hes treatening me
Him: y
Him: is that your bf
Me: is he commiebastard becus if he is thats him
Him: yes thats him
Me: omg this is bad

pymp2003vn: she doesnt claim u buddy
commiebastard616: THINK U CAN GO ROUND TRYIN 2 STEAL A BRUTHA'S WOMAN
pymp2003vn: she said that she doesnt have a man
pymp2003vn: thats your problem not mine
pymp2003vn: y u treating her b*tch
commiebastard616: THAS MY BUSINESS U FAGGOT
commiebastard616: WHY DA F**K U THINK U CAN GO ROUND CUMMIN ON TO SOME GUYS GF?
pymp2003vn: if you were a man u would of treat your ladie with kindness
pymp2003vn: u stupid f**k
pymp2003vn: yes thats him
pymp2003vn: u r a bastard
commiebastard616: U DONT KNO SHIT
commiebastard616: U DONT KNO WHAT DA F**KS GOIN ON
commiebastard616: U SHUT your F**KIN MOUTH BOUT THINGS U DONT UNDERSTAND
pymp2003vn: y dont u leave her alone
commiebastard616: U NOT HEAR ME? U DONT KNO BOUT US.
commiebastard616: U DONT KNO WHAS GOIN DOWN

Pymp is growing sick of defending me.

Him: u need to deal with your problem babe
Him: dont be scared of him
Me: i cant he'll yell at me
Him: but he is not your bf anymore right
Me: no we broke up i told him its over
Him: u need to get it through his thick skull

pymp2003vn: than y she dont claim u anymore
commiebastard616: SHE JUST A WOMAN, SHE DONT KNO WHAS GOOD 4 HER
commiebastard616: DAMMIT U KNO WHAT DEY LYK
pymp2003vn: y u so quiet fool
commiebastard616: U NOT HEAR WHAT IM SAYIN?
commiebastard616: U NOT HEAR ME FOO
pymp2003vn: shut the f**k up
commiebastard616: SHE JUST A WOMAN, SHE DONT KNO WHAS GOOD 4 HER
pymp2003vn: y u think u know whats good for her
commiebastard616: BCOS I KNO HER.

Finally I grow tired of laughing hysterically. I've been sitting on my couch for a long time and I really need to pee. So it's time to end this fun.

Me: he says we shuld be together
Me: maybe i shuld
Me: i dont want him to yell
Him: r u talking to him
Me: yeah i think were makin up

pymp2003vn: she would be good if you leave her the f**k alone
commiebastard616: Y U THINK U KNO HER? U DONT KNO HER
pymp2003vn: no i dont
commiebastard616: THEN Y U SAYIN SH*T?
pymp2003vn: cuz u talk sh*t first
pymp2003vn: u dont know me either
commiebastard616: U COMIN ON 2 MY WOMAN, U THINK IM GONNA SIT HERE?
pymp2003vn: how the f**k i know it was your woman
pymp2003vn: atleast u could off been polite and ask me nicely fu**er
commiebastard616: STFU
commiebastard616: I DONT TAKE SH*T FROM NOBODY
pymp2003vn: f**k u too

Him: u sure u want to do that
Me: i guess
Him: y
Me: he says he loves me
Me: i should go
Me: bye

And so ends the saga of Yahoo Idiot Number Six.
I can't. Believe. Anyone bought this.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Missy & Commie 1, Pymp 0.

We rock, Missy. We really do.

Why can't I ever meet these lonely people in California? Everyone I meet is from Texas or England. Gah@you Missy!

Good one by the way. Next victim ask him/her to have sex with a dolphin. It gets hilarious results.

or a goose. send them my way for handy pointers! >.<

Trust me, my Yahoo Specials aren't the kind of people any person with self-respect would want to date, even if 95% of them are from Cali. Just as a point of interest, the other 5% are from NYC or Canada. Oh, and I had one from Georgia who claimed to be a personal trainer. Sadly enough, he's the most realistic-sounding person I've run into yet.

On that same topic...

I got annoyed with letting the Yahooers hit on me on Wednesday, so although this guy never got to Yahoo Special status, he was a victim in his own regard.

litboy69: im 20 and from cali
crystalline_innuendo (Me): You know, you're the seventh person from California I've met today.
crystalline_innuendo (Me): Do all Californians think it's fun to play cyber-pool?
litboy: theres a lot of us
Me: You're f**king multiplying. You're taking over the internet by sheer force in numbers.
litboy: im not
litboy: im single
litboy: =)
Me: Do you speak English?
litboy: yeah
Me: Do you know what an apostrophe is?
litboy: yeah
Me: What did they do to you to make you avoid them so much?
litboy: i'm lazy

I then proceeded to kick him from the table. Our conversation moves to the general lobby chat area:

litboy: crystal is a c*nt
Me: Anyone who knows how to spell, come to table 5 and we'll play.
t8b_sis: to spell?
notoriousbbb_4_eva: to spell?
Me: Yes. You know, spelling and grammar, those nice fundamentals of the English language?
(chat is silent for 3 whole minutes, unheard of in Yahoo chat history)
Me: I notice no takers.
Me: Why the f**k am I not surprised. (Exit)

OMG BEST CONVERSATION EVER. This is my Special-est Yahoo Special yet. Thanks Lo for ideas.

seth_rahul2001: hi how r u
Me: im fine thanks, u?
Him: asl plz
Me: 18/f/usa, u?
Him: 22/m/india
Him: your name
Me: my names gabrielle
Him: wht do you do
Me: wat about u wats your name
Him: im indian
Him: name rahul searchimg job
Me: im a student
Me: thats cool
Him: how many bf u hv
Me: i dont have any bf lol
Him: may i se u may send any pic to me
Me: where can i send it
Him: seth_rahul2001@yahoo.com
Me: ok ill send it
Him: i'll wait your pic

I sent him the Xanga Personal's girl from the last time. For reminder, it's a nice-looking, brown-haired, green-eyed chick.

Him: tell me more about your self
Me: im 5 foot 6 in and i like to sing
Him: good
Him: else
Me: i like cats and dolphins they r my fave
Him: howmany member in your family
Me: there r 5 people in my family.
Me: did u get my pic?
Him; yayaa
Him: just opne now
Him: nice pic your too prity a wwnannn marriy with u
Me: thats really nice of u
Him: i giveing u a new name
Him: ok
Him: sonia
Me: okay
Me: thats pretty, i like it
Him: ok
Him: u like that name
Me: yea i like it
Him: send more pic to me which is full length
Me: i dont have any more im not on my own computer
Him: ok when
Him: u arrenge then send me pk
Him: i want to marry with u
Me: ill send u one when i get home ok

I'm starting to think this is definitely headed in the wrong direction for my liking... I think it's time to drop the bombshell.

Me: i cant marry you
Me: i only have sex with dolphins
(silence)
Him: but how
Me: it not like real sex... they dont have sex like ppl do
Me: but they very intimat
Me: my dophin will get jealous
Him: ok i hv to go for some imp work can we cancle

this game

Rahul runs from the table. Missy is victorious.

Missy 7, Yahoo Flirters 0.

*jaw drops and hits the floor*


I. LOVE. YOU.

This is PURE class. Undeniable. It's gorgeous and perfect. A bittersweet symphony of Yahoo. I love it.

You know I can't make this stuff up. Well, I could, but imitated stupidity pales in comparison to the freshly generated variety... you'd know the difference. This is high quality crap from the mouths of our fellow members of this Net-bound generation.

All hail MistressAlti, Goddess of Yahoo Supremacy

/me worships

Next time I encounter ish with Yahoo pervs, I'm calling on YOU, super gal!

most excellent!! muchos respect girly

lol, yeah quite fun, although i've seen this before...

but fun all the same.

Sean played a very good part

Missy...how dare you post out personal conversations for the whole world to see

Lmao

This is so wrong Missy.....But damn funny!!!!! I remember when me and my mate joined an internet dating site for a laugh, and I said I was a six foot tall, redhaired ex lion tamer with no arms!!!! And the fools beliiiiiiieeeeeeeved me!!! Mwahahahaha

lol anytime. Like that one? Here's another one that used to be one of my favs to pull. When things are getting dull or the guy is just boldly being a prick do this: Will you give my monkey a blowjob? You see I have too many sores in my mouth at the moment, and he's getting very tempermental. If he flings one more pile of poo at me I think I'm going to scream! Please I beg of you. If you love me, give my monkey a blow job.

Or something similar. lol

One of my favorites to do goes something like this:

The idiot: hey baby wanna cyber
Me: Hmmm. Well, I would, but I have an appointment, so I'm just on my way out the door. Here, talk to my brother. I saw your profile pic and you look like his type.
The idiot: no baby i wanna talk to u
Me: *Insert disgustingly descriptive scene with my "brother" here*

Meanwhile, the idiot is usually saying something like "no, no! bring your sister back!"

Once I told the guy that I was 12, and he still wanted to cyber. Sicko. My "brother" got very violent and descriptive with that guy. I hope it effectively killed his sex drive for at least a little while.

For some reason, none of them ever think to block me, they just say "no! stop!" and such. I haven't run into any bi guys yet. That would cause problems with the whole brother scenario.

And lmfao @ the dolphin sex one! You should send someone who has a mic to the goose page, and tell them it got you all hot and bothered. See if you can get them to trumpet like a goose over voice chat!

Hmn, breaking people's hearts in the name of our entertainment.

While it is funny how desperate they are, seems a bit wrong.

Seems to be a formula to this...

1. Make nice with victim
2. Lie to victim
3. Laugh at victim


That's great. Real class.

Mr Maxerpopple. Dude. Are you saying that entrapment to achieve self-satisfaction, whilst proferring spelling criticism, and trying to anonymously belittle people from far away, and/or others who are trying to help, is a bad thing? Mr Maxerpopple. You surprise me.

That;s Sir!

I didn't go to nobility school to be called Mister like a bourgeouis pig!

And when I insult people, it's up close and in their face!

Missy I love you - your are teh roxxoring. Marry me, or do something equally hasty and unnecessary that we'll later regret.

Here are some of my old ones that I used to post on a friends website before it went down. Feel free to use these for ideas:

LoLo vs Dusti

__LoLo__ will you rape a dolphin for me?
__LoLo__ that really turns me on
dusti-25 ok
dusti-25 ok
dusti-25 if you will f**k me
__LoLo__ well first i have to hear all the details on what you are going to do to the dolphin
__LoLo__ tell me what you'll do to the blowhole
dusti-25 stick my c*ck in it and jerk till i cummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
__LoLo__ OoO
__LoLo__ what else?
dusti-25 cum an cum an cummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
dusti-25 what would u do to it
__LoLo__ im just sitting back watching you.......enjoying this
__LoLo__ cum on the dolphins dorsel fin baby
__LoLo__ tell me more
__LoLo__ i'm getting so excited i cant sit still

Lo vs Jody

jody_98 u m o rf
__Lo__ both
jody_98 explain
__Lo__ hermaphrodite baby
__Lo__ both sets of sexual organs
__Lo__ will you rub my tits and d*ck at the same time
jody_98 ever held a guys hand
jody_98 yes
__Lo__ why yes i have and then i took it and made him stick his fist and a small animal up his own anus
jody_98 why yes yu have what
__Lo__ held a guys hand
__Lo__ keep up
jody_98 how did it happen
__Lo__ we met on a hot night under a ferris wheel ........ he was a carny
jody_98 and
jody_98 then what
__Lo__ and then he blew the smoke out from his nose in smoke rings and i just fell in love
__Lo__ and that toothless smile just made me melt
jody_98 what about a kiss
__Lo__ will you kiss me?
__Lo__ make me feel human
jody_98 yes
__Lo__ can i spank you with a raccoon hat?
jody_98 yes
jody_98 how did u get his hand
__Lo__ lets not talk about him tell me the dirty things you want to do to my freakish body
jody_98 u love me
__Lo__ yes if thats what it takes to get you to talk dirty to me
jody_98 i love you
__Lo__ will you stick your finger up my pee hole?
jody_98 yes
jody_98 i love you hon

LoLo vs Marthan

marthan6 hello
__LoLo__ why are you hiding your pecker?
marthan6 for you to open it
__LoLo__ can i use a spoon?
marthan6 sure
__LoLo__ then can i smack your @ss and call you zimbobway?
marthan6 sure
__LoLo__ wow
__LoLo__ will you give my animales hand jobs to realive their hornyness?
marthan6 i give my penis to you
__LoLo__ can i hang it over my mantle?
marthan6 sure
marthan6 will you hug it?
__LoLo__ can i use a towel?
marthan6 sure
__LoLo__ can i get both arms and a slimjim around it?
marthan6 sure
__LoLo__ do you like manwhiches?
marthan6 i like your hand to touch
__LoLo__ **pokes nose**
marthan6 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
__LoLo__ **pokes eye**
marthan6 nice feeling
__LoLo__ **pulls out finger.......ewwww.....yer eyes on my finger**
__LoLo__ **bounces it like a ball**
marthan6 mmmmmmmmmmm

LoLo vs Nima

nima_73 hi asl?
__LoLo__ im not an @sshole how dare you insult me like that
__LoLo__ are you a nima toad?
nima_73 what u mean?
nima_73 no i want lick your @ss do you like it?
nima_73 f/m?
__LoLo__ oh yes lick my @ss then rub your belly button lint all over my boobs
__LoLo__ what do you want me to be
nima_73 ok yeah i want u girl
__LoLo__ then thats what i shall be
__LoLo__ today only
nima_73 f*ck your mother
__LoLo__ oh a three way im into that
__LoLo__ can i f*ck you up the @ss while you lick her EDIT?
nima_73 ok yeah
nima_73 i want f*ck your sister too
__LoLo__ ok im going to pull out the maranara for lubrication
__LoLo__ my sisters dead but if youre into necraphelia im all for it
nima_73 w u like f*ck my @ss?
__LoLo__ anal lovings the way of the world now
__LoLo__ i like to shove turkey heads up my mens @sses......are you up for that?
nima_73 r u a gay ?
__LoLo__ no im a girl today remember
nima_73 no i ask really?
__LoLo__ i just love to stick animals in my mens @ss while they spank me with wet spaghetti noodles
__LoLo__ does that make me gay?
nima_73 (Arrrgh)
__LoLo__ ill be a girl for you if that makes me not gay
nima_73 go heel
__LoLo__ ok ill get down on all fours barking like a dog licking and sniffing your private parts while pooping on your carpet if that pleases you
nima_73 who r u ? r u crazy?
__LoLo__ no im just a "girl" looking for a fun time with a sexy lil boy like yourself
nima_73 r u virgin?
__LoLo__ well my daddy's uncle used to play dress down with me when i was little but i dont know that that makes me not a virgin
_LoLo__ you tell me
nima_73 what is your name?
__LoLo__ well the people at the home call me fuzzy butt ........... but im not really sure
nima_73 how old r u?
__LoLo__ oh i just found a napkin that says latoya that must be my name.......and i can only remember living for 15 years now but i could be wrong
nima_73 how is your EDIT now?
__LoLo__ purring over in the corner have sweet cat naps as it appears
__LoLo__ would you like me to wake her so you can have her lick your balls with her course tongue
nima_73 do you like suck my c__k?
__LoLo__ my daddys uncle used to make me put his pee pee in his mouth and move my tongue around occasionaly biting a piece out of it.....would you like me to do this to you?
nima_73 what u say answer my ask shortly?
__LoLo__ oh no my daddys uncle is here ......... please dont let him come in my room
nima_73 do you like @ss fucking?
__LoLo__ oh no here he comes i have to go hide
__LoLo__ thanks for the cyber baby daddy......next time we'll get the chains and dead squirrels
nima_73 does he f*ck u before?

LoLo vs Too Hot (with a name like that how could I resist)

_LoLo__ will you molest a gorilla for me?
__LoLo__ i hear you do really kinky sh*t
to_hot_4u69 f*ck u
__LoLo__ oh come on baby i want to make hot ewak love to you
to_hot_4u69 what is ewak
__LoLo__ those small like teddy bear animals in star wars movies
to_hot_4u69 that is just sick
__LoLo__ come on baby please
to_hot_4u69 you sick f*ck leave me alone
__LoLo__ you wont molest a gorrilla even for me?
to_hot_4u69 only if i get to play lorena bobbit
__LoLo__ well that would work if i had a penis
to_hot_4u69 well i am not les so therefore, leave me alone, only if i can play justice ann
__LoLo__ you know you want to be though
__LoLo__ ill turn you into one with my leet carpet licking skills
to_hot_4u69 well considering you wanted me to do that for you you must be the les
__LoLo__ can you say oh baby baby for me and play with a squirell hat
to_hot_4u69 no
__LoLo__ so do you like nsync?
to_hot_4u69 no
to_hot_4u69 they r gay
to_hot_4u69 do you like the backdoor fags
__LoLo__ they molested gorillas for me once
to_hot_4u69 well i am glad someone did for you so go talk to them then
__LoLo__ well i want you
to_hot_4u69 well i am not a carpet licker so go find someone who is
__LoLo__ not even for shag carpeting
to_hot_4u69 you sick f*ck leave me alone
to_hot_4u69 you sick f*ck leave me alone
__LoLo__ only if you swallow a glass of spam fat and sing the star spangled banner while licking a raw onion
to_hot_4u69 u r one sick f*ck you know that
__LoLo__ well actually no i take my daily doses of vitaman c to prevent that
to_hot_4u69 well go try to molest someone elses gorilla, and leave me alone
__LoLo__ oh so you do have a gorilla there
__LoLo__ molest it for me
__LoLo__ take pictures
to_hot_4u69 no actually one lives down the road
__LoLo__ so i can get off once tonight
to_hot_4u69 and no
to_hot_4u69 you molest them if you want it so bad
__LoLo__ i dont like to molest them myself
__LoLo__ i like to watch
to_hot_4u69 well then you are s*it out of luck sorry
__LoLo__ not even if i let it analy rape you?
to_hot_4u69 sorry i dont like butt f*cks

and this is when lolo got bored and said f*ck it

It's Ewok. Not Ewak, though Ewak does sound dirtier.

LoLo, you disgust me. In a good way.

Well, I decided to take missy's advice from last night and post up my lil "chat"

Tigereye013 = me of course
Just as a note: No I do not spell that badly, just needed a cover up
Today, we talk to STUDMUFFIN!!! oooooooohhhhh I know it floats the boat I know

studmuffin_842000 (10:22:36 AM): whats up
tigereye013 (10:23:02 AM): not much, asl
tigereye013 (10:23:58 AM): 17/f/canada here!
studmuffin_842000 (10:24:17 AM): you got cam
studmuffin_842000 (10:24:26 AM): m/17/oh
tigereye013 (10:25:07 AM): nah, sorry my mom took it away cuz she caught me doin bad stuff on it
tigereye013 (10:25:10 AM): sory
studmuffin_842000 (10:25:21 AM): kool
studmuffin_842000 (10:25:28 AM): sry lol
tigereye013 (10:25:53 AM): lol its aight
studmuffin_842000 (10:26:19 AM): so what do you want to talk about
tigereye013 (10:27:03 AM): it dun matter to me hun, i liek talkin bout anything, i would like to kno more bout u
studmuffin_842000 (10:28:20 AM): you see
tigereye013 (10:28:36 AM): i c, very nice
studmuffin_842000 (10:28:46 AM): yhanks
studmuffin_842000 (10:29:02 AM): thanks
studmuffin_842000 (10:29:21 AM): so what do you think
tigereye013 (10:29:52 AM): u r delicious
studmuffin_842000 (10:30:22 AM): so talk about somthing
tigereye013 (10:30:36 AM): k, what u do 4 fun?
studmuffin_842000 (10:31:18 AM): party get drunk an sleep
tigereye013 (10:31:35 AM): nice! me 2!
studmuffin_842000 (10:31:48 AM): kool
studmuffin_842000 (10:32:03 AM): to bad you ant got cam
studmuffin_842000 (10:32:20 AM): so i can see you
tigereye013 (10:32:21 AM): ya lol all these ppl are still asleep on da floor
studmuffin_842000 (10:32:36 AM): kool
tigereye013 (10:33:07 AM): lolol! u dare me to poke one of my sleepin friends?
studmuffin_842000 (10:33:22 AM): yea
tigereye013 (10:33:34 AM): sweeeeeet, k one sec

At this point, I thought I would make up some bullshit Canadian custom

tigereye013 (10:33:59 AM): ahahahahahahaha
tigereye013 (10:34:08 AM): she threw my wizard hat at me
studmuffin_842000 (10:34:38 AM): kool
studmuffin_842000 (10:34:47 AM): is she mad
tigereye013 (10:35:10 AM): damn it! now it's got shit spilled on it, man now no guy wiull wanna tie me up again! noooooo!
studmuffin_842000 (10:35:33 AM): what
tigereye013 (10:35:54 AM): oooh! must be different there
tigereye013 (10:36:11 AM): u c, we gots this thing in canada where to get a guy or girl
tigereye013 (10:36:20 AM): we have these pointy red or blue hats
tigereye013 (10:36:29 AM): that i liek to cal wizard hats
studmuffin_842000 (10:36:41 AM): yea
tigereye013 (10:36:49 AM): the better your hat, the beter chance u get laid
studmuffin_842000 (10:37:01 AM): really
tigereye013 (10:37:11 AM): all tru
studmuffin_842000 (10:37:14 AM): to bad i ant there
tigereye013 (10:37:26 AM): oh! u gots a wizard hat?
studmuffin_842000 (10:37:53 AM): no i dont need one
studmuffin_842000 (10:38:01 AM): you think
tigereye013 (10:38:49 AM): hmmmm....well i know when i was 12, my friend sara, now lives here butt before she lived in the u.s
tigereye013 (10:39:02 AM): when she cam here, she had to get da wizard hat
studmuffin_842000 (10:39:17 AM): really
tigereye013 (10:39:26 AM): it was a newbie hat eh but she got her licenced hat within liek omg...lkiek 2 years
tigereye013 (10:40:09 AM): im so gealous of her hat, like dam, she keeps tat thing in her china cabinet
tigereye013 (10:40:22 AM): wen not in use of course
studmuffin_842000 (10:42:08 AM): really so she dont loss it
tigereye013 (10:42:53 AM): na way, never! tat lucky bizatch
tigereye013 (10:43:19 AM): how am i suposed to get laid when my hat's got smurnoff spiled on it
tigereye013 (10:43:23 AM): damn it!
tigereye013 (10:45:00 AM): now i gots to wait for 2 years to get laid, thats when i get my updated wizard hat
tigereye013 (10:46:08 AM): sighz

He does not seem to be responding and I grow bored form waiting.

tigereye013 (10:46:59 AM): wat u think i should do?
tigereye013 (10:48:52 AM): shit! gtg, mom iz home! byeeeeeee!!!!!

I found this quite amusing myself, not as funny as Missy's but hey, I gave it my shot

*applause*

Funny funny stuff. Wrong, weird...but funny funny stuff. I should play Yahoo! Pool more often...

Oh I did not play yahoo pool, this was in a voice chatroom

This is even better than Rahul.

Missy vs. Santa Wannabe

jackjones138: hi
Me: hiya
jackjones138: hey
jackjones138: 24/m/ks
jackjones138: you p;lay?
jackjones138: play?
Me: 20/f/ma
Me: play?
jackjones138: cybersex
jackjones138: you have a headset?
Me: no, it's on my christmas list tho, lol
jackjones138: ok
jackjones138: do you play?
Me: sure, but i'll need you to do one thing for me
jackjones138: ok
Me: i have this christmastime fantasy
jackjones138: ok
Me: and i need you to laugh like santa while we do it, ok?
jackjones138: yes
jackjones138: well
jackjones138: start
Me: are you gonna laugh for me? i can't get going unless u do
jackjones138: ho ho ho
Me: *shudders* oh god baby... do it again
jackjones138: ho ho ho
jackjones138: ho ho ho ho
Me: *rips open your shirt and kisses your chest*
jackjones138: ho ho ho ha hoho
jackjones138: mmmmmmmmmmm
jackjones138: ho ho ho ho
jackjones138: suck my nipples
Me: *runs her tongue over your hairy Santa nipples then sucks gently on them*
jackjones138: i will suck yours ho ho ho
jackjones138: mmmmmmmmm
jackjones138: making me hard
jackjones138: ho ho
Me: how hard are you, santa baby?
jackjones138: pretty
Me: *slips a hand down your pants*
Me: oh santa, you're so big
Me: santa where is your reindeer
Me: santa? are you there?
jackjones138: sorry phone
Me: i'm losing interest...
jackjones138: i am now
jackjones138: ho ho ho
Me: oh god santa
jackjones138: ho ho ho
Me: where's rudolph santa
jackjones138: is your p***y wet/
jackjones138: wanna put my 8 inches in it
jackjones138: ho ho
Me: oh god santa yes, as soon as I see rudolph
jackjones138: ok
jackjones138: f**k me honey
jackjones138: sucking your nipples
jackjones138: ho
Me: santa, if i do this, will i be a bad girl this year?
jackjones138: no
jackjones138: f**k me
Me: i'm worried now...
jackjones138: ride me
jackjones138: ho
Me: you won't bring me coal will you?
jackjones138: no
Me: i have to go... I don't want to be bad
jackjones138: f**k m\e
jackjones138: why?
Me: please don't be angry santa

Blocked Santa. I never did get to see Rudolph.

Missy 8, Yahooers 0.

l.m.a.o.

Okay that one is just plainm hilarious.

Good job.

This is why I see women as the superior sex.

Women=order and contemplation, Men=irrational and quick to hump your leg

Runs off ashamed off how stupid we men are

No, not really running, being a guy is easy, case and point WE CAN BE SLOBS

ROFLMAO!!!!

You actually got that guy to keep typin "ho ho ho" as he was tryin to get ya to cyber?? Unbelievable! How desperate must ya be to strangle the python to go to that level??

Keep 'em comin, missy!

~bump~

ok... when it get's to the point when I have to deal with flirters this is rediculus(sp) so I have to play with him... *giggles* me vs. sandiegostud007

sandiegostud007: hi sexxy
werewolf3361: hello....
sandiegostud007: how ru doing?
sandiegostud007: what ru doing up so late
werewolf3361: it's not late.... and I'm fine.
sandiegostud007: so do you have more pics of yourself?
sandiegostud007: i was just looking at your pic in your profile..your cute
werewolf3361: 1st of all I'm not cute.... 2nd asl?
sandiegostud007: you are cute
sandiegostud007: im 18 m sd
sandiegostud007: so what ru in to?
werewolf3361: what ya mean? like what am i interested in?
sandiegostud007: ya
sandiegostud007: and what u like to do?
sandiegostud007: for fun
werewolf3361: I talk to ppl on here, I play my PS2, I read, i write, and on the rare occation i get invited to I hang out with my so called friends.
sandiegostud007: kool
sandiegostud007: are you a wild one or a nice one?
werewolf3361: what do you mean?
sandiegostud007: i see your bi
sandiegostud007: i like that...
sandiegostud007: how many girls have u been wiht?
werewolf3361: I've dated 2.
sandiegostud007: just dated..or more?
werewolf3361: just dated....
sandiegostud007: what about guys?
werewolf3361: I've dated 1 guy. just dated
sandiegostud007: really
sandiegostud007: so your still a virgin
werewolf3361: um... duh?
sandiegostud007: how far hvae u gone?
werewolf3361: I'm 14, I've had 3 significant others, each of which either was stupid becuase I was young and stupid or didn't last more then a month. I'm not pretty I've been to one dance in my entire life, and I sit at home on this computer listening to my loud music, spacing out and trying to forget the real world exists. how far do you think I've gone?
sandiegostud007: not far
sandiegostud007: well i think you are pretty
sandiegostud007: let me see more pics of yourlsef
werewolf3361: I don't have anymore on the computer or anything becuase I killed them all.
sandiegostud007: why
sandiegostud007: you look likeu have a nice body
werewolf3361: because they are pointless reminders that I really do exist... that is why I killed the,]
werewolf3361: **them
sandiegostud007: how tall ru?
sandiegostud007: well dou have a scaner or a digital camera
werewolf3361: no... and what does it matter how tall i am
werewolf3361: >
werewolf3361: ?
sandiegostud007: just curius
sandiegostud007: whyu dont wnat me to get to know u more?
werewolf3361: because I trust no one... ppl are stupid... you trust ppl you get hurt.. .trust no one and you don't. that simple
sandiegostud007: maby ths why your single
sandiegostud007: u hvae to trust some one
werewolf3361: I do.
werewolf3361: I trust myself
sandiegostud007: haha
sandiegostud007: so dou like kissing
werewolf3361: kissing. ha. kissing for me has been kissing the one bf i had and having him sit there looking stupid.
werewolf3361: that's my experience with kissing.
sandiegostud007: hvae u ever met anyone from internet
werewolf3361: no.... but I get to soon...
sandiegostud007: kool
sandiegostud007: so werein lakeside dou live
sandiegostud007: is it close to santee
werewolf3361: not really... I'm near El Cajon
sandiegostud007: koo
sandiegostud007: so how did u discove that your bi
werewolf3361: why do ppl always ask that? I figured it out when i noticed that I noticed girls and guys the same way.*shrugs*
sandiegostud007: so dou wnta to meet and hang outsometimes
werewolf3361: erm... no
sandiegostud007: why not
sandiegostud007: dou havea scanner?
werewolf3361: cause you're just like everyother guy on yahoo that IMs me asking me if I want to meet and hang out sometime.... you're all stupid... I dont like ppl... the only ppl I'm willing to meet with that I talk to online are my friends from one site. and that's it...... and no I don't have a scaner
sandiegostud007: why ru so cruoul
sandiegostud007: i just think your cute and think it would be kool to hang out
werewolf3361: and I just think you're another guy that's too pathetic to find a date in person. *smiles sweetly*
sandiegostud007: ru alwasy like this
werewolf3361: yep...
sandiegostud007: comeonl lets hang out someitme
sandiegostud007: su will see im kool
werewolf3361: you really are pathetic arn't you?

then he stoped talking to me.... *laughs* I think I got him... I win!

hehe...... such a good game!

How many times did he ask if you had a scanner?

I'm surprised he didn't ask if you had a nude webcam!

I know! I mean how pathetic is that? he asked me like 3-5 times.... it is a fun game though... very fun... *laughs*

I usually say poor guys, but this one is just a sex hound.

YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVEN'T IMED WITH ME YET
DO it its FUn.

i warn you against it. shes a horny f--k, and i pity any yahoo flirters that try to flirt with her

Watch your language. - Mod MissyA

[edit]sorry! that one slipped[/edit]

Warning noted, yet she is probably tamer than some of the horn dogs I know.

you obviously haven't imed with me yet.
do it to find out just how bad i am.

Don't do it, Sir Max.

She's worse. Just take my word for it and move along.

Trust me.

yes. and dont ask her about pics >_< baaad move. lucky me i didnt open them, but some other unfortunate souls did and are now scarred for life