ok...you guys never let me down before, and i really need you all today *pleads with eyes*
ok. from the beginning, i have an ex called jonny that never stopped liking me completely. wasn't a problem until september, when a few of you might remember i split up with my ex rich for the first time.
now, he was nice about it, and a night out in the same group led to a chat and an agreement to see each other a couple of times. in short, i decided i didn't like him, i'd got myself wrong, and i barely managed to scrape my way out of it all, before getting back with rich
now, i decided about a week ago that i liked him, and wanted something to properly happen (or at least, i thought i did) so i engineered opportunity and voila. i pulled. but, you can guess what i'm going to say...no, i don't actually like him enough to go out with him. or even let anything happen again, i don't think
a few reasons why he hasn't helped this: he told me he loves me, has done for ages. that he'd dedicate the star he has for his late father to me instead. that he never wants to let me go. the next morning, that he meant it all and he still wanted me back.
my brain's internal response: ARRRRRRRRGH
a few of my friends know the state of my brain, and i've avoided him quite well so far since. i just don't know what to do, i feel very...uh, bad, for doing this (there aren't polite words to describe me. i constantly hurt people. and feel like a pile of...uh, bad stuff, for being such a scheming manipulative...uh, bad person)
apart from needing to vent that, i could do with some advice from all the different points of view covered by people here...even if it's just a pm or something saying "rarr you horrid girl, sort it"
thanks guys xxx