Wish granted.. However, you don't have to do YOUR art, you have to do EVERYBODY elses.. including mine.. MUAHAHA

I wish I could go to the Yehudi Menuhin....

OK and it explodes in your face

I wish I'd been born a protected variety of eagle.

Ok but you weren't protected very well and you get killed by poachers

I wish I could draw anime

Wish granted! you can draw anime, but everyone hordes around you and keeps asking you to draw pictures of them, and they won't leave you alone so you never have time to do anything you really enjoy. You get asked by some cult to help design them all tattoos, and once you finish, then end up killing you to keep the secret cult tattoo design safe.


I wish i was a professional english-japanese translator, and i never had to translate for a drug deal, and i didn't have to translate for bums or anything like that

I just had a image of a talking bottom then (I know what you meant though)

Well. wish granted, you are now fluent in Japenese. However, you are required to voice never ending episodes of the Japenese version of Pokémon, and go mad from having to say "Go! Pikachu!" (in Japenese of course) over and over again.

I wish I could play an instrument.

Ah, i forgot that 'bum' meant butt over in england...Oh, my. I should watch or i might be misunderstood...(Saying 'i love bums!' or something)

Wish granted... You can play the kazoo!!... (I don't think I need to say anymore....)

I wish I was allowed to buy coloured contacts...

Wish granted! you can buy colored contacts, but the solution you put them in has passed it's shelf-life date, and it fails to disinfect them. Your eyes get all red and puffy, and you eventually contract some horrible disease that blinds you.
Hah. Fashon victim.

I wish they still made episodes of The Sercret world of Alex Mack (A really great show on Nickelodian that came on back in the day when Salute your Shorts was on...both childhood shows of mine )

wait.. this doesn't really have to do with anything.. but.. how can the Yehudi Menuhin explode in my face??????

(Deep inhale) WIIIITCH! AAAAAAAAGH!

Okay, but you soon discover that that show sucked, so you stop watching it. Ratings fall, and it's off the air again.

I wish I got around to painting my outlets with chrome spray-paint.

Well see, the problem is that I don't think any of us know what Yehudi Menuhin IS. However, it's generally a safe bet that a given subject can explode. However, I'm placing a guess that it's a religious thing?

Anyway...

Wish granted, but due to my crazed experiments with wormholes and quantum theory, the world is inverted and your outlets become inlets. Then little ships sail though them and you get irritated.

I wish that I could meet Puff the Magic Dragon. Peter Paul and Mary is awesome, you know... I met Peter once. Sorry, just had to say that.

Your wish is granted, but upon meeting him, he breathes his firey breath upon you and you die in terrible flames.

I wish that I lived on my own private island with servants and a giant mansion and a great internet connection.

Wish granted.

But you fail to install a firewall for your spanking new internet connection, and so a virus downloads itself onto your pc, which explodes, injuring one of your servants and causing part of your house to collapse. And since you are on a desert island, there is no-one to rebuild it.

I wish I could have the ability to travel anywhere in time at will.

Granted and in one of your nightmares you want to travel to an age of the dinosaurs and your physical body actually goes there. Where you're eaten by a dinosaur before you can travel somewhere else.

I wish that this game didn't have bad endings to wishes.

Wish granted.. but then I came along and have just given you the worst ending in the world.. and so you know.. you just can't bear the grief.. and die



It's a school... so I guess i could explode.. like.. the actual building.. but could the school exlpode?>

Anyway.. I wish I didn't have to ever go to this school ever again...

Ok you get expelled and have to go to an even worse school.

I wish that jobs weren't so dificult to get.

Wish granted, you now work down a coal mine for next to nothing while being whipped all day long by big sweaty burly men. With pointy sticks.

I wish my paypal account would start working so I get the bits I need to use more than one of my dual monitors at once.

Wish granted! your account starts working alright...but due to some glitch, everyone online is e-mailed your password, and they all spend your money.
Your poor.
Hah.


I wish Nikki (Evil newspaper woman) is kidnapped by an angry escaped felon, and he peels her face off with a hangar and makes a Nikki-mask, and she is left without skin...so her face is one big oozing canvas of exposed nerves...and in no point in time would my name be changed to nikki...and i really want nikki to suffer...so whatever happens, she has to suffer a horrible and gruesome tourture...not death, mind you...just pain.
For the rest of her life.
Hah.

She does, but you become overwhelmed with guilt by the fact that you wished for it to happen and kill yourself. Hard Luck.

I wish my Internet connection was more reliable.

It is.. infact... it's so reliable that you entirely rely on it... and one tragic day... you trust it with your life.. and BAM... it's exactly the same day your computer decides to BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE muahahaha...

I wish Ms Labrooy would go and mush herself up...

You must really not know me...

Lets pose a hypothetical question then. If you wished that this person was dead, and the next day you found out she had actually died, you wouldn't feel any remorse whatsoever, you wouldn't feel even a tiny bit bad? Okay, so I exaggerated it in the post, but everyone's life has a value, no matter what.

Anyway,



Mrs Labrooy gets mushed up after a strong wind causes to tree drop on her. Unfortunately, you happened to be sitting in the tree at the time, fall down and break both your legs really badly.

I wish that I knew everything there was to know about everything.

Your brain expands so much when the information is entered that your skull explodes


I wish that I was dead.

Wish granted. However, you find out on your death bed that you have won the lottery.

I wish buying music legally online was easier and cheaper.

wish granted... you download winMX... and then get sued for like loads and loads of money.. and so now you live in a cardboard box...

I wish that Mrs Andrews was also under the tree that mushed up Ms Labrooy...

Sure, wish granted, but she miraculously survives in perfect health.

I wish I had a monkey.

WHAT??????? But.. she was so mean!!!

Anyway, wish granted... you now have a human eating monkey.. and you forgot to feed him one night.. and so... well.. he ate you...

I wish I could drink orange juice...

the orange juice you drink is 12 years out of date and is now orange slush

I wish I could think of something to wish for

You think of something to wish for just as your hamster bites you it's that you wish your hamster wasn't biting you

I wish the Totalrock webcam was better quality.

OK, but the quality is so good tht you want mothing more than to see it, and you die because of sleep deprivation.


I wish AOL didnt suck.

OK someone uses the "Stop that" megaphone cannon, one that is so powerful that everyone cannot help but obey (Life long drunks become teetotallers in seconds, the people at AOL realize what they've doing wrong and fix it and you realize that you shouldn't have been alive so you stop breathing.

I wish that my Cable TV set top box had been designed better.

Wish granted- it is now fabulously stylish (and good feng shui to boot), but has no real functionality... the ultimate choice: entertainment or chi?

I wish I could become a being of pure energy and live on the internet.

Wish granted, but there are so many electrodes and too much energy running through you virtual mind right now that.. KABLAM... you're dead...

I wish I could have super powers... GOOD super powers that is...

Wish granted, you are now the fastest human on earth.

But that's not always a good thing, neh?



I wish I was a ninja.

Wish granted! your a ninja. Unfortunately, you're not a very good ninja, and you fall out of a tree whilst you attempted to do some ninja-esque things to someone, and you sever your spinal cord. Now your paralyzed.

I wish I was a supreme, ultra-powerful ninja warlord who unites all of Japan under my awesome powers. And i had fiiiiine ninja man-harem that fed me grapes and the like. (And at no time was i fed poison) and i could take on any7 other warrior who came my way.
Because i'd rule.

Okay, 8 warriors come your way and kill you. One of them is in a Stephen Hawkins-like thing. That would be me. PH34R TEH PARALYZED NINJA!

I wish I had a $47504785408 gift card for Walden Books.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, upon purchasing that amount of books, you realise that that much paper is enough to drown the world. You and the whole world drown in paper and card.

I wish McArdle would just die.

Ok but as you kill her you suddenly realise you fancy her AGAIN but its to late and you recieve the death penalty. (I hope we are talking about the same person wink wink hint hint)

I wish I had boards of canada's album

Or are we ¬_¬

Anyway, you get the album, but it is a pirate copy and you get sued.

I wish I had Feeder's album, that comes out on the 31st Jan, now!

Ok it is the 31st of jan but it also means you skipped christmas where your present was to see them live.

I wish I had a video camera

Granted and a relative nicks it and films you doing something you'd rather not be seen doing then posts the film all over the web.

I wish the picture quality of certain channels was better and no matter how good it gets I won't get distracted from other stuff, no part of my system explodes. They dont stop showing any of the channels & they dont stop showing any of my favourite shows.

Well, not leaving me with many options... but wish granted. However, your entire neighborhood is so entranced by the better-than-lifelike quality that they all crowd into your den and watch your TV until they starve to death and become stinking festering corpses. The stench is so bad you can't bear to enter the den anymore, so you have to watch TV from the doorway. Sadly, from this not-so-vantage point, the quality does not appear any better than before your wish.

I wish I could have made that a little shorter.

Wish granted.. all you wrote was "wish granted." therfor making it a completely crap answer....

I wish I had never read an EVIL story...

OK... instead you are forced to read a GOD-AWFUL story, and commit suicide out of boredom.

I wish I could connect to the servers at Miniclip (along with all the ones I can connect to now)...

Wish granted. You can now connect. However, you find the games on Miniclip so addictive, you spend all your time on there and die of starvation.

I wish I had a Radeon X800 XT graphics card.

Ok, you now have a floppy with several screens of the X800 XT.

I wish I had the new ps2 redesign.

Okay, that's fine. Too bad it doesn't work.

I wish I could get a GBDS the day it comes out.

OK, tomorrow you get a Global Beefcake Destination Signal. It gets grafted onto your skin somehow and you are pelted with beefcake for the rest of the batteries' life... Which happens to be the same as yours! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

I wish I knew why Tom Clancy hates the KGB.

Wish granted. However, you now know too much, and are killed by the CIA.

I wish I didn't swear so much.

Wish granted, just you are so scared of swear words just popping out of your mouth that you sew it closed. It just so happens that you catch a cold and cannot breath. So yep, you die.

I wish I was allowed on my home computer...