Wish granted! You find out where Topanga is and then you suddenly forget.


I wish I had a unicorn horn.

Wish granted, suddenly a unicorn comes flying towards you (poor thing) so fast that you get speared on its horn...the unicorn lives happily ever after though with slightly impaired vision whenever you get in the way of its eyes...for you its not so good really

(people should really learn that you cant get something for nothing, everything has to come from somewhere else, even unicorns, and err...seemingly some genies still havent got the hang of teleporting stuff instead of just pushing around it really fast)

I wish my game (which im coding) would be finished sooner

Your game is finished sooner but you die as soon as you finish it

I wish some one would get online
(the second i typed^ someone got on )

Wish granted! All of a sudden everyone gets online but you get kicked off, and your internet stops working so you can't sign back on.


I wish I could write better.

Wish granted you can now right better but you write so good that you are no longer understood by anyone else and die a lonely person who gose on withought leaving anything behind for futer generations to know of.


I wish that I had all the knowlege in the universe and more

Granted! Unfortunately all the knowledge makes your head explode and you die before you can tell anyone anything.

I wish that every wish i wish will come true

Granted!

But you wish for death and it is granted!!!

I wish my mother did NOT dress as a hippie for the decades dance.

wish granted! instead she goes as the decades before civilization and wears nothing at all.

i wish i had a lovely hat.

Wish granted. Your hat is very lovely, but it falls off into a fire and burns

I wish I had bread

You have bread, but its dwarf bread (read Discworld books!), you eat your own foot instead and now its kinda hard to walk

I wish for some cheese, the kind with holes

swiss?

Granted!

But the bacteria that makes the holes in the cheese turns out to be a toxic bacteria. You take one bite of the cheese and drop down dead.

Granted! But the wish you didnt make went wrong.

I wish my computer wasnt screwed.

oops, sorry about that.

Granted!

Your computer is no longer screwed! now it works so well it can't keep up with itself! It shuts down and decides to spontaniously combust!

I wish I could go over to my friend's house today.

Granted, you could go over there, and you do. But your friend has gone insane and slaps you with a fish when you get to the door, and you fall in his moat.

I wish microsoft programs didn't suck so much.

Granted!

Microsoft Programs dont suck as much! Now they suck even more then they did in the first place!

I wish my friend doesn't slap me with a fish.

Granted, he hits you with a baseball bat.

I wish i had a drink

You do...its a pint of absinthe, and you end up dying of alcohol poisining while having your stomach pumped and other nastiness.

I wish I had something fun to do.

Wish granted!! You...find something fun to do like extreme bike riding but you crash into a tree and your radius bone has broken through the skin.

I wish I had my own room.

granted, too bad its a room right next to george bush and you hear him practice his speeches every night.

i wish i had a computer for when i move.

Granted, but it has no wheels so you don't go anywhere.

I wish i had people to talk to

granted!! But they're inside your head and you are locked up in a mental institution forever.

I wish I had my license to drive.

Granted. Now you just need a car.

I wish stuff worked like it was meant to

granted!! everything works! But, since everything works like it should, everyone gets confused and riots.

I wish I didn't have to do laundry.

Wish granted, your wardrobe burns down and you have no clothes to wash

I wish I didnt get insomnia in the middle of my exams

wish granted now you fall into an etternal sleep.


I wish that I had my computer back

Granted!

You now have the back of you computer! Too bad you need the rest before it can work.

I wish I had more money right now. I want to go to the mall.

Granted. But it turns out to be magic money, and turns into sand on the way to the mall, which goes into your shoes and irritates you, and makes you walk funny and....erm...you die as well. From sand poisoning. Then crabs come out of the sand and drag you around for a bit. Because crabs are like that. Then they steal all your belongings and sell them. Then ressurrect you. Then pinch you until you die again. Then take photos and sell them as abstract art.

I wish i wasnt so bored.

Wish granted. You are no longer bored but there isn't anything to do.


I wish I could visit my boyfriend.

Wish granted, except he has become famous since then and his body guards kill you since they dont recognise you.

I wish computer graphics wasnt such a dull subject. *curses exams*

Wish granted, you end up working for the National Enquier making phoney pictures in Photo Shop. You don't earn much, can't afford shoes.

I wish I was 5"6" tall.

yep, except you put " not ' after the number of feet, the genie averages the two measurements you gave (in inches silly!) and now you are 5 and a half inches...about average if you happen to be someones genitals!

I wish I was less weird.

I wish I wasn't someones genitals!


Can you grant that? HUH? HUH?

Sorry, I forgot to grant you your wish. On second thought, ayone that goes around looking at gentitals is really weird.

I am 5' 11" tall, I want to be shorter, changed my mind, I am A WOMAN you know!

Granted!

Now you're a little tiny baby spider that has just emerged from it's egg sack. You are on your own since mother spiders leave their young to fend for themselves after they lay the eggs. You were born with a freak gene that prevents you from knowing how to take care of yourself. Find food, and shelter. You die shortly after you hatch. A bird snatches you up from the leaf you were born on. You were alone when you were born. You were alone when you died.

I hate spiders.

I wish spiders didn't come into my house.

(the insperation for this post is a little jumping spider that's on my ceiling at the moment)

Granted - you get fat bastard May Bugs instead. And they leave a bruise when they hit bare skin.

I wish I didn't have a little infection in my ear.

Granted!

Now you have a BIG infection in your ear.

I wish I could drive. I'm only 14 though

Granted! You are driving along in the car when suddenly you realise you cant reach the brake pedal. You crash and are in agony in hospital for a month then die.

I wish I could drink coffee again.

granted..but coffee becomes extinct so that was a wish wasted

I WISH MY FRIGGIN SQUEE BOOK WOULD GET HERE ALREADY...

lol...

Granted. It arrives broken, torn and generally so messed up that it cant be read lol. (that happened to me once).

I wish work would hurry up and pay me so I can order my bass guitar kit.

(And no saying when i go to order them the place is out of stock. I want something imaginative. )

Granted! But your boss is in such a hurry to pay you that he places a decimal where a comma was supposed to be, so you only get about $3.450 for your months work. Not only can you not buy your bass guitar kit, but you're living in a cardboard box. It wouldn't have mattered much, because the place you would have ordered them out was out of stock anyway.

Oh yeah... I wish..I could cook better.

wish granted you cook better but it also seems you made a lot of exsplosives in your food everyone blows up.

I wish that I had a funnyer comback lol

Granted, but the comeback is so funny yu die laughing, and bleed all over your keyboard, which short circuits and sets fire to your computer, and your house, which also causes a power surge, whcih sets the whole worlds computers alight, and so the whole world dies too. Then (as if i wasn't bad already) it turns out all the religeous people were right, and you get sent to hell for killing everyone, where demons tell you your comeback so you laugh till your throat is sore and you don't find it funny anymore. Then they slap you. With fish. Really big fish. Green ones. Then Mittens comes and eats your brain.

I wish i didn't feel so alone right now

You don't feel alone anymore, but that's because you're now stuck in an broken down elevator with twenty five highly unattractive people who all coincidentally are in a study involving inconvenient and highly repulsive flatulence.

I wish my school was out already.

Granted. Your school is out......of the atmosphere, conveniently blasted into space because someone left some weapons of mass destruction under it. As you're in space, you asphixiate (sp?) but not before lots of people hit you with sticks. Big sticks. Made of....um......stick insects. Which are poisonous.

I wish i had more toes

Granted!

Toes begin to sprout out of your skin wherever there is space on your body until the only thing that does not have toes on or coming out of it is your eyes. You give a sigh of relief and then two toes, one for each eye, blind you.

Happy with your toes now?

I wish I had a digital video camera. (and if someone breaks it...)

You have a digital video camera. It's already broken

I wish I had a tambourine

Granted!

Sadly it arrived with no skin, and no little jingly things, you can't use it, you throw the frame into a corner, phsyco is your next door neighbor, he comes into your house and kills you.

(that'll teach you to mess with my precious camera...my preciousssssss)

I wish I had a magic ring that will make me invisible. (but I don't want it to be crafted and cursed by the dark lord Sauron)

you have it but it turns you invisible for 5 months straight. just think of the problems that would cause.

I wish my friend would be home/pick up the phone. (Taylor - I'm trying to call Nick - the answering machine, and I've tried since 3:30 - at least seven times)

wish granted! Your friend picks up the phone, but he's in the shower and drops it and electrocutes (sp) himself.

I wish I could spell better.

you can spell perfectly but you speak a languange native to only yourself

i wish i had the shoes i need