Don't let it, dear. Usually 1-2 days isn't going to be very effective, but at the time I was having other mental issues as well. Heh, a few days a week I forget to take my morning meds and just take them in the afternoon.

I'm sorry that youv'e picked it back up again - but staying on your meds and seeing a couns - oh man, I can't spell it because you spelled it wrong and now my brain aahh... anyway, a good therapist WILL help. (Did I ever tell you my crazy therapist story?)

(Why are you always on when I'm not? I'll get you sometime. And remember, I can always be your ROLE MODEL. I haven't done myself any significant cutting damage since June 22. )

The fact that all of you have shared such a personal emotional thing with basically the entire web is amazing. I wish that I had this to come to when I started cutting 5 years ago. It seems to me that most of us cut because we need to let go of something inside of us, seeing something inside of us come out is what helps us. And a physical manifestation of our internal pain seems to be extremely freeing. There are other reasons too, but these seem to be common themes. I can't stand it when people just write off those who SI as "crazy" or "attention getters." It goes oh so much deeper than that. People need validation for emotion they are feeling, and when it seems that the whole world is crashing in on you, not many people can understand that. I have now cut only once or twice in the past 2 years. Things do get better guys! And next time anyone wants to cut, or hurt themselves in anyway, PLEASE post or just write, or scream, or SOMETHING to release your emotional burden whatever it may be. There are those who will listen, I most certainly will. As far as pulling ones own hair out, that is completely different than SI. Having done this too for longer than I can remember, I talked to a psychologist about it. It is called Trichtillomania (not quite sure of the spelling, but that's close), it is an impulse control disorder, kind of like OCD, but impulse instead of compulse. I've always gone for my eyelashes, but apparently according to my research, most people go for the hair on their head. If anyone knows more about that or wants to know what I have learned, please talk to me, I'd like to hear some thoughts, maybe I should start a new topic...

Ahoy. I went for the eyelashes, too.
I'd like to play the devil's advocate and just say that it's mostly a media thing. It's blown out of proportion for both parties, victims and observers alike. And I say that with empathy. I used to poke and pull and cut and stab too, but it's overrated.
More often than not, it's an act of self-pity and sympathy, and it's really quite immature.

[quote]It is called Trichtillomania (not quite sure of the spelling, but that's close), it is an impulse control disorder, kind of like OCD, but impulse instead of compulse. [/quote

My elder sister has that. I believe she has medication that counteracts it. Actually, she usually went for her eyebrows/eyelashes as well, and sometimes the hair on her head. She was upset because she envied all our eyelashes. Other than that, sadly I don't know much, but I can tell you loads about OCD!

I can totally understand why you're interested in the issue because just glancing at your poll breifly and some of the responses it has conjured has made me want a little more insight myself into why people do it.
I'd like especially to see if anyone checks the circle for self-mutilating in groups of friends as for me, this kind of cult-ish masochism isn't especially comprehendable.
I myself [thankfully] haven't need to vote.
Good thread though. *thumbs up*
XxX

Talking about Self Harm does not encourage it, disscussion can only help in a better understanding....and whilst it is a problem and destructive, the insidiouse thing is that it works....and that is the kicker....

It works, sure. Temporarily, and like alcohol, your body builds a tolerance for this. There's a point where it gets to be too much.

Um... I don't engage in any forms of self-mutilation... that counts as "other," doesn't it?

I'm afraid I don't have the capacity to understand why anyone would cut themselves. You could explain it a thousand times and I would still think it's just stupid.

I dont think that many would dissagree that self harm or injury is ultimatley self destructive and can lead to perminant disfiguement, scaring and many other problems...BUT.. and its a big but, for myself and ; I suspect; others it is a way of copping with unmanagable emotions that have no other visable or viable outlet...ultimatly it is a way of surviving, its not perfect but it works.

SI is destructive certainly, because of the way it fuels itself. You find release from something but the more you turn to it the more extensive it needs to be to get the same relief. I am doubtful that most who use SI as an outlet (I can only speak from my experience so if Im wrong apologies) enjoy the sensation of having it as the only safety valve that works, I know I don't.

In my experience finding places like this forum actually tend to help face and control the urges rather than encourage it. It was in fact the actions of a friend that helped me recognise that I needed to control things before I let them control me. I believe that everyone reaches that stage at some point and for everyone it is at a different place, I believe that places were you can share your feelings about it can help with recognising were you are at, before things become too dangerous. My friend didn't try to demand that I stopped he knew that, that couldn't acheive anything instead he gave me suggestions for ways of safely furthering my actions if I needed to.

I suppose some of you may take this as an approval or encouragement from him as I can't recreate the content or mood of the conversation for you to explain otherwise but it helped me to haul in and look at myself. I suppose he gave me the anchor I needed to feel safe enough to examine what I was doing and acknowledge that I might be able to do something.
It has been damn hard anyone even considering this will know you cant turn round overnight and say now it stops, because it becomes ingrained in who you are.

I find that whenever I feel any urge to start anything now it helps to come cruise around here for a while and it reminds me if others can be strong enough to resist, then I owe it to myself and them to try. Strangely I find it easier somehow knowing that Im not alone with it and there are others facing something that can and does make life a very frightening and lonely place even as it helps deal with pressures caused by said life. I may not personally know anyone but it makes no difference, you are all here and likewise I am here. The support exists for when it is needed.

Without intending any offence I would like to add that ultimately it is the opinion of the individual viewing this that defines whether they see it as encouragement or not. I have never yet come across someone with the attitude 'Yeah, Go on do it!' I pray I never will.
I hope this wording gets across what I mean properly, I know it is long winded but it gets it out of my head and into view at least. I know it is only personal opinion but hey that's what we are here for isnt it?
Once again I apologise for my excessive wordiness (its a good job I tend to read not post)

I said I did it to deal with emotional pain- to be honest it just kinda happened. I sat there on the toilet seat and cut til i bled all ova the floor. I haven't done it in months- thankfully. One of my closest friends does it and I try to help b/c i've been there, but I know that I can't really do anything unless she wants me to help her. My best friend committed suicide, i miss him every day that he hasn't been here, that is the reason that I made myself stop. I hated him for leaving me, i thort it was such a selfish act. I realised i neva wanted to hurt ppl who loved me as much as he had hurt me. Now, i realise he wasn't being selfish and he didnt mean to hurt me, but ther r other ways to deal with things. I miss him and I worry for my other friend. I worry for all of u. I worry that I mite start again. i won't tell u to stop- that won't help, I'll just say talk to someone, even if it is on a msg board like this. Just remember: smile, and the world smiles with you. (it's lame, but u no, it's kinda true!)

I'm quite anemic, so if i kept at it, i'd pass out...

Anyway, my current boyfriend keeps cutting himself whenever we get into an argument.
I told him to stop...but every time i don't do something perfectly, he does it to, i guess, punish me.
"Stop that...When you do that to yourself, it is an offense to me, because my job as your girlfriend is to keep you happy. When you cut yourself, it means i failed my job...so stop that right now!"

Every time it's happened since then, I slap him.

Wow, a whole tribe of self-harmers... I'd have never guessed. Weird. I used to cut and before that I would pull handfulls of hair out of my head to get attention and freak people out. I guess I never thought about "why"... It just felt like what I wanted to do at the time. Exploration and all that. How much pain can I take? It the teacher going to flip when they see all this blood? It was more interesting than reading about protons.

i used to hit things when i got angry (i wont go into detail because its none of you bussiness so dont ask)i used to hit the closest thing over and over till i couldnt feel my hands, i found the crippling pain took my mind off whatever p***ed me off. but i stopped when i put my hand thru a window and needed 37 stiches and broke 7 bones in my hand.

It gets to a point where you can't control it anymore...he's not trying to punish you, I bet, or himself. and there are times no one can get you to stop. It's like the same thing that happens with a dependency with drugs. I knew I had a dependency and had to stop when I could not truthfully promise my best friend, whom I had accidentaly slipped my secret to, that I wouldn't do it again.

A 'cure' someone I know used to stop a firend cutting.

Everytime A cut herself or turned up to uni with a new bandage B would get a scalpel blade and making sure A was watching cut her own skin - but a tiny bit deeper.

Within 2 weeks A couldn't stand to see the pain and harm she was causing B and stopped, cause A realised that cutting didn't make the pain go away, and in fact caused more pain as it hurt her friend.

Rather a drastic measure I know but one that worked in this instance as A was shown in a very very real way that cutting doesn't work and that the pain it causes those round you that you care about and who care about you is bad, as bad as the cuts you make.

Something to think about for any self harmer next time you pick up a razor - think 'who else am I hurting'

a bit extreme. i can see that it'd work - i try not to at the moment cos i can't bear the thought of my boyfriend knowing, and the look on his face because i know he hates even the thought of me doing these things. in the past i've stopped for a while because it was really bothering a friend who'd found out. but it rarely lasts.

[QUOTE]A 'cure' someone I know used to stop a firend cutting.

Everytime A cut herself or turned up to uni with a new bandage B would get a scalpel blade and making sure A was watching cut her own skin - but a tiny bit deeper.

Within 2 weeks A couldn't stand to see the pain and harm she was causing B and stopped, cause A realised that cutting didn't make the pain go away, and in fact caused more pain as it hurt her friend.

Rather a drastic measure I know but one that worked in this instance as A was shown in a very very real way that cutting doesn't work and that the pain it causes those round you that you care about and who care about you is bad, as bad as the cuts you make.

Something to think about for any self harmer next time you pick up a razor - think 'who else am I hurting'


Gee what a fabulous idea. somone isn't having enough emotional problems lets make them feel guilty about the way they deal with them.

While most people cut, I burn. Ever since the first time I felt fire on me, I knew that I enjoyed the feeling. When my stresses mixed with my depressions were at their peak, I even used an oxyacetylene welding torch on both of my hands. Someone saw me do it at school and rather than telling the teachers, told the students in my class. After that, I could relieve the depression AND make a profit (I asked for $1 a head who was watching). To this day I have no sense of tactile heat sense in my palms and palm sides of my fingers, and barely any tactile sense at all in them anymore really. If I need to test how hot something is, I turn my hand over and feel.

Now that I am older, I do not burn myself with fire (at least not NEARLY as often). When stress kicks up, I turn up the hot water in the shower and scald myself from head to toe. When I am at work, I will put my hands in the 470F (244C) oven if things start to go wrong, or if there is no time, I will put my hands on the hot sides for a couple of seconds. If I have to do it more than a couple of times, I put my butt on it, or my face if really needed. The rush of power I feel is immense, and it really does help melt the pressure away for a bit.

I'm strange, deal with it.

i remember this thread as well. hehe. a year ago i used to do it, but i stopped about half a year ago and have been able to control myself since. *huggles everyone in this thread as well*

but, to be honest sometimes i still feel like doing it, really badly, just to release. but.. it's not that smart. :\ my friend is clinically depressed and doesn't even know it, she says she rubs her skins off until it's scabbed just because it's "so soft it's just asking to be rubbed off"... ._.

I know what you mean. I've stopped physically hurting myself, mainly due to the antidepressants that I'm on.... they make me happier, but the urge is still there. I just want to cut myself...Does it ever go away?

Yes, let's do. Why? Because what they are doing is selfish. When a person (willingly) puts his or her life in extreme risk, then he or she is being selfish because if he or she dies then the people who used to care about him or her will be hurt. It's the same thing, and I've often thought of that very solution as a way of preventing my girlfriend from ever self-mutilating again. She stopped because she promised me (I had to call in the middle of "losing my mind crying fits" a couple of times before she got the point) she would. Think of this--what if a stranger put a gun to your friend's head and started pulling on the trigger harder and harder, yet not firing the gun. Would you consider the stranger to be selfish or just in need of help? It's the same thing with self-mutilators, except they're the ones with the gun. They are fooling around with something that is highly valuable to other people without a thought or concern about how it will affect those people. Nothing is accomplished or achieved through self-mutilation, and much is lost.
So yes, feel guilty. Self-mutilators are guilty. If you've got emotional problems, go ahead, tell the world! Nobody has a problem with being supportive to people who are hurting. I know I wouldn't. However, nobody wants to deal with somebody who is being a selfish fool. So choose how you want to be treated--if you want help, then stop running away from it. Everybody knows self-mutilation is pointless. It's a joke.

Why doesn't the thought of, "How would I feel if somebody I care about willingly removed him/herself from my life?" ever cross through you peoples' heads? Are you ignoring that this is exactly what you're trying to do, or do you seriously not care? I don't get it. If you care about these people, why are you doing things that you know have a huge chance of making it to where you will never see them again?

Ouch.
First of all, self-mutilation is most oftentimes a coping skill to deal with painful feelings of sadness. This may be the only way they know how to cope, or can. It's not as selfish as it might seem. If the person is suffering from a mental disease especially. They are not being a "selfish fool" as much as trying to cope with pain they don't know how to deal with. People with mental diseases or even people without them also have thoughts that other people do not care about them and people would be better off without them. Perhaps what they are dealing with is so extreme they can't factor in other people's feelings. Just because something harms you does not mean that the self-mutilater is guilty. They do need help - but not approaching help is very common for a multitude of reasons - one being that if your'e keeping it a secret, telling someone and getting help might hurt other people because they know now what you've been doing to yourself. To the self-mutilater, the action is not pointless. They believe it helps them when it is hurting them.

Gothic is pretty much right on the money here. I suffer from extreme chronic depression. When I am depressed, not only do I walk away from people who care about me, but those who supposedly care about me walk away so they don't have to deal with it. In my eyes, it's my life, and if nobody else wants to help me build it up better, then I won't wait around for that help; I will fix it the only way I know how. If I died tomorrow, my family would grieve for a relatively short time, my friends would mostly not even realize I was gone (I have few that I keep in contact with, and even those know that I am prone to disappearing for extended lengths). It truely is my life, and excuse me for being selfish, but I feel that it's my right to do with it as I please. Nobody would lock you up in a mental hospital for knocking down a wall in your house to make it more appealing for you, so why should you lock me up for hiding in a dark corner hurting myself for the same reason? It's 2 sides of the same issue: selfishness. Society has come to accept some forms of selfishness as the norm, while all others completely taboo. I know hurting myself is wrong, but is it any better than giving up and killing myself out right? One has some helpful properties while the other has final consequences. Either way, the ultimate decision should go to those who have the ultimate price to pay. If people would show alternatives, I'm sure a lot of people would find help from other sources.

you know something, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I know it helped one person on some occasions, but I guess in the end its just a small reminder of how much you dislike yourself. does that make any sense? I'm sure it doesn't. :wacko:

Dear lord, I remember this thread from ages ago

Well, seeing as I'm slightly more articulate and less emo than I was a couple of years ago - I keep being told self mutilation and self harm are a form of release, and that must have been why I did it. I find this a little confusing - it's close to the truth, but not right on the mark.

To use a completely inappropriate analogy - have you seen those adverts for fabric/air fresheners where its says "the competition's product covers up the bad odours - our product gets rid of them!"? It's a little like that. Self mutilation and self harm cover up the problems - they make you not have to think of them for a few blessed hours. You know they won't get rid of them forever, but it covers it up just long enough for you to not bother about them anymore. I've never taken drugs, so can't speak from experience, but I would imagine there are similar principles involved in drug addiction.

I suppose you're right.

Other - it gives me a feeling (albeit an illusion) of control.

ok, im sorry, but i really find this thread pointless.
self inflicted harm for any other reasons besides mental illness or religous practice, is just plain dumb.
i cannot see how "cutting" helps with emotion.
saying you just do it because you do doesnt make sense either, theres gotta be a reason.


i dont meen to sound like a jerk, but things just get ot me.

Unwise probably, not the best way to deal with things, definately. Dumb or pointless, no. I've never physically self harmed, but I have done weird detremental things as coping mechanisms.

It's release, it's distraction, it's sensation, it's action, and it can I suppose be a short satisfying feeling I guess, at least that's my take on things.

I find it odd that you'd count religious practice as a valid reason to self harm over a poor choice of methods to cope.
It's a flawed way of dealing with issues. Nothing more nothing less, but it's not stupid nor pointless.

We all know my thoughts on self mutilation. I'll let that be for now.

Anyway, if you are going for something like that, then go for alterations. Tattoos and piercings are much better and healthier ways to cope, methinks. Hell, if you want a really healthy dose of pain, just work out. It hurts, and it's good for you.

self inflicted harm such as Islam people fast for ( i dont remember how long). they do it because its part of there culture, and if they didnt do it, they wouldn't be that releigion anymore.

the only way i could see if it gives you pleasure, if you have your nerves wired wrong, (which i do but is completely different and off topic).

Well, no.

Medically it does give you a sense of pleasure, so to speak. When the brain is under pain/stress, it releases chemicals such as serotonin and dopamine which help the body cope. It's the same as an adrenaline rush after working out or being nervous. It's the body's way of dealing with the stress it's enduring.

And I'm not even going to address religious practices as a type of self harm because it would take far too long to type it all out here.

Ooh! Ooh! I will.

TV_with_legs:

When I first saw your post, I thought you were referring to some sort of Opus-Deiian Da Vinci Code misinformation, so it is interesting to me that you would bring up Ramadan. If it's all right, I'd like to clear up a few things about the practice.

When a Muslim fasts for Ramadan, they do so from sunrise to sunset as a way of cleansing the body. Some Muslims will also fast in recognition of times when there is no food. The reason one fasts can vary depending on the level of orthodoxy and also the type of person, but the goal is a higher level of conciousness of the deity by avoiding all distractions.

Biggest thing to remember? It is not considered by Muslims (or myself, for that matter) as self-harm. Fasting (which covers food, sex and angry impulses) is not a punishment. It is a way to get closer to the deity and a manner of purification. In fact, I think the average Muslim would grow very upset at the idea of fasting as punishment.

Bear in mind as well that Ramadan typically falls during November/December, so a Muslim above the Equator does not have to fast very long.

If a person does not fast, they are not kicked out of the religion. Depending on the reason for not participating, (for example, pregnant women and children are not asked to fast) a person might consult an imam or continue as usual. Again, this has to do with level of orthodoxy. Also, if a person forgets to fast, they don't have to worry about any divine retribution, according to the Muslim Holy Book (Qu'aran). Only intentional slip-ups, according to the book, ought to be made up for by an extra day of fasting. Considerably kinder than the Christian tradition of Lent, which falls in March/April and is very similar.


It's interesting to me that you disqualify all reasons for cutting except mental illness and religion, but then insist that there has to be a reason for self-harm. This thread is full of people who are not mentally ill and do not self-harm as a religious devotion: are their reasons invalid?

Without meaning to start a flame war here, some things "just get to" me, too. One of them is being narrow minded about other people's behaviours. If you veiw selfharm that way, more power to you - it's probably a good thing overall that you won't feel the need/complusion/desire to physically damage yourself in a time of crisis. However, as trunks_girl, and many others throughout this thread have pointed out, others do, and there are genuine reasons for it which fall outside the narrow boundries of "religion and mental illness".

Refusing to tolerate or attempt to understand the reasons behind it will only encourage those who do it to do it worse, as you increase the feelings which fuel the compulsion in many cases. Often it is precisely that attitude which worsens the problem.

You are, of course, fully entitled to your opinion But a person who cares about the issue, as you obviously do, should find it worth considering that they aren't helping it any by belittling the cause.

I don’t believe that it was meant as a belittlement, although that may have been how it sounded. I have stopped at this point, not long ago; I was cutting with paperclips and safety pins. It wasn’t as if I felt that I needed to kill myself, instead I found that this was a form of release that could be used without people knowing about. The only factual information I can give about this, is that cutting releases endorphins, which dull pain. This is not meant to condone, yet it seems to be the only good reason I can give when asked why. The reason being it helped the pain. In those few moments, it was as if there wasn't any reason to be upset, and that is the reason it would happen more often as time passed. I know and have known many people who did, and still do this. This was the reason that they gave me, and the reason I see as most fit for an answer. This may seem selfish to some, but for others it's a way to keep themselves from feeling as if they is nothing left to do.

I take that back. After all these years, I no longer get the urge to cut myself or drink. I'm still a flaming bipolar on the same meds when I wrote my earlier post. So if you're a cutter, there is hope.

I would have been cutting so much... But i don't have anything to cut myself with! So this has been helping me to ease my urges... But it's not like I don't want to sometimes! Also, a LOT of people do it for attention... even if they don't realize it (I'm not accusing anyone of doing it for attention mind you) Just saying.

i'm actually happy to say that since my lone, odd sounding post in this thread, i've more or less quit doing any of that save for a relapse a couple of months ago. having rapid-cycling bipolar disorder can make some months more dangerous than others, but i've learned that there are other outlets for emotional issues and that it can also make nudity very tricky to explain sometimes - especially if whoever you happen to be naked in front of doesn't know that you've ever had problems with it. if anything, anyone who does cut to use it as an outlet for pain right now, just try and consider another way.