Wedding rollcall get your hairy feet in here and tell me if you are here.

Priestest - check

Gay hobbit-groom #1 Check.

Random hobbit lusting after Legolas - check.

How quickly people descended upon this thread.

Goodness.

The Bride is here.


(that's me, by the way)

Dwarf in pink spangly tights with bulbous falsies, ready to cry at will and begin the orgy when ready!

So Aries, dahling, tell us all - in explicit detail- what that hot bod of yours is wearing!

Heterosexual, hairless Ring bearer - check

/me runs up to Cand, dresses her up like Arwen and drags her backstage to get ready

Insta-Bridesmaid!

Rawr!

I'm still gonna lust after Legolas though.

And now after myself as well....hehe.

*looks at self in mirror*...how YOU doin'?

Dresses up in best hobbit suit and looks to Peter Jackson to do some fancy-schmancy special effects to make me look short.

I'm here. Sort of. Keep me in close proximity to a trashcan or toilet, I'm still very much ill.

*sets herself up in the back*

CandICE, you can play with the rubber chicken AFTER the ceremony. In the meantime, can we PLEASE just focus on the task at hand?

And lusting after Legolas...way to keep with story continuity there, girl.

We need a Legolas in here. *calls to Cheese* Get in here and be Legolas and my best man, damn it!

*Puts on the ring and disappears* MWaahaahaaahaa

*Runs around the room goosing people*

Did we explain that it's a *cock* ring, dearie?

legolas here....

Aries please walk down the isle and tell me when you're at the altar.

Followed by whomever else is walking. And don't forget to say friend and enter!

Lusts after Legolas!

Stands at the altar, waiting patiently.

I dont think he cares. But we're going to need that for the honeymoon, Irish, so I hope you return it....CLEANED.....to us when you're done with it.

So, question: are we all going to be present when the ---clears throat-- "ring" gets put on?

Eeeww eeww eeeww eeewww *takes off the ring and borrows one of Missy's trashcans*


You guys need mental help. You're perfect for each other.

But of course, dear Artemesia!

We are gathered here today to witness the union of these two hobbits in the sanctity of holy matrimony. If there are any objections speak now and I will banish you with my long staff, and not in a good way. I will also delete your post.

/me walks down the aisle, Galadriel style, with a procession of Lothlorien elves (ignore bad spellings here people)


/me walks up the aisle and the procession parts to stand behind me when I reach the alter, looking deeply into the eyes of the Song of Tiger. CandICE is standing behind me, lusting after the Best Man. I turn around, kick her in the shin, turn back around, smile really big and we continue......

Is that a LONG HARD THROBBING magic staff?

I'm at the altar too, as a best dwarf, slapping Tiger on the ass and winking in the bride's direction and telling him what a lucky dog he is!

**waves staff** puts my last post after aries' most recent post.

We are gathered here today to witness the union of these two hobbits in the sanctity of holy matrimony. If there are any objections speak now and I will banish you with my long staff, and not in a good way. I will also delete your post.

I'm just standing there, stunned, lusting after Legolas, but mostly after my deareat Aries. *sighs*

/me runs up to Tiger, bitch slaps him for lookin at Legolas, shoots LegoMan a dirty look, and back to my spot

Ok no objections we shall proceed.

Tiger do you take Aries to be your lawfully wedded e-hobbit, to have and to hold, through sickness and in health, as long as you both have hair on your feet?

I do. As long as he promises to be my f*ck buddy.

Can I be.. Um... Gay Smeagol(sp)?

Go ahead!

That *KIND* of goes with the territory darling.

And do you Aries take Tiger to be your lawfully wedded e-husband to have and to hold through sickness and in health as long as you both shall frolick in the shire whipping eachother madly with whips made from real dragon tail and singing, "I'm too sexy"?

Och, this is so beautiful (insert Scottish accent)...I need me hanky...don't tell the elf!

*is visibly growing a staff nearly as large as Gandalf's*

I do, as long as he tries to not be TOO Canadian in my presence.

Irish the ring please.

*Hides under a pew and cries to himself, all while vigorously cleaning his hands*

*Tosses out the ring with a stick* Here!

And remember, my dear Aries, the ring must be, according to Hobbit tradition, placed by the mouth.

Legolas here. sorry I'm late. saving the world and doing my hair. Not nessecarily in that order.

I must've missed that. Well.....I want to wear the ring first!

Egads! Two Legolas's to lust after!

Yes, and placed on in front of as many witnesses as possible, wink wink, to make it all hot...I mean..official

Aries take this ring and place it on Tigers cock and repeat after me.

One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them with velcro!

another legolas? we should go to the closet...

Oh, but Art, although it must be done in sight of all, it's done tastefully and discretely. Ie. behind a cloth and such.

Hey, I'm out of the closet!

*gets down on his knees with the ring in his mouth.....approaches the Growing Tigersong Staff*


One cock ring to rule them all, one cock ring to find them, one cock ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them with velcro!



*lips pass onto his thingy thingy and he places the ring there.....but not before adjusting it a few times....going forwards and backwards trying to find the perfect spot*


.....I'm soooooo going to hell for that comment

so am i... lets go back in it now...