Following Jonman's suggestion, I am buying a toasty maker for my friend. However, I need extra uses for it. I'm going to give them to my friend, and don't worry, I'll quote you. So far I have

- To make toastys

- General humor value

- Self defense (anyone read the langoliers?)

- Taking up counter space

- Mystifying lower life-forms

- General amusement (he's easily amused)

Thanks

When I was living on my own, I could make a whole tin of beans last five days - assuming I ate toasties every day...

Ummm... Toastie makers are shit hot? (does this count as spam)*

*(which isn't good in a toastie BTW)

Uses for toasters you say? What about the hand warming values?

you could get novelty shape ones, i'm sure i saw a cow shaped one once

Just remember not to try and pry out stuck bread/toast with a knife or other metallic instrument when the toaster is plugged in!

THERAPY

A toaster helped me get over my strong startle response. I put the toast in, did something else, and when the toast popped it used to scare me so much I jumped and almost screamed. After using the toaster often enough, I stopped startling at the slightest pop noise.

Also, toasters can toast English muffins....English muffins are the base for Eggs Benedict (sp?)...therefore toasters make eggs benedict....those are great...therefore toasters are great.

Toaster pr0n:

Marmite Thread

Read that thread ^ or just google image search for 'marmite'

Uses for a toaster, eh?

Find a plain, stainless steel toaster and draw a face on it and dub it the Brave Little Toaster. It will have many crazy adventures in the absence of its Master with the lamp, electric blanket, radio, and vacuum, among other delightfully friendly household items.

*runs to watch The Brave Little Toaster*

Or you could just glue little googly eyes to it and draw a smile with a magic marker and just SAY it's the Brave Little Toaster so he can find numerous other ways to amuse himself with it.

I'll give him glue, googly eyes, and a permanent marker along with the gift. It's actually a toaster-toaster oven. It does both! I think that's even better. So every time you look in the toaster oven you can see a smiling face...

Toastie machines have numerous uses:

1: Making toasties (do not try and make one with marshmallows. A friend of mine did that once and melted the bread, marshmallows AND the toastie maker-not good)

2: Making fried eggs in a funky triangular shape

3: Burning your mouth on shit hot cream cheese and stuff like that 'cos you forgot how hot is will actually be

4: Stunning your friends by what exactly you can make from a bit of mouldy chees and a choccie biccie

5: They're fun! Especially if you get the one shaped like a cow that moo's

6: Just though of another one. You could acre people by putting a small tape recorder underneath it and fool everyone into thinking you have a talkie toaster "Would you liek some toast?... A muffin?... A crumpet?... A toasted tea cake?"

You can look at those orange glowy thingys inside

Growing up, my brother and I were backyard wrestlers. One of our favorite weapons was a toaster, specifically one that had been burned-out. I don't know if you guys are into that, but if you are, go for it.

using a toaster as a weapon????

You could transform it into a radio or a bomb. But then, either way, it would no longer be a toaster.

Make a small pizza (If it's oven-like)

...

you can actually buy toasters with built in radios...I saw one somewhere

wear them as hats...

for pulling guys/girlies?
i mean, if someone went "hey, do you fancy a cheese and tomato toastie?" i'd be off like a shot

Hey Pie, fancy a Cheese and Tomato toastie?

god DAMN thats horny!

Poor toasters, getting used and abused all the time. I feel sorry for the toaster, thus shown by this which I wrote a year or so ago.

I'm sick of being a toaster.
The clients act the same.
They keep on yelling, "Browner lad!"
It's such a flippin' pain.

They all take me for granted.
I'm more than just for toast!
I'm pretty good with crumpets,
An accomodating host.

Occasionally I show them,
That they can't mess with me.
I make sure that I burn the loaf,
So there's none left for tea!

But still they just put bread in,
Be it wholemeal, white, or brown.
Expecting that I'll make them,
They greatest toast in town.

I nearly assumed that youe poem was going to be a little more sexual to follow the Cheese and Tomato Toast gag. Then again that is a sweet work of non-prose literature my man.

I was both happy and sad together in equilibrium? (Is that a posh word to put in here correctly?)

You can use them to turn a Pop-Tart into a Flaming Inferno of DOOM and incidentally burn your kitchen down at the same time.

*hehe* sure, only if it's cooked slowly and gently though!!

ohh...so horny

If you heat them up and then pour water on them, you can turn your kitchen into a steam room. You can also die from electrocution. Fantastic value for money.

Oi! Keep your hands off my Teapot!

Oh yeah, erm, forgot I was married. But come on its pie! We can have a triangle relationship, I'm sure it would work. Hell we can have a toaster as our three-way wedding present.

Well alright seeing as we aren't actually married yet! I just like being possesive when it suits me!

We're still not married? Gah where did I put that inflatable priest...

i didnae take it to play cards with...nope. nada. not moi...

Nope Perhaps we should do something about it some time!




Dont worry we have a very open relation ship as long as we both get to join in. Don't we Teapot!

Of course. I love relationships where both people can appreciate the beauty that is the female body (and lil pie of course).

*is rather flattered*
i'd blush if i could!

the possible shenanigans that could take place with this arrangement....