*drags back*

A couple of time resontly I've found dried fluid round me belly button, not much just enough to a thin layer of crushy stuff.

I suffer from polycystic ovarian syndrome, and over this delightful Christmas period I have had a painful cyst a-growin' on my right ovary. I went to the hospital on Dec 30th (because my GP is up North and I was down South) and waited about in A&E for quite some time.
When they did get to me, they ran some tests to make sure I didn't have appendicitis (sp?), that I wasn't pregnant and that my levels were at the levels they were meant to be levelling at.
Once they decided that I might be right when I said it was a cyst, they needed to do a pelvic examination.

Now, for the ladies (and obvs gents) who haven't had one, they go like this: Cold speculum into the vagina, pokes open the cervix and they poke the cervix with a swab. It is better for the patient if your vaginal muscles are nice and relaxed.

I was terrified. Not because of the pokey-pokey. Ohhh no- I have been through all that before. No, I was terrified as I had a massive fart a-brewing and I could feel it working its way down my intestines, ready to free itself into the world.

Trying to keep my vaginal muscles relaxed and anal ones tight is one of the hardest things I have ever done. If I let rip, it would be ten times worse than the time I started giggling at my optician.

Luckily, I managed to get through the exam without making smells- but I thought I would share with you all the experience

Also, co-codamol makes you horribly constipated.


I hope you all had a better Christmas and New Year than I did

Eep! That makes me even more nervous about ever having it done!!

Also been there with the co-codamol thing, stupid painkillers with their horrible side effects!

*hugs*

I don't really have any TMI other than that I was woken up this morning by fart vibrations from the other side of the bed...

There is a massive hickey from hell on my bellybutton.


it's kinda a long and odd story.

We're all for long and odd stories here.

Not sure this counts as TMI but I got back to my flat today after spending the last 3 weeks at my parents' house for xmas/new year. As I was putting clothes and stuff away, I noticed my vibrators and such weren't where they should be. I eventually found them in the bag with my supply of meds. I honestly can't remember putting them them, or why I would put them there.

Does anyone else do this? If you've had a plaster on for a few days, long enough for the skin underneath to get all white and wrinkly, then you peel it off and smell underneath it smells horrible, but also oddly nice. Suffice to say I've been peeling back, smelling, and replacing all day.

There is the same yucky smell when you clean out piercing.... yuck!

Does anyone get 'tonsilliths'? They're little nasty lumps of nasty stuff that build up in your tonsils and eventually escape. They smell similar to what CM is talking about. I've talked to doctors about it and they all say that it is just a buildup of food particles. I think its a conspiracy. I've heard of people completely changing their diet with no change to the tonsiliths....

Kitty - Yeah, I used to get them all the time. They're absoulutely disgusting when they finally come out. Not to mention they make your breath pretty rank.

I think semen is making the area around the outside of my vag (i.e. inner lips) really itchy, 'cause right after sex I get itches down yonder.

also, BUMP

This is a mixture of TMI and a confession.

I let out a horrid fart last night, I apoligise to the people at the table behind us for blaming it on y'all.

I don't think about sex when I masturbate, it's actually distracting when I do. Wow, I feel better getting that off my chest.

I was spending the night at the house of a friend of my boy and I's. We had to sleep in the living room and ended up having sex in there. Several Times. Since I was too drunk to care, I just assumed he threw the condoms away when we were done. The next morning, we were all sitting and talking in the living room....until someone pointed out that there were several used condoms just lying on the floor.


Ew.

I took my first pregnancy test today! I have been sexually active, using birth control, but I realized I'd missed a period. By at least, probably, a week. Cue freaking out. But according to the test, I'm not preggers! However, if my period doesn't come soon I'll get paranoid again. Good thing they come in "value packs" of 2. I think it's because I have mono, and was really quite sick for some time. This is a totally normal reason for skipping a period, but, y'know, had to grab the tests to make sure.

GTA, chill. Serisouly. I was once 6 weeks overdue a period and each couple/ week of days when I did the test I got more and more stressed out and I think the stress contributed to my not having a period for so long.

TMI? Don;t know where my nose hair scissors are and I got a real long one poking out and greeting people before I get the chance to.

Yeah, i'm going to do my best to chill out about it, because I remembered the stress thing It'll come when it comes. Now that the first test is negative, I shouldn't have to do another one and will just wait. But yeah, thank you. That sucks.

I haven't had a period in over 8 weeks. I am definitely not pregnant (again, yay for the 2 pack tests) so I think I have cyst troubles again.
Yay.
My right ovary feels fizzy.

I've had this infection in my gums for awhile now, and when I push on the swollen part puss and blood with goosh out. Hopefully when all the dental work gets done it will go away.

Ew. Ew. That's my fantasy of snogging your face off gone right out the window and into a BLACK HOLE.

Also: Update: I found the nose hair scissors.

TMI? Ack, I dunno.

Don't worry Froggy, the dental work will be done in the next month and hopefully by then it will be gone.

I really need to shave my armpits. It's only been two days and it's already a pretty impressive quanity.

I had half of last night's kebab for lunch today! (It was a chicken one, so this is slightly less likely to kill me.)

Mata, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen with a kebab.

TMI--I pooped and it smelled like the white grape juice we used as a chaser last night =O

I haven't pooped since Thursday morning. Yesterday, a doctor threatened me with a suppository, but they forgot about it by the time I left hospital.

I'm one of those people that likes getting away from people so I can just day dream and think, but I fir d this pretty difficult to do durn the day. So when I was eightish, I realized what a bathroom really was. Sure, it's where you poop and clean yourself, but more important than that, it's an awesome private room where you are almost never disturbed, especially when you're in the shower. I almost always shower in the dark, because it's way easier to forget your environment that way and just have your mind take you anywhere. When I got older, I also realized the shower is the perfect place to masturbate in. Loud water so people can't hear you, a reason to have a locked door, a reason to be naked, and hey, water can feel awesome. So, basically, I take really long showers. The actual washing part of the shower doesn't actually come in until about the last half hour or so.

So about 20 minutes into the awesome shower I was just taking, nearly done with the masturbating bit (had an awesome fantasy going on too) there's a knock on the door and my step dad told me to stop doing whatever I'm doing because the water is leaking and wetting stuff downstairs. So I told him to give me five min to get the shampoo out of my hair and I'll get out.

I now feel kinda dirty because I didn't be around to the washing myself bit and got fairly sweaty during the day, so probably smell. I also need to to get off later. Meh.

My farts for the last few days have reeked something cronic. I mean REALLY smelled not just eww sticky fart and mean yee gads pass me the gas mask!

I'm really glad that my webcam only shows a really limited area of me when i'm standing. That way, when I'm putting on little...shows, if you will, for the boyfriend over IM, he totally can't see me trying desperately to get my feet out of my skinny jeans....or If I've shaven my legs or not. >_>

I think having my period must make my tummy more sensitive because it seems like diarrhea comes almost every time I'm menstruating.

I accumulate a lot of hair in between my butt cheeks during the day. I mean like full length head hair. Dunno how it gets there, but it fun to pick out while showering. I like to smell it too...

This thread is dying?

I usually have pretty nice feet, but every few months, they go through this shedding period. The old skin is really fun to pick off, but it makes my feet look really ugly.

I have optional pictures.

*is rather proud of his single silver pube*

It's something to do with like water retention and stuff and periods. I Can't remember exactly. I don't have a river of s#!t flowing from my arse each time I'm on but it is a bit more... soft.

Edited by LoLo: Now now, language language.

River of s#!t, haha. Well, I have my period and diarrhea again, and I had enchiladas for lunch. I swear when I was crapping it smelled like enchiladas.

Edited by LoLo: Now now now, language language language.

This thread never dies it just sinks for a while and resurfaces like what's being discussed in the previous 2 post, and with that image I shall wander off again.

Do my ovaries just instictively know when I'm wearing my good undies/ white undies? I think they do, and they are out to spite me.

Sometimes after a love frolic, it smells like calamari.

It's all gone a bit Hokusai:

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=hokusa...le&resnum=1

Would have appreciated a warning on that one, Mata.

That would explain the ink on my bed sheets

I think jungle clearance might be the best description for the amount of trimming I need to do.

This must be the best thread ever. I only wish I had something to contribute. Curse my subtlety!

Not only is it amusing and kinda gross it alos has usfull information what more can you ask.

*bows*

I had my lower abdominal piercing redone a couple of weeks ago (I guess you would call the area 'the mound of venus' on a woman, not sure if it's got the same name for a man). It's much better than the last time (and about 2-3cm long now), but by golly it hurts if I catch it on my clothing while I'm standing up. It'll be fine when it's fully healed, but sometimes it can really hurt like hell! Weirdly though, it's fine during sex. You'd think that all that knocking about and rubbing would be incredibly painful but there's been no pain at all.

In related news, I had STI/blood tests done recently and I'm still completely clean. Safe sex for the win!

Don't think so, as Venus was a goddess and all, and I think that's where the name came from. I don't know what you'd call that bit on a man! There's also a bit on your palm that is called the mound of Venus. God, I know the most useless assortment of crap.

And yay for no STIs! I was reading the other day (via the Planned Parenthood fanpage on Facebook) that in Utah you're more likely to get chlamydia than the chicken pox. Yeah, abstinence-only sex ed really works.

Oh, right, TMI thread. Um. I can't think of anything that isn't menstrual related, and I think I've shared quite enough of that stuff in this thread already. And nothing could top the menstrual explosion I had in '05, anyway. Oh, wait, I know! The other day I ate popcorn. When I used the toilet some time later, there was an undigested popcorn husk stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl.

Having a desktop wallpaper of Nicola Roberts does little to help combat morning wood.

Having just Googled her, I think that was definitely TMI

Good choice

...new wallpaper today

...really?

Boys are weird. It looks like she's wearing a barbie wig.

Don't have a TMI exactly, but this thread always reminds me of the time I got super-tipsy with a bunch of lady-friends and we talked about the worst thing we've ever had to wipe with. The list was: nothing (drip-dry), cotton balls, Q-tips, the empty cardboard roll, a hand (! yeesh!), a receipt, used tissues and a sock.

Yeah, I'm with you on that one. Ste said, "She looks like a Bratz doll. She has a huge head and her hair is on too tight."

The worst thing I ever had to wipe with was probably leaves. At least they weren't poison ivy. Thank you, Campfire Girls, for teaching me what is safe to put near my ladygarden when I am forced to pee in the woods.

I once had to explain to someone (who was around 20 at the time, I think) that girls wipe when they pee. I won't name names, as he used to post here, but it still never fails to make me laugh. The talk of the worst thing used to wipe just made me think of it. I also once explained to a different 20ish someone that girls do not pee out of their vagina (I swear this actually happened. I have witnesses). He also used to post here. There were diagrams involved.

Edit: Oh, God. So, I had this mysterious scab on my shoulder blade that was annoying Ste, because it's where his hand rests during pre-sleep snuggles (is it embarrassing if your wife talks about snuggling? Whatever, I'm going to do so anyway). Last night he started picking at it, for some ungodly reason. I told him if he wanted to get rid of the stupid thing to get the tweezers, because he doesn't have the fingernails for a job like that and it was hurting me. When he used the tweezers on the scab, he pulled out this mysterious thing that was -- and I'm not exaggerating -- as big as a baby's toe. I have no idea what it was, but it looked like something that might have been left in the tissue after someone with a sinus infection blew his/her nose.

After he threw it away, I said, "Oh, crap. I should've taken a photo of that for the TMI thread." Then I freaked out a bit, because EWW. Then we went to sleep. The end.

I knew where ladies pee because of my grand amount of sex education, i.e. a four foot tall diagram drawn on a blackboard in chalk. It ahd two curved lines to represent the vulva, then a small circle, a big circle, then a medium circle. From this I basically learned 'it's the middle hole'. I don't know when I discovered that the little hole was never going to cause confusion during sex.

I also can't remember the first time that angles have conspired against coupling (non-deliberately, of course, there are some things that should not be done by surprise!) to be greeted with a look of alarm and a swiftly said 'higher!'. I assume that happens to everyone occasionally? Surely it must. I just wonder how many times things have gone further than that by accident, it must be a few.

Man, you found the tracker I implanted in you. lol

Hmmm TMI...Much like a cat has a need to go poop once its litterbox has been cleaned, I tend to need to poop right after I've cleaned the toilet. It would be nice if my body realized this before I cleaned the toilet, but it can't seem to.