If they would be called 'family packs' then I'm sure there would be alot of lawsuits over the implications.... Then again, what else would they call them?....

Anti-family packs? "Use us, and you definitely won't have an amusingly huge family or any of the hilarious gaffes that ensue!"

*99.9% of the time


I can't edit or delete in IE 5 My gross thing of the day. I just ate cereal with milk that has been in the fridge for about 2 weeks.

I recall one time really, really, really wanting some milk, so I just grabbed the jug and started chigging. A few seconds into it, I said to myself, "This milk tastes like ass." I then looked at the expiration date and soon realized that I had a stomach full of milk that was several days expired.

All dairy milks smell off to me. It was almond milk, so hopefuly that make a differance *meep*

Deary everytime he goes out and comes back in does not = orgasim, and on that same note everytime you feel a moan come on does not = orgasim.

Well put LoLo.

I haven't showered in three days!

Thats not way too much information. I've gone over a week without showering before. I usually shave when I'm in the shower, so you can tell how long I've been between showers by the length of my stubble. During exam periods I tend to get very stubbly.

Yes but three days without showering for me makes me stink like an animal and look even worse. If I don't shower at least once every day and a half, I'm not a very pleasent person to be around.

I usually smell okay until around the four-day mark. That's also when my hair starts going all gross and greasy. After two weeks with no hair-washing (the only time I ever did that), it felt almost slimy and my hand was slick afterwards. I always wash it at least once a week, and twice a week 95% of the time.

Its not _really_ too much information, but just some funny body facts. One of my friends doesnt know her own boob size and had to ask her mum.

I got one! The past few days my gums have been all sore and bloody, methinks I have gingivitis.

Nothing a bit of mouthwash wont cure. Mmm, alcohol and open wounds.

I was rooting around for double-A batteries and came across my dad's set of rubbers (the American kind). He uses Lifestyles. What makes it weirder is that Lifestyles is mine and my brother's preferred brand.

If you think it's weird, imagine how weird it would be if you lived here.

Weird, that reminds me of my dream last night. I dreamt I was collecting leaves (I have no idea why, perhaps for XP) and I kept picking up used condoms by mistake.

What the hell?

My ex's dad used to ask the ex for condoms when he was visiting for the weekend, because he'd always have some girl or other lined up. That was a bit weirder to witness than finding a parents' supply, I have to say.

Though I never had to worry about that with my own parents, anyway. My mom got her tubes tied after my youngest sister was born, so I never found any of that sort of stuff. Though as soon as I was an adult, my mom seemed to think it was okay to talk to me about her sex life. She'd say things like, "So lately I can't sleep. Either your dad is snoring or he won't keep his hands off me, and last night it was the latter." Which makes shout "AGH! Mom! I do not want to hear this! LALALALALALA!"

A friend of mine found a video of her parents once...heheh. She was about 10 or 11 I think. She'd gone into her parents' room because they'd taped something on their VCR for her, and the tape of them had been left out and was sitting on top of the VCR, unlabelled. Oh, the trauma...

I knew a friend who found her dad's condoms, and because she knew about his, shall we say, a little too amorous sex life, decided to get permanent marker and draw faces on them and name them, too.



Hey I just had mine clarified recently. Just 'cause we have 'em doesn't mean we know anything like that >_<

You forgot to include the size.

I hadn't masturbated in about four days, did today and actually passed out for about five minutes. Intense.

36D.

Eatting lots of peanuts make your poo float.

Today is one of those days
I woke up at 6 to find today of all days, my body decided to come on.

In my favourite pair of pyjamas.


I told this guy I'm sort of seeing that I generaly swallow when I go down on a guy. He found it pretty impressive, but I just don't see the problem with it?!

A friend told me that a boy in another class mastrubated under the desk while the teacher was out, got an erection, and balanced a book on it for five minutes. I was very disturbed.

I'm not proud of it, but I #2'd in a park tonight.

It tastes of Stilton, that's the problem. Blegghh.

Also, another problem with swallowing is that you really should use a condom when doing that until you're in a long term relationship with someone and have both been tested...

Also, Daria, follow Froggy's advice earlier in this thread for the bloody pyjamas. It worked quite well for me, and no stain remover ever has.

Yes, Cand, that is quite disturbing. If I were in that situation (especially since my old man and I aren't really close) I would run away screaming.

Astarael, I know a dude whose brother did that every day in one of his classes. Both he and a friend of mine have independently told me this.

Okay, dig this: My mom loves my girlfriend. Groovy, right? Not really. After dinner, the three of us were chilling at the dinner table and somehow the conversation drifted to the two of them talking like girlfriends (not those kinds), my mom disclosing way too much info about her and my dad for me to take. On many occasions, I shouted, "Mom! For God's sake!" but to no avail. She had had a few glasses of wine that night.

SImilarly, I was hanging out with my girlfriend and a pair of our frinds. All of us had bite marks, scratch marks and hickies. My mom came into the den to talk with us and pointed out the marks on my neck, which was immediately followed by my friends displaying theirs proudly. She laughed and acted as though is was casual and funny and what-not. She later said something about how when she was younger, that was her thing, etc., etc., etc. She was sober at the time.

Bear in mind, my mom's very church lady-ish.

Stilton! Now there's a new description for it... A friend of mine once described it as "mouldy pancake batter".

I suppose I have never thought about that... Will definitely take it into account.

I remembered what she said actually! I washed them as soon as I woke up- apart from there wasn't really anything else I could do with them, I didn't want them to get ruined. They are now fine, and no stain at all. Hooray! Thank you Froggy!

Righteous: at least it's something that your mother likes your girlfriend, although... dagnamnit, being the third wheel in a conversation about your parents' sex life has to be uncomfortable, to say the least.

The other day, I was on the same train west to Wales as my best friend's partner. In unapologetically loud tones, this guy told me, and the rest of the 9:14 to Cardiff, that he wanted to try 'scat' with my best friend. Yep, not a great topic of conversation, stuck next to this guy for two hours. Confounding it even further was the fact that, I thought that scatting was a style of jazz singing, until he explained that the word had a different connotation. Explained at length.

Now, I have the catch-22 that... if my friend dumps him, I'll have to tolerate the whole rebound, drinking Jack Daniels at 3.45 while zy wonders whether this guy was the one. If zy keeps him, then I'll have the knowledge that they've been swapping their brown materials in the room next to mine. This is going to be another unusual Chanuka indeed.

I like stilton. It doesn't taste of stilton. And it's all warm and lumpy and belurghh... I try to avoid being in the situation of having to have it in my mouth at all.

But given I do, there is nothing more disgusting than having to find somewhere to spit it out again, and hold it in your mouth whilst you wait. I'm usually desperate to get rid of it, and swallowing acheives that pretty fast. And stops the gag reflex.

I just sneezed really hard and blew out a chunk of wobbly greenish muck the size of a kernel of corn on the cob. Then I spat into the sink and noticed that my spit was streaked with nasty bits of thick yellowish mucus. I hate this sodding cold. There's no way I'm supposed to have this much icky garbage throughout my throat.

Indeed, Cut-out-soul. It's horrible in three ways: 1) They're my parents. 2) My mom's a church lady who listens to three sermons every Sunday, has a calender with Bible verses on it and has crosses on the wall. 3) She was discussing this with my girlfriend.

To each his own, but I can't see how people can get into scatting. I personally vomit while in the presence of fecal matter, urine and menstral fluid (I'm not being figurative; I literally vomit). Thankfully, though, I've never had a significant other who'd like to include piss, crap or period blood in our sex life.

I did have this one friend-with-benefits who told me she'd be interested in having sex with me in my Tragick the Clown makeup, calling me Tragick and everything. That never came to fruition, but I'm still a little curious as to how that would have worked out.

EDIT: I had a girlfriend who wanted to do that as well, but also while in her stage character (a Romanian dominatrix named Robyn). We never did.

So, I'm curious. How do you manage using the bathroom without throwing up all over the place? Or is it just other peoples' bodily excrements and stuff that make you vomit?

I mean, they gross me out too...but not to the point of actually vomitting. Especially not menstrual fluid...but maybe that's just cause I'm a girl and we kind of have to deal with it.

When I go, they're safely in the toilet and I'm fine. If one of my friends walks five paces from our smoking spot to take a piss, I'm fine. If my sister's cat takes a crap behind my brother's drum kit and I have to clean it up, I have to do my best to hold down my stomach contents. If I walk into a bathroom that _reeks_ of piss, my tummy gets quite upset. The worst situation can be summed up in the following words: "I won't get it until tomorrow." Instead she got it all over my left hand.

It's really pathetic sometimes. My friends will look up scat porn and show it to me to see if I'll hurl. This one chick I know once pointed out how pizza sauce kinda looks like period blood. I ran outside and hurled. Yeah, it's sad.

My parents found my vibrator today. This is going to be exceedingly awkward.

You have a vibey, Micky?

Yeah. Pink, seven inches long, three and half thick.

I seriously hope that you are talking circumference, not diameter

Did your parents have any idea that you had a vibrator (or even wanted one) or did it come as a complete shock?

I have long, thick toenails. If I squint my eyes, they turn into the claws of a dragon.

Circumference. They didn't know. Far as they know, I'm completely straight.

*winces* Oh dear... I hope they're the sort of parents who can adjust well after they have a while to calm down and think things over.

My armpit hair needs shaving again, blast it. Why does the dratted stuff grow so much faster than the hair on my head? It's taken me forever to get it to length it is now.

The armpit hair or the hair on your head.

I just looked out the window and saw a light in the shed. Upon close inspection, I think my sister's having a little too much fun in there.

By herself or with someone?

With someone. Oh God, horrible mental images of silhouettes...

I tend to not wash my jeans on a regular basis, as I hate how long it takes for them to dry. Normally, one can't tell how long I've been wearing said pants, except during the winter.

There's so much salt around town that the longer I wear my pants, the whiter the cuffs get. Needless to say, there was one time when my jeans were white fromcuff to mid calf.

I was watching tv about 11;30 ish the other day, and could hear the bedsprings of my mother's bed creaking.


Needless to say, it freaks me out a little to sit in her room on the computer.


I haven't shaved my legs in about 2 to 3 weeks. I have had no need to, but now it is starting to scare me how much they look like my brother's legs...

Just needed to get those two things out of my system

PWM, did your parents freak out, or have they come to terms with it ok?

We haven't really discussed it. I think they're pretending it didn't happen.

If I was a parent, I'd probably pretend it wouldnt happen

Then after a while I'd probably go talk to my child about it....
Probably.


My feet smell like vinegar.

The hair on my head. *shakes head at own poor phrasing* I keep the pit hair really short, but it grows too fast. Best of luck with the parents, Mike.

YES! YES! YES! YES! FINALLY!

On three occasions, my brother has let his friends have sex on my bed. He himself has also had sex on my bed. That said, I've decided to get back at him. The idea came when two friends of mine were getting frisky and asked to borrow my room. I offered my brother's room and told my friend where his condoms were. Another time, another pair of my friends were getting frisky, so I said, "Y'all are horny. Go have sex in Rick's room," and they did. A few nights ago, my girlfriend stayed over and we were making out, etc., in the den with me casually mentioning that I wanted to have sex in Rick's room. Sometime later, she said, "If you want me, pick me up and take me into Rick's room," and I did.

To quote my brother (and make multiple jokes simultaneously), "That is soooo righteous!"

I'm thinking maybe getting one more of my couple friends to bone in his room, that is unless I decide to go with the whole sevenfold vengence thing. If he pisses me off, there will never be sex in my room, the bathroom or the den ever again.

I, too, have lots of sex. I enjoy informing people of this fact, mostly through the medium of internet forums.