With all the stuff on matasturbation etc, i'm left wondering, when is the right age to lose it?

Have fun!

Smee!

Excuse the typo
I ment when did you lose your virginity?

*Cringe* I have to say that the 8-10-year-old category freaked me out slightly. Losing one's viginity that young can't be healthy or entirely devoid of some kind of abuse...

It happens unfortunately. It happened to this one chick I know. (shudder)

I lost it on my eighteenth birthday to my best friend. I am blessed with the opportunity to say that I lost it to a woman I'll love for the rest of my life.

Still a virgin, don't plan on losing it for a chunk of years to come . I'm not against premarital sex, but I don't want to make rash decisions or have to deal with consequences I'd really rather not.

I'm a hopeless romantic, and I am going to try (keyword here: try) to save it as long as I can, until I am absolutely sure and ready. There will only be a few in my life that I could give it to and not regret, and this is a pretty big thing for me. I'm content with waiting, for now.

I'm not quite as luck in this area....

Then again some freaky stuff has happened the past week and I'm not quite sure what to think

sorry if I'm leaving ppl confused and bewildered....

I know people that I wouldn't mind having sex with, but it's all sort of meh. I'm not in a relationship, and I don't see the point of casual sex, so I guess I'll keep it a while longer.

Oh, I know.

Still a virgin, honestly. I don't have a problem with premarital sex... I have friends that are very sexually active and it doesn't bother me. But they've all found someone that they felt was right. There aren't even candidates in my life at the moment. Perhaps that's because I'm antisocial and don't meet people. Yeah, that might be it... ha...

I'm still a virgin, but several of my friends aren't. I'm not too bothered by most of it, because they have lost it to someone in a long-term commitment, etc. etc., used safety and all that jazz...but some of my friends almost see it like a game. I just think it's sad. It's something to get rid of quickly, like it's a burden for them. I'm sort of in a weird place on the issue of "How Young Is Too Young" because it depends on the person more than the age. Some 18-year-olds have the immaturity of a 13-year-old, while some 14-year-olds are going on 30, you know? Personally I think waiting until after high school is a very good idea, but that's just me.

Still a virgin and I don't plan on losing it until I am married.

Like I said in the other thread about this, I'd feel trashy if I lost it before hand.

I think that way too much emphasis is put on the hymen or the rupturing of the hymen. Some people may have lost their virginity when they were very young but hadn't done it on purpose or had it forced upon them. It's the whole emphasis in our culture (though admittedly it's worse in some other cultures) on virginity or lack thereof and all of the things that are carried with virginity that make these people feel more ashamed than they should. There are all sorts of implications that are carried with being a virgin. You're pure, innocent, inexperienced, childlike etc. etc. etc. Once you lose your virginity *especially* when it happens when you're young you're somehow older, suddenly sexualized (as if anyone wasn't before) and to put it crudely a more traditional person would think you're a slut or a whore.





I'm sure I could find more quotes in this thread if there had been more people posting in it, but those two just seem to prove the value that people put on something very arbitray.

My quote wasn't arbitrary. I said that because it is how I feel. When I stated that 'I'd feel trashy,' I was not thinking or emphasizing the 'rupturing of the hymen.' I was basically saying that I'd feel like I've done something horribly wrong if I did it before marriage.

I don't view other people who have lost it as a slut or whore, because other people have different morals than I do; not everyone believes the same thing. I think you generalized what I said a little bit.

Lots of virgins on here, join the club all.

I have no problem with people who lose it early, it's natural so as long as you're smart about it, oh well.

I haven't but that's because I'm only young, many years to come...

I lost mine at 17 to the man I love and whom I will cherish forever. I think I picked wisely

I'm glad to see a lot of people here talking about waiting to lose it. I highly advise waiting for the right time, preferably when you're older and more able to truely appreciate and understand sex. I'm not against premarital sex either, but I still think it's sacred and should be taken seriously.

And as I've said before, if you want to have any sex that could be construed as casual, I suggest you find a friend with whom you're very close where it won't mess up a relationship. I don't agree with having "f*ck buddies" per se, but if you have a very, very dear, close friend that you can have sex with, by all means go for it.

At the risk of riling people, I disagree with you here. I'm not sure that you can ever sleep with a close friend and just keep it that way. You're feelings for a mate are deep anyway - the divide between friendship and lover could become blurred very easily I think. On that tack, if you want to keep it casual or one off I feel that you'd be better off with someone you didn't know that well.

However, I've had more one night stands that I care to remember and I remember every one of them fondly - and every single one I could have handled taking it further into a relationship. I don't think I've ever slept with anyone without thinking 'What if...'

personally, i dont suggest premarital sex, i recommend it

Heh. Very nice, Joe.


I can't have sex with someone I don't love. I tried it before; it just leaves me feeling empty inside. I feel very lucky to have friends that I'm close to that I can sleep with. They're people I know I'll love for the rest of my life. Relationships, for me at least, are where it gets difficult. I'm not much for "right" or "wrong" times and I feel weird knowing that should things go sour, it'll just be another notch on my belt and I hate that. Spiffy is the only one that I find to be different among these and I'm very thankful for it. Don't ask me why it's different; it just is.

I don't really believe 'virginity' in itself means anything. One sexual act does not make the man/woman, I think the virgin status is more a state of being. For some sex is a good time, others its a gesture of ultimate commitment. Virgins are simply the latter, and haven't found that right person yet.

I would like to think that one could still be a virgin after being raped/molested (even consentual sex), but unfortunetly society doesn't always agree. :/

Nowt wrong with casual sex, when done the right way .

And I'm not talking about safe sex, that goes without saying. Anyone who doesn't wear a wiener-raincoat (or insist that one is worn) is an idiot, pure and simple.

I mean that casual sex is all well and good as long as both parties are viewing it as casual. Gets waaaay too messy otherwise. Personally, I wish I'd had more of it while I was a youngster *waves walking stick*

But there again, if you want to wait until it's 'right', more power to you. Do whatever makes you happy, that's the most important thing. My only concern for you folk is that I can't help feeling that it may not be all that you hope it will be when you get around to it. Sex is sex. It's not a life-changing spiritual awakening. It is on the other hand, the most fun you can have for free with someone you care about and respect.

I agree. Virginity shouldn't just be about the physical act.

I lost my virginity when I was 18 so I ticked the 17-18 box as I felt the 18-25 box was too old for me. If that make sense?

I lost it on a boat on the Norfolk Broads with my boyfriend at the time Dan. We'd been together for about 7 months and we both felt ready. It wasn't particularly orgasmic but it was special and I will always remember it. I wanted it to be like that and it was so I'm glad. I've never regretted it

I don't do one night stands or flings involving sex (usually). The only fling I ever had was with Ed and spookily enough I'm now with him 5 years later Sex to me is way to initimate to just sleep with any old person. I have to know them and care about them/love them before I can do that. It's the ultimate closeness for me. I know it isn't the same with anyone and it would be kinda cool to be able to have one night stands. Ya' know if I was single and frustrated and didn't want a bloke. Then again that's what vibrators are for!

Isn't the coil 100% effective? Maybe I'm thinking of something else...

No, it is not. Just a side note on coils -- they are extremely bad, dangerous stuff. They can perforate the lining of your uterus. Not fun. It's fairly rare that it happens, I think...but still. Yikes.

The only things that are 100% effective against pregnancy are hysterectomies and abstinence. I know 2 girls who were born after their father had a vasectomy. And well, there are obviously other things to protect against other than pregnancy....and nothing is 100% effective against STDs.

I sound like an after-school special.

Meanwhile, I honestly suggest pre-marital sex as well. I respect that some people want to wait...but if I had it to do over again I'd do it the same and not wait. I mean, what if you aren't sexually compatible? That'd be an awful thing to find out *after* the marriage vows. But I realize that some people have various moral/religious reasons for wanting to wait. I just would never wait to find something like that out until after the wedding, personally.

I was born after a vascetamy. Not the best of compliments "we didn't plan on having you, infact we tried to prevent it."

I find I'm 100% affective, can't get pregnant if you're running away in disgust.

Abstinence is being hammered into our heads by the school board. When I took all my lessons from the school board, I thought, "Well, I'll at least have to seem him naked before we get married."

The way I've been instructed (not too different from that one episode of 'South Park') I am VERY paranoid. The last thing I want to do is become pregnant, so casual sex might not work for me. Premarital, though, I believe in. Then again, it would really depend.

I guess you could argue however that if they loved each other enough they would always be "sexually compatible" however you interpret the phrase. And if they weren't they'd work at it. I know I would!

Having said that my personal preference was not to wait. I was going to when I was young and a lot more niave than I am now I also thought I'd marry someone before living with them. SOOOOO glad I didn't do that!

rock on virgins!

I think I posted about this in another virginity thread. I was 16. I was drunk, horny, went to bed with some guy, it happened. I have no regrets. I never had much regard for sex due to personal reasons. I always thought of it as disgusting way of people using each other to make themselves feel better.

People that wait 'till marriage must either be very sexually repressed or masturbate alot. I respect people that choose to do so, but I think marriage is pointless. What difference does a ring and an official piece of paper make to a relationship.

All I've ever had was casual sex but I am over it and am now waiting until I find someone I love and am in a relationship.

*could be waiting forever*

Well, for starters, you can decide what happens to them if they're in some horrible accident and end up on life support.

And tax breaks. But the whole deciding what happens to them and even just being able to SEE them when they're in critical condition in the hospital means more than tax breaks to me.

I don't really want to get married. I do not think I would need a ceremony to bring my partner and I together. Eh...then it starts getting complicated. If they're in a horrible accident...we'll write our living wills together. Hmm...hey...are you allowed to have a living will (that doctors will honor) if you're a minor?

Marriage works for horrible accidents but in relation to when to have sex, I don't think marriage matters... unless during sex you have a horrible accident.

As far as I know u can be any age to have a will. I'm 18 and considered having one but there isnt anyone I know and like, that deserves or would appreciate my stuff.

Needed that, thanks.

Yeah, but if, say, I got in a horrible accident, would I be able to decide what would happen to me if I were comatose by saying what I wanted to happen beforehand?

I think, being a minor, that would be up to your parents to decide. If your really worried about it, you should discuss with them what you want to happen.

i was 14, and i didnt want to do it, but it happened. young, blind, and nieve... truly my biggest mistake ever.

Still haven't lost mine. I've had thoughts about it, but I certainly don't want to take the risk. And I'm only 13. I have a long time ahead of me to try it.

I'm still a virgin too...thank god--(all the guys in Arizona I know are not good people to lose it too)--I'm only 14 myself...but I think people should practice what you preach-don't preach 'No sex before you're hitched' and then go and screw your best friends older brother...it bugs me because a lot of people out here do that.
Personally, if I feel that if you're going to have sex before you're hitched, atleast do it with someone you trust. Like a good friend--because you'll always have them to love--(unless you have some shallow sick friends)--not some boyfriend that'll dump you right after a raunchy game of pins 'n holes...>.>;;

I was 17 and felt no pressure to loose it at all by peers or anyone else for that matter. Being completely ready mentally and physically and I enjoyed it very much, I felt confident and not nervous at all because I was sure what I was doing I was ready for. It helped my partner (still to this day ) was totally understanding which I am sure helped the situation.

Whatever its made out to be.. It isn't something anyone should worry about losing!