So last night my significant other and I were having some fun and she got stuck to the mattress...

I had to rather painfully peel her from the bed...

Why the sheets were off the bed and how they got there we still haven't figured out...

I often got sore after a particularly intense masturbation session and if I try the next day it's usually too painful for another one.

There's a staaaarrrrrmaaaan, waiting in the sky...

My TMI? I'm listening to David Bowie and thinking that he sounds a wee bit like Dylan at times.


No, I kid, I kid. That's not TMI. My current TMI is that I started my period on the 29th of March, and seemed unusually short as it finished 5 days later. But I still had "bits" floating about. And yesterday it seems as though I have started bleeding a very tiny bit. Watch this space for news on what the LAMPING HELL is going on with Daria's reproductive system. ¬_¬

Yeah, pretty much. It's feels good at the time, but then you pay for it later

*teacher mode on*
I wouldn't worry particularly your cycle changes a fair amount as you get older so it could just be doing that. You may be head into a cycle of short period's, which can onlybe good.

My TMI I smell.

That always happen to me, but only if I try too much within a short period of time.

Well, you see: I have polycystic ovaries. Periods are very few and far between, but when I do get them they are always the same: very painful for the first three days, lumpy for the next two and trail off towards day 7. Which is why I'm kind of worried about why this one has been going on for about two weeks. I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday to discuss stuff, though. I do hope you're right, though, Cath- shorter, less painful periods would be awesome!

<---- Also has cysts on her ovaries but was told by the doctor she wasn't actually polycystic (little confused as to this but it doesn't greatly bother her at the moments)

My flatmates leave jam on all the surfaces in the kitchen. After a week of the jam slowly hardening into something like magma I caved in and cleaned the place. 24 hours later it's just as bad again.

Three-ish weeks until I move out... Three-ish weeks until I move out... Three-ish weeks until I move out...

*hugs* You'll get through it!
So- update on what's happening with Daria's ladybits- the doctor put her on the pill. Seeing as my LH, FSH, Progesterone and Oestrogen levels are totally normal and level, I didn't want to do this. But I guess I should give it a go. I also should lose weight.
Do not need or want all this right now. Stupid LAMPing body D:

Hey good news! My period is this week and not next week! Next week I'll be in Ireland, and it will be so much better blood-free.

You sure you're not preggers and having breakthrough bleeding, Beccles?

Disclaimer: I KID, that was revenge for the last time my reproductive system went screwy and you freaked ME out I second what Cath says *huggles*

Mata - one mf my flatmates likes to make large quantities of food and eat it over several days, during which he leaves it on the side in a pan where it slowly congeals. All three of them leave dirty plates of food in their rooms. Two of them bake, and have, in the past, left massive casserole tubs of basically sugary water ("soaking off the cakemix") on the shelf above the boiler. For weeks. If I studied biology, I'd have been able to get my degree from the cultures which formed. Last time I cleaned out under the sink: three bags of liquidy-rotten potatoes, 2 of mouldy onions, and a sainsbury's bag full of not-quite-finished jam/peanut butter/honey/brown sauce jars... which had been there for 6 months. The ONE time I left MY washing up overnight, all three of them screamed at me. What, so bacteria know the difference between your food and mine?

I feel your pain *hugs*

TMI, TMI... Actually, that'll do. Imagine the state of my bathroom.

tmi: im drinking bacardi out of a bottle while having milk out of a pint glass. i guess i'll be talking to hewey on the big white telephone any time now hehe!

Right so Isaac and I were making a bunch of noise last night kicking a ball around and trying to keep it in the air, so Roger and my mom told us to go do something productive. Like make smoothies! We were completely in charge and could put *almost* anything we want in it. (Hey do you mind if I use your beer? "Give me that!" You said anything!).

So the smoothie was really yummy, but this morning I have a really bad case of diarrhea. I think some of the stuff we added in may have been expired.

Expired? Ha! I checked the expiry date on a box of Earl Grey teabags I've been moving house with for years. It expired in 1998. I think there are members of these forums that were younger than those teabags.

(In the meantime many other boxes of Earl Grey have been gone through, just mysteriously not that one!)

My breasts are really itchy.

I've felt like masturbating all day and haven't. It's kind of pathetic in a way.

I don't remember saying that! And no, not pregnant. Although it was something that crossed my mind.
My TMI- I just blew my nose, and my snot is an interesting dark greeny blue colour. I think it's because of the amount of sewing I have been doing this weekend, and getting dust in my face-tubes.

A series of tubes? Are you sure you're not the internet in disguise?

No?
"I just let them drop through, and squeeze my cock with my legs"
- Wytu, 21st April, 2008.

After explaining why his groin had gone numb after "sitting on it".

I've been wearing boxers for the last few weeks now, and I'm noticing more testicular squashing events. Especially when exiting a car, sometimes the poor lil' kiwis get moosed between my upper thighs. I've had to develop new car exiting techniques, but my testicle squashing incidents have decreased.

I was until you said that

TMI - I got my nipple pierced and now it's bleeding and a teeny bit scabby/pus-y

My first post in weeks and it had to be in here.

I have been constantly horny for over a week now.

Also I am in the library, anyone could be looking over my shoulder

sorry!

Also! I was considering getting my nipples pierced. But I just can't shift the idea that it would be a bit like a wateringcan when you're breastfeeding


mmm. Scabrous nipples.

My TMI? Umm... I stuck my finger in Froggeh's bellybutton yesterday, and it was a bit sticky. She assured me that it was because she probably hadn't washed it properly- not because it's got cum in it or anything.

Hmm. I wonder if that's actually her TMI?

The only mother I knew with nipple piercings bottle fed her babies, so I got curious and Googled. Apparently it's okay as long as you take the jewelry out first (which should be obvious). A bit of milk might leak through the piercing hole, but it won't interfere with nursing.

I don't have any TMI of my own right now.

Yeah I looked that up and found the same. I wouldn't have got it done otherwise.

TMI - I smell of sweat, whiskey and clove cigarettes, and have done for 24 hours now. Classy!

I had to go to the bathroom during 4th periodish (hard to know the time when you're in the same class all day...), so I go to the girls' bathroom directly outside the geography classroom. I noticed that the toilet seat is up and that it smells pretty bad. I walk up to the toilet, and there are dead flies just above the water. And not those little ones. Big, dead, flies.

So I went to a different bathroom...

Wow. So I was almost three weeks late on my period this time 'round. Needless to say, I was spazzing out about it for quite some time. Partially because the whole time I was cramping like crazy but also because...well, missed periods rarely denote good things for teens, y'know.

But crisis is averted. I am a happy girl at the moment.

edit: Scratch that. Cramps from hell.
But still. Not preggers. The happy dance continues in my head.

My breasts hurt. ):

Apparetly, right when you get ready to, well... get ready to have a baby. Your body with produce a massive amount of fluid to lubricate the birth canal.

It feels like you pee your pants, and doesn't have the 'oh have baby now' that having your water break does. Nope.

Just feels like you pee your pants.

I had some skin flaking near my arse and when I went to peel it my index finger went straight up the chute. Oiy.

this isn't TMI, but i feel the need to share:
UGH. i WISH i could smoke in the house. wish. i am strangely as addicted to matazone as i was when i first joined right now, so the tossup between having a cigarette and posting like a maniac is like being between a rock and a hard place.

oh, but here's some actual TMI: one of my newer piercings is infected and gross and it hurts. there you go!

/really, really bad try

Pff. Can't smoke here either due to threat of being fired.

I was involved in an epic stuggle with a persistent log the other day. It was sat in the bowl with a tree's worth of paper, refusing to flush. After my last flush filled the toilet with water and threatened to flood the room, I decided to retreat and use the disabled facilities instead.

Seriously, this thing was the size of Guernsey. What I most resent is that it wasn't mine, and yet I was the one battling it for toilet supremacy. That and the fact that it won.

Next time, turd. Next time.

so the antibiotic they prescribed me, because the other one wasn't working, is much stronger. unfortunately I get to be the like 10% of people it gives HORRIBLE CRAMPY DIARRHEA to!

also, apparently it's too gross to say "I have to take a shit" in front of a person you know from head to toe and have known quite intimately for two years. I thought girls were supposed to be the ones going "eww" at the boys for that type of thing. Guess not.

Walking home from the bus stop today, Eli and I had a pretty weird conversation, involving lesbians, sex, drugs, butt sex, poop, flavored condoms, and masturbation. The best part:
Eli: I was masturbating before I knew what 'masturbation' meant.
Me: *stares*

Mikey's out of lurking to lay some info on y'all.

Actually, it's mostly 'cause I'm really proud of myself and don't have anyone to brag to.

My girlfriend and I were fooling around, and I went down on her (woo!) and when she came, she squirted all over my bed. There is now a fair sized puddle of her girl juice on my mattress and right now it's three in the a.m. Looks like I'm sleeping in her fluids, a fact I couldn't be happier about.

CAND YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO READ THE END OF THIS POST!

Oh wow, do I ever have one for this thread:

Boob lump! Scary, but not mega-scary, cos honestly, what are the odds of me having breast cancer? I'm in like the LOWEST risk group of every band. So yeah, off I scoot to the Dr's anyway cos owie internal boob lumps are never good. Turns out its an abcess. When my nipple piercing looked healed on the outside it was just cos all the infection had gone deep under cover. Bastard bacteria.

The worst part? I can feel it in there and I can't stop thinking about LotusBoob (sorry).

I HAD to read the end after you told me not to.

Frickin Lotus Boob. Also, ow, bastard bacteria indeed! Poor Jen

My TMI: When I was in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago, it made my feet sweat a LOT. It was weird. It wasn't any hotter than my hometown gets during the summer, but in Vegas I suddenly had so much fluid in my socks that it felt like I'd gone puddle-stomping. My feet don't usually sweat at all. It was cured as soon as I left Nevada, even though the temperature didn't change much. o_O

Yesterday I vomited ice cream and blood. It was kinda sweet, salty and acidic all together and very pink with streaks of clot. Really delicious stuff there.

You've hit Anne Rice-level gross there, IATB.

My TMI is that I've been quasi-farting for the last half-hour--when the lower intestine gurgles mad loud and gas moves, but not outside of the sphincter. Unlike a fart, it's unpreventable. I have been getting very weird looks.

I have been sleeping with tissues stuffed up my nose so my pillow doesn't get soaked with snot.

I dropped my key into the toilet after I took a leak, so I had to reach in and grab it.

So it's been really really really hot here for the last few days, so I've been sweating more. So I've been drinking more water. So I've been peeing more. So I'm...chafing?

Que gross!

I made a poor underwear choice this morning. The boxer shorts I'm wearing have an unusually large frontal opening and no buttons, leading to the little Kybosh dropping out every now and then, and rubbing up against my zip. This in itself results in a need to rearrange the undercarriage regularly, lest continued rubbage necessitates the purchase of a new foreskin.

I have considered just turning the offending garment around, but it presents a peculiar worry - should I be run down in the road on my way home, the staff in the morgue would take a look at my underwear with the large rear opening, and doubtless assume I was a rentboy. This is something my eulogy could do without.

And so I chafe.

Fear not InKy, we could all inform them that you are a VERY expensive rentboy. Your reputation would remain intact.

My TMI? Today I discovered that I have a gaping wound left by human teeth in my neck, and now I have an insatiable craving for brains.

Alas, mine is not as interesting as that. I had my bikini line done recently, and it's at the stage where it's kinda growing back...

And so, I itch.

That's what I'm worried about...

I am currently on the pill. As such, my vajoo gloop is thicker than normal. Last week, I missed a pill which means that this week I have an odd mix of very thick gloop and menstrual fluid. But not normal menstrual fluid- oh no. This is the kind of stuff you normally get towards the end of your period, darker and mankier than usual.

The best bit?
Because of the viscosity of the mixture, it doesn't come out per se. It waits until sex to cover everything and go FAIL! NOW WHO LOOKS GROSS?!

Aaargh, yeast infection. Itch itch itch itch. Itch.

Yogurt is my preferred method of treatment, but we have none in the house. I do not feel like walking to Sainsbury's, because it's usually not considered polite to scratch yourself in public (did I mention the itching?). I know I shoudn't scratch, but I still like to know that the option is there. It's a security thing.

After consulting that treasure trove of medical information known as teh internets, I discovered that the next-best choice was something that I had in my kitchen. Garlic. I have planted garlic in my ladygarden (I wrapped it in gauze for ease of removal, because I'm insanely paranoid about things getting lost in there).

So far it appears to be working, though it feels rather odd. I have to wonder how long the smell is going to linger after the treatment is done.

Cousin keeps telling me when his balls hurt/itch/stick 2 his leg. Also, we've been farting non-stop 4 the last week.