as maybe one of you noticed i've been gone for a little while now and i have returned. Well reason being i haven't talked on here much is because hardly anyone knows me here(unless your from Ky/Tn) and i'm going threw a lot of problems right now. But i figured this is the best place for me to vent them because 99.9% of you are very kind and understanding and don't force your opinions onto anyone, which is great. So here goes.

My dad has PTSD, depression, insanity, esophogus(sp?) spasms, flat feet, constant pain in joints, muscles, and such.. and many more problems because of Desert Storm/chemicals they used. Recent tests show that those exposed to the chemicals their DNA has been altered.. that is why Doctors have no idea what is wrong with them

Well for about 4+ years now he hasn't been able to deal with it and how he expressed his anger was uncontroled and unrational. He would get mad at the littlest things like dropping a pen.. and i'm not like a frustrated mad, i mean punch a hole in the wall mad. But he couldn't help himself. So my dad would get mad at me, my mom and my brother(no as much my brother because he moved out for his g/f) for the dumbest things and it caused a lot of problems, problems to where both me and my mom where afraid of my dad. We didn't know what will happen and always walking on tip toes around him. Just to give you an example of what i mean is..
(what i am about to say will get people pissed.. don't judge my dad like i said.. he had no control)
He and my mom where arguing.. well.. yelling at each other all day, and all night.. i stayed in my room trying to ignore it and then went to bed when i thought everything was fine. Well later i found it wasn't. My mom and dad argued more.. with violence, because my dad lost control and lashed out in a very bad way, a way he would NEVER do.. he hit my mom.(lets calm for a few seconds) Yeah it was bad.. but there is more. After that he felt bad.. so he took his shotgun(which is no longer in the house) and walked out to the barn and held it to himself ready to fire, but out of anger he threw the gun down and it let off a shot(scared my mom.. i was still asleep) That was the major turning point of our "happy" family. From then on my mom was scared of my dad and there was no trust. You see my mom had a bad childhood, her father was an abusive drunk(thats all i will say). And my dad hitting her brought up everythin she went threw back and it was pretty. Well my dad went threw tons of tests and different kinds of medicine, my mom left once to go to her sisters but came back and everything started to come back together, My dad found a great medicine that is helping him control himself and gets rid of the pain he had(it was so bad he would hammer for 5 mins and have to drop the hammer out of pain.. and sometimes he couldn't get out of bed sometimes) My parents started getting along more and things seemed good. Well i was wrong, out of the blue my mom left, packed her bags and went to her friends(that was like 3 weeks ago) and right now its tearing up me and my dad. We are having serious money problems because my mom was the main paycheck while my dad worked on his business(which he does for fun because he is retired vet) and now my college is in jepordy if my mom doesn't come back. If she doesn't come back, we may loose our house, car/truck everything because we can't afford it. Also i'm a senior this year and almost graduating and off to college right? Well its a good chance where i wont be able to go beacuse my dad may need to use the money we have for saving stuff we can. What about scholarships? Well i can't get any because i missed the deadline because i had to take my ACT late(october and december tests i was goin threw surgery or had the flu so i had to miss it and the next test was past the deadlines) So thats out of the picture. So if i can't go to college i WILL join the military there is no questioning that, but the thing is i'll have to wait and see if i can join when i get my metal bar taken out of my chest.. and thats not till like october. And by then it may be to late for a lot of things. Right now i'm depressed again, pissed at the world, and have to go to counsoling for all of this. I don't know what to do.. i'm to the point where i want to give up, but if i do i'll let down so many people that care for me. ~sigh~ sorry for makin you read so much, i just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for your time, and if you dont read it.. perfectly understandable because it is long...anyway.. carry on.

I don't think you should join the military man, made your dad sickn in the first place. Your mother sounds like she needs some time away, even if things are ok now it souds as if the past has caused a stressful environment. Even if she doesn't come back, there are better ways of having a living without college than the army. You'll be out of school, and surely entitled to benefits even if you can't find a job. Obviously your position is a bad one, but worrying as much as you seem to isn't going to help. Things might go back to normal, they might not, you may have to change a great deal in order to stay afloat, but you will, whether you like it or not.

Obviously you family life sucks at the moment, but what I'm trying to say is that by stressing out, you're only going to make things harder for yourself, and by joining the military, you are giving up your life to one of the only western social institution that isn't geared to benefiting the individual, that is, you. So you can be certain that the only thing you are going to get out of it, apart from learning to kill people, is a slim pay check and some training and food/shelter.

It might seem like alot for nothing, but joining the army is giving up your freedom for most of your enlistment. Which, if my understanding is correct, is something like two years (?)

Ok, so you might get some training out of the military... and that's a good thing if you might not be able to afford to go to college... but in this day and age, with most western militaries at war, I think it will be more likely that you'll do basic training and then be seeing at least some sort of overseas duty... and whilst that might not mean a war zone, it probably will.

... ack... this isn't coming out right, but I don't want to offend you seeing as your dad was a vet. But the military doesn't really give a damn about you, or even your dad. By joining it you are offering yourself to them to do pretty much whatever they like with you. Most of the time that doesn't mean a war zone, or being exposed to dangerous chemicals... or whatever, but why give yourself to the man? There are better ways out of your problem.

i know what you mean. And I understand what will happen if i join the military, but i WANT to be on the front line, and I WANT to go threw that so maybe i can understand what my dad is going threw. I've always wanted to join and this may be a reason for me joining. I know there are diff routes, but i don't want to take them. Its either A or B for me.

*hugs*
I'm so sorry sweetie.. I know it sucks. That is what my whole childhood was like. My pops was in WWII and Korea.. which makes for some serious baggage. But take my advice, DO NOT join the military. Really... if you want to know what your father went through, ask him, listen to his stories, go down to the VA hospital and talk to the vet's in the waiting room. I know it sucks, but don't waist your future in the military. Go to a community college and apply for colleges next year. I know it is not what you expected your future to be, and I know it is hard. And I agree your mom probably needs a break. Hang in there.. it will make you stronger in the end.

Eeep. *huggles*

I think it might be a good idea for your mom and dad to maybe go see a counsellor, and try to work things out. Other than that, I don't really have much of an idea for how to help. I'm very sorry, and I hope things get better for you. I really do.

You may want to be on the front lines now, but you won't be thinking of anything else except getting home when you're there.

What I'm trying to say is, whilst it might seem like a good idea, it isn't, for any reason at all. I hate to say it, but people who join the military really can't complain about what happens to them. You know when you join that they can do whatever they like with you, and often they do. Sure, circumstances might force a man or woman into the army, but if you have free will I urge you to exercise it in the negative, Say no to Gulf War Syndrome.


I know, that was reasonably blunt, but I'm trying to turn you of what will be one of the biggest mistakes of your life. There is a difference between understanding what your dad went through and actually living it for christ sake. This act of trying to understand, don't you see that it will simply turn you into what your father is now? That is, unwell, for whatever reason. Haven't you read about the horrible experiments they did to enlisted men in the fifties and sixties? Man, my advice is to say well clear of it. You don't have to take it, but you will regret it if you don't. I can't force you out of joining the military, but if I could, I would. And I'm a sworn libertarian who thinks that everyone should do what they like... so that's a pretty big thing coming from me.

Please, at least think it over some more.

i heart you muffin.. just for a random thing that you can know.. cause i do. and such. *looks around*