woo. i rock. i got exactly what i wanted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I wish i could be a drunken loser that is forever clean.

i know this isnt the one to answer but...

granted, you have a total existence failure considering that life is filled with pain and death and disease and everything else...

now for the last post...

granted but all the other drunken loosers hate you because of it and kill you...


i wish i could wish for real

granted, but you wish for a car and the mobsters put a carbomb in it and you die


i wish i had a tattooof a potatoe

granted but the potatoe is a picture crossed between a potato and a toe so it is really disgusting making everyone puke who sees it...

i wish that i could be awesome man (Steven Lynch folks!)

granted, but you are so awesome, that your awesomeness causes your head to explode.

i wish i had the best super computer with ai and all, and was programmed to not take over the world or kill or things like that

Okay. It cleans things with lasers and it accidentally burns you alive while trying to remove a stain.

er.. no wish ok....

i wish i could wish a wish that would wish a wish that would not do anything.

granted, you have nothing and you live a life until a trgic death of when you get raped 7 times by a group of flying monkeys.

i wish i could kill people without hem getting mad at me and killingme and it was legal for ME to kill people and nothing bad would happen and i had enternal youth and life and could not fell pain. lets see ya say something bad bout that

Okay, nothing BAD happens.
However, something boring happens: you are stuck in the universe's most boring room for eternity. Have fun having no fun.

I wish I had less gravel to deal with. I hate gravel.

granted, there is no more gravel and the world turns to a molten ball lavaand every body dies.

i wish i had a potatoe but i do not die or suffer and get board.

granted you get bored.

i wish i could play drums

Granted, you can play the drums so well you become the most famous drummer ever. And because of that, 96 jeleous assassins all snipe you at once.

I wish my guitar string didnt break.

Granted, but the neck on your guitar snaps every time you try to play it.

I wish I was female.

Granted. Welcome to the world of mood swings, periods, sexism, lack of self confidence, weight worries... yeah, you get the idea.

I wish I'd worked harder for my C2 exam. And that I'd passed it. And I still passed my other exams.

Granted, you study so hard that you become a hermit/einstein, and you (gasp) never post on matazone again.

I wish i could come up with better wishes.

your wish is granted; however you wishes become so good, so spectacular, unrealistic and demanding that soon an onslaught of depression and reality kicks you in the shins as you come to the fearlisation that these wishes shall never be granted in reality, or even in matazone. Thus, you bandage your shins and return to reality.

I wish my mother would stop vacuuming the vacuum cleaner with the dustbuster.

Granted, she spontaneously combusts.

I wish I bought a server.

Granted, that spontaneously combusts too.

I wish my sister wasn't sleeping in my room anymore.

Granted, she doesnt spontaneously combust, but now she is forever sleeping on your couch.

I wish that chopsticks were easier to use.

Granted. They are easier to use as offensive weapons. The chinese take over the world, and decide they don't like you. And they can do some really inventive things with chopsticks.

I wish there were more sea urchins in the world.

Granted, sea urchins now breed like rabbits and within a year it becomes a worldwide epidemic, with all ships getting there hulls punctured by their evolved needles and swimming in the ocean is made illeagle.

I wish i had a new phone.

Granted. It's broken and the tech support is utterly useless, so you end up putting your new SIM back in your old phone and using that anyway (true story).

I wish I'd done physics instead of biology.

Granted, but a giant (wo)man eating venus flytrap eats you and as you have no knowledge of plants and what to do in this situation, you end up being digested slowly over a couple of days.

I wish that the effects of caffeine were stronger.

Granted. It's now so strong that it becomes a class A drug. Please don't let that happen

I wish I hadn't eaten all those cashew nuts >.<

Granted, you never eat anything again and you internally combust / implode.

I wish that my avatar was better.

Granted, however, your posts are severely dumbed down.

I wish I could watch some good movies and not get interrupted in them.

Granted, but the movies somehow always go for 4 hours and you get bored of it and never watch movies again. (Severely dumbed down post) Bleh

I wish i was smart again